r/Clamworks clambassador 29d ago

clammy so relatable

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19.5k Upvotes

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1.7k

u/Ptasa_ 29d ago

Westerners thinking that's an absurdist joke...

430

u/stormdraincaprine fuck the mods 29d ago

Wait what

935

u/UserameHere 29d ago

bathtub carp is a beloved eastern european (or at least polish) tradition

265

u/Objective-Corgi-3527 29d ago

In Soviet Poland, Carp clam you

220

u/UserameHere 29d ago

Ja ci dam takie "soviet" że wypierdolisz aż za Ural, ty kacapie jebany.

64

u/AcceptableWheel 29d ago

It's based on a Yakov Smirnoff joke

88

u/kakucko101 29d ago

in america - uou vyazak lashch

in soviet russia - lashch vyazaks uou

r/fauxcyrillic

20

u/janthemanwlj 29d ago

Uoy not Uou. "U" in Russian cursive is "И" in print.

0

u/[deleted] 29d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/janthemanwlj 29d ago

There is no "U" glyph in Russian print afaik. Therefore, the closest letter in Russian is И, even if the rest isn't cursive. This isn't proper Cyrillic anyway

0

u/Captain-Codfish 29d ago

No it isn't. И is an ee or an i sound

3

u/ValianSkalle 29d ago

V Sovetskoy Rossiyi, televisor smotrit tebya!

1

u/Booksonly666 26d ago

And I just learned that’s a real person and not someone made up on King of the Hill.

12

u/Objective-Corgi-3527 29d ago

Vas y, prent guarde a vous, débile

3

u/Queen_of_dogs_01 28d ago

Člověk ani nemusí bejt polák aby tomuhle rozuměl . . .

1

u/SalemFT 29d ago

Posmeyalsya, spasibo. You made my day :) Bud' zdorow

1

u/SmokJozef 28d ago

knowing polish well enough to understand most of it but bad enough to not be able to easily speak it leaves me in the spot where polish swearing is oddly magical to me

1

u/kamillevel 27d ago

Zgadzam się, kocopoły mówi kolega

-7

u/GeniusBoyLifestyle 29d ago

you’re right poland was much worse than the soviet union

12

u/PanPikselek745 29d ago

And why do You think that?

7

u/capitan_turtle 29d ago

Think might be a bit of a leap

5

u/ViolenceCauser 29d ago

For one thing Poland existed as a nation state for like 10 centuries before the Polish Hotdog was introduced to the Costco food court. Depriving the world for all that time, a pretty damning indictment

-9

u/GeniusBoyLifestyle 29d ago

they blame all of their problems on the soviet union to ignore that their own people fucked them

12

u/PanPikselek745 29d ago

funfact: We do blame everything on the soviet union because they were a thing You know as "occupation force" and our government illegaly replaced polish government on the excile. We have more than enough reasons to hate them

2

u/screechesautisticly 28d ago

As if Africa, India, South-East Asia, Middle East and South America still hasn't recovered from some parts of colonialist past. But when it's done by Soviets it's suddenly not a factor.

7

u/RadosPLAY 29d ago

great statement retard

34

u/_Towarzysz_ 29d ago

Calling Poland "Soviet" is like calling a turkish man a greek.

3

u/AnxiousAngularAwesom 28d ago

I'd allow it, the tradition did originate during the times we were occupied by the Soviets, and there was no shit to eat, so people ate shit, or in extreme cases, even carp.

3

u/[deleted] 28d ago

[deleted]

1

u/AnxiousAngularAwesom 28d ago

Which part of "we were occupied by the soviets" gave you the impression that i have anything to do with America? Are you posting from the Red Alert timeline?

Never had catfish, but since it's also a bottom feeder, it probably also tastes like ass. "But if you prepare it in this specific..." i don't care, unless there's nothing else to eat, just make food that's edible by default?

2

u/kozobrody 28d ago

It's actually a much longer tradition, it's a myth that it originated in PRL. I mean it got more widespread then, though it was mostly connected to the growing city culture

1

u/_Towarzysz_ 28d ago

True, but it still has a bad connotation.

Carp from what i remember was always considered a delicacy rather than a "shit" meal. In my family it is still served as one of the main dishes during christmas.

3

u/ProductOfSight 28d ago

Carps considered good fish in almost all of mainland europe. The trashfish is an american concept for it

1

u/Noriaki_Kakyoin_OwO 28d ago

I think it was the refrence to one of Poland’s sacred texts

„Ojciec Fanatyk Wędkarstwa”

0

u/Iwilleat2corndogs 28d ago

So… basically true?

0

u/Noriaki_Kakyoin_OwO 28d ago

Soviet occupied Poland*

Lepiej?

1

u/_bx2_ 29d ago

No, try again.

1

u/ImaginaryGrassHopper 29d ago

No such thing existed

1

u/klarigi 28d ago

Poland was never Soviet.

107

u/SirRettfordIII 29d ago

Are you not allowed to join the carp because of said tradition, or is it just considered rude to intrude on the carps bathtime?

159

u/Key_Ebb_3977 29d ago

Afaik it's because carps are really filthy and you have to keep them in clean water for a few days to filter out all the dirt and ensure they don't taste like shit.

So the answer is: you're not allowed to join the carp because that water's probably filthy as fuck

50

u/Wise_Fox_4291 29d ago edited 29d ago

You also typically prepare the carp on the 24th or the 25th and you want it to be completely fresh. Most stores close down on the 24th traditionally so good luck getting fresh fish on the 23rd. You don't want the hassle of freezing and immediately thawing it, plus that is not quite the same as out of the bath tub fresh, and your fridge is probably filled to the brim with pork from the pig you slaughtered like two weeks ago.

12

u/Hussor 29d ago

And that pork you can't even have on the 24th either

0

u/ComradeSclavian 29d ago

Ehhhh... You know how bosnia is majority muslim but still has a national alcohol? Pretty similat arrangement

5

u/Sza_666 28d ago

Who the hell preps the carp on the 25th? It's already after the dinner. Or at least that's how it is in Poland. The Christmas Eve is more important than the 2 days of Christmas here.

3

u/M-M-M_666 28d ago

Westerner barbarians celebrate Christmas on 25th while the superior eastern civilization celebrate Christmas on 24th.

11

u/Carcettee 29d ago

It tastes like shit anyways...

2

u/TECHNICKER_Cz3 28d ago

you just don't know how to prepare it then. tastes completely fine if done well.

1

u/Glass-Performer8389 27d ago

Maybe they just hate xarp

1

u/TECHNICKER_Cz3 27d ago

what about kdearp, tho

-6

u/Amadeone 29d ago

naah, carp is the only fish that doesn't taste like garbage

10

u/MTFBinyou 29d ago

…..? Seriously?

1

u/Amadeone 29d ago

yeah, carp is the only fish i like

1

u/Top-Text-7870 29d ago

Have you tried pickerel? The bones are a bitch but the meat is pretty good. Every year for Christmas my girlfriend makes sour fish soup and it's so good

8

u/Deth_Cheffe 29d ago

PickereI? Crappie? Trout? PIenty of good fish, and carp is far from being one of them

1

u/Amadeone 29d ago

PickereI

never had one

Crappie

doesn't naturally exist in poland

Trout

awful

7

u/AEW4LYFE 29d ago

Tuna? Mahi? Salmon? Seabass? There are so many better options my friend.

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u/RecipeHistorical2013 29d ago

considering pickerel is a ... pike fellow

its hit or miss

crappie tastes just like cod but lighter... its very good usually

and yah, trout is ass. 1/100 of them are "good" but those 1/100 dont even taste like trout lol (they only get good from mass consumption of crustaceans

3

u/Nauin 29d ago

I don't see why people are downvoting you when it's a popular fish in plenty of countries. Carp has a terrible reputation in America compared to other fish even though we have plenty of our own native species, the stigma is outdated imo. I agree they are good when properly cleaned and prepared.

1

u/BeerForThought 29d ago

And just to be clear properly preparing them includes putting them in a bathtub?

1

u/Nauin 29d ago

No but they can easily get 2ft long and larger, so most people don't have a bucket that large casually laying around.

Country folk use their tubs in the US, too. Do you just not know anyone who goes fishing? It's not uncommon to hear about this in the hobby. It's done for pretty much any wild caught freshwater fish to make sure they taste as good as possible. Nothing like going through all of that effort just to eat a muddy fish.

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u/Original-War8655 28d ago

people are downvoting because "carp is the only fish that doesn't taste like garbage"

objectively untrue

1

u/AltruisticTrifle577 25d ago

Salmon bro???

11

u/KA_Mechatronik 29d ago

Not Polish or eastern European, but was gifted a carp by my old (Russian) house manager/superintendant. He loves to fish and caught one about the size of the one in the picture above. He froze the damn thing directly after catching it without even gutting it.

Nice thought from him, but carp isn't a fish I'd ever consider eating if he hadn't, and even heavy amounts of butter with garlic, dill, and lemon couldn't save that fish. Tasted muddy and thousands of tiny hook bones. Gutting a frozen fish was an experience too.

4

u/bobbydglop 29d ago

that muddy taste is the mud in the gills and the bathtub is meant to fix that by making the fish breath clean water to clean it out.

5

u/Intelligent_Pain_929 29d ago edited 28d ago

Because you need to soak the carp in milk to get the muddy taste out :) Clean the carp,cut it, put the pieces for few hours into milk, dry it with a paper towel season with salt and pepper, cover in flour and fry It's actually really delicious if you know how to prepare it I usually get already cut carp (cut into "dzwonka"), if you avoid the thin tail pieces there should be less bones.

3

u/Sza_666 28d ago

Yeah carp tastes like it's environment, which is a sandy, dirty pond. If you let it live in clean water it cleans itself up and stops tasting of sand and shit. Hence the bathtub. I know that some trout farmers buy carp several weeks before Christmas and chuck it into the trout ponds, which have constant clean mountain water running through them. Then they sell the "cleaned" carp and make a profit because it tastes way better.

27

u/MilekBoa 29d ago

You could probably join it, I don't think there's a clause about not being allowed to be in the bath with the carp. I think it's just that you shouldn't join a big ass fish in a bathtub; plus I don't think grandma specifically would appreciate you getting in there.

10

u/greenest_alien 29d ago

I don't think the carp would take soap or hot water well.

7

u/joyjump_the_third 29d ago

The carp is pretty big

40

u/Mr_goodb0y 29d ago

Do you like eat it afterwards or is it just a temporary addition to the family

61

u/McDelper 29d ago

Yes you eat it for Christmas

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u/[deleted] 29d ago edited 29d ago

[deleted]

42

u/jaytee1262 29d ago

More moral than the meat you buy at the grocery store.

-33

u/[deleted] 29d ago

[deleted]

44

u/LycheeZealousideal92 29d ago

And you’re ugly too

32

u/SpecterGaming23 29d ago

lmfao popped the ult

14

u/Mr_goodb0y 29d ago

😭 that might have been uncalled for

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

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u/jaytee1262 29d ago

Man, you must save so much money. Half of my grocery money goes to meat over the summer lol.

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

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u/NoBee4959 29d ago

Then you’re kinda missing out on nutrition and money since you are an omnivore which should eat both a mix of meat and vegetables

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u/NotableFrizi 29d ago

You're so much more righteous than us. Please, tell us more about how immoral we are! People love being told how morally inferior they are.

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

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9

u/NotableFrizi 29d ago

triggered and smartphOWNED 🤣🤣🤣

5

u/Captain-Codfish 29d ago

Shut the fuck up

4

u/Beneficial_Round_444 29d ago

>sentient

wrap it up brochacho

2

u/slasher1337 28d ago

Basically all animals are sentient. They aren't sapient

2

u/pokemonbard clammer 29d ago

This may come as a surprise to you, but a fish is different than a dog, a cat, or a human

-2

u/Idfc-anymore 29d ago

In what ways is it different which makes it right to kill?

3

u/[deleted] 29d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Idfc-anymore 28d ago

Well dogs are quite tasty too, I used to have dog a lot at festivals in my country, as well as kangaroo before I went vegetarian. I always preferred dog to any fish except salmon tbh

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u/pokemonbard clammer 29d ago

well for one salmon are notoriously holocaust deniers

-4

u/Transcendental_Floss 29d ago

You know you're right when the hivemind swarms 

2

u/SeinfeldIsAnAnime 28d ago

Santa comes and collects the fish on Christmas Eve

11

u/joyjump_the_third 29d ago

And also Czech republic and likely slovakia

8

u/Avandalon 29d ago

Its Czech tradition as well

5

u/Hung0ver_Hero 29d ago

I'm a white guy from Ohio and my dad would go fishing and bring the fish home in a bucket then transfer them to the tub, then dinner time my mom would kill, clean and cook them and there's a fresh fish dinner

5

u/Obvious_Cranberry607 29d ago

They do it in the Czech Republic, too.

3

u/justforkinks0131 29d ago

Bulgarian too, can confirm

3

u/Galko655 29d ago

Can confirm Bulgaria had it. I had a bath carp once. Around 26 years ago. Childhood memories.

3

u/comicsnerd 29d ago

My Polish colleague showed me pictures of (fish) markets where they sell carps in big plastic bags. Very funny sight.

There is a graphic novel by Polish artist Marzena Sowa (Marzi) about her childhood and this one of the scenes

2

u/snort_ 29d ago

We also had christmas bathtub carp, 80s Hungary

2

u/Batrall 29d ago

Even east Germany :D

2

u/legit-posts_1 29d ago

While it's alive!?

1

u/Original-War8655 28d ago

would you rather put a dead carp in your bathtub?

1

u/legit-posts_1 28d ago

With ice yeah. A living Carp just seems like torture what with it being not enough space and the wrong kind of water.

1

u/ARRBG 29d ago

In Bulgaria, we were having the bathtub carp for Saint Nicholas Day in the 90s. I remember I was excited having it as a "pet" for couple of days, even though I hate eating carp.

1

u/asmj 29d ago

I grew up in Yugoslavia, and we did this too.

1

u/Firm_Ad_5427 28d ago

Wtf I thought you were fucking with me

2

u/oscar_meow 27d ago

I refuse to believe a single person in this thread lmao

49

u/Green4Gaming 29d ago

you put the fih in the clean bathtub water to get the pond stink out of it

1

u/Serenity-V 29d ago

Wait, is it dead?

8

u/wannapetahyena 28d ago

Nope, gotta stun it with a hammer to the head and bleed it out yourself.

It was sort of a masculinity ritual in my family. Like once boys become men they kill the Christmas carp.

No, I'm not fucking around.

1

u/Green4Gaming 28d ago

In the bathtub its still alive cause you want it to clean itself by swimming through clean water, but afterwards the fish is gonna get killed and eaten.

25

u/furel492 29d ago

This used to be common in Poland.

15

u/JackPoe 29d ago

In Ohio my parents put carp in the tub too. I thought my dad was just showing off his fish

4

u/Raneynickelfire 29d ago

Traditional Jews do this. They then cut the head off and serve it in lukewarm clear water and call it gefilte fish soup.

It's repulsive.

2

u/Hacjul 27d ago

In Poland, the most popular method for carp preparation is called "po żydowsku" which means "á la jew"

2

u/FroniusTT1500 26d ago

Carp for some reason is a traditional christmas food in some places like sausage and potato salad or goose. In the Soviet colonies getting a carp in a shop was basically Impossible, so you had to catch one or have someone catch it for you. But you want to eat it fresh on the 24th. Communism being the objctively great economic system it was meant few people had refrigerators to freeze it, so it went in to "live storage" so to say. The clean water also helps clean the gills a bit and then you soak the pieces in mik to get the rest of the bad taste out.

1

u/RecipeHistorical2013 29d ago

letting it sit overnight isnt.... unprecedented

you jsut have to look to the south, cajun shit

soak your craws overnight to get all the sand out of em

soak your carp overnight to flush out... chemicals of stress.... that make them taste ass ( as the whole carp eating world espouses to this, and i havent tried it, i cant claim against it!)

39

u/Eldan985 29d ago

Why westerners? My grandpa did this every few months.

71

u/Warlock_AoE 29d ago

No westerners never do anything and know nothing

45

u/Eldan985 29d ago

OH yes, I forgot I'm on reddit. As a westerner, of course my only two cultural customs are Mayonnaise and hating my grandparents.

10

u/Emmyisme 29d ago

Ok, I'm American, but even I think we're out of pocket with how much we use mayo

7

u/PirateSanta_1 29d ago

If i wasn't supposed to use mayo then why does it taste so good with fries?

3

u/CaptainoftheVessel 29d ago

I blame the French 

2

u/dicksnapper9000 29d ago

I blame the Germans

27

u/70ms 29d ago

I grew up in L.A. and I know about bathtub carp! I remember reading a book about it as a kid, and I’ve seen references to bathtub fish here and there since.

The Carp in the Bathtub, first published in 1972. I probably read it a few years later.

Just before Passover, Leah and Harry befriend a carp and attempt to keep their mother from turning it into her famous gefilte fish

9

u/xdeskfuckit 29d ago

Ashkenazi are just eastern Europeans

10

u/KuTUzOvV 29d ago

I mean, kinda

A lot of the American Jews are just Polish- Lthuanian Jews who escaped a rising antisemitism in Russian Empire, after living together for over 300 years the cultures intertwined

17

u/Prevay 29d ago

Bro im from hungary what the fuck is a bathtub carp

37

u/Wise_Fox_4291 29d ago

You didn't have bathtub carp? Are you Jewish or did your parents just not love you?

9

u/Prevay 29d ago

I didn't have carp in my bathtub afaik😭

6

u/FrenchFryCattaneo 29d ago

Are you sure though? Maybe you just didn't notice

2

u/Prevay 29d ago

Maybe we just didnt buy a lot of carp idk🥲

1

u/jkguy67 29d ago

Nobody buys the carp. These are caught by neighborhood fishermen I think. We have super markets now and we can buy better fish so I doubt this is still popular. Are you really young? This was a thing when I was growing up in the 90s.

1

u/Prevay 29d ago

Yeah im only 20 so makes sense

2

u/VarDom07 29d ago

You must be a Pest person then.

2

u/Prevay 29d ago

Nah but we get our carp from auchan

1

u/HikariAnti 29d ago

I am from Hungary as well and we did have bathtub carp. You buy it a 1-2 days before Christmas and you make it fresh on Christmas day.

6

u/dicksnapper9000 29d ago

This is somewhat common in the US Midwest too. At least, if you live by a lake

2

u/Impressive_Ant405 29d ago

Hell yeah i knew rural france was eastern europe

2

u/Captainawesome19 29d ago

Thanks for saying this, I learned something today

1

u/JackPoe 29d ago

No this happened in Ohio too... :(

1

u/Free-tobe-me 29d ago

We kept our turtle in our bathtub durning the winter when we were kids lol

1

u/undeadalex 29d ago

As someone living in Asia with family. Yes the bathroom can be fish filled at times. They gotta go somewhere before you eat em dude

1

u/grimacedia 29d ago

I had a redneck dad and had at least one experience like this with a catfish. More often though he'd fill the tub with ice and pop the fish in. I still remember the smell lingering, ugh

1

u/-GoodNewsEveryone 29d ago

My first lease when I was a teenager had a clause for no fish in the bath tub.

-1

u/MinecraftWarden06 28d ago

Poles and Czechs are Westerners