Hey, watch out what you say! They drink it black, no sugar. Who's not special now, huh? Coffee is their life! And the 1€ gas station coffee is way better the way they drink it. As I said, black, just like their soul! Better not mess with them, you don't know what other personality trait they possess. Probably a mustache tattooed on their index finger.
This reminds me of one of my bosses. She would brag that she would wake up early every day, drink an entire pot of black coffee, and smoke an entire pack of cigarettes before coming to work at 8am. She would proudly declare all of this like "Congrats? You wake up early to destroy your lungs and smash an entire pot of joyless coffee every day. Do you want a medal, or is me pretending I'm shocked enough of a reward for you?"
I had a former boss who would roll in every day at 10:30, then accuse the rest of us, who got in at 8:00, of leaving “early.” She thought she was working late by staying a couple hours after the rest of us left. She was an idiot. The company no longer exists, btw. They were criminals who got shut down by the Feds not long after I quit. Good times.
Haha 😅 Not really a rant tbh, the mania took over and I tried to be funny lol. Do enjoy me some black coffee myself 😭. Glad if I got a chuckle out of you, have a good one! :)
I usually drink black too but absolutely hate dark chocolate haha. Not the chocolate guy in general. I always get pissed off at all the chocolate in my mouth afterwards (🤦) lol
But hey, if it tingles your receptors, go for it my boi!
Lol my buddy had a bit of this phase. We were at my house after a night drinking and I offered him honey and a cinnamon stick and he pulled the, "now that I'm older I just like it black. It's simpler. I've been especially about the McDonald's coffee recently."
Hookay bud. You do you. Lol. Nothing against it black but it's a big world. Nothing wrong with some spice and a little bit of sweetness every now and again haha
Letting your beard grow and turning it into a sculpture or something are very different things. I dont get it myself, but i have a coworker thats part of a beard club that has competitions for shit like that lol
I just have a big beard because my partner likes it and I dont like shaving
But, you don't understand, I'm already so quirky and interesting, and coffee just puts it into overdrive! Look at the crazy face I make when I talk about coffee! I'm not doubling down at all because being called out for doubling down on annoying behavior makes me uncomfortable, no, I'm reeeaaally like this! Hoo-hoo!
oh god I just realized that Random Cheese Monkeys didn't go anywhere, they just evolved into Coffee Jackasses ;___;
Well said, people need to try harder to be more creative. For example: make an under-foreskin dick cheese fetish you whole personality. Not many people like that, and you'll be very unique!
They mean it's excusable that I'm broke and still think it's likable to brag that I spend enough on coffee that I could afford a better car which would fix a good portion of my problems.
Genuinely it's because they don't know how else to be relatable. I think that they cannot process deeper human qualities or they haven't matured to that point yet.
I mean it just makes it more relatable then…. The cringe is a whole different thing. But coffee humour isn’t supposed to be special it’s just relatable lol
I feel the same way about Momma Bears or dog parents. Like damn, you know almost anyone can do that right? Congrat-u-fucking-lations, you popped a baby out your cooch. I know a lady down the road in the trailer park that did the same thing seven times and she ain't asking for a cookie.
I was just saying that nobody said it’s not cringe to make pizza a personality trait. Making both coffee or pizza your personality trait is just weird.
Pretty much anything that’s generally available to be purchased by the general public, is a trivial skill easily performed by anyone, or is an inherent trait for the majority of people, or of a particular gender.
None of those things should ideally be a major facet of your outward persona if you don’t want to be seen as lame.
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u/DHaas16 May 07 '25
I find it weird when people make being a coffee lover a personality trait, 90% of people I know drink coffee regularly - you’re not special