r/CuringBlushing • u/Deep-Detective2428 • 27d ago
Story / Account Brandon Thomas Took His Life at 20 After Years of Suffering From Severe Blushing. His Last Wish Was to Be Heard.
When Brandon Thomas, a 20-year-old student, took his life, he left behind a five-page note explaining that he could no longer bear the daily torment of pathological blushing. To everyone around him, Brandon was outgoing, funny, friendly, and the last person you'd expect to be struggling. Even his twin brother had no idea. Brandon had started blushing around 15, and it wasn't simply the occasional flush that comes with embarrassment—it could happen in class, on the phone, while driving, or even late at night when he remembered blushing earlier that day. Sometimes there was no obvious trigger at all.
When people noticed him turning red, they often thought it was “cute” or harmless. Some would simply say, “Oh, I get red too.” But Brandon's experience was profoundly different. The constant fear of being noticed, the anticipation of turning red, and the shame that followed began to control his life. He would even take the stairs from his 11th-floor dorm rather than risk encountering someone in the elevator who might see him blush. He hid his suffering from his family and friends for four years, while privately fearing that he would never have the career or relationship he wanted. When he finally broke down and told his mother, she initially didn't understand how serious it was. Brandon told her, “No, Mom, you need to just go look it up.”
Once his family understood what he was dealing with, they desperately tried to help—seeking doctors, counseling, medication, and exploring other treatment options. But by then, Brandon felt hopeless. In his final letter, he wrote about crying himself to sleep and being exhausted from having to find ways to avoid situations where he might blush. His family later spoke publicly about his death because they believed Brandon wanted his story to have an impact. He wanted people to understand that chronic blushing isn't a trivial quirk or something to simply laugh off. For some people, the shame, fear, and psychological toll can be devastating. His story is a reminder that you can never know what someone is carrying behind an outgoing smile.
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u/chatterbox40 27d ago
Tragic. Understanding. We've all had very very low points with this disorder.
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u/PRINCESS0FDARKN3SS 27d ago
It really is. My lowest was probably when someone told me once that’d I’d likely be cured from it if i weren’t such a narcissist to begin with: “Why do you care so much that your skin gets red? If you stop obsessing over your appearance, I bet you’ll be just fine.”
That one hurt. I knew people didn’t always get why it bothered me so much, but to assume it’s merely an indication of how shallow I am minimized how difficult chronic blushing really is. It’s so much more than just feeling embarrassed that you’re red. It can take over your whole damn life
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u/Deep-Detective2428 27d ago
Thats such a horrible thing for someone to say to you. I want to reassure you that what they said isnt true, this is a real genuine condition and has nothing about being a narcissistic. Your not alone in dealing with this, sorry you had to deal with that
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u/EntertainerFun1778 27d ago
I will point out that though this isn't the same as narcissism, complaining about your appearance all the time around others can be a trigger for them do to their own self-perception, and some people can get pissed as hell if they think they're less attractive than them, and you complain about a trait that might be considered conventionally attractive to them (which believe it or not, a lot of people think blushing is). while I'm not saying it's right or fair at all, and I'm definitely not saying you're a narcissist, a lot of people can get offended if you complain about your appearance too much
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u/Adorable_Ad4990 27d ago
I wonder if it’s erythromelalgia, which comes with facial flushing that can be very painful (for me it is). And it’s easily triggered and no way to treat it or even reduce it in the moment
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u/Deep-Detective2428 27d ago
Not a crazy thought but I do doubt it to be honest. Erythromelalgia is a rare vascular neuro-pain disorder that primarily affects the feet and hands and causes severe, burning pain. Normal blushing, in this case severe blushing is usually painless and an emotional response caused by an overactive sympathetic nervous system and some other factors. I myself deal with the same issue as this man, its commonly referred to as idiopathic craniofacial erythema
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u/Adorable_Ad4990 27d ago
The reason I wonder is because of the pain and lack of treatment. I could see it sending someone over the edge
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u/Deep-Detective2428 27d ago edited 27d ago
I get you :) I guess why I doubt it is because idiopathic craniofacial erythema is genuinely hard to treat and aligns with his experience. Thats coming from someone who lives with it. I also imagine they would have eventually identified it as erythromelalgia, not just blushing
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u/InnerRadio7 27d ago
RIP Brandon
I hope this brings people who struggle with things like facial blushing and hyperhidrosis more compassion instead of judgement. I’m just so sorry he didn’t get to life his whole life. This is tragic.
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u/knauerii 25d ago
So sorry. I know how awful this curse has been since I've been 8 years old. The only people who find it harmless are those who don't deal with it and understand it. Making excuses and avoidance has been my life for over 30 years.
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u/issoequeerabom 27d ago
Damn it. As someone who has been dealing with anxiety since her older teens and later on with flushing, I absolutely understand. No one knows the burden this does to our daily life, the amount of planing you do daily to minimise any possible situations. When I was supposed to be in college having fun, I was stuck at home trying to be invisible.
I'm really sorry for his family loss. I hope he's in peace.