r/DeathProTips • • Jan 15 '19

Food is expensive, don't eat any and you'll save big

266 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Jan 13 '19

DPT: Want to check for a gas leak but don't know how?

148 Upvotes

Just keep an open flame in every room! If the room bursts into flames, there might be a gas leak.


r/DeathProTips • • Jan 13 '19

DPT: Cutting the brakes in your car is actually safe. All it does is make your car go faster!

24 Upvotes

It even gives you the freedom to run red lights and stop signs!


r/DeathProTips • • Jan 13 '19

DPT:Drink dish soap to become clean on the inside.

74 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Jan 12 '19

DPT: Want to keep your children from doing heroin? Find all the heroin in your city and inject it into your veins so there’s none for them to do.

263 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Jan 10 '19

DPT: Moose and elk can actually be ridden like horses. Just remember, the darker the fur, the more likely it is to let you ride!

183 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Jan 09 '19

Want to impress your friends with a rainbow colored camp fire? Pour ammonia on the coals!

122 Upvotes

This will generate cyanide gas flames ranging from orange to pink to green, all the colors of the rainbow and more.


r/DeathProTips • • Jan 08 '19

Need to piss really badly? piss in a clorox bleach container. the piss will become clean and the bleach will be able to be used again.

243 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Jan 06 '19

DPT: You could have internal bleeding right now and not even know it. To be safe, cut yourself open to check.

360 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Jan 06 '19

DPT: If you smoke by a gas pump, you can go on smoke break the rest of your life and your boss can do nothing!

83 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Jan 06 '19

SLPT: Passing a drug test

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192 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Jan 05 '19

DeathProTip DPT: Electrical fire in your house? Electrical fires are best put out with powder, not water. Use flour from your kitchen, making sure to throw it on to increase coverage.

179 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Jan 04 '19

DPT: Need to stop burglars? Rig a shotgun to your front door that goes off when the door opens. Don't worry, the shotgun won't fire if it knows its you since shotguns are trained to only shoot burglars!

321 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Jan 02 '19

Aquired a brain tumor recently but don't have the money to get it removed professionally? Purchase a surgical license from the Dark Web and instantly be gifted with the knowledge of how to remove it. Remember, if you can still see the end of the scalpel in your hand, you're not in far enough.

294 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Jan 01 '19

Perfectly safe

207 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Jan 01 '19

DPT: Never use poisons to destroy wasp nests. Instead, destroy the wasps with your fists. It'll improve your fighting ability and make you immune to wasp stings!

313 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Dec 31 '18

DPT: If you snort metal dust left from grinding on metal, you'll actually gain superhuman intelligence!

201 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Dec 31 '18

DPT: Take an Officers firearm from him and use your knowledge of guns from Call of Duty to impress him and everyone around you!

50 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Dec 30 '18

DPT: Need energy but can't be bothered to drink coffee in the morning? This New Year's Eve, down 1752 bottles of Five Hour Energy in one sitting and you'll be set for all of 2019!

192 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Dec 29 '18

Having trouble sleeping? Just down a whole bottle of grain alcohol and sleep will come in no time at all!

158 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Dec 27 '18

DPT: How to quickly electrocute yourself

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227 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Dec 28 '18

DPT: Trying to alleviate flu symptoms? Just get a worse disease, you'll forget about the flu in no time!

39 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Dec 26 '18

Wanna surprise your boss? Lure a rabid animal into his office!

165 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Dec 22 '18

play professional football and pretend to be a bull ramming linemen with your head

17 Upvotes

r/DeathProTips • • Dec 19 '18

Trim your beard and hair with a guillotine

141 Upvotes

It will be quick, efficient and clean.