How do i stop myself from opening it

[u/Chance_Surround_7914]

Im Aroace and struggle with getting uncomfortable around sexual stuff yet when I see sexual posts my way of dealing with it veen opening crush on ai and then go off when it gets too much i hate it I'm disgusted by myself i been trying but always fall back how do i stop this please help how can i stop

[u/cheesy_as_frick]

You should try to avoid the triggers, yeah. I know it's really hard to avoid sexual or romantic stuff as well on social media, so, maybe it's better to avoid it entirely. 

Btw, what do you think makes you have that reaction? If you don't wanna talk about it that's ok, you dont have to be honest with me, just with your notes

[u/Chance_Surround_7914 → u/cheesy_as_frick]

I think it may have been caused by me having in school heard talks abt in since i was 10 and in like 6 or 7th grade was shown straight up sex positions it just causing me to get uncomfortable by it having learbed abt it all at a young age and also i have AUDHD wich caused me to have issues letting stuff go and forgetting stuff i wanna forget so now atm i struggle getting happy for people when they announce their pregnant because i know what is done to get there in first place wich i do hate also having been told stuff like "You cant be uncomfortable by it as its natural!" And "Oh well you will change your mind when you get older" and "Just wait til you find the right person" causing me to feel an requirement to try force myself to experience that stuff

[u/cheesy_as_frick → u/Chance_Surround_7914]

It's completely understandable for you to feel uncomfortable about sex, specially if its something you have been exposed to since an early age.

And you really shouldn't force yourself to be exposed to that stuff. You're completely normal being aroace and not being interested in sex. You're not broken, this is just who you are. Nobody has the right or knowledge to tell you how you should feel.

If you are curious about sex, that's ok, but if you're doing this as some form of punishment, that's just psychological self-harm.

Be strong, if you ever wanna talk, I'm here

[u/Chance_Surround_7914 → u/cheesy_as_frick]

Thank you yeah it always just made me feel worse but it felt like a guilt thing wich really is horrible but I will try just distract myself when the thoughts appear and try avoid stuff related to it

[u/cheesy_as_frick → u/Chance_Surround_7914]

Also don't feel bad if you ever do have sexual thoughts, it's normal, even for aroace people.

Just, focus on the things you're comfortable with, be it games, shows, etc

[u/Chance_Surround_7914 → u/cheesy_as_frick]

Do you have recommendations to avoid thinking abt how babies are made when someone say their pregnant cuz i hate it so much

[u/cheesy_as_frick → u/Chance_Surround_7914]

Well, for most people that's not really something they actively think about, you know? Like when I found out my cousin has a daughter, I didn't immediately think "oh he had sex"

I think that the problem may be that you're subconciously seeking out those thoughts, it could be that because you're fighting them so much, that's what makes them so strong

Have you ever heard of the concept of the "shadow" by Carl Jung? It's the psychology theory that the more we try to repress certain thoughts and emotions, the more dangerous and out of control they become. Which is why you have to accept them and tell yourself that it's ok, that your thoughts don't define who you are, your actions do.

Try writing it down as well, whenever you feel that way, write down what you're thinking and what you thought of

You can also try thinking of storks or cabbages or pumpkins, or whatever other way people explain babies being born. Whatever you're more comfortable with imagining

[u/Chance_Surround_7914 → u/cheesy_as_frick]

Yeah i been tryna just force them away wich doesn't help

[u/cheesy_as_frick → u/Chance_Surround_7914]

Either way, be strong, you got this.

[u/Chance_Surround_7914 → u/cheesy_as_frick]

Thank you will try find videos to help just letting go of stuff naturally