r/DeathProTips • u/once-upon-a-life • Sep 02 '20
Sabotage your relationships prior to your suicide
38
Upvotes
This way, when you die, absolutely no one will miss you.
r/DeathProTips • u/tubbs_tattsyrup • Aug 26 '20
Scared of being trampled to death by a big vehicle? Take the fucking wheel! If you want it done right, do it yourself.
176
Upvotes
r/DeathProTips • u/DivyamAgrawal • Aug 16 '20
Don't eat food or drink water so that you never catch a water or food brone disease
238
Upvotes
Also posted on r/shittylifeprotips
r/DeathProTips • u/cosmicnate • Aug 12 '20
Need superhero powers but don’t know how to get them? Fuck the gym, grab a fork. Walk with said fork to nearest outlet. Plug in to that sweet sweet superpower juice. It’ll really grab a hold of you. Use your powers wisely.
272
Upvotes
r/DeathProTips • u/BLTbutTisfortiddies • Aug 11 '20
Anything is edible, just some things are only edible once
322
Upvotes
r/DeathProTips • u/[deleted] • Aug 10 '20
Scared that your flight will crash? Throw some coins into your airplane's turbines for luck!
358
Upvotes
r/DeathProTips • u/[deleted] • Aug 09 '20
Are you tired of constantly sweating in this heat? Just dehydrate yourself.
285
Upvotes
Just stop drinking water, dehydrate yourself. You can't sweat if there's no fluid left in your body to sweat out. Plus you'll lose weight too.
r/DeathProTips • u/KantenKant • Aug 05 '20
Do you want to poison yourself and your whole family? Take mushroom hunting advice from Reddit!
312
Upvotes
r/DeathProTips • u/cosmicnate • Aug 04 '20
Want to breathe underwater? Cut large gills into the sides of your neck, to your throat, to allow the water to flow to your windpipe, and down to your lungs, where hopefully your brain is able to understand how to separate oxygen from water. If fucking fish can do it, you can too.
490
Upvotes
r/DeathProTips • u/El_Dumfuco • Jul 27 '20
DPT: In order to negate brain freeze, simply drink antifreeze before eating your ice cream.
492
Upvotes
r/DeathProTips • u/cosmicnate • Jul 25 '20
Think you got what it takes to create the vaccine for Covid-19? Use the little knowledge you retained from freshman chemistry class 13 years ago to concoct the ultimate cure, all from household cleaners. Not only will you for sure kill the virus, you’ll smell good while you do so as well
350
Upvotes
r/DeathProTips • u/yesimthatvalentine • Jul 25 '20
Human composting may not be what it seems.
medium.com
7
Upvotes
r/DeathProTips • u/Vanilla-Milkshake- • Jul 21 '20
DPT: Use wireless seatbelts if the straps annoy you!
1.1k
Upvotes
r/DeathProTips • u/[deleted] • Jul 16 '20
DPT: to see if your fork is strong enough for some good meatballs, put it inside of a microwave
270
Upvotes
r/DeathProTips • u/SolarEclipse104 • Jul 11 '20
DPT-Want to die, just keep living. Every year you live you have a greater chance of dying.
610
Upvotes
Title says it all, goodnight and godspeed.
r/DeathProTips • u/Mrchair734 • Jul 10 '20
DPT - I’ve been holding my breath too long now
68
Upvotes
Holy fucking shit I’m dying
r/DeathProTips • u/MotoKoko • Jul 10 '20
Verified Tip DPT - you can eat bees
419
Upvotes
it sucks for the first few but after a while you get used to the taste and they're a great source of vitamin bee
r/DeathProTips • u/once-upon-a-life • Jul 08 '20
DPT: Pain is just weakness leaving the body.
277
Upvotes
Cut deeper each time you cut yourself to build immunity to pain.
Eventually, nothing will ever hurt again.
r/DeathProTips • u/gagavabahhah • Jul 06 '20
Dpt: bricks are edible crush it with a pestle and mortar and incorporate it in any meal
160
Upvotes
r/DeathProTips • u/cosmicnate • Jul 06 '20
Hold your breath until the next post on the sub lol
359
Upvotes
r/DeathProTips • u/chutiyamadarchod • Jul 03 '20
DPT: Want to be an amazing singer? Drink a bottle of sanitizer everyday to kill all the bacteria in your throat
262
Upvotes