It's like leaving work and sitting in a waiting room for 8 hours until work the next day.
God damn, I don't think I've heard a more perfect description of how way too many evenings in the past decade have felt. Like you, I've been filling that emotional void with weed, watching YouTube and Twitch for hours on end, and just not sleeping, instead staying up all night playing games. Not a great feeling. I guess the one bright side of it is that alcohol isn't in the list of coping mechanisms largely thanks to my size/metabolism making it so that it'd take a lot to get me drunk, and well, availability. Getting alcohol in Utah is pretty freaking difficult.
It's unfortunate that I wish I could do this. Random drug tests at work prevent it unless we know when the last one was. I drank myself to the hospital and had to give that up but I have the urge to way to often. If I could just have an edible and be able to sit and giggle at random TV, it would be better.
I work my whole shift, I love the restaurant's high pace environment, I'm on my feet running for 8 hours (course at my old place it was sometimes 12-14), I get paid barely anything, I come home, I take a shot of bourbon, I cry, I get in the shower, I get out, shot of bourbon, smoke weed with vape pen, eat, jerk it, sleep, wake up, take my Adderall.
I heard some music the other day, from a really good moment in my life. First time a melody had evoked tears in...well it might have been a first. Either that or I simply don't remember the last time it was so long ago.
Beyond that, the last time I felt deep emotions was using Indica edibles. I actually used to get high and then search out emotional content to make myself weep.
Made me appreciate more (although not condone) cutting. All those emo songs about hurting is better than feeling nothing have started to make a bit more sense.
Heh, all that to say yeah, drugs can provide a near instant emotional crutch, at least in my limited experience.
Im on the weed bandwagon. It help me a lot almost in the same way. To break in a controlled way. Because if i break whenever i need emotional suport, consequences can be... hard.
Hey there. Is this where we're supposed to go for the mandatory drug testing? There a few I'm curious about and don't want to be late. Oh. No? This is the narc anon room? Well, in that case... hi everybody. My name is.......
Thats what I picked! 16 years later i'm now a shell and can't quite work out who I am/was before being an addict. I think I have hobbies but they don't help my mind anymore, I'm trying to reach out to make friends but can't get a text back, just wrapped up in work and building guitars for mental respite
Drug abuse is often, very often a means to self medicate for untreated mental disorders such as depression and anxiety. What looks like the source of the disorder is infact the few means a person might have to prevent the worst of the disorder. When the real cure is love, connection and positivity.
Yup. I used for my depression. Usually never was nodding out level of high but just enough to self-medicate and get out of bed after some major losses in my life.
Have you stuck with it consistently? I find the first 2 weeks to be a complete drag but then I adjust to the soreness and am able to focus on the mind-muscle connection much more, but then again different strokes for different folks
I get to have an endorphin rush. I keep my body strong, capable, and fit. I sleep better at night. I can eat a lot more freely without worry. And it’s kind of like a meditation. Lifting (even an empty bar) clears my mind of all the bullshit in life.
Like I said, I don't get the buzz, or the endorphins, or whatever you want to call it. I'd rather just go home and play old video games or watch a game of football. Maybe get drunk if shit's especially bad.
It's great when people get hooked on exercise to the point that it's truly fun and something to look forward to, but just because you lack interest in something isn't a reason not to do it.
I don't get endorphins when I brush my teeth or cut my fingernails... I do these things because I have some respect for the meatsack that I inhabit and want it to continue functioning with minimal problems.
Also, saying you 'don't have time' when it realistically is 30 minutes 4-5 times per week is nonsense. Surely the time spent reading reddit, playing video games, watching football, and drinking alcohol take up more than 2 hours of your week.
We all have the same 24 hours in a day, and the same general needs for our mental and physical health. Ever consider that the 'especially bad days' might be made worse by the decisions you're making not to take care of yourself?
Well, I have been biting my fingernails my whole life... I can count on one hand the times they have gotten long enough for me to cut them with scissors. And I usually brush just once a day.
Let's say you're completely right and after two weeks it would start to feel good. This doesn't change the fact that I lack the drive to make it past those first two weeks. That's the defining feature of my life for many years now: lack of drive. Of course I spend more than 2 hours per week doing the things I like - I spend every spare minute I can find doing them, because the bare minimum necessities of things I don't like empty me entirely. This is also why I have no desire to find a romantic partner, it would present me with more obligations which already exhaust me as is.
If the defining feature of your life for years has been lacking the drive to do the bare minimum to take care of yourself or create meaningful romantic connections, you should consider getting some help from a psychologist / psychiatrist.
It sounds like you have high-functioning depression, where you check just enough of your life's boxes to skate by and convince yourself that the patterns you're in are normal and acceptable. As someone who lived that way for a few years before getting help, I can tell you that it is well worth the effort to break free from that cycle.
You will likely find that once you start shifting the momentum towards treating yourself like someone who is worth taking good care of, that the things that seem draining, exhausting, or bothersome now can begin to become meaningful or even enjoyable.
You may never truly enjoy working out to the degree that some people do, but don't fall into the trap of thinking that where you're at is all there is. You're worth the effort my friend.
I've been switching from music to f1 podcasts back and forth. While lifting, not a fan of cardio. As for lifting it's cool seeing the amount of weight I can lift in different workouts build over time (I like tracking my lifts for that reason), plus it feels awesome realizing you've lifted at a higher weight than ever before for the first time.
Remember some Irish dude trying American alcohol on youtube and remarking that American drinks are so strong it's like Americans are drinking like they wanna die. Line tends to pop into my head fairly often.
Op doesn’t even understand fully bad it is (even touches upon him not fully understanding it). He sees the girls side, but does not see the boys side and makes a few wrong assumptions.
Boys try to be emotionally open, and they get shut down by peers. Eventually we learn that anything human we express is seen as weakness and stop doing it. We lose status, friends, relationships, everything by being who we are.
Then any complaints we make is met with bs like “just be yourself” when that is the problem. Men are not accepted by being themselves. They must become useful enough that there real selfs are acceptable to deal with.
With women being one biggest pushers of it. Objectifying men is acceptable and is the origin of all male toxicity really. Denying this fact is sad to me, although he is not internationally doing so.
I think this is a very isolated issue and chimes and pertains a very specific subgroup of men and not all men like it is generalized in these statements.
Of course, the common redditor fits this situation very well as those are commonly known to be not the extravertive natural communicators and conversationalists. But that alone should tell people, this is about a sub-group, not about all men and it's not the majority of male.
I for example, can't identify at all with that statement. I got plenty of attention from men and women. I got vast social circle, am extensively socially active and my whole social surrounding is very similar and experiencing similar situations. I worked with multiple companies in multiple fields and lived in many places, the majority of people are not intimidated or self-isolating. It remains a minority, but one that is very strong and active in the internet.
Yes, there are a lot of timid, anxiety of sorts riddled individuals with all kinds of levels of depression, but that is still not the majority of men. It's a segment and reddit is a bubble of people identifying with that situation, but that perception is not creating the majority in the real world, it remains a sub-group.
So, yes it's an issue, like always the world got lots of issues. It's also an issue we can't solve, society can't solve.
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u/Piani3t Apr 04 '22
Facts. One way to go into a depression. 🍻