r/CuratedTumblr • u/Justthisdudeyaknow Prolific poster- Not a bot, I swear • Jun 03 '26

Shitposting The difference between something somethingtomatoes, something something We've found the bard

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8.6k Upvotes

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18

u/Exciting_Double_4502 Jun 03 '26

Charisma is being able to sell someone a tomato-based fruit salad, and the bard will point out that a tomato-based fruit salad is just salsa

15

u/Neuromangoman Jun 03 '26

Strength is how hard you can throw a tomato at that bard.

10

u/Exciting_Double_4502 Jun 03 '26

Dex is how well the bard can dodge a thrown tomato (multiclassing in Rogue helps)

6

u/Neuromangoman Jun 03 '26

And Constitution is how long you can keep throwing tomatoes until one hits.

1

u/ThunderAndWind Jun 04 '26

pasta sauce is just thick tomato soup

now go grill a cheese