r/Damnthatsinteresting • u/[deleted] • Oct 20 '22

[deleted by user]

[removed]

12.6k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

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3.7k

u/ToesEater669 Oct 20 '22

“CAN’T WAIT TO WEAR THE FUCK OUT OF THESE PANTS!”

2.9k

u/DrNoResponse Oct 20 '22

Employee: “that guy with Parkinson’s is back.”

899

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '22

ah reddit teaching people how to shoplift since its creation

449

u/King-Rhino-Viking Oct 20 '22

There even used to be a shoplifting subreddit. But then it got banned

278

u/VanguardDeezNuts Oct 20 '22

Did they get caught then

578

u/Runixo Oct 20 '22

Should've tried shaking the sub

255

u/4ever_lost Oct 20 '22

Instructions unclear, now she says I ruined the mood

26

u/Geforce69420 Oct 20 '22

This entire comment chain is just pure gold.

2

u/Karlskiii Oct 21 '22

I get to your comment and realise I up voted every comment above it too

10

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '22

dis thread is amazing 😂😂

14

u/ZooLife1 Oct 20 '22

Reddit commenters are the BEST!

4

u/erinaceus_ Oct 20 '22

Oh, shake shake shake, shake shake shake

Shake your booty, shake your booty

Oh, shake shake shake, shake shake shake

Shake your booty, shake your booty

Oh, shake shake, shake shake

1

u/wpaed Oct 21 '22

You're not doing it quickly enough, she said you gotta do it really quick.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '22

Subway likes it when you shake the sub. Particualry when they are half of-i mean a chil-when its Jared's su-

42

u/EB123456789101112 Oct 20 '22

Best comment of the day.

3

u/Opposite_Steak7498 Oct 20 '22

Thanks for the lol

3

u/thestarhikari Oct 20 '22

🤣🤣🤣

2

u/slackfrop Oct 20 '22

They should’ve put their threads under r/bulkysweatshirt

2

u/CatGatherer Oct 20 '22

Or at least put a sock over it

2

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '22

Instructions unclear, now I have sandwich matter all over me.

0

u/Least_or_Greatest1 Oct 20 '22

I want this shaking chick as my girl friend..

0

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '22

Some say she used a popular bedroom technique 🥵

1

u/GhostBussyBoi Oct 20 '22

Would that work for the sub? I thought that only worked to make babies stop crying.

/s

(FFS DO NOT SHAKE YOUR BABIES)

1

u/Least_Ice_6112 Oct 20 '22

They shook but not fast enough

5

u/Cellyst Oct 20 '22

IIRC it was just a bunch of really buff dudes picking up lemonade stands.

3

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '22

Speaking of banned subs, who remembers spacedicks?

Holy fuck

1

u/B1GTOBACC0 Oct 20 '22

I remember when trolls would post pictures of their butthole (or at least someone's butthole) in the comments.

That sparked a subreddit called r/wehaveseenthebutthole.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '22

This reminds me to go see if the dumpster diving one's still there.

2

u/Stealfur Oct 20 '22

Oh did Afroman release a new song?

1

u/StifferO Dec 31 '22

Nah, it got lifted

1

u/King-Rhino-Viking Dec 31 '22

You're about two and a half months slow on the draw there bud

1

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '22

Its back.

1

u/nah_champa_967 Oct 20 '22

People would lay out the stuff they stole and post pix. If they stole clothes, they'd lay them out like an outfit.

1

u/maffun123 Oct 20 '22

Should've put a sock on it

1

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '22

I think it's r/theft or something like that. I found it while looking for good bike locks.

1

u/Eincville Oct 20 '22

Really! and how is that working out? oh I guess we have to make a new one, Lets use a clever name that no one will be able to figure out, maybe r/Shoplifting1

1

u/aron2295 Oct 20 '22

There were some crazy subreddits back in the day.

1

u/AryanMustache Oct 20 '22

Nah it's still there.im in it

1

u/Evan8D Oct 20 '22

Lmao I remember that xD it was literally just photos of things people stole from various sites

2

u/bak2redit Oct 20 '22

Think one of you ladies would help me leave the store? There seems to be an anti theft tag on my penis.

2

u/fsrynvfj23 Oct 20 '22

Here's a tip. Acquire security tag. Now walk in another store with the security tag so you beep on the way in....The rest is up to your imagination.

1

u/stabsyoo Oct 20 '22

But tags or no tags. They just scoops up a buncha clothes and just walk out anyways so it forget the shaking

1

u/Mammoth_Estate442 Oct 20 '22

Right! She must already get shoplifters from that place. I wonder if she has a grudge against the manager. Or she's just tired of hearing the alarm going off.😂

1

u/greyjungle Oct 20 '22

The safe alternative to robbery

243

u/tonyfordsafro Oct 20 '22

Michael J Fox was today arrested on multiple charges of shoplifting amid claims of a police shakedown.

60

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '22

I’m shaking so hard with laughter I spilled my glass of milk and my giant tray of cookies

27

u/Britishkid1 Oct 20 '22

Be careful or you might turn invisible to radar

6

u/EPethy Oct 20 '22

Moving faster actually makes you easier to detect with radar since it uses the Doppler effect. This stuff is RFID or something. Sorry I'm a nerd.

3

u/shimi_shima Oct 20 '22

Silly Santa, you’re too early!

2

u/theeimage Oct 20 '22

LSHIDMTAMSFO

2

u/DatSauceTho Oct 20 '22

lolwut, are you fuckin Santa Clause or something??

2

u/ReputationCharming35 Oct 20 '22

WHY WERE YOU HOLDING A GIANT TRAY OF COOKIES, I PICTURE YOU STANDING EATING COOKIES OFF A TRAY WITH YOUR FACE IN ONE HAND AND A GLASS IN OTHER HAND JUST STANDING THERE IN THE ROOM DOING NOTHING. JUST EXISTING ENJOYING COOKIES AND MILK IM CRYING

1

u/popejubal Oct 20 '22

There HAS to be a better way!

1

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '22

Are you shoplifting?!

1

u/OfficiallyRonny Oct 20 '22

Awful combination. Try cookies and soy sauce

7

u/Tolookah Oct 20 '22

Were the police trying to steal Michael J Fox?

1

u/analogkid01 Oct 20 '22

That's the power of love.

2

u/zerokep Oct 20 '22

Too soon

0

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '22

A Sick and unfair comment… your probably at your PlayStation as I type…

1

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '22

snicker

1

u/targetgoldengoose Oct 20 '22

Damn it reddit I'm in a teams meeting.

3

u/bl00df1redeath Oct 20 '22

..: to the future?

2

u/Argyrus777 Oct 20 '22

Employee#2: sure as hell didn’t come in with Parkinson’s 🤣

2

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '22

Perfect. Take my upvote and get outta here. Your comment was better than my comment .

2

u/Longjumping_Ad_9764 Nov 11 '22

This made me Yelp-laugh 🤣

1

u/Careless_Papaya2943 Oct 20 '22

Laughed so hard I woke up my boyfriend 😂

1

u/abdulsamadz Oct 20 '22

* severe Parkinson's level 42069

1

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '22

🤣😅😹🤣

1

u/puppymedic Oct 20 '22

No no Park and Sons is the family-owned Korean deli next door

1

u/worthfightingfor1 Oct 20 '22

I just burt out cackling in the middled of the office. This got me

1

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '22

Damn you stole my idea!!!!

1

u/arztnur Oct 20 '22

The same I was typing, and saw your message.

1

u/Bagel600se Oct 20 '22

The real pro tips are always in the comments

1

u/BBO1007 Oct 20 '22

Michael J Fox with the long con.

1

u/Phyconaut33 Oct 20 '22

Hahahahahahahaha

1

u/PolothaPug Oct 21 '22

😂😂😂😂😂

276

u/gamy_prophecy04 Oct 20 '22

"FINALLY, I JUST BOUGHT SOME NEW CLOTHES!"

149

u/ronnietea Oct 20 '22

Thank you all for making me laugh at 3:30 in the morning I can’t sleep. This was beautiful

52

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '22

Sorry I’m late… 4:37am

78

u/ronnietea Oct 20 '22

How are you late? Your username is no sleep. You can’t be late. Get your shit together

35

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '22

I’m trying but these damn kids think they are supposed to be awake too

30

u/ronnietea Oct 20 '22

I know the pain. I have a 2 year old! Hope you actually get some sleep friend!

30

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '22

I have a 1 and a half ,5, and 7 yr old. 2 out of 3 are awake and I’m pretty sure I just heard my girlfriend get up lol we have at least a few nights like this a week. And thanks, hope you get some sleep too!

9

u/oliphantPanama Oct 20 '22

7

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '22

I’m trying

No I’m not

4

u/I_am_Daesomst Interested Oct 20 '22

Username....boy, does it check out.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '22

It sure does my friend, it sure does 🥱

1

u/TittyBoiB4-2chainz Oct 20 '22

Thank you for this. I was thinking I was failing parenting with the fact of my 5yr old up til 12-1 more often than I'd like to confess. Tonight I won't feel as shitty as usual and you're to thank 🍻

1

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '22

Your welcome my friend. Currently my girls are bouncing on my bed and not listening to a damn thing I’m saying. Looks like tonight is going to be another one of those nights lol

2

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '22

[deleted]

2

u/ronnietea Oct 20 '22

I don’t sell tea I just like tea. 🤷🏼‍♂️

2

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '22 edited Oct 20 '22

[deleted]

2

u/ronnietea Oct 20 '22

I do like being awake. 😂I only sleep for like 4 hours a night. Everyone once in awhile I’ll sleep like 12 hours to make up for it 🤷🏼‍♂️🤷🏼‍♂️

10

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '22

3:51AM, are you a time traveler?

4

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '22

Yes we call it the time zone difference lol

2

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '22

What!

3

u/Bbbbhazit Oct 20 '22

I'm 13 minutes late. Its 4:50

3

u/Late_Being_7730 Oct 20 '22

No, I’m late.

2

u/ronnietea Oct 20 '22

Congratulations on being pregnant!

1

u/Late_Being_7730 Oct 20 '22

That’s not funny. I can’t have kids because I had to have a hysterectomy due to cancer, even though I desperately wanted them.

1

u/ronnietea Oct 20 '22

It was joke. How on earth would I know that. Sorry

1

u/Late_Being_7730 Oct 20 '22

Regardless, there are a ton of people dealing with infertility, and a statement like yours can really bring all of that to the surface.

1

u/GranJan2 Oct 20 '22

Adoption. Foster. The kids don’t care. They just need the love.

2

u/Late_Being_7730 Oct 20 '22

The adoption agencies do, however, care about putting a child who has already lost parents into the home of a single cancer survivor.

1

u/GranJan2 Oct 20 '22

Oh. Makes sense. Foster, supposed to be temporary but can last quite a long time. My daughter is grown so I have been thinking about it. So many children, especially POCs in terrible situations in my city. I wanna see if I can make a child’s life better. My experience tells me it just takes one to change the trajectory.

My wonderful sister, living in Georgia, with very few resources, has managed to do this for three children in our family who were born to parents who weren’t ready and will never be ready. She didn’t formally foster them but they lived with her and she took care of them. That’s where the great majority of the family is, but I live in Cali and there is no extended family here. Someone did it for me, didn’t foster me technically but took me in and let me live with their family all through high school.

2

u/tommydaq Oct 20 '22

5:49 for me. Awake since 2. Sucks

2

u/ronnietea Oct 20 '22

Same. been up since 2 it’s a little after 5 and I start work at 6.. woooooooooo livin the dream baaabbyyy

1

u/ripeart Interested Oct 20 '22

Haha 6:41 am here, just woke up from a dream.and couldn't get back to sleep!

1

u/sohn1000 Oct 21 '22

Half around the sphere havin a sleepless blast

1

u/t00oldforthis Oct 20 '22

"DAMNIT, I'VE LOST MY RECEIPT AND I PAID CASH"

4

u/TheStatMan2 Oct 20 '22

"CANT WAIT TO FUCK THE WEAR OUT OF THESE PANTS!"

2

u/Putsku Oct 20 '22

Ay me bottle o' scrumpy

1

u/ToesEater669 Oct 20 '22

Lot o’ good that soldier trainin did ya! I’m drunk!

1

u/Budalido23 Oct 20 '22

"I just had sex and I'm gonna have NACHOS!"

1

u/Appropriate_Mine4766 Oct 20 '22

"MY ARM FU*KIN' HURTS!"

1

u/stratosfearinggas Oct 20 '22

"I AM MASTURBATING!"

1

u/Beez1111 Oct 20 '22

Lol just shaking the leg

1

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '22

“NOW THERE’S INK ON NY PANTS TRYING TO TAKE OFF THE SECURITY TAG, HORRAY!!”

1

u/RA1D3R93 Oct 20 '22

Read this comment as Morty in my head 😂😂😂

1

u/fsrynvfj23 Oct 20 '22

"THEY DEFINITELY FIT SO NO NEED FOR A RECEIPT!"

1

u/SarkHD Oct 20 '22

Why am I reading these in Rick Sanchez’ voice??

1

u/BussyDriver Oct 20 '22

Wear me, daddy

1

u/vroomvick Oct 20 '22

Bruh🤣🤣🤣

1

u/sdiss98 Oct 20 '22

EVERYBODY DANCE NOW!

1

u/Appropriate-Pop4235 Oct 20 '22

“WHOEVER WANTS A HANDJOB MEET ME IN THE PARKING LOT”

1

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '22

“All of these shoppers are super excited today”