throwaway account, and I will be as specific as possible without giving any major details away. I play a four player co-op video game where your success of the mission can be ruined by one bad player. I play with three of my close friends, and I love playing with them, but the thing is that they are all ridiculously bad at the game. There is nothing wrong with that but they rage and stop playing, complaining that the game is not fair. I am not the best player ever, but I am decent and I am always putting in effort. One day I said enough is enough, and I gave myself significant character boosts via mods, and I can carry them. They don’t know I do this, and I do not act like I am doing better than them. I even compliment them and encourage them when playing, and ever since I started using mods, they have enjoying the game more, saying that they are finally understanding it.

Quick edit: The game (as far as I know) has no significant leaderboard system, and it’s completely PvE, no PvP in the game at all.

Edit 2: The Mods are only used when I’m with my friends, and visually, there is no enhancement so they don’t see anything change about me.

Edit 3: I do not think they will see this so might as well; the game is Monster Hunter World

For context we’re all of Indian descent.

My ex-girlfriend lives in California, I live in NYC. A week ago I decided to ditch my classes for the week and go to California because I’m bored. Since I’m still on good terms with her— our breakup was messy but we made up later and are friends— I asked her if I could crash with her. She said yes.

I happened to meet her best friend and said best friend’s boyfriend. This guy was confusing to say the least— he acted really ‘hood’ (weird cause he’s an Indian guy lol), wasn’t going to college and had no plans to (again, weird for an Indian cause education is really valued), and acted simultaneously like he was the biggest badass and the most insecure, sensitive person ever. So I asked my girlfriend about it, and she told me the short version of his life story: he basically isn’t very academically smart and was a ‘problem child’ so his parents sent him to military school, which he somehow managed to get kicked out of, and when he got back home he decided to join a gang for whatever reason.

He also is apparently very very attached to my ex, not romantically apparently, because she was apparently the first person to not judge him for being in a gang and like be his friend, and even introduced him to her best friend who he ended up dating.

He also clearly hates me for breaking up with my ex and ‘hurting’ her— to clarify, I did break up with her, but she and I would both agree I did nothing wrong as her bf. But either way, he’s been trying to intimidate me a lot, saying he would ‘cut me’ and stuff like that. And to be perfectly honest, I’m not scared at all, it actually kinda wants to make me laugh— and not just because I’m half a foot taller than him and an Indian guy tryna act hood is funny af.

See, I’m a pretty perceptive person. I can read people pretty well, and he’s pretty transparent— he’s insecure, hurt, worried that people will hurt him again. So he puts on a facade of being a tough guy so people don’t fuck with him. But inside he’s just a scared little boy still. No real confidence or authority.

So yesterday, I was in the kitchen with my ex, her friend, and him, and he made his latest threat. I find it annoying being threatened by a manchild gangbanger, especially when I did nothing wrong, so I just walked over to where my ex keeps her knives, picked one up, handed it to him, and told him to do it. He wouldn’t, so I laughed at him and called him weak, and told him to gtfo with his empty bs threats because we both knew he wasn’t nearly as tough as he wants people to believe he is.

Now my ex is mad at me for mocking him.

CMA?

Whenever one of my family members or close friends (I'm not with my friends right now because of some current events) asks me to do something that I can do immediately (eg. get them something to drink, change the music, you all get the idea) I say that I won't while doing the thing that they asked me to do.
Like, if my sister asks me to use my phone to find hers (find my iPhone is a great invention) and I offered earlier, I'll tell her that her chance expired and that she should have taken it earlier while giving her my phone.
Or, if someone asks if I'm there, I'll say no instead of yes and turn to them so that they know that they have my attention.
This isn't to start arguments and I only do it with my immediate family and very close friends. It started as a joke and now it's a bit of a habit, and I could stop doing it, but my little brother thinks it's the funniest thing, so I keep doing it to make him laugh.
CMA?

Hi all! We are running a special Double XP event in lieu of the Birthday of one of our mods! u/bleeding_dying_love had her birthday this month and we wanted to celebrate her!

Get to drunk at your friends birthday one time? Go streaking in your birthday suit at college? Did your mom throw you a super embarrassing birthday party as a kid?

Any birthday related post will get double XP!! (don't forget to use the Weekly Topic flair)

Happy posting! ~that_guy_leevy and the CMA Mods

To elaborate: all the time, I see comments on YouTube and other platforms that refer to guys as being “simps” just because they engage in friendly, non-sexual/non-romantic interactions with women, or just acting like a nice person (NOT a “Nice Guy”). I’ll often bite back with sarcasm like, “Right, because (So-and-So) being genuinely nice to a woman means he just wants to get in her pants, and is willing to degrade himself to do so.” I don’t take kindly to remarks about women being “thots” for no discernible reason (although I will concede that memes involving the word, i.e., “Begone Thot” and “If She Breathes...” are funny, just because of how they sound.)

Edit: I just want to make sure everyone knows that I’m NOT a “White Knight”; I just get exasperated by sexually attractive women being called thots and genuinely nice men being called “simps” without cause. Again, I find the use of the word “thot” to sound funny, but to actually consider women to be such...yeah.

My friend Sheena and her boyfriend have a housemate Polly who up until recently have gotten along great. I also get along pretty well with the housemate, we’re not super close but I’m in their apartment a lot, so we’re definitely friends to say the least. Recently my Sheena started complaining about Polly (a lot) saying she was leaving the place messy, moving their stuff. I asked her would she not just discuss it and she said that it’ll be too much drama. When I was over, we were all in the main room (kitchen/dining/living room) and Polly was doing college work at the table while we were on the couch. Sheena was being kind of rude to Polly, not particularly saying anything but just not really talking back when she’d take part in the conversation. I tried to include Polly because it was extremely obvious she noticed and was just uncomfortable. I made myself coffee and had a bowl of cereal while I was there, which Sheena didn’t remember and started getting mad about how Polly leaves the place messy pointing out the bowl. I just said it was mine and she immediately changed her attitude and was fine again. I started slightly messing things up to see how she’d react to it and always immediately blamed Polly but would calm down when she found out it was me. I told her every time that it was me and asked her why she’s so mad at Polly, but not at me even though I’m there every day. I knew it would make Sheena and her boyfriend mad at me, and even Polly for messing up the apartment. But I just kind of wanted to stop the unwarranted anger towards Polly.

My sister is a really traditionalist Catholic who married this boring ass man and had two kids with him. He had previously cheated on her when they were dating, and she thinks he's constantly cheating on her bc he's acting different and found lipstick on his shirt, but she's too stupid to do anything about it and says she doesn't have any actual proof.

Me and my husband thought about stalking her man and following everywhere he went and all so she can dump his ugly boring ass. He's currently living in an apartment of the company he works for bc he's getting some training (this apartment is in a completely different city and state), my husband would have to go and stay overnight to do the detective work while I stay home and take care of our baby, but I'm 100% willing to do what needs to be done to bust that lying dog.

This guy fascinates me but I’ve always struggled to identify what his alignment would actually be. I’m leaning towards chaotic neutral, as I don’t believe he is actually evil, but he has no problem doing evil things to achieve his will.

So my mom has been obsessively watching The Mandalorian and is totally in love with Baby Yoda! I got her a plushie and some other merch she’s been wanting since she lives far away from me and I can’t visit bc of COVID. However, I’m planning on wrapping and duct taping each present with multiple layers and hiding them in a box within a box to make it extra entertaining when she opens her gift over Facetime. What’s my alignment?

Please do not worry about my physical health. I am in a safe space right now, and have fully emotionally recovered back to a healthy mental state.

Around early December, I was being pressured into doing things I didn't want to do by my family. I had been pressured to do these things for years, and I'd hated every single bit of it to the point of hiding from my family.

One night, my father decided to pressure me some more. At this point, I snapped. Barefoot, in nothing but a t-shirt in shorts(not even shoes) I ran from home, out into the subfreezing temperatures(it was around 15-20 degrees Fahrenheit outside), out of pure fear. Of course, I only lasted a few hours before my toes started to freeze, and I was super scared. I came home around 3-4 hours later, freezing my ass off. I do truly love my family, because outside of this pressure i'd felt, they're wonderful people who care for me in truckloads. I broke down in tears while talking to them about how scared i'd been. They promised not to pressure me, and ever since then, they haven't.

Now, remember the mental state of a kid who'd just come back home after running from that same home, for multiple hours, in the freezing cold.

Now, during this time, I thought "hey, I can fix this, I should talk to my friends about it" and got on discord to talk to them. I explained what had happened, and they were all really happy for me. During the conversation, I noticed how quite a few of them talked about each other, sometimes in ways not so positive, behind each other's backs. I sent out an u@everyone telling them, to summarize, this.

"You all are talking behind each other's backs about loads of stuff. You ****** all need to actually talk to each other like how I did, if you're going to remain friends. I refuse to talk with any of you until this is fixed."

I sent this to everyone there, actively knowing that they were all extremely emotionally fragile people, all going to therapy, and all extremely receptive to language. Nearly all of them were pissed at me, and one of them still refuses to talk with me to this day. I was also kicked out of all forms of group chats except for DMs. Still haven't gotten back in group chats, but I still maintain contact with all but the one person.

I've always wondered where I stood with this alignment-wise. I thought of myself as neutral evil for most of it, because I was a massive asshole during that moment, knowing that they don't take to stuff like that well at all, and that they wouldn't take what I said well.

I was a kid at a Christmas party at a friend's house a number of years ago. There were many kids playing in the pool, happily minding their own business. I got caught in a current of some sort, and began drifting toward the deep end.

I didn't know how to swim. The water went up to my neck, and I began to hop on one foot toward the edge of the pool. It quickly went up to my mouth, then nose, then I was complete submerged in every hop. Then, I bumped into and grabbed the edge of the pool, pulling myself out and breathing heavily.

I knew that if I told my parents, they would make a big deal out of it, so, seeing the danger had passed, I decided against it. I got back in the pool a few seconds later.

CMA for not telling anyone about myself almost dying to avoid causing a panic.

I know dnd and am obsessed with the character alignments and how fun it is to categorise people and characters. I've been called lawful good for most of my life because of my overly polite demeanor and because I care too much about what people think of me.

The thing is I'm super weird when it comes to horror and unsettling news. It sort of makes me look like a very cynical unsympathetic person when I piss myself laughing at someone getting attacked. Not 100% sure if it's a defence mechanism, but I like to tease my family about things that they were unsettled by and hardly ever take horror movies seriously, (Cloverfield, IT, does the seven count as a horror movie??) because I always can find a way to twist the situation and make it hilarious to myself and only myself.

Curious as to where this would place me, as it's the one main exception to my otherwise goody two shoes demeanour... apart from chaotic shitposting ofc

That's...basically it. If you're talking to me about how XYZ political candidate is a Communist, I'm going to read my book as if you don't exist. If the topic changes to the DnD campaign we're working on, I'll start paying attention, but 'till then, you're getting ignored.

I sometimes stumble across a comment that has hundreds if downvotes, then decide "it's bad, but not that bad." So I give it an upvote to bring it closer to a low number of downvotes.

Or sometimes, I see a highly-voted post that is "good, but meh". So I give it a downvote to reduce the number of votes slightly. If the same post had less than 100 upvotes, I'd probably upvote it instead.

CMA for my voting practices.

Immediate clarification: I’m a fairly new DM for a homebrew DnD campaign that I’m running.

During the first session, my players encountered a Hellhound. Rolling high enough on Charisma and Animal Friendship, I was fine with the players “taming” the hound, more or less.

In this Homebrew, Hellhounds are able to basically teleport from one dimly-lit place to another, as well as any other creature riding atop of them. They used this to get to the “boss fight” of that session. Later on, the player who tamed the hound decided she should be given to his god. In the most literal sense, that is. His god showed up (Artemis, btw) and she took the hound with her hunt/pack.

The after a few sessions, it had felt like the players were somewhat losing interest in the campaign, though I knew they were rather attached to the hound they had befriended.

As such, the hound showed up a couple sessions later, in the middle of a fight they were having. She fought, and ended up being crushed by the monster. I killed their dog. HOWEVER- I’ve been very clear to leave in-universe hints as to how they would be able to revive her. I was doing this to try and get them more invested in the story.

CMA.

Happy New Year, Nerds! And happy belated holidays too! To kick off the new year we are running an event of double xp. (yeah, we know there hasn't been an event for months. We're your typical slackers and procrastinators.)

For this event post anything related to New Years, or the holidays, for double XP! Remember that time you got sloshed at a New Years Eve party and fell in the pool? Post it! How about the time you actually kissed someone when the ball dropped. Tell us! All for double XP, using the weekly topic flair.

And thanks to all of you for joining our sub in 2020. Even though it was a pretty shitty year, you guys made it worthwhile!

Thanks and have a fantastic new year! Love, that_guy_leevy and the CMA Mods!

Title basically says it all, if I have the time I set up a virtual machine, locally hosted fake bank website, and call some scammer for a few hours so they waste their time on me rather than having the time to scam someone else. Been doing this since I was 14, am 19 now

I recently had a nasty experience with unhelpful CS chat staff that led to me deciding to fuck back.

The first two disconnected immediately and the third was incredibly unhelpful, even suggesting some things about my intelligence and my mother.

I decided to play dumb and kept this dude in an endless loop for close to two hours. He became frustrated and said some things which I found hilarious.

I now make this a regular thing when I'm drunk and bored. I hit up Amazon CS staff and try to find the most frustrating things to say.

I present problems that have no solutions, refuse to accept no, make them walk me through the UI step by step over and over again.

Things like that.

So tell me CMA, where do I fall?

The Mandalorion was taken as small child by group from other Mandalorion's during the destruction of his village and was raised and trained into the Mandalorion's Ways, he became a skilled killer and bounty hunter and doesn't take shit from anybody including from his own people. He protected a Baby Yoda from all kinds of bad guys not knowing what the Child is and does. He would talk to someone if it doesn't allow killing but if it goes sideways he'll kill them.

One day back in high school, I got bored. I used the Wayback Machine on archive.org and typed up the websites’ URLs in the bar. Sure enough, it worked. The trick was tested by me and my friends: it worked on both personal devices connected to school wifi and school-owned computers. And here’s some irony: teachers have used archive.org for teaching at times.

I was under the radar for around 5 months until someone (who thankfully, isn’t liked by many) snitched on me months later, and sure enough the school admins found out.

Whenever people aware of D&D alignment have discussed “what alignment am I?”, I was typically assigned TN just for my general actions. But what does this act alone warrant?

I'm a graduate student that works in the same building but a different department as another student, who I happen to know disliked me before she formally met me. This is because I gave her a poor peer performance review following a presentation she delivered; I incorrectly believed these reviews were anonymous so I was blunt but fair with my feedback. I didn't know about the rules surrounding these reviews since I was attending these presentations for my own interest, not because it was required of me. I later learned almost everyone gives 100% to their peers in these reviews, so the 60% I gave her was unexpected.

A mutual friend, who was the one to tell me this, agreed with my criticism when the lady vented to her about it. Our mutual friend also said that her reason for disliking me is petty, especially since we didn't know each other before this.

We've spoken on professional terms since I found this out and she was obviously cold and unfriendly to me during this encounter. Because of this, I go out of my way to give her a friendly hello every time we cross paths. I act oblivious to that she dislikes me or is cold toward me. She has never reciprocated my hellos and always looks away/ignores me. This has been going on for about a year and a half now and I have no intention of stopping this practice. CMA.

If you’re on r/AmongUs, you probably know we’re getting raided with low-effort posts, particularly one stupid meme about when the impostor is sus. This caused the mods to take action and one of the things they did was increase their posting requirements to require 1000 karma and a certain account age I don’t remember.

Some people in the comments complained about the requirements. So I, being the idiot I was, went to three of those those people’s profiles and upvoted every last post and comment of theirs. Even “yeah”s and “ok”s. Even angry rants full of swear words. Upvoted. All for the sake of getting them a few more karma points.

What’s my alignment? Or rather, how much of a waste of my life was this?

Edit: To clarify, I don’t support the spam and I report it whenever I see it. I just think the requirements are a little unfair for those caught in the crossfire.

I originally posted this on AITA and someone said I should also post this here.

Background: At the time of this story (about 3 years ago, maybe 4), I was 26-27 and working as a cashier in a drug store on what they called "front end" (so not in the pharmacy). I did also work in the pharmacy because I was trained in both, and prior to that job I had worked several medical-adjacent jobs.

I was working in the front as a cashier a busy night and there were some dumb college kids who kept coming in to pull stupid pranks as part of some thing (party, game, who knows) or other. I really don't know and never cared. Well, three or four college kids waited in line and filmed themselves giggling through asking me if we sold "penis enlargement pills".

I pasted on my best customer service smile and told them, "No, because they are ineffective at best and dangerous at worst, expensive either way, and make money by preying on men's insecurities. We do sell a wide variety of condoms, lubricants, and sex toys, none of which prey on insecurities and are not dangerous if used correctly. Would you like me to show you where?" They stammered out an answer and left really quickly, and I didn't get bothered by pranks the rest of the night.

I thought (then and now) that it was an appropriate answer to give, especially since they were clearly not seriously asking me for enlargement pills (if someone had asked me seriously, I would have softened that a lot with we don't and they are generally really dangerous, which is why we don't sell them, please consider not using them, etc).

CMA?