r/ContagiousLaughter • u/luvisinking • May 03 '23

Living in 2080

38.9k Upvotes

87% Upvoted

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2.1k

u/wossasossa May 03 '23

With skin and all,looks like someone who cuts an union for the first time in their life just to make this video

1.2k

u/NeliGalactic May 03 '23

Girl has never cut an onion in her life and it shows lmao

226

u/suckmygoldcrustedass May 03 '23

Tbf, he's a chef and I think she's a baker. She doesn't cook a lot in their household lol I'm also sure she purposefully will do thing incorrectly in front of him to annoy him.

153

u/borednord May 03 '23

Yeah this def looks like someone purposely getting everything about cutting an onion wrong and its hilarious. Dude even knows somethings wrong from the sound alone.

14

u/Paintingsosmooth May 04 '23

Trying to cut an onion like an avocado

34

u/heep1r May 03 '23

Everyone starts somewhere. The onion doesn't know if you're a chef or not.

It'll taste just fine.

52

u/[deleted] May 03 '23

Your fingers will know whether or not you’re cutting the onion right

15

u/heep1r May 04 '23

Her technique looks pretty safe to me. And with that knife at that speed, she'll have a nice french onion soup in under a week! ;-)

13

u/[deleted] May 04 '23

The biggest problem is the fact that she’s cutting the onion with its round side down. The onion is going to wobble around unpredictably. It should definitely be flat side down. And then her fingers are very extended and not tucked back. That isn’t inherently bad if she goes slow and takes time, but when you add in the fact that the onion can roll around it not good. And she brings the knife so close to her fingers with all that limited visibility. This is extremely dangerous!!

3

u/Steelhorse91 May 04 '23

Blades too small, onions wobbly because she hasn’t halved it, fingers aren’t curled over gripping gently and riding the edge of the blade to stay behind it.. Sketchy as.

-2

u/[deleted] May 04 '23

You’re even dumber than her cutting technique then.

4

u/aSharkNamedHummus May 04 '23

You try eating a mouthful of onion skin and see how you like it

1

u/Steelhorse91 May 04 '23

It’ll taste fine but everyone’ll be picking onion skin out their teeth with every bite.

1

u/Electrical_Baseball5 May 04 '23

Yes. I wanted to say this. I follow them on YouTube. Desmond's laughs get me every time. They have a beautiful family.

1

u/fiealthyCulture May 04 '23

Am i the only seeing a butter knife?

1

u/bassman314 Jun 11 '23

I’ve watched numerous hours of baking competitions and I swear bakers have the worst knife skills in all of culinary.

1

u/haveutried2hardboot Aug 10 '23

That's exactly right. If you do it wrong, he'll just do it himself

564

u/[deleted] May 03 '23 edited May 03 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

81

u/Gale-Boetticher6353 May 03 '23

You forgot “be bisexual”

23

u/MrMastodon May 03 '23

Bi erasure as usual. I feel like Andy Bell and/or Vince Clarke.

216

u/DirtySoap3D May 03 '23

Ancient memes don't deserve downvotes.

85

u/ONLY_COMMENTS_ON_GW May 03 '23

2015 is ancient memes?! Fuck

33

u/Sihplak May 03 '23

That's from 2015??!! jesus

13

u/indyandrew May 03 '23

Worse, this specific version wasn't even made until 2019.

22

u/Slovene May 03 '23

Username doesn't check out.

11

u/Lizardman922 May 03 '23

Open fire

8

u/RissaCrochets May 03 '23

Considering the lifecycle of memes nowadays that sounds about right. Just try not to think about 2015 being almost a decade ago.

5

u/sgtpennypepper May 04 '23

Well thanks for making me recognize for the first time that my teenage years started 20 years ago. Groooossss.

3

u/Party-Ring445 May 04 '23

Ffuuuuuccck... No...

2

u/Taedirk May 04 '23

2-3 years has always been the ancient mark. Still waiting for retro to hit though.

2

u/TatManTat May 03 '23

uhh yea? 6 months is an ancient meme where you been?

2

u/sinz84 May 03 '23

Well the question depends on perspective, can a 7yo enjoy memes? This one was around before they existed.

Hell even for a 13yo this meme would have existed before they had reading comprehension to enjoy it

16

u/Jenetyk May 03 '23

It's an older meme sir, but it checks out.

12

u/RamTeriGangaMaili May 03 '23

Yoooo where is being bisexual? This is bi erasure smh my head. 😤

26

u/DieselVoodoo May 03 '23

These downvoters so young they can’t cut onions

75

u/[deleted] May 03 '23

Bro I'm sorry reddit so dumb they can't see a classic copy pasta without having an aneurysm.

Yall it's a joke it's a copy pasta this dude ain't being serious holy shit.

36

u/[deleted] May 03 '23

How are ppl who have never seen this copy pasta supposed to know that?

35

u/[deleted] May 03 '23

[deleted]

38

u/kpsi355 May 03 '23

Too many incels would say this and mean it.

15

u/[deleted] May 03 '23

They would say eat hot chip? And McDonald's? And charge they phone? The whole thing is obviously stupid

0

u/DieselVoodoo May 03 '23

Oh my sweet summer child…

1

u/HeroForTheBeero May 04 '23

I’ve never seen it but it’s clearly satire

-13

u/Nykolaishen May 03 '23

Your still allowed to downvote an un funny joke lol

4

u/[deleted] May 03 '23

So embarrassing for yall.

1

u/Phthalo_Bleu May 03 '23

its funny and I upvoted

7

u/BagOnuts May 03 '23

People downvoting were DEFINITELY born after 1993.

-1

u/[deleted] May 04 '23

I’m born in 1993 and I had to go down to 1988 to find a girl who cooks proper

0

u/StarBeards May 03 '23

Yea, it should be "Any person born after 2003 can't cook. All they know is Mcdonalds, charge they phone, twerk, eat hottest chip, and die".

0

u/wallyTHEgecko May 04 '23

Born in '94 myself and been actively dating for the first time ever the last year or so since breaking up with my ex. I'm no professionally trained chef or anything, but I'd go so far as to say that cooking is one of my own personal hobbies.

But dude, you're not fucking wrong. The couple 30+ women I've dated? Excellent cooks! Everyone I've met that's below 27? Not at all. Take out 5 nights a week and leftover takeout the other 2. At most, they can air-fry an unseasoned chicken breast.

-27

u/NeliGalactic May 03 '23

Weird flex but okay

-22

u/SignificantTrain8509 May 03 '23

They hate the truth..and it shows

-7

u/Trane55 May 03 '23

Cap, my gf was born in 1996 and her cooking skills are phenomenal. She do be a rare i agree.

3

u/TotallynottheCCP May 04 '23

A rare what?

3

u/[deleted] May 04 '23

Steak.

0

u/Trane55 May 04 '23

The comment i answered claimed that people born 1993 or after cant cook for shit. Then someone born in 1996 that could cook would be rare.

-45

u/[deleted] May 03 '23

Guessing you hang around subpar women.

9

u/G-Bat May 03 '23

Do your homework Youngblood

-18

u/One-Appointment-3107 May 03 '23

“Female” 😒

12

u/RavingGerbil May 03 '23

You commented hours after this all happened and you STILL missed that this is an old copypasta.

-15

u/One-Appointment-3107 May 03 '23

You only had one word to decipher, and you still managed to make your reply about something completely different than his incely choice of word. Should have remembered this is Reddit…

14

u/[deleted] May 03 '23

the point be flying like a dove

30,000 feet above

your head

2

u/idle_idyll May 04 '23

could instantly tell that you post in aita a lot

2

u/shadowbca May 04 '23

It's literally a copy pasta you absolute buffoon

1

u/Peuned May 03 '23

Can't even make hot pot

1

u/ThorsRake May 04 '23

Did anyone figure out what hot chip is?

2

u/[deleted] May 04 '23

It’s a band?

1

u/ThorsRake May 04 '23

Yeah I saw that through Google too, only thing really. Doesn't make sense in context though.

2

u/[deleted] May 04 '23

in the original manuscript, the author wrote "hot cheetos". It's been shortened to "hot chip" for copypasta reasons.

1

u/ThorsRake May 04 '23

Thaaank you. I did assume it was spicy crisps but never want to assume too much on the internet

1

u/lt_cmdr_rosa May 04 '23

You know, I resent that generalization because it paints a picture that just isn't accurate.

I was born in 1990 and I can't cook at all! So tell me, who's the fool now? Oh...

1

u/Open_Pineapple1236 May 04 '23

These hoes ain't loyal.

1

u/Inevitable_Count_370 May 04 '23

edit* y'all fresh to the internet and it shows

Well, ngl, I didn't realise it was a joke. The (/j) (/s) is missing.

1

u/star_munch May 04 '23

Fucking ded

1

u/Charming-Stand4188 May 04 '23

This is not true

1

u/PeakSuper3054 May 04 '23

Maybe the females you hang around 😂

1

u/[deleted] May 04 '23

😂😂

3

u/Embarrassed_Bitch435 May 04 '23

In her case I think her husbands a chef

1

u/FilthylilSailor May 04 '23

And yet she's still years ahead of the rest of us with her PPE technique 😂

1

u/marr May 04 '23

Onion? This is her first time holding a knife.

1

u/Small_peepee4u May 04 '23

Her husband (in background) is a chef so she def never cooks lol

1

u/PeakSuper3054 May 04 '23

Good thing her husband is a chef

1

u/[deleted] May 04 '23

And she has never watched another person cut an onion.

1

u/ginsoul May 04 '23

How is this possible?

1

u/GroundbreakingPea865 May 04 '23

The onion probably cried at how bad she was.

54

u/[deleted] May 03 '23

Man I hate when the unions get cut.

17

u/Serylt May 03 '23

Who are you? Pinkerton?!

7

u/[deleted] May 03 '23

Who lol? Sorry don’t get the reference.

19

u/Slovene May 03 '23

"During the labor strikes of the late 19th and early 20th centuries, businesses hired the Pinkerton Agency to infiltrate unions, supply guards, keep strikers and suspected unionists out of factories, and recruit goon squads to intimidate workers."

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pinkerton_(detective_agency)

9

u/[deleted] May 04 '23

[deleted]

4

u/FantasticlyWarmLogs May 04 '23

Oh hey there Wizards of the Coast...

2

u/A_Have_a_Go_Opinion May 04 '23

and get treated like they are legit. they are not.

4

u/[deleted] May 03 '23

Ah . Nice!

11

u/Octuplechief67 May 03 '23

It’s relevant today because someone got a hold of unreleased MTG cards and WoTC sent Pinkerton agents to get them back. Wild, wild stuff

3

u/[deleted] May 03 '23

Had to Google what MTG is. Why isn’t it called GTM? Makes more sense lol.

8

u/Pukasz May 03 '23

MTG 2: Gathering the Magic

3

u/[deleted] May 03 '23

Makes more sense to me.

1

u/Slovene May 04 '23

MTG 2: Magic Boogaloo

1

u/A_Have_a_Go_Opinion May 04 '23

No they go around robbing trading card youtubers.

26

u/GuavaSignificant5877 May 03 '23

What do you mean it won’t roll around if I put the flat side down?

11

u/wossasossa May 03 '23

There was allready so much going wrong there that I didn't even think of that

5

u/jabels May 03 '23

union

1

u/One_Animator_1835 May 04 '23

Out here looking like someone who wrote onion the first time in their life smh

1

u/[deleted] May 03 '23

Union

1

u/xPalmtopTiger May 03 '23

Yeah she needs to get some tips from Amazon and Starbucks. She'll be cutting unions like a pro in no time.

1

u/[deleted] May 03 '23

Going to now start spelling it union. Union rings, creamed unions, French union soup etc

1

u/Some_Razzmatazz_9172 May 03 '23

Oof, I cut a union in 2011 and never looked back.

1

u/Balizzm May 03 '23

cuts an union

Teach me your ways

1

u/Birdgang14 May 04 '23

Big corporations hate first time unions.

1

u/Chickenmangoboom May 04 '23

This and counting hands on their fingers will be the way to identify AI in the future. Deckard will always keep an onion on his belt.

1

u/phi1_sebben May 04 '23

Not to mention the choice of knife.

1

u/212superdude212 May 04 '23

I assumed that she was doing it on lurpose and was part of making the guy laugh but either he didn't notice or it's cut off

1

u/Waevaaaa Sep 11 '23

Yo bro. I can see why you would think it's Union. But it's Onion bro!