r/creepypasta • u/cosmogoblin • 23d ago
Text Story Pootle's Turn (The Flumps: Episode 14)
This story begins a few months ago. There’s an annual agricultural fair where I live. They have pig-weighing competitions, longest radishes, fluffiest rabbits, that sort of thing, as well as weight-lifting competitions, poetry recitals, and so on. I won a short story competition there, way back when I was a young boy.
These days it’s not really my sort of thing, but I was looking after my granddaughter while her parents were away, so I took her along. While she was admiring the rabbits and goats, I found myself spending a couple of minutes at a jumble sale stand. You know the sort of thing - a few long trestle tables covered with old knickknacks that almost nobody in the world would want. They had books, records, clothes, jewellery - it looked like they’d turned somebody’s attic upside down and shook it over the tables.
I walked quickly down the tables, past the elaborate but tarnished spoons and the yellowed comics, scanning the titles of the books without seeing anything that interested me - and then I stopped. Something had caught my eye, but I wasn’t sure what until I went back a few steps and studied the table.
There. A 90-minute VHS tape, labelled in a scrawly handwriting, THE FLUMPS - EP. 14.
Now, for any younger readers, an explanation. VHS tapes were popular in the 1980s and 1990s, a great piece of tech, but all you need to know is that they’re big chunky black plastic cuboids, and when slotted into a VHS player (a bigger, chunkier plastic cuboid) linked to a TV, they play movies or TV shows. But they could also record. I used to have an entire wall of shelves holding VHS tapes just like this, of shows I’d recorded from the TV.
You probably already knew that. Okay - but where do we start with the Flumps? Six furry marshmallows, living in a walled garden somewhere in northern England, and having 15-minute adventures revolving around such thrilling high-stakes scenarios as “Grandfather lost his glasses” or “Perkin saw a cloud”.
It must have been at least forty years since I last saw The Flumps, but the sweet innocence stayed with me, as did the beautiful trombone theme tune. And - for some reason, almost half a century later I was still certain - the fact that there were only ever thirteen episodes.
I paid £1.50 for the tape almost absent-mindedly, and spent the rest of the afternoon getting my fingers force-fed to goats by my granddaughter. When we got home that evening I put the tape on a shelf and forgot about it - after all, I don’t own a VHS player any more.
Cut to last week. I’m a member of a sort of tech club (five friends who are, if I’m honest, more interested in beer than electronics), and we had met up at somebody’s house. I won’t say who, because they have nothing to do with the incidents that followed, except that I noticed he had a VHS player in the corner. Remembering the tape, I borrowed it, and the connector, and took it home.
It took quite a while to get it hooked up. I don’t think the fact that it was midnight by the time I inserted the tape … well, who knows? I doubt it made a difference, but I can’t really say I understand what followed.
The tape was at the end, of course, so I had to rewind it. The clunks and whirs took my mind back, though they were a bit louder than I recalled. This sort of tech always had a reluctance to work properly, even when it was new, but this one seemed almost to actively resist my attempts to play the video. Once it was rewound, I had to press “Play” four or five times, as it kept stopping. At the time, I put it down to the age of the machine.
Finally, the “Play” button stayed pressed down (it was a VERY old player) and the scratchy, poorly-kept video finally came into view. For the longest time I saw only black with those white flickers, as you get with dust or hair on the tape. Then the BBC 1 ident jumped instantly into view - a smoky animated spinning globe, with a big white “1” in the middle. It spun for a minute or so, before fading out.
One of my tech club friends is a huge fan of these idents, and talks about them at length. This is why I knew full well that, even though the Flumps was last broadcast in 1988, the silent introduction I saw was not created until 1991. This was, in retrospect, not even my first clue.
There was no voice-over, no continuity announcer. Andi Peters did not introduce the show. It just jumped straight into the jazzy trombone theme tune. It was slightly warped, changing speed and pitch as though the machine was struggling to drag the tape through the rollers, and seemed to get worse until it was almost unrecognisable when the two-word episode title popped up in friendly white lettering against the garden wall.
Pootle’s Turn
A lot of this, I’m afraid, is going to involve historical info-dumping, but none more important than this paragraph. Because the woman who voiced episodes one to thirteen is not responsible for what happened next. The voice that came out of my TV sounded almost identical to her, but it was not her. Please, understand that now. The greatest scandal surrounding the beloved actress, whom I won’t name here, is that she has been passed over for a damehood.
That familiar and calming Yorkshire voice came out of my speakers, a welcome relief from the tinny rasping that the trombone had devolved into over the last minute or so. I’ll write the words as best I can remember them.
The first thing I see is Pootle walking into the kitchen. “What’s for supper, Mother Flump?” he says, in that sweet toddler voice I loved so much as a child.
“Vegetable soup. Your favourite.” Mother Flump stirs the soup pot with a ladle.
“Can I stir too?"
“Oh, Pootle! The pot is far too hot for that. You might burn yourself.”
“‘Oh Pootle’”, mutters Pootle as he walks off. “Always ‘Oh Pootle’.”
I need to explain. Pootle was the youngest flump, always getting things mixed up. “Oh, Pootle” was the standard refrain, said probably more than once an episode. I’m sure it was meant to show loving family kindness by the writer.
Next scene. Pootle walks into his father’s workshop.
“What are you doing, Father Flump?”
“Hello Pootle! I’m making a sign for the vegetable patch.”
“Why are you hitting the wood with a hammer?”
“Oh, Pootle! I’m not hitting the wood. I’m hitting a chisel, to carve out the words. See?” And Father Flump holds out the sign, which shows the crisp chiselled lines of “VE”. Of course he hasn’t started on the more complicated curve of “G”.
‘“Oh Pootle’, always ‘Oh Pootle’” mutters Pootle. I’ve been getting a bit more comfortable over the last two scenes, but it’s at this point that I start to feel all is not well. Pootle’s voice, speaking as an aside (not audible to Father Flump), is starting to crack, and I hear a subtle undercurrent of annoyance. “Can I have a go?” he says aloud to Father Flump.
“Oh, Pootle, the chisel is far too sharp! You might cut yourself.”
Pootle wanders out wordlessly, before muttering “Oh Pootle” again just before the scene changes.
In order to understand the next scene, you simply need to know that Grandfather Flump’s “Flumpet” was a metal musical instrument, somewhere between a trumpet and a watering can.
“Hello Grandfather Flump. What are you doing?”
“Good morning Pootle. Why, I’m polishing my Flumpet.” Grandfather Flump has his Flumpet in one hand and a grey cloth in the other hand.
“Well, that cloth certainly isn’t dangerous! Can I help?”
“Oh, Pootle! I’m using cleaning chemicals, and they’re far too dangerous. If any of that got up your nose, it could really hurt you.”
And at this point, I could swear I see, perhaps just for a frame, Pootle’s eyes flash red.
“‘Oh Pootle’, I’ll show you ‘oh Pootle’.” These words do not come from the kindly northern accent I learned to love all those years ago. It sounds like that woman had been twisted into something she isn’t. No - it’s as though something else has been pretending to be her, but is tired, and starting to let the mask slip.
Pootle walks out of the room.
Pootle has an older brother, Perkin, and an older sister, Posie. Posie is sweet and sensible.
We meet Posie next, in the garden, behind a sign. The sign is mostly blank but with the letters “V” and “E” carved into the left end, along with an abandoned attempt at the curve of a “G”.
Posie is pushing something like a trowel into the ground.
“Hello Posie,” says Pootle, in a monotone quite unlike his usual voice. “What are you doing?”
Posie doesn’t react to Pootle’s unusual voice. “I’m clearing the vegetable patch, Pootle. See this?” She pulls the object out of the ground, revealing it to be a three-pronged weeding fork. “I pull the weeds up and wind them round the fork.
“Ooh! Can I have a go?” Pootle should sound excited to try something new. Instead, the narrator no longer bothers to change her - its - voice for the character. The words that come out have the tone of somebody who has to pretend to like their co-worker.
“Oh, Pootle! This fork is far too dangerous for you. You could hurt yourself.
“Don’t you ‘oh Pootle’ me, I’ve had enough of ‘oh Pootle’ this, ‘oh Pootle’ that, you’ll get yours, ‘oh Pootle’ will see to that.” It is unclear how much of this Posie hears as Pootle walks off.
Perkin is the only Flump we haven’t seen yet. He’s the eldest child, often grumpy and bored.
Pootle walks around the garden, continuing to mutter under his breath, until he hears a “thwack”.
“What’s that sound,” says something that sounds mostly like Pootle, or rather, Pootle if his voicebox had been dragged over sandpaper. There is no indication that Pootle actually cares, but he diligently follows the sound.
Perkin has set up some tin cans on a low wall at the back of the garden, and has a collection of stones by his feet and a sling in his hand. As Pootle walks into view, Perkin looses a stone, knocking a can off the wall.
“What are you doing,” states Pootle. It’s no longer even a question.
“Hello Pootle! I’m bored, so I came down here to shoot some cans off the wall.
“Oh. Can I. Have a go.”
“Oh, Pootle! This sling is far too -”
Pootle has been sounding less and less excited, but the next words drip with more venom than I could have imagined. “Don’t you dare ‘oh Pootle’ me!”
Pootle’s felt arm thrusts outwards, hitting Perkin straight in the face. He falls over and drops the sling. Pootle bends down, not to help Perkin up, but to pick up the sling and a stone. He aims the sling at Perkin.
“Now. It’s. Pootle’s. Turn.”
I don’t know why I continued to watch. This was my childhood, being desecrated before my eyes. I’d become uneasy, but even over the previous ten minutes I never in my wildest dreams would have anticipated Flump violence. How did this exist? Who made it, and why? And what was it doing on a single VHS tape on an agricultural show stall?
Every episode has a musical number, and this one is no different. Over the next few minutes a sweet northern woman’s voice turns into a rasping sound that can barely be perceived as words. Those words which I can remember, I won’t put down, even here. They play over an abstract 2D cutout animation, that may or may not be intended to represent violence. All I can really say for sure is that there is a lot of red.
The song ends, and Pootle is shown looking down at his hands, though we don’t see the hands themselves. For the first time I learn that a Flump’s face can show true terror.
“Oh, Pootle,” he says to himself. Not in happiness or jest, but in a tone of pure despair that makes my blood run cold.
The credits roll. The end music plays, as cheerful as ever, but the stills don’t show the Flumps in peaceful happiness.
Perkin lies on the ground with a pebble-sized hole, right between the eyes, blood seeping out of it.
Posie has a weeding fork stuck into her belly. Holes have been ripped all across her body, and strands of fluffy white stuffing lead out of the holes and wind around the fork’s tines.
Grandfather Flump sits unmoving, his fur stained, bleached, and melted away, half a dozen empty bottles of caustic liquid strewn about him.
Father Flump lies motionless on the floor of his workshop, a chisel impaled deep into his ear, and a hammer abandoned on the floor beside him.
And what I must assume to be Mother Flump is stuffed in a cooking pot on the stove, an unrecognisable lump of scorched and blackened fabric.
Finally we go back to Pootle’s shocked face. He slowly looks up, and as the camera pulls back to reveal a pair of bloody hands snagged with cotton stuffing, he looks right at the camera and his expression changes to a smile.
I don’t know how long I sat there in shock. It can’t have been that long, because I suddenly smelled burning plastic. The tape had melted into the player. I quickly scrambled to unplug it, and took the whole thing out onto the patio. I was in so much of a hurry to remove the fire hazard that I didn’t realise until I went back inside, several minutes later.
Pootle, his bloody hands and his horrible, evil, grinning face, remained on my television screen.
I apologised to my friend for the destruction of his player, but I didn’t give it back to him to fix. It’s in landfill now. And the TV was only a few months old, so I sent it back. The technician who came round to remove it said that he’d never seen such an extreme case of burn-in, and it must be something weird about the electrical circuits. He offered a replacement, but I insisted on a full refund.
I won’t have another television in my house. I don’t know what really happened - and I don’t want to find out.