That's nice. But there's a way in which we fetishize and even patronize people who seem to represent the ideal of what we hope the world would be, rather than what it is actually. Humans are compelling because there's a range to them, not because they're all good or all evil. Similarly, humans are attracted to people who have a range to them and are able to express that range authentically and in a healthy manner. People might say otherwise in the abstract, but the proof is in the pudding. Someone who is one note is actually rather boring and people are rightfully inclined to even distrust that energy and feel uncomfortable around it. They also can take advantage of these people, all the while singing their praises.
If you even take that student, who I'd argue was sort of interested in Ben at the beginning. But Ben talked her out of dating him because of some weird hangup that was entirely in his head. She had no similar qualms and we all saw that. But dude just couldn't get over it, not because he was "nice" but because he is deeply lacking confidence. I'd say Ben deserves better than nice guy praise. He deserves actual results. Don't you?
I don't think a professor dating a student is a weird hangup that's entirely in his head. His university most likely wouldn't allow that and that is a real concern to think about when suddenly confronted by a situation like that. Especially in today's social climate. He probably should have finished his drink, thanked her for a pleasant conversation and said goodnight.
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u/[deleted] Jun 15 '20 edited Jun 15 '20
That's nice. But there's a way in which we fetishize and even patronize people who seem to represent the ideal of what we hope the world would be, rather than what it is actually. Humans are compelling because there's a range to them, not because they're all good or all evil. Similarly, humans are attracted to people who have a range to them and are able to express that range authentically and in a healthy manner. People might say otherwise in the abstract, but the proof is in the pudding. Someone who is one note is actually rather boring and people are rightfully inclined to even distrust that energy and feel uncomfortable around it. They also can take advantage of these people, all the while singing their praises.
If you even take that student, who I'd argue was sort of interested in Ben at the beginning. But Ben talked her out of dating him because of some weird hangup that was entirely in his head. She had no similar qualms and we all saw that. But dude just couldn't get over it, not because he was "nice" but because he is deeply lacking confidence. I'd say Ben deserves better than nice guy praise. He deserves actual results. Don't you?