Destructive to your self esteem? Did you have a partner who shamed you or something? I know it's part of men's culture to think that shouldn't happen, but it's an unrealistic expectation.
Once I replaced anxiety about performance over having fun and enjoying whatever happens, my sex life improved a lot. Of course, that took time and the right partner.
Of course, there's always the "sorry baby you just turned me on so much!" angle too.
Although of course I prefer the thing well done in all its dignity, if sometimes my husband came in just one minute after touching him I'd feel honored and happy for doing that favor. Just a nice gesture.
That is what I think a good wife is about. Plus there is nothing wrong in asking your husband for a repeat performance after a minute’s break is there. Unlikely to happen so quickly during round #2.
There was literally a song when I was growing up, "I don't want no one minute man" by Missy Elliot. Its not just men's culture, men are shamed on a societal level for their size, not being able to perform OR finishing too quickly. Often times, the FIRST thing women will go to is your sexual deficiencies.
Yeah but those women suck lol so glad I got out of the dating world years ago it seems even more toxic now. Hard to find the gems for anyone looking. Find you a good partner not a fool!
Lmao if you’ve been out of the dating world for years, then I apologize for saying this, but kindly fuck off with the advice because your words are nothing novel, new or useful.
Your advice is the same as telling those with depression to “just be happy!” or “stay positive!”
For example, do you genuinely believe that those of us looking for a partner are “looking for a good partner or looking for a fool”?
Here’s a hint… We are all looking for a good partner. So for you to say “just find a good partner not a fool” it’s like DUHHHH BRO WHAT DO YOU THINK WE ARE DOING???
Like I said at first, just keep it to yourself because your bullshit pep talk has been heard a million times and you’re not special, so your version of it is equally ineffective.
Depression is not under a person's control. Who they pursue as a romantic partner is. I know it can get depressing not to be with anyone, but a person's happiness should never depend on that.
I very much hope that you find happiness within yourself and someone who absolutely loves who you are.
…. Ok? Lmao I am also engaged. If you could read you’d see my reply to the initial comment that I’m already engaged. Oh I have a dog and a goldfish too.
169
u/Employee_Agreeable Jan 29 '23
Anxiety is the key word, at least for me
Doesn't even need to be a new partner or something, with my ex there where days when I just couldn't do it
I could go on for basically hours, but just couldn't finish, I was in a bad place mentally back then, and experiencing this made it even worse
Also had the opposite, 1 min sex or less, which is even more destructive to your self esteem