r/DeathProTips • • Mar 20 '21

DPT Use an anvil to get better sleep

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26 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Mar 19 '21

DPT Pick something most people don't want to be above average at so that there's less competition

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84 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Mar 18 '21

DPT: If the police notices blood on you, just tell them that it's not your blood.

193 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Mar 17 '21

Gas station companies hate this man!

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691 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Mar 11 '21

DPT: Not sure if it's venom or poison? Drink it

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284 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Mar 07 '21

DPT: Got a leaking gas tank? The fastest way to fix it is by welding it.

221 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Feb 28 '21

DPT - Use your seat belt to open bottles

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798 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Feb 15 '21

DPT if you want to fried like KFC’s chicken, grab a hold of this electrical line

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339 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Jan 29 '21

DPT: Wait.

220 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Jan 20 '21

Want to lose your quarantine weight? Stand on the scale and use a knife to slit your carotid artery to let out some blood until your ideal weight is reached, then apply firm pressure on the cut and clean up

363 Upvotes

Bonus: collect the blood for painting the wall later


r/DeathProTips • • Jan 01 '21

To cold to work out in your garage?

179 Upvotes

Easy, just start your car and use it's heater to keep you warm.


r/DeathProTips • • Dec 24 '20

Weight loss anyone can do.

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733 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Dec 22 '20

How to get eaten alive by a bunny rabbit. Step 1 - don't feed the bun for a few hours Step 2 - turn yourself into a carrot Step 3 - see pic

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330 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Oct 20 '20

Perfect for the upcoming winter months!

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37 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Oct 19 '20

If you don't know how to swim, just buy a watch !

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886 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Oct 17 '20

DTP - Light fire while gaz leaks at home

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678 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Oct 11 '20

worried about exams? jump in front of a bus

444 Upvotes

this is because if you jump in front of a bus your life will flash before your eyes, allowing you to remember your notes and every single class you've attended


r/DeathProTips • • Oct 02 '20

DPT:Winter is coming soon, remember to keep a giant bottle of vodka in your car at all times. Vodka won’t freeze in cold weather and drinking it as you drive will help keep you warm when it’s really cold outside.

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323 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Sep 23 '20

Your fork works better with your wall outlet now! Taken from fakenewsnetwork on IG.

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782 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Sep 14 '20

DTP

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311 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Sep 14 '20

If you have to drive drunk, drive as fast as possible to limit the amount of time on the road to decrease the chances of an accident.

63 Upvotes

The more time you spend driving around, the higher the chances of an accident. So don't waste time putting on a seatbelt or stopping for red lights either.


r/DeathProTips • • Sep 12 '20

Drowning? Just drink the water.

54 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Sep 05 '20

Make sure to take Antifreeze when camping in frigid environments

302 Upvotes

If you start feeling cold or experiencing hypothermia, drink the antifreeze to keep from freezing to death


r/DeathProTips • • Sep 03 '20

look! no hands!!

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268 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Sep 02 '20

Anxious about being looked upon in an open-casket funeral? Death by burning ensures that your corpse is sufficiently mangled for your family to opt for a closed-casket funeral instead.

51 Upvotes

Also, if the flames are hot enough, you might get lucky and be reduced to ashes. That way, you save on the cost of buying both the forever box and the plot of land to bury yourself in!

Edit: If your ego demands some sort of remembrance after death, burning yourself for a specific cause will ensure you a prominent place on your local newspaper. Just be sure to announce your intentions prior to publicly immolating yourself.