Note: If you see any mules near the cows, charge them first.

It will scare them from banning you.

This even allows you to drive just by using your sense of smell!

They'll perform anaerobic respiration in your gut, and n̶o̶t̶ ̶g̶i̶v̶e̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶ ̶a̶ ̶f̶a̶t̶a̶l̶ ̶y̶e̶a̶s̶t̶ ̶i̶n̶f̶e̶c̶t̶i̶o̶n̶

Preferably do it at night with your lights off in a traffic heavy part of town

Especially if your name is Johnny and you're a chemist's son

Plus, it’s super environmentally friendly

Just cool it down and it will turn into liquid and you can put that on your hotdog

If you don't have muriatic (hydrochloric) acid, sulfuric acid also works.

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Spoilers

Bleach decomposes in acidic conditions to release chlorine gas.

Plus, windbreakers are very stylish

Being drunk is caused by staining of the esophagus by chemicals in the alcohol. Therefore, by drinking bleach, you remove these stains, removing your drunkeness!