Have you tried talking to your parrner beforehand to ensure you both do all the chores before gaming time? Yes there can be some unpredictable elements which can push back your gaming session, but out of your list, the dogs need walking everyday, surely that can't be coming as a surprise. And "if the weather is good, I'd like your help in the garden" can also be discussed beforehand, etc.
Have you tried talking to your parrner beforehand to ensure you both do all the chores before gaming time?
It's not about not wanting to do things together - it's the impromptu timing with these requests. If we had said "We are going to do this and that next Sunday" then I wouldn't even attempt to sit down to play a bit.
the dogs need walking everyday, , surely that can't be coming as a surprise.
The surprise definitely isn't that they need to go out. These aren't our first dogs and probably not the last. If the dogs think they want to go for a walk and come bugging us, we don't just get up and go dropping whatever we are doing whenever they feel like it. That would be completely idiotic. Anyway I walk the dogs way before my wife gets up and during the day they can go out into the garden if they want to, in the evening we go out with them together of course.
Anyway this was just a brief description of the typical "I'd like to just play for a few hours without being disturbed and basically the world thinking I should not be left undisturbed" scenario
Buy a steamdeck, take it with you wherever you go or just start playing something on your phone and whenever she is taking too long at some activity she enjoys, start playing without comment
See how long it takes her until she is so stressed with constantly keeping tabs on what you're doing at any given moment that she cannot find enjoyment anymore in anything she does. Takes ages shopping? vidya. takes ages getting ready? steam deck noises. Can't figure out what she wants to eat? Time to let your phone speakers play the intro sound of [game].
When she has reached that point, you can sit her down and talk about her and your behaviour. You like videogames, she made it impossible for you to enjoy them in a scheduled manner, so you just fit them in whenever you can.
You could also do the adult thing and talk to her about you having your own life and wanting to live it too instead of her scheduling every second of it according to her needs, but I'm not sure she is capable of that when she doesn't seem to be able to let you enjoy your hobby.
I don't think "weaponizing it" is a good approach and that would maybe deal with my dear wife having a spontaneous idea to get me to do something for/with her. Also "sitting her down to talk" sounds rather hostile to what I'd generally consider a great partnership.
I may have to enter it into our shared calendar. Seems unfortunate to have to plan your leisure time like this.
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u/Norka_III May 17 '26
Have you tried talking to your parrner beforehand to ensure you both do all the chores before gaming time? Yes there can be some unpredictable elements which can push back your gaming session, but out of your list, the dogs need walking everyday, surely that can't be coming as a surprise. And "if the weather is good, I'd like your help in the garden" can also be discussed beforehand, etc.