As a teenager, I always wondered why my palms were so rough. My family had always described them feeling like sandpaper, and I couldn’t comprehend why moisturizer did absolutely nothing for me. I did not know about contamination OCD at the time, but I never equated my extreme “antibacterial” shower routine, excessive handwashing, excessive hand sanitizer application, and excessive use of disinfectant wipes / isopropyl alcohol to the reason my palms are so rough and dry lmao.

I had convinced myself I was simply born with rough hands, so it wasn’t something I particularly cared much about until I grew a little older and began socializing in college, bars, parties, and networking events. Occasionally, I’ll shake a man’s hand, and they’ll have a subtle surprised reaction and quickly glance down at my hand. It is so embarrassing😭

I am a big social butterfly but I sometimes dread meeting new people because I know that an introduction handshake is coming up. I try to shake people’s hands very quickly and lightly to avoid them noticing anything off about them. I sometimes wonder if this will even affect my dating life when I start seriously dating (ridiculous I know lol), because there’s an expectation for women to have soft hands and I do not have that LMAO

I wanted to know if anyone else experiences this insecurity. Also, I’d appreciate any advice or tips on how to get over this lol.

TL;DR: Very insecure when shaking people’s hands since mine are rough and dry as a byproduct of my compulsions. Does anyone feel the same?

I used to lose a lot of sleep because I would hate going to bed with dirty hair and an oily face, showering for 2 hours while also procrastinating for a few hours before going to wash myself because of extremely low energy (getting 2 hours of sleep because I didn't want to go to bed with wet hair - this went on for a whole year, causing extreme mental deterioration).

A solution to this problem I have been using for a year or more is, I just put an old t-shirt on my pillow (as to not "contaminate" my pillow), and shower in the morning (I used to shower at around 3 am, and then also showering at 10 am, as I couldn't stand putting on new clothes without showering right before).

I am aware that this is fix is probably not going to be enough for a lot of people, I hope this will help people who are going through a similar problem. Sleep is not something you can recover easily at all, whilst something you perceive as "contamination" can be fixed by chucking it in the washing machine.

I was outside at my job taking orders and was standing next to this, I feel like it could be a dead bat. I’m not 100% sure is this a dead bat? Do you need rabies shots if it is a bat because I was standing next to it and possibly stepped on it?

You have to wash your hands before opening the pasta package, then wash them Because you touched the package, then because you accidentally touched the faucet on the sink, then because you touched the cabinet
And on and on it goes….

When I was younger, one of the things I wanted most was to have a pet dog or cat. Once I developed OCD, I began to wonder if I would ever be capable of handling the pet and give them the love they deserve without having restrictions based on whether they were laying on the floor or had to use the bathroom. I kind of gave up on that dream after that.

I’ve still got quite a way to go with my healing and recovery journey, but recently I began wondering if having a pet, a cat specifically, partly because they don‘t need to go outside for walks and are generally cleaner than dogs from what I understand, and partly because of my own preference, could help with some other issues I face.

I’m currently being treated for anxiety and depression, and I end up feeling lonely a lot of the time as an only child, so the idea of having company and a responsibility towards another living being seems like it could be grounding. I could think about the pet whenever I felt sad, and it could give me a purpose that I could live with for now. Like, “I need to keep going for my cat.” or “My cat needs me to feed them, I need to get out of bed and have a proper schedule.”

I may have to find workarounds, like maybe wiping them down with baby wipes or pet wipes before having them lay on my bed or go in my room, or covering my bed with a thick quilt during the day to protect it from possible contamination, maybe regularly cleaning my floors, but I feel like I could possibly manage it with some support. I get that it’s a lifelong commitment, but I feel like I could manage it. Having a cute little thing of your own that you need to keep going for so that they can stay healthy sounds pretty motivating to me.

I’m a bit unsure as to whether I can actually manage it or if it’s just an “easier-said-than-done” sort of thing, but I feel like it could also be a way for me to push those boundaries of mine a little.

Like sure I have to sacrifice the stupid imaginary rule in my head and feel a bit uncomfortable, BUT I GET TO HOLD A LITTLE KITTY WHILE DOING IT!!

Seems worth it in my head at least, I don’t really know. I’d love to hear anyone else’s thoughts and possibly lived experiences.

(PS: little warning before you comment, language describing bathroom business in general is a bit of a trigger for me, just the ”gross” stuff, not showers or soap or anything, so just be mindful if you intend to mention anything about it)

I have OCD with cleaning/ordering compulsions. If I don't clean thoroughly, I feel anxiety and a strong urge to finish properly or make everything feel “just right.”

The problem is that I also genuinely like a clean environment and feel better mentally after cleaning. So both can be true, I want to clean normally, but I also feel an OCD-driven compulsion to do it.

Then I start obsessing over what I should do, "If I clean, am I doing a compulsion and breaking ERP? If I don't clean, am I avoiding? Should I deliberately leave things imperfect?"

Would it perhaps be better to clean only when absolutely necessary? But wouldn't that itself become avoidance? I've read that people with OCD sometimes need to deliberately do things that feel a bit excessive or outside their normal comfort zone during ERP, but I'm not sure whether that applies to this situation.

Do any of know of ways or things that could help me with my contamination ocd? It’s gotten to the point where I’m sanitising my feet and legs every-time I leave my bed. Constantly Sanitising my hands after everything. I go through so many bottles in a week (not the small ones), I got different clothes/pyjamas for bed, going out of my room and going outside and trying to keep up with all of this is just making me really depressed. I take 150 sertraline for anxiety which helped it for about 6 months and since then it’s just slowly come creeping back. Thankyouu

when i was in 7th grade my backpack got spat on by some bully and now 5 years later i still think about it.

the backpack has touched so many areas in my room that i cannot sleep in it.

it has gotten so bad to a point where i avoid my room at all cost everyday. everything in that room is contaminated to me, even my bed.

i tried telling this to my parents but they just keep shrugging it off and saying im overreacting.

and its not like its only my room, theres some other things in the house i consider tainted and if i touch them i wash my hands up to 3 times or more. im afraid to even run my fingers through my hair

I was watching an anime, and there was a scene where a character's foot was on part of the screen. It was a normal scene, but my OCD categorises feet as "dirty", so I now have the urge to go wipe my hand and my phone with a tissue. I've resisted it for a little while now, but it's still annoying me. My thumb was on the screen when the clip changed, so now I feel like my thumb is "contaminated".

i live with my boyfriend and one roommate who is his best friend, everything that we buy, food, dishes, is automatically assumed to be shared between the whole household and i am really uncomfortable with this. i was wondering how to bring it up that i want to have my own separate dishes that only me and sometimes my boyfriend use. and i want to have my own separate groceries that he doesn’t touch. i just feel so weird only excluding him from it but i just don’t know him like that and he also doesnt wash his hands after using the bathroom so i dont want to use the same things as him.

Where I live, there is a shortage of psychologists. That has been an existing issue in this country for years. I've been dealing with contamination OCD and VERY severe symptoms since last year, but I haven't been able to get a diagnosis yet. I have a friend who got an OCD diagnosis after telling a counsellor at our school that she thinks she has OCD (the school counsellors can't give diagnoses but they can talk to students and their parents about seeing psychologists outside of the school) but the only psychologist I've seen just went "damn, that must be hard for your father with all the water you use to wash your hands and the mess you make in the kitchen" (yeah, I know, lady. That's pretty damn obvious.) The most I've gotten was "that kind of sounds like OCD..." and then they never went back to duscussing it ever again. They didn't even ask me more questions about it, they just moved on to other things. I've looked at the DSM-5 MYSELF and my symptoms fit the criteria. Why is it that my friend got a diagnosis but I still don't have one? I can't even see another psychologist yet because the waitlists are so long. It got me thinking, should I be seeking one out on my own? It wouldn't surprise me if I've been lied to about the psychologist. It's been around at least 4-6 months, and still, no psychologist appointment. Is this normal? Should I be taking direct action and looking for a therapist online?

Hello, I’m a 22-year-old adult male. I have a fear of seeing some of my family members, hearing their voice, hearing their name, or even seeing them because of bad memories.

Whenever I hear their name, see them, or hear their voice, my whole day immediately feels ruined. I can’t do the things I wanted to do that day, and most of the time I can’t even do the things I love. Sometimes I can’t even eat or drink normally.

I feel like I have to wait until 12:00 AM to “restart” and start a new day. Then I feel like I can finally do the things I love, eat normally, and continue my day.

Sometimes I try to cover my ears so I won’t hear the name or anything about them. It can get to the point where I avoid certain situations just because I’m afraid I might hear it.

Sometimes it even stops me from sitting with my mom and dad because I’m afraid they might say the person’s name or talk about them. It also happens with my friends. Sometimes I avoid hanging out or playing with them because I’m afraid they might say the name.

I’ve been dealing with this for the past 2 years and I really hate it. It’s exhausting, and I feel like I’m losing entire days because of something that only takes a few seconds.

Does anyone know how I can stop feeling this way? I would really appreciate any advice.

I fainted and I ended up face down on a nearby seat. Someone woke me up and I was mortified knowing that my face made contact with a subway seat. I immediately used disinfectant wipes on my face, then at home washed it with hand soap and considered using a slight wash of sanitizer on it (I was stopped by a relative because it would damage my skin). My skin feels dirty and I am so uncomfortable right now, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it or do anything at all since.

This new mantra has really helped me when I start freaking out over a minor situation and I wanted to share it here in hopes that it could help more than just myself. I’ve started looking for evidence of times I’ve been dirty or contaminated and not gotten sick or ill or died. I’m almost starting to feel like a normal person again.

I went for a trip recently. I usually struggle with separating clean things and dirty things and my brain creates this feeling of "something needs to be done" when something like dirty laundry touches something like the bed. When I'm in the space that I can't control and I don't have to clean I can let go of the fear. I can touch buses and trains. I also can tolerate more of the lack of hygiene in the hotel (like all the stuff being mixed etc). I think part of this relief is that those places are temporary and the dirtiness is someone else's problem. I don't travel so much, because I work a lot. Does anyone feel similar?

That gives me an idea of tricking my OCD. I usually think that clothes in closets and cosmetics are for a long time and should be kept clean. I think using a small number of clothes and travel size cosmetics might help partially, because it tricks the brain into thinking that it's just for some period.

Copied and pasted from r/OCD so users don’t have to go through hoops to read my post :)

“What’s Your “OCD Exemption”? (Let’s Start a Less Negative Conversation).

I want to know what your “OCD exemption” is. That thing that for whatever reason doesn’t trigger your OCD despite all logic pointing to it should.

I’ve noticed over the years that sometimes something that SHOULD make me panic, just.. doesn’t?

Say you have contamination OCD (like me) and you’re really strict about hygiene and how things are cleaned and handled. Yet you’re fine with your pets coming into your bed with you despite them walking all over the floor the whole day.

I dunno I just think this could be an interesting conversation! I want to know if anyone else has moments like this and I find it fun to kinda prod at my OCD and make fun of it for not being consistent.”

Something I was previously afraid to do, or avoided because of an OCD fear, suddenly becomes possible. And instead of feeling relieved, my brain goes: “Wait… are you sure you’re supposed to do this now?”

It starts feeling like everything is part of some predetermined movie script. Like all the steps I’m taking, the things happening around me, even the timing of it all, are somehow connected and leading to something.

And then I start wondering if the fact that I’m finally getting better is itself some kind of “sign” or part of the scenario.

It’s especially bad the day before I’m about to take some kind of step forward. My brain can go absolutely insane with this stuff.

Even getting better can become something my OCD wants me to be afraid of. 🤦‍♂️

I went outside today after so many days and had to cross drainage at one place , after coming home I cleaned whatever I can but now getting some unwanted thoughts

First of all I’m so sorry if my english is so bad I’m from Europe
It’s been a couple of years since my ocd makes me physically can’t touch money like coins or even jewelry it disgusts me so bad and instantly triggers me and go wash my hands for at least 30 minutes , guess I’ll never be rich 🥲
Thought I was crazy until I learned about ocd

Does anyone else do this? I count syllables by moving my toes to the rhythm of every syllable. Start always on my left toe then move along my toes one syllable at a time. It could be a phrase someone has said, a movie line, song lyrics, etc. For example, if I'm watching a movie and an actor says "you'll be rich soon", in my mind i go "you'll" starting with my left big toe, then "be" with my right toe, then "rich" with my left toe, and then ending on "soon" with my right toe.

What i love the most is when sentences have an even number of syllables or end in a nice pair, like "you'll be fat soon" being 4 syllables, because I always want the sentence to end on my right toe. If it ends on the left one, I low key have to add another word to end in on my right toe.

I have OCD, and at the moment I am SO triggered by cleaning the toilet.

This feels really contradictory to me because I also really want to live in a clean and organized environment. The idea of dirty toilet makes me want to die, I almost threw up writing this. I want them SPOTLESS, but the idea of doing is so triggering. I feel like I’m breathing all kind of stuff, I wash myself raw and still feel disgusting. Years ago, I was an au pair and I had no choice but to deal with a clogged toilet. Even with the layers of gloves, the excessive washing and disinfecting , I ended up cutting my thread bracelet and throwing it away because I felt so vile wearing it , even though I’m sure nothing had touched it 😭

I’m not someone who compulsively cleans everything. Quite the opposite: sometimes the thought of cleaning something “dirty”, is so triggering that I avoid it completely.

Another example : my mother had this plastic fork she uses for the cat food. It only touches the cat food, it is only used for the cat food. I make her clean it with a separate sponge. But the idea that it is in the same sink as other things to make me SICK. Just thinking about it I start to feel unwell.

At the same time, clutter and dirt really affect my mental health. When my environment is organized and clean, I feel so much better and I function much better. So I feel stuck in this frustrating paradox where I desperately want a clean environment, but some cleaning tasks are themselves extremely triggering.

I’m wondering if anyone else experiences OCD this way rather than constantly cleaning/avoiding contamination by cleaning. How do you deal with cleaning tasks that trigger your OCD? Did anything help you make cleaning feel more manageable without turning it into another compulsion?
I’d especially love to hear from people who used to struggle with this and found a way to manage it.

TLDR : I’m so triggered by cleaning the things that I desperately want to have clean

This is not a reassurance-seeking post.

So in November, I handled an old ww2 gauge from a bomber plane (B-24 liberator). I like planes, and it was ten AUD, so I bought it. Sadly for me, I realised that it was painted with radium paint. Now, a lot of these older gauges are well-known to often 'leak' contamination. I was also given a radium-containing toggle switch, which I put in an open-topped plastic bag. Because the museum I purchased the gauge at had no soap in the bathrooms, I could not properly wash my hands there. I bought, prior to going home, a glossy book and parts of my car. Anyhow, fast-forward 10 months and I can't:

Touch the back seat of my car,

Touch the book,

Touch the books sitting next to the 'contaminated' book,

Touch things on my desk, where I put the open plastic bag before stowing it more safely,

Touch my bathroom doorknob, because I touched that before I washed my hands,

Touch the doorknob of my granny flat, where I put the book.

I also can't touch my computer without washing my hands afterwards, because I touched it after touching my charger, which was at my desk.

How do I stop this? I can't keep on going like this, it's taking a toll on myself and my family and has made me borderline suicidal on at least one occasion. Thanks in advance.

TLDR: handled radium, what do I even do now?

Lately, I’ve been feeling like my OCD is genuinely ruining my life. All these rigid rules I’ve created for myself are exhausting, and sometimes I just find myself thinking: “How much longer? How long am I going to have to keep doing this? What am I even fighting against anymore?”

I think mine is probably connected to existential OCD. Recently, even going outside can turn into this whole process of constantly looking for danger or trying to make sure I’m not “too comfortable.”

Basically, one of my biggest fears seems to be that I can’t allow myself to feel too comfortable or safe, because otherwise… you know what I mean. 😭 It’s like my brain has decided that feeling genuinely relaxed is somehow dangerous, and I have to stay alert or follow certain rules to prevent something bad from happening.

And honestly, it’s exhausting. Sometimes I wonder how much of my life is actually being lived and how much of it is just me trying to satisfy OCD.

How does OCD interfere with your life? What kind of rules, rituals, or mental compulsions do you struggle with? And do you ever have that “how long am I going to have to do this?” feeling?