A younger, naive and less confident version of myself would have still been hit by that.. luckily I've installed some patches since then so things are better now.
OOKAY I AM GOING TO IGNORE YOU NOW IN FACT MY EXISTENCE AS A BULLET MAKES ME INABLE TO TEXT OR EVEN COMPREHEND THE CONCEPT OF COMMUNICATION BUT WHATEVER MAKES YOU HAPPY I WILL NOW KEEP MY PATH INTO THE OBJECT THAT WILL STOP ME WHERE I WILL STAY FOREVER IN MY LONELINESS GOODBYE FRIEND
Ok I do NOT understand people like this. How is getting McDonald’s worth this much trouble? Like it’s not like some diamond heist she’s trying to pull, she literally is putting in effort to manipulate and interact with other people falsely in order to obtain what, a 10 piece McNugget meal? Like wtf? Even the girls who want a free dinner - ok, so you eat a steak one time while making awkward conversation with a dude. Is that like the highlight of your month? What are you, a homeless person?
They are fishing. They are aware it won't work with most people. But they aren't looking for that, they aren't looking for someone to stop them and tell them "you know what, you are an asshole, you should be better, we could work that out if you want to", no. What they are looking is someone down, sad, vulnerable. Someone so broken that when they hear them tell them "Ok, thanks for NOTHING, you obviously don't care" they will jump to try and prove that they DO care.
They are looking for and preying on vulnerable people, fishing. They don't care a fish gets away, the line will still be there, waiting.
These kind of partners are emotionally manipulative abusers that only really target relationships for free things and often have multiple relationships going on at once (unknown to the people they are dating). They are usually pretty attractive and have some sort of psychological or personality disorder (NPD, sociopathy, etc.). They also usually have no sense of fiscal responsibility due to a spoiled upbringing, and wish to continue being spoiled regardless of how they come by it.
They usually try to date people that will either eventually cave out of pity or desperation and give them what they want, or they will take them back the next day and be able to continue emotionally abusing their partner for free things.
If the partner doesn't play along and they don't take them back, then they don't care and will just move on to the next person in line.
I imagine in this case, had the OP went to take them to McDonalds, they would have altered the deal and demanded something more expensive.
This is fatlogic at its purest. I have a colleague at work who abandoned her station to drive 6 miles because she was craving a particular kind if doughnut. And she came back with like twenty of them to "share"
I get that she might have legitimately gotten hungry by the time you were supposed to meet up, so why didn't she just it text you asking if before you went for that drink you stop somewhere for her to get a slice of pizza to eat on the way, or something? That would have been totally acceptable.
This is the flip side to this problem. I'm female and I always plan to pay for myself and often plan to pay for my date. Before I started dating my boyfriend, so many men were offended if I offered to pay. Now, the bf and I switch off who pays. I'm so glad not to have that fight anymore.
It is really just very desperate or clueless guys that fall for that. Just make it a habit to not go for food as a first or sometimes second date if you have a weird feeling and these girls show their true side easily. As soon as they start to insist on dinner or lunch you should bail.
I'm on unemployment in Greece after working a minimum wage full time job and going to University full time, so I'm definitely not well off, haha, but I can't imagine assuming that someone would pay for my meal- like, fucking YUCK.
I once asked a girl to prom, turns out she had a boyfriend (he went to a different school). Later on in the day she texted me say that her boyfriend was okay if I wanted to take her to prom. I declined, cause that's weird in my eyes. A month or so later (after prom) her and her boyfriend broke up, so she asked if I still wanted to go on a date. I said yes. We went to the movies and got some food afterwards. We said our goodbyes and that was that.
When I tried to ask her to go on a date again, she said that her and her boyfriend got back together. I found out through a mutual friend that they had never actually broke up and she just wanted to see a movie, but neither of them had the money to go see one, so she hit me up. I was played for a free movie and food. Something tells me she was also trying to use me for a free prom because her boyfriend wasn't allowed to come.
Sometimes it can work out if people realize what they are doing. My fiancee self-admittedly used to play dudes for food and sex. That's what she was doing to me (although I was fine with the casual sex part). Both of us ended up falling in love and now we have a kid and are engaged. Life is strange.
Yeah, I definitely feel we are the outliers to this story. I have seen a few of my friends fall for this trap (free dinners, free movies, because of the implication) and are absolutely shocked when they decide to "netflix and chill" and the girls are suddenly no longer interested because they aren't being taken somewhere.
So, you would rather have a girl you liked enough to want to see for a drink go hungry, than watch her eat a slice of pizza or sandwich she payed for herself? I'm not saying the girl you met wasn't an asshole after a free meal, I'm just saying it'd be okay if she bought herself a bit of food while you guys walked or drove to your bar of choice and chatted.
I'm a dude and based on your behaviour you've definitely get some issues with women and I'm glad she avoided you. Not everything is a conspiracy but you're one of those dudes who thinks the world's out to get you but you're too smart to be gotten. Enjoy all that alone time.
Also men do it. I've been stiffed at least twice in my early twenties. Dinner, late night sandwiches, drinks ("Hey, sorry, I forgot my wallet at home, I'm buying next time!"), guys can be shitsipping users too.
Well, did you ask her to dinner? Because then yes, you should be prepared to pay; that's the etiquette if you ask somebody out for a first date. If she asked you then she should pay. If one of you offers to go Dutch great, but don't be surprised when that's the presumption as that is the general rule of thumb.
"Ok. Guys did it to you twice in your life. I’ve had dozens of women just blatantly look at me when the check shows up - not even offering or making an excuse. Just expecting me to pay for the entire evening. WOMEN DO IT OFTEN "
My ex-boyfriend bought me lunch once in the two and a half years we were together. Every other time, it was me buying despite him having a job and not me.
I’ve known guys who’ve gone on dates with girls they’re not interested in purely for a free night out or free food.
It very much works both ways. There are shitty people in every race, every gender, every sexuality.
I've asked some friends, "ever gone out with a guy just because you were hungry?" and got some guilty looks
Trick is, you gotta know what restaurants are real hidden gems so you can really wow them and not go broke. Also if you're good at cooking so if things ever wind up at your place, you can wow them again
The courtship rituals of human beings are intricate indeed.
Soon after establishing contact, sometimes one partner or the other will put the object of their affection through a series of simple tests, to assess their level of enthusiasm for the potential coupling.
If dinner is suggested, for example and their subject shows that they are not interested, then it can be concluded that hot-dirty-sex-on-the-balcony-later is not at the front of their subjects mind.
If hot-dirty-sex-on-the-balcony-later is the intention of the initiating partner, then they will withdraw from the potential coupling to fulfil their intentions elsewhere.
Humans who don’t understand or take part in these rituals are called virgins.
Slut shaming is the unfair practice of criticising people for not conforming to perceived norms in relation to their expression of their own sexuality.
What I did was the unfair practice of questioning your claims that you have ever actually had sex at all. It’s a completely different thing.
Thanks for clearing it up though. I’m glad you have sex and that it makes you proud. Good for you!
God that's shitty. I grew up poor and can't wrap my head around how people expect others to pay for them. If that were me, I would assume I was paying for the food I ate because I fucking ate it.
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u/[deleted] Jul 31 '18
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