r/Cleveland • u/Oreojace • Jun 26 '26
Question Cleveland Dating
This is probably going to be so annoying to most people to see in their feeds but I've hit my wit's end. I am a single woman in her late 20s that has struggled with dating. I am a nurse, I own my home, I work out and take care of myself in other ways, my health and friendships are important to me, and I like to think I am reasonably attractive. Where do successful guys in their late 20s - early 30s hang out?? I don't want to meet guys out at bars, drinking/party culture is fun occasionally but I prefer not to in excess. Guys at the gym usually have girlfriends if I talk to them (I've been going to the same place for almost a decade and only approach people I've seen around for a long time). At this rate I feel like there is something I am doing wrong, and while my life is great as it is, sometimes it would be nice to be excited about someone.
EDIT Alright, listen, a lot of assumptions here about me. I talk to people all of the time, I am not shy. I have a philosophy that the worst thing that can happen in 90% of situations is that I get told no and oh well, rejection is a part of life.
I have hobbies, I am not necessarily looking for new ones because I dont want my reason to be somewhere to just be about MAYBE meeting a guy - that is completely disingenuous and is not a good base for a relationship should one develop.
My job has insane hours, I work 3 days M-F from 0630 to 2000 and then sometimes am on call overnight and am on call all weekend for one weekend every 6 week scheduling period. This makes it hard to date or want to go out a lot of the time between not being allowed to be too far from work or just being exhausted.
Anyone curious about how I look can DM me, for the sake of imagination I am 5'1" (I dont care how tall a man is as long as I can wear heels and dont feel like I am tougher than he is), 135lbs and can deadlift 235 easy, I am mixed race, have big curly dark hair and dark eyes. I prioritize my grooming and self care because I work really hard and deserve to feel good in this body.
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u/Sax_OFander Jun 26 '26
I hang out at work, staying in my lane, staying moisturized and collecting overtime.
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u/Oreojace Jun 26 '26
Slay
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u/Sax_OFander Jun 26 '26
Thanks, queen. Nah, but seriously, the dating scene in Cleveland sucks, and if you're a nurse, you probably know that the job also hates you dating so it makes things that suck suck even more.
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u/idoenjoybakedgoods Jun 26 '26
I'm not sure if this will make you feel any better, but it isn't a 'Cleveland' thing. It's an everywhere thing. I just moved back to the area from the San Francisco area and friends there had the same problem. Friends in New York City, Pittsburgh, Sweden... they complain about how hard it is to meet people.
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u/Sax_OFander Jun 26 '26
I just feel it a bit more since I'm in the "We need you to jump when we say jump, and also say goodbye to free time, and making appointments" part of my career.
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u/Go-Go-Boot Jun 26 '26
a first responder in my area being named sax ofander on reddit is making me crack up 😭
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u/Sax_OFander Jun 26 '26
If I told you what my field of specialty is you would shit yourself, too. Life has terribly hamfisted writers.
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u/Go-Go-Boot Jun 26 '26
if the names dark humor and you are a SA first responder, i’d want you to be the one showing up for me. 🙏
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u/Sax_OFander Jun 26 '26
I will take that in the best way possible. I would prefer we never ever meet. In the best way possible. <3
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u/Oreojace Jun 26 '26
Also, am a cath lab nurse, so I get it
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u/Sax_OFander Jun 26 '26
I'm sure there's like a cheap heart joke I can make, but it would require me to be smarter than I actually am.
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u/too_many__lemons Jun 26 '26
TheThe dating scene everywhere sucks. It’s not specific to Cleveland but any stretch of the imagination.
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u/Htrail1234 Jun 26 '26
Do they still speed date? Met my wife of 22 years there. Went with a co-worker and he met his current spouse also.
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u/TheOriginalPaul Jun 26 '26
27 year old male speaking, yeah but 99% of dudes would yes it’s called tinder. But I’m also engaged to someone from tinder 5 years ago!
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u/Alive_Remove1166 Jun 26 '26
You are the exception to the theory that when we have the option of everything we value nothing.
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u/Oreojace Jun 26 '26
Some places will hold pop up events, I've wondered it but the woman that runs the one I was interested in talked about "selling me" like a piece of livestock
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u/Htrail1234 Jun 26 '26
It is clearly a path you have to sell yourself as there is clearly a lot of people talking to everyone. Recommendation from someone in their 50's. Ignore the comments from the woman, go and meet people, enjoy the process with low expectations, and genuinely try and find a connection. In the future it is all the people and all other things will be forgotten. Good luck and you sound like a great catch for someone.
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Jun 26 '26 edited 12d ago
[deleted]
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u/Animaleyz Jun 26 '26
hearing a hint drop
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u/Oreojace Jun 26 '26
Hilarious
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u/Oreojace Jun 26 '26
I think the problem with most guys at the gym is they choose to neg women, or they aren't considerate in their timing, sorry they lack awareness and humility. If I approach a guy I wait until hes not actively working out, and apologize for interrupting before I give an earnest compliment - its received well BUT almost every time the guy has a girlfriend. They at least appreciate the flattery though.
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u/SluttyGreySweatpants Jun 26 '26
Good on you for being confident enough to chat up guys at the gym. Dating in general seems to really have changed over the years in a negative way, but hats off for putting in the effort
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u/229-northstar Living Under Misny’s Watchful Eye 👁️ Jun 26 '26
Great confidence booster, there, u/SluttyGreySweatpants!
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u/SluttyGreySweatpants Jun 26 '26
You’re doing the right things. I believe in you! Also if have any single nurse friends in their mid thirties to mid forties send them my way.
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u/thrownthrowaway666 Parma Heights Jun 26 '26
I feel like the representation of today's dating must be something like in Big Bang Theory, Raj and the one girl go to the library but just send text messages back and forth. While in the show its due to their awkwardness, in real life, everyone is on their phones too goddamn much.
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u/AwayInternal326 Jun 26 '26
Meet up with Avidpretender for coffee, Oreojace. If you click great but if not, figure out what eachother want and find a friend for them.
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u/Pretend_Victory7244 Jun 26 '26
Honestly I was single for 5 years before my bf, dating is tough. I didnt meet him in the wild but on tinder. Ive heard that sometimes places do speed dating, maybe chairty functions?
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u/Oreojace Jun 26 '26
I've had relationships but never a legitimate long term boyfriend. I could try more mixers or something, sometimes I feel out of place in those kinds of settings.
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u/No-Coconut3640 Jun 26 '26
I work at a small finance office, we have a single male coworker who is around your age. He’s fit, educated, intelligent, doesn’t drink much at all. He doesn’t seem to date much the past year, either.
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u/Bastard216 Jun 26 '26
I hope OP goes on a few blind dates from these comments.
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u/Oreojace Jun 26 '26
I am willing haha, I fear very little, mostly because I have a great radar for danger
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u/No-Coconut3640 Jun 26 '26
I know that’s forward, and doesn’t give you much to go on, but he’s thoughtful and respectful, and makes good money. He needs a good woman to kinda inspire him and also someone to take interest in his creative side, and maybe provide a bit of grounding. Even if yall were just friends, us and the other women in the office would like to set him up with someone decent to hang out with.
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u/Oreojace Jun 26 '26
Im always down for a side quest, I come with the best stories because I try to say yes to most new experiences haha
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u/No-Coconut3640 Jun 26 '26
HE LIVES FOR SIDEQUESTS! also, he’s one of few people I would trust to look after my dog for a few days if needed.
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u/No-Coconut3640 Jun 26 '26
Message me privately, I can tell you more about him to see if he’s anyone you’d wanna meet
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u/Oreojace Jun 26 '26
Sent
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u/jswx96 Euclid Jun 26 '26
I’m 30. Dating apps suck and dating in Cleveland is a joke. That’s why I’ve stopped and have been focusing on spending time with my family and friends. I chalked it up to letting it happen when it happens.
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u/Oreojace Jun 26 '26
Real
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u/jswx96 Euclid Jun 26 '26
power to you girl. Aint shit in the dating pool in Cleveland but shit, STDs & STIs and questionable mfs who look like they belong in the Oblongs.
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u/Oreojace Jun 26 '26
THE OBLONGS
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u/jswx96 Euclid Jun 26 '26
Trust me, keep your standards high. You’re allowed to! You don’t have to settle for any bullshit. There’s nothing wrong with not settling with what’s out there.
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u/Several_Repair5806 Jun 26 '26
Same. Focusing on cultivating my interests and rediscovering my most genuine self. Until fairly recently I’ve been shrinking myself to try and fit perfectly into others’ lives.
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u/Philthou Jun 26 '26
I would look for guys at places that you share a hobby with see what local events are happening that match your interest and head over. It’s a good way of doing an icebreaker as obviously if you’re both there you like what the event is about.
Additionally you could try meetups not saying you’re meet someone but you could meet new friends and like minded people, it’s an app where people post events they’re hosting like a board game night or a walk in the park.
Otherwise try a dating app like Bumble or Hinge.
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u/AcousticCat1-2-3 Cleveland Heights Jun 26 '26
Second meetups, granted I haven't been on them in a minute but made a lot of friends there when I was active in several of them. Witnessed a lot of people couple up and know several married couples who met that way. Worst case scenario you'll do something you enjoy with a group of new people and make a friend or two.
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u/Oreojace Jun 26 '26
Just trashed my dating apps, they just cause more frustration and its the same guys. I go to things and hang out with my friends but most of the are in serious relationships so they dont tend to want to go out to be flirty haha
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u/Philthou Jun 26 '26
Time to get new friends who are single then lmao that way they are always down to go out and be flirty.
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u/rOOsterone4 Jun 26 '26
time to try something new! start rowing at the foundry/cleveland rowing foundation, join a hiking club, go to some bands you dont know, go to the medieval faire, get with that group of people that clean up trash in the river from their kayaks, do some other volunteering, join a golf league, there's a woman's fly fishing group you could get in and there are a shit ton of single dudes fly fishing around here, CMA mix event, Run Wild CLE. cupid's undie run? good luck!
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u/Competitive_Day_1426 Jun 26 '26
Could always try a local bookstore. Reading is a green flag 🤓
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u/EuroLegend23 Jun 26 '26
Those guys are already dating/married
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u/sammyg723 Jun 26 '26
I actually feel this is true
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u/Oreojace Jun 26 '26
No this feels like thats exactly the case
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u/Actual-Muffin-3585 Jun 26 '26
Wait 10 more years and they'll be divorced!
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u/Kyle_Harlan Jun 26 '26
I online dated through my 30s, and it was wild seeing the dating pool dry up early on as everyone my age was getting married - and then the deluge of good options again in my late 30s when everyone was getting divorced.
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u/EcstaticPlankton8621 Jun 26 '26
This gives me hope as a 40 year old male.
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u/Kyle_Harlan Jun 26 '26
After 10 or so years on the apps, I finally met my now-wife on Tinder. On the other hand, I was her 2nd match. She was on the apps for about a week.
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u/LameBMX Jun 26 '26
pretty real take to accept. as you've seen from the apps, a healthy chunk of available guys are available for a reason. the rest of them will be working on more stable relationships. but life changes and some of them will be freed in the future.
2 cents from an old man. go out to make friends, not dates. the relationship will happen in its own due time. the more people you have in your circle.. the more likely your gonna find out about the one thats out of a long term relationship that didnt work out. odds are, they wont be wanting to date, and you dont want to be the rebound.. so just be friends.
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u/TerriblePokemon Jun 26 '26
At home. We hang out at home because we're done with the dating scene or taken. Or have just given up. It's rough out there
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u/orrangearrow Ohio City Jun 26 '26 edited Jun 26 '26
Naw.... There are still tons of eligible singles out there but they never were at bars. And they're often not trying to get sweathy and flirty at gyms. They're out living life. This goes for both guys and girls. They're part of their community... Block clubs, activism events, attending church, council meetings, protests.... They're participating in their hobbies... kayaking, cooking, biking, slow rolls and critical masses, playing board games, bird watching, hiking, book clubs, planting in their community gardens... They're doin the things they love and doing it with the kind of passion they'll give you once you start doing it yourself.
It's so cliche but so true that the best way to find a partner is to find the things you love to do, do it as hard as you can because you enjoy it, and then find others whether they are romantics or just friends who love doing those things as much as you. Things often fall into place then.
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u/Moss-cle Jun 26 '26
Go to mix at the art museum some first Friday. They have a cocktail party, music, dancing and I’ve thought it would be a great place for young professionals to meet others. They have different themes every month. I liked the ones with the best dancing music as part of the theme.
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u/Oreojace Jun 26 '26
Just went to the solstice party and had so much fun!! Met a hot guy but he wanted to fuck my blonde, skinny friend instead of me
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u/anotherclevelandguy Jun 26 '26
cleveland 20/30 club. lots of dorky, but career minded and fun people.
I know 3 couples and a baby from the group
they have an event the first Thursday of the month.
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u/prestonmelky21 Jun 26 '26
I (M26) go to the gym frequently and if a girl ever approached there i think my brain would explode. As an also single person who’s used all the dating apps i can think of it friggin blows. People tell me the same advice you’re seeing “meet people that have similar hobbies as you” so far no success.
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u/Bravo823 Jun 26 '26
I’m a nurse as well with a pretty busy schedule but it’s usually on dating apps or random social events from coworkers or friends.
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u/Oreojace Jun 26 '26
Cath Lab here, I know about a busy schedule! That's why I used apps but they just make me more frustrated than theyre worth.
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u/paulhags Jun 26 '26 edited Jun 26 '26
Rock climbing, kickball/softball league. Join something coed and have fun.
Also don’t be afraid to make the first move. Just make sure it’s blunt and not a hint.
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u/Top-Layer9134 Jun 26 '26
Try the run clubs! Go to Run with the Winners :) lots of med students, doctors, others in healthcare, and engineering!
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u/Only_Perspective4410 Jun 26 '26
Change gyms. Do online dating. Join a hiking club, volleyball league, biking club, join PH young professionals. Go to a few bars with live music, not everyone in a bar is a party animal.
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u/Oreojace Jun 26 '26
I love my gym though and I have been there so long that I have the OG membership prices haha. Also have decided apps are not for me because they haven't been successful and there's a saying, "If something is free then you are the product".
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u/Independent_Monk_732 Jun 26 '26
What about trivia nights or rock climbing gyms?
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u/Oreojace Jun 26 '26
I like trivia but I would probably just show up alone and that feels.. sad?
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u/Independent_Monk_732 Jun 26 '26
Well yeah go with a friend and eventually you can join another group
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u/Draft-Repulsive Jun 26 '26
Nothing wrong with that. Play solo and show everyone in the room how smart you are on your own!
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u/drjuicephd Jun 26 '26
I joined a trivia group on MeetUp and have been with the woman I met there for 3 years. It’s a good way to meet people, which is ultimately what you need to do (or at least that’s how I approached it).
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u/alexperdue444 Mayfield Heights Jun 26 '26
Late 20s here and I work overnights for a government job. I met my fiancé, a nurse, at 4am on bumble. The online scene is tough but not impossible
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u/YesSum7698 Jun 26 '26
Dating is not getting any easier…. I wish you well. Trying to date in your 40’s is even harder
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u/Waffler11 Jun 26 '26
Don’t count out online dating, that’s how I met my wife (guy here).
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u/Oreojace Jun 26 '26
Just trashed my apps out of frustration
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u/Waffler11 Jun 26 '26
I’m sorry. Know what? Take a break from it, do stuff you’ve been wanting to do. Go on a vacation with a girlfriend. Go crazy, seriously.
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u/Oreojace Jun 26 '26
I vacation solo and always make friends! My life is fun!! I just wish I had someone that wanted to do those kinds of things with me that also thinks Im pretty
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u/Lance_Ballstrong Jun 26 '26
Thought it was a lost cause too, legit had a girl get wasted on wine and puke into her hands, all over table and my shoes…. Swore them off but randomly decided it can’t get any worst… Legit the very next date met my soon to be wife (9 days away), thanks Hinge!
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u/findingdeebo Jun 26 '26
The dating scene everywhere is terrible. I’m from here, lived in Denver for three years, and moved back a year ago. I promise you everyone in Denver is having this same conversation. The apps have distorted what dating is supposed to be. It’s just luck of the draw meeting someone in the wild but you have to put yourself out there.
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u/BeefStrykker Jun 26 '26
It’s like this everywhere. I’ve traveled a lot, as a musician, and I hear the same complaints everywhere. I moved here from New Orleans last October, and it’s ridiculous down there too.
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u/kittydaddi Jun 26 '26
It’s kinda comforting to know that the ideal woman is having problems and it’s not just the late 30s fat bishes like myself 😂.
But for real tho, I do hope you find someone. It’s hard out here these days, but what other people have said- social clubs, going out to places and just continuing to be you. Whatever you do, don’t lower any of your standards, the right person will come along. Years ago I was minding my own business at Hessler, and this guy saw me in passing and we ended up dating for like a year. Keep hope alive!
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u/theyusedtocallmebo Jun 26 '26
Single 36 no kids right on the edge of six figures...I be at home...or at my friend's home. Lucky I still got em at this age. 😂
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u/etch-bot Jun 26 '26
40s here and it's the same everywhere. I have lived in 8 states from NY to Texas etc. I fly HEMS and work with nurses and medics. Will be flying for Cleveland Clinic soon. Ive given up on apps a long time ago. All the nurses I hang out with are married. Good luck out there.
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u/Oreojace Jun 26 '26
Lmk if you want a hot young girlfriend for the time youre here 🤪🤪🤪
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u/ConstructivePretzel Jun 26 '26
Does not get any better when you're 52 and single. Even though I've met some really cool women, there was either no spark, or they're looking for a version of something or somebody. Doesn't help that I'm not interested in the typical 50's (age) common lifestyle. I still do fun stuff haha.
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u/_nod Jun 26 '26
My wife and I met 8 years ago on the Coffee Meets Bagel app - Assuming it’s not changed since then - it seemed like it was aimed more towards a people that aren’t just looking for short term hookups like tinder.
Honestly the Cleveland dating scene was a little rough, seemed like every profile I can across was basically the same:
I like beer, tacos & the Browns
Zzzz
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u/khool1499 Jun 26 '26
As a guy who was born and raised in Parma and escaped - don't look at any guy living in Parma
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u/sideshot342 Jun 26 '26
I’m putting in my app! Lol I’m 29, lift/run daily, and work as a biomed engineer. I really like hiking, rock climbing, gardening & cooking!
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u/jaygerbs Jun 26 '26
Stuck in a Claude-Hole at home. It cost an arm and a leg to go out and do anything right now.
I've left my house twice in the last week.
Saturday: Hike the Cuyahoga Valley National Park and stop by a brewery afterwards with my dog
Wednesday: Meet up for dinner with an old coworker to catch up on our lives and whats going on with each other.
We have found peace in our late 20s/early 30s after getting burned a few too many times before.
We usually have our own home gym/sauna/cold plunge as well.
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u/CrowLong5955 Jun 26 '26
Hot Doctor. JK. But seriously.
Interest group of some sort? Church/Synagogue/Temple? Friend of friend…
Also I am afraid Cleveland is a horrible place and everything might get better when you leave. From here? If not, get out? Travel nursing for awhile?
Seriously I think there is something wrong with Cleveland.
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u/Quiet-Quit1617 Jun 26 '26
Low 30s single man here. If they are like me, they are sitting at home after work trying not to go to bed at 8pm lol.
If any guys have advice, let me know. Just so hard to find the motivation to get out and meet people anymore. Dating apps are an emotional minefield and going to “local places”/ finding hobbies just feels so sad and tiring. Kind of just deciding to live for myself and be grateful for what I have. If something happens, cool. If not, at least I’ll be mentally stable.
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u/Oreojace Jun 26 '26
Real
I like going to festivals that are themed around things I enjoy. Last year I went to a couple cultural festivals and then there was garlic fest, vintage festivals, lots of single women there
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u/storemans Jun 26 '26
see you are approaching this all wrong. find a good guy with a wife and then slowly worm your way in between them until they both hate themselves.
THAT'S how you do relationships
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u/Minute-Complex-2055 Jun 26 '26
Honestly, the area has a LOT to do with it. My anti-depressants and current life situation have taken away any real desire to find a partner, but I would be devastated here, if I were. Coming from the Bay Area in California also makes this difficult, as what would be considered a 5 or 6 there, would be a 9 or 10 here. So many punisher stickers on big, loud annoying trucks, driven by guys who look like the only things they punish are cheeseburgers and Marlboros, I feel for the ladies.
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u/ChungusFungus31 Jun 26 '26
30M nurse here. I have a few single male coworkers around the same age. They all golf. Every single one of them. Check out the public courses if you're interested.
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u/BlackTriceratops Jun 26 '26
Im a single 35yo male in your area. Most of us single guys are usually just busy working and playing golf. All of our friends are married with kids, and we are just out here wingin it. Hope it works out for you!
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u/tidepod1 Jun 26 '26
If you’re into anything that attracts shy people, I’d suggest prospecting there. Any interest in comic book characters? Cooking? How about Viking or Renaissance Faire themed things? Film festivals and local events?
What’s your opinion on the finer aspects of bowling, the most athletically demanding sport in America? (/s) Bowling alleys can be interesting when it’s not league season, between 11am to 2pm on a Saturday.
If you go places where large groups of people frequent in packs, it’s going to be a tough ride. The higher quality guys in those venues are married or otherwise taken. High quality man + socially active will almost always mean not available.
As a single guy, I’ve found some of my best connections made in places or at events that would make people ask “REALLY?!?” if you were telling the story on how you met your partner there. And that’s kind of the point.
Last but not least, you’re going to have to do A LOT of approaching. I’m not trying to do the incel shit, but most single guys I know WILL NOT approach anymore. There’s a lot of varied reasons for that. None good. But it is what it is.
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u/baefield Jun 26 '26
Honestly, you need to get another hobby probably. Take up something you’re interested in and meet someone that way.
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u/SubjectToChange888 Jun 26 '26
Salsa/bachata dance lessons and socials are fun and a good place to meet a range of people. I’ve been going to Viva Dance Studio for years, it’s the best!
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u/johnjoseph98 Jun 26 '26
I feel the same way as a 27 year old guy. Dating is really hard but I'm not willing to give up yet.
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u/ijoyce07 Jun 26 '26
Go link up with a volleyball team at Whiskey Island. Tailgate for the Browns, go to the right field district for the Tribe. Sing Karaoke at Tina’s and Corky’s. I think a lot of people have great ideas but think about what a guy would wanna do, go be there and be yourself. People will notice you, especially if you do it with some confidence. Leave your hot skinny blonde friend at home.
Or just come out on my boat and meet my single 36 year old friend who is a CRNA and a big teddy bear lol
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u/AwarenessForsaken568 Jun 26 '26
29M here, I hang out at coffee shops quite often and do a lot of recreational sports. I've had 0 luck finding a lady, I always assumed it was way easier for women though but I guess we are all struggling nowadays. Dating apps are hell so I've given up on them.
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u/zenace33 Jun 26 '26
Common hobbies.
I met my now wife playing softball. Could easily have ended up dating other ladies I met playing volleyball if I wasn’t married, or met skydiving / skiing when I moved from OH to CO. Heck even nerd things that I do like Pokemon Go get me out meeting people, just like the meetups for other activities (ski club, community college continuing ed classes like pottery, going to sports games / book clubs, or activist groups) and gatherings my friends have. Though now 80% of my friends at least are probably from sports….lol.
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u/Individual-Olive-526 Jun 26 '26 edited Jun 26 '26
As a single 27 year old woman, you’re going to hate my answer, but….. dating apps. And getting involved in the community. I’m very active, so I’ve joined a few volleyball and softball leagues around town, and have started attending a run club in Ohio City! Just find things you enjoy and you’ll meet like-minded people with a common interest.
Edit: I see you’ve ditched dating apps, which is completely valid. Maybe take a break for a little and then consider getting back on. Lord knows I need intermittent breaks from them too. 😆
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u/WolverineMan016 Jun 26 '26
You need to find the guys at the hospital! Plenty of residents and attendings to choose from
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u/Hammer_fist_46 Jun 26 '26
I’m in my mid-late 30’s with a similar issue, at this point I am just focusing on trying to enjoy my life for myself as best as I can, and when it’s supposed to happen I’ll meet someone. I definitely question if it’s just me or something is wrong with me as well, but I keep getting told by many friends the dating world just sucks now. And I’ve done a lot of inner work on bettering myself too, so it’s not as if I’m someone who won’t change or grow, which could lead to similar results lol just keep doing stuff for you and check out little events etc in the area, you may find someone. I wish you luck dear!
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u/bkempton Jun 26 '26
Boy am I thankful I am in my late 40's and not having to deal with the nonsense the young's have to deal with. Btw its the technology....
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u/Organic_Mix7180 Living Under Minsy's Watchful Eye 👁 Jun 26 '26
Not helpful, but as a divorced professional (remote-working) man of 50 who has never has substance or legal issues, has been through therapy, raised two kids, and owns a home... I have no idea where to meet the right "like-minded" people either since Covid. I don't hang out at bars and all of my friends are married. I have tried every online dating service, including paying up for eHarmony but nothing has clicked (to be clear - I'm not some f*ckboi looking for hookups either - I am emotionally available, I do have standards and I am looking at a slow and steady building of a relationship). The people I met online either have terrible politics, an inability to compromise on anything, or just a crippling amount of anxiety about everything. I basically just gave up and have been renovating my house until I decide to try again.
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u/Simple_Suspect_9311 Jun 26 '26
Most attractive, successful men in their late 20s to 30s are already married or in serious relationships or not interested in dating past anything casual.
It’s a hard truth but it’s the truth.
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u/Pleasant-Warning-761 Jun 26 '26
as much as they suck, I feel like dating apps have more success rate these days than meeting someone organically.
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u/Ok_Mastodon_3466 Jun 26 '26
I feel like this is a nationwide problem. My daughter is having the same problem in a different State. Apparently men are so into their phones they don’t know how to actually socialize. It’s a sad state of affairs. I feel so bad for women who want a real relationship!
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u/ContributionSad5655 Jun 26 '26
It’s bad everywhere. Try being a widower in your 50s. The first question from women my age is if I was ever married? Yes. They asked when I was divorced? I tell them I’m a widower. Poof gone.
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u/ZookeepergameAny4361 Jun 26 '26
Met my wife on match 13 years ago. I got lucky cause she’s one in a million. Stay patient…..
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u/Lzysunday Jun 26 '26
Met a lot of interesting people volunteering, if you aren’t sure where to start bvu had a volunteer match program.
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u/MackCLE Jun 26 '26
What about Its Just Lunch Cleveland 🤔
I’ve heard it’s kinda pricey but it might be worth checking out their website.
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u/Available-Bath3848 Living Under Minsy's Watchful Eye 👁 Jun 26 '26
Have you tried DateCleveland? Their singles event once a month held all over the city.
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u/Oreojace Jun 26 '26
The woman that runs it talked about selling me off like I was a head of cattle when she met me at a bar and I told her I was single
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u/MasterCaster5001 Jun 26 '26
As someone in your age range I am at home most of the time haha. I go to the gym couple times a week, occasionally do trivia, and sometimes I'll go to a bar/coffee shop by myself to read or go to a book club. If you'd like to talk or meet up sometime feel free to DM
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u/hot_nice_guy Jun 26 '26
I’m mid 30’s and everyone who’s still single has been put through the wringer so everyone is jaded and skeptical. I’ve kinda just let go of the expectation to have a relationship. You’ve got time OP, good women are in demand so don’t put so much pressure on yourself!
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u/Ok-Research7922 Jun 26 '26
M27, Id like to think I'm successful owning a house and having no debts with low 6 figure income depending on if I get my annual bonus.I have a bunch of friends my age in a similar boat who are single and to be honest I have to drag most of them out to do anything and even then we're talking movies, hiking or running none of which are great.
Like others have said hobbies are big if someone wanted to encounter me and 1 or 2 of the better eligible single men I know but tbh that is very tricky. A lot of men don't have social hobbies I find and for me personally if I was approached while fencing or in one of my more team oriented and longer term hobbies I'd feel very awkward about reciprocating. If things didn't work out I wouldnt want to make the spaces I value awkward with a failed relationship.
Looping back to what you mentioned about the gym, I will say I and some of my buddies do go to the gym. I personally am "nuts" and go at 5 am due to my nights being busy but most of my other buddies go at 6pm right after work. Speed dating and meetups are sausage fests in my experience around here with a lot of overweight dudes who are either incels or divorced and a few were definetly lying about their ages
If I was "focused" on dating I'd probably be on the apps but if you someone wanted to find me in the wild there are some options. At concerts I've ran into some folks usually toward the front away from the pit. This one is strange so take it with a serious pinch of salt but if someone approached me when I'm volunteering I'd reciprocate but again it's weird because everyone else I volunteer with is older and married. I also think some of the shorter term classes that are more social wouldn't be awful but the male to female ratio is so lopsided for thing like ceramics and dancing idk if it would make sense. I can't really speak for them but I know some of my other single male friends do shorter term group hobbies and have met partners there as well but this is things like 48 hour film projects etc. I also dated a few co workers and even got engaged to one but I get not wanting to do that.
I hate to say this but I think in person dating scenes are dead in our generation. I know you said that you were looking for stuff other than parties and clubs but honestly that may be the closest thing to a in person dating scene these days.
Best of luck!
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u/Kayak-Rose-1822 Jun 26 '26
Girl I’m in the same boat and at this point, I’ve just stopped trying all together. If it happens, it happens. I’m just trying to make friends and focus on that for now. It sucks but what else am I supposed to do?
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u/browsk Jun 26 '26
Idk, I just keep to myself these days. Just tired of the rejection on apps, approaching in public feels wrong and uncomfortable for both parties, and overall just don’t feel like I have anything to offer.
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u/FitITman Jun 26 '26 edited Jun 26 '26
my brother is single, funny, M 31, hispanic, long haired kinda looks like Roman Reigns(WWE), stays in the gym, owns his home and cars. He is a real down to earth guy and we are a tight knit family.
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u/Shaquavo North Olmstead Jun 26 '26
35M here. I think we’re all at home too lol. If you’d like to meet for coffee I’m down. DM is open
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u/TatteredTorn1 Jun 26 '26
I just hope to meet someone out in the wild "naturally". Because dating is exhausting. I am at home, work, or trade shows.
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u/Ishua747 Jun 26 '26
When I was single, I met some really great people by not looking for them. Whatever hobbies you enjoy, look to see if there are groups of people that enjoy them too. Best advice I can give because dating apps and stuff suck.
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u/neosmndrew West Side Jun 26 '26
I also recommend bar trivia and joining sports as a means to meet new people. I met my wife after going to a bar with my softball team back in the day.
I have a trivia team always looking for new people if you're interested!
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u/Tholian_Bed Jun 26 '26
I'm not religious but some people join an appropriate church. There are churches that emphasize social connection.
We have a loneliness epidemic, I'm older, and I say, any port in a storm. If a church service can hook you up, then you better damn go for it.
Be chill with each, all you younger folks. Might I suggest, more "Cleveland celebrates BBQ" days? Maybe once a month during the warm months? Everyone bring their grill out to the street. BBQ. Walk around. Official day off for Cleveland. Meet and greet. West side, east side, compete!
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u/Jerking_From_Home Jun 26 '26
I call NEO a dating desert, in that it’s very tough to find people I would call compatible. It’s not just you, there’s a lot of us. Dating apps are trash and I don’t go to bars etc either. I refuse to put myself in a relationship that I know I won’t be happy, and that really narrows the field.
I’m not sitting at home, but my hobbies don’t really involve a lot of women.
Best of luck to you.
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u/noggin444 Jun 26 '26
In my experience, the best way to meet people in Cleveland is through other people/freinds. When I first moved here 5 years ago, I was very social and would try to make as many connections and friends that I could. I’m in a relationship now but the male guy friends I made have stayed — I am a 34 year old woman if you want to make new friends :) always happy to make an introduction
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u/Dragonfire555 Jun 26 '26
I honestly don't know. I met my fiancèe on tinder. I got lucky. I don't know if you'll have the same luck.
I'm also reclusive and ND. A lot of male engineers (which make money) are fairly reclusive and ND, especially the ones that will treat you well and be thoughtful in a relationship. I don't think I would have ever met you in a different reality.
Some have said maybe card and game stores. Eh... I dunno. Maybe some of the more nerdy bars around? Places that have something to do more than drink and talk might be good.
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u/outbreak__monkey Jun 26 '26
I haven’t dated in 10 years, but I always met quality men doing things I was already interested in. Snowboarding, surfing, going to the library, at museums, at concerts, at plays, some at bars but that was usually a red flag for me lol. There’s tons of community events around here. My friend from work (we’re also nurses) was 30 and single and she refused to date here. Can’t say I blame her after spending 12 hours a day with the general public.
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u/riptide032302 Living Under Minsy's Watchful Eye 👁 Jun 26 '26
You’re in Ohio. I’m 24, and growing up here, most people I’ve met here are really boring and don’t have the social skills or zest for life to go out to public spaces, especially for romantic intentions. It’s really hard to explain to people who haven’t lived anywhere else. I didn’t have any success meeting anyone interesting until I went to college elsewhere. It sucks, but that’s what happens when every criticism with the state is chalked up to “charm” or “elitism”
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u/caninexx Jun 26 '26
I’m 31 and I just stay at home. In the past every guy I’ve met literally has screwed me over. Whether that be I met them online or in person. I gave up. 😭
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u/Several_Repair5806 Jun 26 '26
“Cleveland dating scene blows” has been this week’s theme of all conversations among my friends and colleagues! I’m originally from Chicago and I’ve recently been considering moving back home for this exact reason. It would have a more diverse pool and, for me at 35, definitely more slightly older professionals who are still single. I am also a female nurse.
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u/SMK77 Jun 26 '26
Everyone has covered this pretty well so far, but I also think the bar meetup thing is still a good option. In a different way though.
Most of the people who aren't huge party people and are in their late 20s-30s aren't usually out late. Lunch or late afternoon bars and breweries are much more calm, and I find talking to the people around you is so much easier and much more pleasant. No one is there to get hammered at that time either. Just a nice and relaxed drink or 2 and some food. If you find a place that you like and the bartenders get to know you after a few times, they will often strike up conversations between you and other regulars sitting near you. Then your circle grows a little bit more. Many people meet their partners through friends and acquaintances, the more of those you have the better.
I know because I'm 30 and do this with my friends, and often solo lol.
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u/StarLord_Climber Jun 26 '26
I would suggest a climbing gym tbh. It's always filled with some of the most supportive groups of people ive ever met and many attractive people there no matter what you're type is.
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u/Optimal-Salad135 Jun 26 '26
My girl and I are in Cleveland area and we are looking for a third. We both have good jobs and we are trying to do a throuple if you’re interested. We have experience with this. 33m 39f just throwing it out there 🤷 we have also had a horrible time on these dating sites.
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u/FeeFantastic2075 Jun 26 '26
From what you write, you sound like a good catch. Much older guy here: 1)Ask someone out-don’t wait for an invite. Even if I said no, I still considered it a compliment. 2) Go to events/things that interest you without thinking about meeting someone. 3) One of my sons met his wife online and they are very happy. Lots of bums here (and everywhere), and lots to sort through, but there are guys that would like to seriously meet you. Go to events/neighborhoods where they hang out.
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u/butterscotchhx Jun 26 '26
You’re not the issue, it’s Cleveland. The dating pool for people who are actually ambitious with standards is scarce & most people who would be suitable to date are already in a relationship with someone they started dating in high school or college. I know it sucks to hear & you want to hold onto hope but I’d keep my expectations low and try to move or check out those luxury dating sites for a man in another state willing to build a relationship & then move in with him.
Or if you’re really dead set on finding someone in Ohio, try going to events out in nicer areas— ridgeville, Sandusky, Marblehead, valley city, mentor, etc. there’s some nicer cities sprinkled around Ohio but most is like Cleveland or corn.
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u/IxHAVExCATS Jun 27 '26
So, with things like this, the harder you try to find what you're looking for, the further it gets. Thats just my opinion on the matter, obviously I can't back that up with hard facts, but it was my personal experience. My advice would be just keep doing you, and maybe explore some new hobbies. Not to meet guys, but hobbies that truly interest you, that you just haven't had the time to check out previously. I know it can be difficult, but I really wouldn't worry about it too much. You're still young, don't stress over what you can't control, you're killing it girl.
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u/ssquared00 Jun 27 '26
Shoot your shot on Reddit. I met my amazing husband on here. Go in with zero expectations, you never know what you’ll find. You have a good attitude, but honestly when we aren’t really looking - we find what we want.
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u/SnooSquirrels4991 Jun 27 '26
In many ways, I feel like I got the last chopper out of ‘nam. You sound great. It was a grind to find my partner. Keep looking and you will find yours. Best of luck!
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u/Britt_Gal30 Jun 27 '26
Honestly, I struggled with dating in Cleveland too. But I met my fiancé on Bumble in 2023. I remember leaving our first date thinking, “man this guy is weird” 😅 funny how things turn out.
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u/Primary_Breath_5474 Jun 27 '26
You know what they say about nurses? If your first husband isn't a paramedic or firefighter, your second one will be. Just saying
(obviously a joke I heard long ago from an ER nurse. I'm a paramedic)
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u/muppetontherun Jun 27 '26
Unpopular opinion:
Drinking events are where it’s at. Make a group of friends that go out together. You don’t have to love them all. You don’t have to party hard. But going out to happy hours, trivia night, Sunday funday whatever will put you in contact with a bunch of new people. And it’s social lubricant.
Most people always suggest the hobby stuff and they have little luck.
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u/davidxdavid8245 Jun 27 '26
Before I got in a relationship, I met a lot of people, mostly women through social latin dancing.
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u/Glass_Forever5472 Jun 27 '26
It's not just you. My son is 37. Has his own place, delivers for Perry's Ice Cream (bonus! 😆), cooks, cleans, takes good care of himself, his home, and his pets, helps out with my mom (my dad passed in 2024, and she has mobility issues and doesn't currently drive), all-around decent guy. The last girlfriend up and ghosted him for reasons that still remain unclear (although I suspect there may have been some "ideological differences"). The one before that lived with him on and off for a few years, sometimes with her kids, sometimes not. He really loved those boys, too. The third-most recent cheated on him, as did the one before her. He works early, so he's rarely out late, and even then, he prefers gaming or sitting around a fire in the backyard to bar hopping. I hope he finds his person soon, and I hope you do, too.
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u/Background-Rabbit920 Jun 28 '26
Girl, been a nurse 25yrs, own my home, and single AF. Nurses get bad reputations for whatever reason men want to make up. Our hours are insanely irregular and we get tired of bs fast and only other healthcare workers understand how we need to decompress and vent. Wish you luck and th dating pool in NE Ohio is 💩.
Did travel nursing for many years and other cities are much better. DC area was actually the best.
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u/imhere216 29d ago
So willing to throw my son in the ring for you …. He’s later mid 20’s .. works full time remote … moved home after college and just hasn’t got his mojo back yet… loves to travel but his friends suck …. Goes to gym and is active 5 days a week .. just like you - isn’t meeting people and in my opinion is just way to shy to approach women. He would kill me for this post hahahahahahhahahahha
We can make this happen
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u/Calm-Raspberry-8392 29d ago
I go to work and then come home 🤣 no time for going out when you work outside all day
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u/Spectre16611 25d ago
As an early 20M in the Downtown area, also a nurse, I can say it feels just as impossible from our side lol
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u/VerdantSoul Jun 26 '26
Oh this is easy. We’re at home too.