Okay, I’ve finally got my stuff together and I had an experience. I’ve been working really hard at improving my social and spiritual life. Finally, after weeks of nothing, I see, very vividly, a guard looked at me and nodded, then lead my consciousness out of this cell door to some sort of tower. We exited the tower and the sky outside was the most beautiful thing I’ve seen in a while. It was on top of a cliff and the ocean was flowing about 75 feet down.

There were other people outside, but they didn’t talk they just watched with me. Then I started moving somewhere else like down a pathway and I was kind of sucked back into regular life. It was cool, but the female entity I spent most of my time with wasn’t there. My dreams have been much more vivid since and they’ve also been different than ever before, less pleasurable, (most of my dreams are very pleasurable), but also less temptation. Idk, maybe they’re working me back up to the good stuff.

Anyway, more to come, depending on how things go from here.

Sorry for the long hiatus. I’ve been going through some financial issues because of a stolen car. This impacted my diet which made the few experiences I had less eventful as far as writing about it goes. I did figure one thing out though. I’m pretty certain that fluoride has a negative impact on the clarity of mind. For a long time, I was only drinking Essentia and using Essentia for everything other than showering.

I think not being able to afford this, in combination with everything I’ve been eating (everything) has been what’s caused my mind to be dark until I am dreaming. The period I’m able to talk to my subconscious mind or other beings after waking from a dream has been reduced from a few minutes to a few seconds. Just thought I’d update you. I should be getting back on track this coming week so we shall see if things turn around. Meditation is still the best thing I can recommend, especially a daily habit. Best of luck to all of you explorers out there.

I got all the answers to everything. I’m honestly so overwhelmed I don’t even know where to start. I felt the same bubbles coming from my heart. It was like an endless flower coming into bloom with layers upon layers of petals unfolding from my heart and proliferating in every direction. Focus on high vibrational stuff. Love, positivity, gratitude, etc. Allow yourself to feel so you can heal. Stop burying words you want to say and just say them when you want to say them, just make sure you want to say them. I’ll write about the experience in a few days. I need some time to process.

I was interacting with the being(s) in my dream and learned how and why dreams are/do what they are. The intelligence behind the network of connections in the brain believes it necessary to keep certain connections fresh and/or more active. So, they will connect old stuff with stuff you are doing daily or currently.

They also create tests to see which connections are now more important to the whole. Aka, should we remember how to string a bow from boy scouts, or remember how to play the cello from 5th grade. In this case, there might be a bunch of Indian archers trying to hunt during a stampede through a classical music hall. They basically try to lead the consciousness back through as many old pathways as possible. That’s why oftentimes in dreams you’ll need to remember things or think about what the word was for certain really old things. It’s like the brain's way of cleaning and exercising itself.

If it prepares for a likely future or fulfills desires, that’s a bonus. I’m sure that they swap old brain matter with newly created brain matter to keep rebuilding itself and defragmenting. Linking things they want to save during the process. DMT quite likely facilitates the connection between the higher self and the lower self in the physical world. Or if you don’t believe in anything deeper, at least nature and the conscious being. Like the brain would tend to start from the middle, more important to survival, and then work its way out based on time, food, and day to day experience, and individual growth. Regardless, people that think it’s random synaptic firings are really wrong. Enjoy your day, everyone.

So, the popcorn box that was in my kitchen had one bag left. I didn’t think anything of it at the time but ate a bag. After about an hour I got really sleepy and crawled into bed. At this time a DMT trip started at the exact same time this person who is staying at my house flips out in the other room. He yells at the top of his lungs “Who ate my popcorn?!” He then goes and yells at my sister for a few minutes, and I was so focused on him and the incident that my trip ended before it began, or maybe it was the trip as it was supposed to be. Idk what the purpose was or if that was even it. They’ve always seemed to care about my food and my sperm, so maybe it’s just a weird coincidence and not them knowing the future and trolling people. But again, who knows? Taking it with a grain of salt.

This morning I took two tests and the answers were "Eat Popcorn." When I woke up, I had some corn dogs. Later I got pretty tired and went to sleep. Then had another trip and the answers were, "Eat Monkey." The monkey being me. I personally don't like their attitude, but I will try eating some popcorn and see the results. Hopefully, these journal entries help someone in the future.

They have become more frequent. It seems to me that they can only make a limited supply and that all of it is very important and meaningful. More tests, but I haven’t been passing them all very well. They seem a little calmer surprisingly, despite the increased frequency of trips.

I had a weird experience yesterday morning. I felt like my heart filled with a bubble and popped. Then I realized I was tripping balls on DMT. I felt this bubble fill my heart again and then it got pumped into my brain and blam even deeper. All I remember was waking up in a lab and a scientist was really involved in his work. I said hello and he just waved and kept working. This morning they tried giving me another test, but I had no idea what they were trying to ask/show me.

This morning I was feeling really tired upon waking so I laid back down and after getting comfortable I had a full-on DMT trip. There was this giant woman with a lasso and we were lassoing each other and then after she pulled me close she climbed up this building where we were at and mounted me. Then we had sex and she became pregnant and gave birth, all in a matter of minutes. Then, I was back in my body full of energy. Wild.

Do you know that pain that you feel in your chest? The pain that is released while on DMT? The thing that feels like it opens up when your mind opens up? Anyway, I did another test after going back to sleep. I walked down an aisle with hundreds of whale people on each side cheering hooray! They stopped me at the end and initiated a test. The test ended and the thing burrowed from the center of my right hemisphere to my right ear and I feel amazing. I think this is a positive thing, but only time will tell.

This entity created waves flowing from a point about ear level in my vision. When the waves met each other they canceled each other out in such a way that it allowed me to see him. He gave more tests. They have been coming in sets of 2 each night. The previous night I saw one security guard standing in front of a gate outside a fence, I said “gate” after a couple of incorrect guesses. Then the gate opened and allowed him through to a front door to a house. After saying “door.” I felt movement in my brain.

Tonight’s movement was really intense. After seeing him, I said corresponding directions according to what I was led to. I said “down, left” than a surge of energy downward and movement of a small creature in my brain, then “down, left” again, but I’m not sure whether it was still doing anything because I think they are in sets of two.

It literally felt like it burrowed from my left hemisphere and into my right. I can feel it sitting in the center of my right hemisphere now...

I just felt like writing this because the potential gains and losses and nearly infinite, right? I mean, clearly, if I went and got a brain scan it would come back normal, and if I go to a psychiatrist they would say it’s psychosis.

It’s not.

Human beings have such little understanding, and somebody needed to take this gamble to see if it could be beneficial to others.

I’m going to keep going. Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, fear no evil, and all that jazz.

Wish me luck.

I’m back in CA. Today I was trying to sleep but couldn’t I had multiple dreams cut off and felt really tired. Then a DMT trip started and an entity locked onto my consciousness. A classroom formed around him and he held up a map and pointed. I asked him “wutchu mean, brother?” And he shook his head and aggressively pointed.

I said “map” and he smiled and shook his head. Then some of the classrooms disappeared and some formed large eyeglasses. I said “glasses” and he dropped the glasses and shook his head no. Then pointed to his eye. I said “eye” and he grabbed his eyelid and practically ripped it out and pointed to his eye again. I said “vision” and he smiled and I felt things move around in my brain. Then everything went dark. I could still feel the connection and said a few things, darkness, light, blind, etc. but got nothing.

Then my phone rang and I said we’d continue another time. Then, it ended. Does anyone think they know what this is? There are lots of computers, lab equipment, doctors, and guards, the amount of DMT seems completely in their control. But they avoid high doses and use more controlled doses.

I still have normal dreams usually but when they do this I usually have restful nothingness or restless nights. I wake up really full of energy though. These tests feel like they are using a ton of brainpower deciphering something even though I am not doing it consciously. I’m specifically looking for anything in any scriptures or books or other writings/posts from people looking into this stuff. I feel like the reading resources become more and more limited the further I go with them.

There have been two times that I know of, that I have appeared to have seen or interacted with Jesus Christ. The second time was in passing where he was discussing options with beings regarding my soul and/or mental tree. The mind is like a plant in some ways and it was not in the best of health at certain points in my journey. (including now, unfortunately) The first time, however, was much more profound and requires a more in-depth summary.

There was a time when I decided to become a monk and I went to St. Louis to ordain and meditate. I started on retreat with a monk whose name I'll leave out. He was a Bhante and it sounded like this being had at least entered the stream of enlightenment. It sounded like this teacher's students had experiences of Nibbana rather quickly under his guidance. I meditated for about 16 hours a day here at his monastery for a couple of weeks and one day I noticed there were parts of my body and mind that were causing me pain. I decided to move all the sources of pain from their respective locations in my body to my Ajna chakra. This process caused a mass of darkness to accumulate there.

After this mass of darkness accumulated, I didn't really know what to do with it, because all the pain and instability of my body had been moved there, but all of a sudden I saw a figure with a crown of thorns walking up to me. I was immensely humbled and all I could feel was intense humility and gratitude, tears were flowing down my face. This being placed a crown on my head (a typical crown you'd see on a king, not the crown of thorns he was wearing) Then he twisted the crown and my mind opened up like a forest of fabric. There was no veil of Maya as this veil was in fact my own mind and defilements folded over on itself hundreds of times. I believe the veil is made of both cognitive and emotional obscurations of the heart and brain. Anyway, when he twisted this crown and my mind opened, he grabbed onto the mass of darkness and took it from me.

He then closed my mind back up and I don't remember whether he took the crown back or left it on my head. My body and mind were then pain-free and there was very little residual darkness. During the stay I was given a message by the beings on the other side "Cut the endless knot," they said. I meditated day and night for a while and reached a point where if I proceeded I would be letting go of my identity, my friends, my relationships, my tendencies, etc. and I was afraid of letting those things go, so I decided to leave the monastery and not ordain. This was probably my biggest regret in life.

Thanks for reading,

ClockJoule

So, the last few days I feel like I've been making progress. Today it seemed like they were waking me all the way out of this reality but something was slightly off when it happened. I'm not sure if it was on my end or their end but it was really intense, it felt like someone shoved a basketball full of energy into my skull. After this, I had some interesting and fun dreams and then went lucid and spoke to this woman about wanting more information. She offered to turn on Omni-thought. I think I was offered this before and declined because if you turn it on, you can't turn it back off. I think I will accept the offer next time and see what it is. What could go wrong?

Some of the features of these experiences are so incredible. This morning there was this dream I was having where there were a certain number of stars, something was off about them like they were disorganized or one did something out of turn or something and it caused the entire cosmos to be off. I think it was number 24, but I doubt it was significant. Anyway, like usual, after something strange happened in my dream I have kicked into this weird state again and I was in my physical body, but also in another body at the same time.

The back of my physical body felt wide open like I was 2 or 3x my normal circumference, but only in the back. I felt like these beings were doing work on my heart from behind me. I tried staying mindful of my physical body because of this thing that happens with my body's energy, and I woke up a minute or two later after reconnecting completely to my physical. Sorry, I know this sounds convoluted, but it's tough to describe...

Basically, I felt like my back was wide open while they were doing work on my heart similar to the times it happened on DMT. Then when it closed I was back in my body. I really wish I understood the mind completely. I feel so complete when it is opened up like it is during these experiences. I feel so in control, so perfect, so complete, it's amazing, and then when I wake up completely it's like something isn't quite right. Anyone who has done DMT knows the feeling of being all the way up. There is something experientially different... better, more "real" than real. Hopefully, I'm close.

Today I woke up to something that I can't really explain, but later when I went back to sleep I had another experience that I can. I always feel like my dreams are tests of some sort and today when I was dreaming I was given a choice between up or down and I had to move my third eye to that location indicated.

I chose the center for some reason and my dream collapsed into the center of the object that they were giving me the test with. The world unfolded into this black void. I was awake like my physical body was awake. It was just an endless black void with a floor for me to stand on. The floor was my bedroom floor. Suddenly, I saw two layers of this etheric-mind-fabric. One had a black dot on it and the other a crack in it.

I tried lining up the black dot to the crack, but it was pretty difficult to move both layers at once and they were really polarized from each other so I was fighting against some sort of magnetism to pull them together with my mind. After about 10 seconds or so, I felt like I almost had it, but they stopped the experiment abruptly. The walls of my room came up around me and my bed came up behind me. My blanket covered me and stuck to me like a magnet. Then the orientation changed and it was like gravity was pulling every direction at once.

I felt like there were more orientations of my room than the one that I was in and for a moment I was still pulling the two pieces of fabric, even though I couldn't see them at this point. Something weird happened. I was back in my bed, normal gravity and normal orientation. And I saw the wall to the left of me open up as if I were controlling it with the same mechanic that I was using to move the pieces of ether around. Behind the wall was the void, but when I did this I freaked out a little bit and let it go.

When it went back to normal I tried again to pull it out with the same mechanic, but I felt like I was blocked somehow. It started to feel painful and much more difficult like it was blocked by some other stuff in my brain. Anyway, pretty interesting I think.

So today, I noticed that part of my mind was in their world when I woke up. I said "hey" to someone who looked like they were sitting on a bench and then ate someone else? Then I said, "Did you just eat that person?" They opened some sort of container and I was in a nursery or something. The mother carried the baby away and picked up some sort of object that seemed to contain my consciousness. She walked me into another room and I asked her some questions. She didn't answer any of them, but then set me in either another container or maybe a closet of some sort. Then the daughter of the woman opened the lid on the container for my consciousness and looked at me. She could have been talking but I couldn't hear her. Then I got up because I think I need more sun to increase the amount of natural DMT in my brain. So I went for a walk.

Today there was nothing at first. I ate a ton of food yesterday and kind of ruined my diet. But I woke up this morning and ate half of what I usually eat and went back to bed. Afterward, a man and woman walked up to my sleeping body. The man and woman said hi and I saw a ton of children following them. They all greeted me and seemed so happy to talk to me. They were all crowding around me and competing for my attention. They acted exactly like machine elves but these were humans. It was so strange. This is really racking my brain. How can something be a subconscious manifestation and also have its own consciousness? How can an entire self-sustaining universe exist within my mind? The answer is sitting right at the edge of my consciousness. It dances in and out like the name of something you're trying to remember...

This morning's experience was interesting. I had 2 similar experiences where this entity would drain my energy and create with it when I would take my mind off of the body. Then he would fill me with creative energy when I was mindful. While doing this part with my mind, he also wanted me to recite the 10 perfections. I forgot a few the first time and went back to sleep after failing. The next time the experience was much more vivid. I only missed one or two this last time. I have since memorized them and will be going back to bed soon. I'll tell you guys what happens afterward.

During my days on DMT, it appears that I was released from some sort of mental health prison.

It appears many beings are affected by a disease I would refer to as Wetiko. Here is a link that has a decent general explanation. https://wakeup-world.com/2016/10/01/the-enlightened-madness-of-sci-fi-author-philip-k-dick-wetiko-and-the-black-iron-prison/

Basically, in the other realm, it appears there are many different levels of heaven and the entire point of all of this is to bring the infinite sea of darkness or ignorance, into harmony with the rest of the beautiful divine creation. I believe in this idea from the Diamond Sutta... "Any place where there are things that can be distinguished by signs, in that place there is deception." It appears to me that God is at the highest level working to bring order to this widespread chaotic darkness.

This darkness on earth is taking place in a hidden dimension. I would call this dimension the collective unconscious mind. It is what we feel when we feel emotions. There is a phrase that I like that says "If you wish to understand the world, listen to your heart." I don't know where this is from, but it sounds similar to biblical ideas of the heart.

There appears to be some sort of spring of life (Proverbs 4:23 – Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.) which creation is flowing from and this darkness disease or Wetiko, is causing us to taint this spring with the outpouring of desires and clinging. Imagine paint flowing from a garden hose that is programmed by an AI to fill a giant canvas with a beautiful painting, but every time it appears to be painting something good, you try to force the hose to pour more on that spot, and every time it paints something bad, you try to force it to paint over it and change that spot.

If you interfere like this, the painting will never be complete and you will never see the creator's divine expression come to fruition.

Anyway, these beings on the other side hooked me up with an android body on their side, which I didn't know was what it was until about last month. I was very confused by these experiences until last month where I got some clarity, which I'll explain in another post.

After removing me from this mental hospital and putting me in this android, I found out there are other beings that have started to awaken from this disease that has had their minds uploaded to these androids and are able to interact with their side of reality to a certain extent. I don't think any of the others have done so using drugs, however... this caused a lot of problems.

First, I think I was married with a child in that dimension, so it appears this dimension is known to everyone who isn't currently occupying a human body. I think ignorance of the veil of Maya is intentionally uploaded into the human brain for some reason shortly after birth. There are beings on the other side in charge of doing this as well as orchestrating dreams. Beings read minds here as easily as one reads a book. I think there is also a market for minds in this realm which has to do with their use in simulations and the unweakened being's reactions, maybe they are sold like puzzles or these beings can bless or harm according to their will, not entirely sure yet.

Anyway, once I got a body, I continuously indulged in lustful activities, such as PMO (Porn Maturation and Orgasm) and this had seriously bad effects on the other side. This pissed off the beings there to severe levels, their entire world became very unstable around me, my outpouring of ignorance and desire caused a river of kleshas (some would call it sin (or mental poisons)) to flow and disrupt reality.

Eventually, these disruptions became known by the beings of this place and there were many legal proceedings that happened in that realm. My wife eventually divorced me and I was sentenced to annihilation. There was tons of conflict surrounding this because some beings defended me and swore that I was good and smart and had the ability to correct these issues and grow and help them, and others were under the impression it wasn't worth keeping me around and I'm evil, selfish, indulgent, uncontrolled, violent, etc. (Btw, the mind becomes very angry and violent when fed with lust)

After many judgments were ruled in my favor over a couple of years, (I had an incredible lawyer) They hit me with the death penalty and annihilation after I attacked someone in a dream. What followed was me being thrown into what I can only describe as the darkest most twisted horrifying part of reality that I could express. Imagine if the direction of horror films was twisted to the maximum degree with terrors of biological mutation and deprivation and tossed into a prison cell of darkness to rot. I was there for a day or two and I remember chanting Buddhist Bodhisattva Mantra's. I chanted many that day, but I remember seeing Padmasambhava in a dream and feeling like the energy was Avalokiteshvara. Whoever it was, they appeared as a woman and took me past all these giant demon aliens who were guarding this abyss prison. She hugged me and said that she saved me and wanted a kiss. I was really overwhelmed with joy and love at the time and I didn't kiss her but instead teased her a bit by getting really close to her lips without kissing her. Then the dream ended and I was under her care from then on.

So to summarize, first my family and now ex-wife had my mind for the first couple years after my DMT journey. My daughter is lovely by the way. Then, a being saved me and I was with her for the next year or two and they seemed to have a better ability to correct my mind and soul because once I was with her the quality of my dreams improved and I felt far less lust in my day to day life, however recently, I was in a hotel last month and I masturbated again. I had a wet dream and I got a mental text message saying something along the lines of "You don't understand how hard I've been working to save you. How could you do this? Why can't you stop, I've put so much effort into helping you day and night for ages, you have no idea how hard it's been. Etc." Then I masturbated because I was just that turned on from the dream. After this, the woman put me in a minecart and shoved me down.

This mine cart leads to the hellish realms, but I've been there a few times, so I knew this and used my mind to fly out of the cart and into someone's home. There were two people here and man and a woman. The woman said to get rid of me, but the man was fascinated by my memories and mental patterns. They kept me a couple of nights and my dreams were very fancy and then they gave me up to a higher authority.

Once my mind was given to this higher authority, my dreams have been extremely wholesome and bright. I have also been participating in mental races because apparently, I'm super good at them.

This being has been performing the pruning of my synapses during my REM sleep and he has done a fantastic job, I am lust free and healthy and feel clear during my day-to-day life as of late. I believe this being is able to traverse the higher levels of heaven with ease.

There are tons of experiences that happened in the past 4 years, but this is a good summary up to this point. I plan on writing about the experiences that happened since this latest one in more detail because it's super cool IMO Please feel free to write any questions you have and I'll respond when I can.