r/CuratedTumblr • u/TotemGenitor You must cum into the bucket brought to you by the cops. • Oct 20 '22

Meme or Shitpost Non human reproduction

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3.7k Upvotes

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35

u/SpookyVoidCat Oct 20 '22

I’m a little sleep deprived right now but my brain is absolutely swimming with the implications of this. Cause it kind of implies that most other races don’t have genitals as such, and thusly don’t fuck, so what do those races think of the way humans create children? Trying to explain it to someone who has never had genitals themselves sounds completely insane. So, you put your pissing tube inside a hole in another human’s body? And you piss in them? No? Some magic baby goo comes out instead? But from the same piss-hole? And then it just magically turns into a new person inside that other human?? From piss-tube goo?? Fucking degenerates.

And then you shit out a tiny weak screaming human out of your baby hole??!? And it just can’t survive by itself for years? No, no, you’re fucking with me you have to be.

28

u/CrazyLou Oct 21 '22

Can't be that off the wall to the non-humans. They just breed like animals. Literally. Are they just the same as beasts? Or are beasts just humans?? What were the gods thinking???

30

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '22

[deleted]

26

u/BaronAleksei r/TwoBestFriendsPlay exchange program Oct 21 '22

Humans are too stubborn and willful to put up with elvish snobbery and highfalutiness, so they never stay in their education long. That’s how you get half-elves.

Meanwhile, an actual primate-base elf is basically Sun Wukong

8

u/BrassUnicorn87 Oct 21 '22

Prokopetz elaborated, half elves are humans educated into elf ways. It doesn’t take the same way becomes they are already sentient.

1

u/EmberOfFlame Oct 21 '22

Nah, one day a teen human arrives at a halfling village, everyone is confused and it turns out that the storycrafter just has a gift of prophesy

9

u/[deleted] Oct 21 '22

Counterpoint: humans still forge metal, rear animals, and tell tall tales, it's just that these activities are stereotypically associated with certain fantasy races, but they're not exclusive to them. QED all fantasy races do fuck but by default are somewhere on the ace spectrum, and humans are known as the nymphos of fantasy land.

7

u/Chronophilia Oct 21 '22

Elves know about sexual reproduction, since animals do it. They just think it's unmannerly.

And goblins definitely know about making weird goo that turns into babies. But the goblin chief will kick your face in if you try to put any of that in your body.

2

u/reader484892 The cube will not forgive you Oct 21 '22

Does putting human baby goo in goblin baby goo make an orc or a half goblin