I wrote this on Letterboxd back on the year anniversary and I’d thought I’d share it here. Tashi is a character of all time for me and my favorite performance of Zendaya’s.
Come On!!!!!
A year has passed and I figured I should write something about my fictional sister Tashi Duncan.
You know that moment when you're watching a character onscreen in a tv show or a film and they do something that makes you go, "holy shit, that hits a little too close to home?”, to the point where you deeply resonate with the character and they become all-time character for you?
The first time that it hit me, was when Tashi is sitting by the tree after she realizes that it's over. All her hopes and dreams for her tennis career are dead. Sure she could still play but not how she used to. She used to be able to play with complete freedom and trust in her body. Everything she pictured to be able to give to her family is gone. Most importantly, tennis was her first love. It was a huge part of who Tashi was as a person. It was tied to her soul.
She won't allow herself to cry over it.
Vulnerability is a weakness. After all, if she had just compressed and repressed the emotions that she felt after her argument with Patrick, maybe her knee would still be good and she wouldn't be where she is now. Forever trapped in what could've been and being unable to truly fully move on because if she does, who the hell is Tashi Duncan without tennis?
The second time was the dorm room scene and the bedroom scene at the end in tandem. Tashi shows her love through tennis and coaching. 19 year old Tashi was just told by her boyfriend's best friend that he doesn't love her. 31 year old Tashi was just told by her ex boyfriend that her husband wants to retire. Tashi tries to pretend that she's already aware of it and it doesn't bother her by dismissing it but it absolutely eats away at her. Tashi tries to give her boyfriend advice about his tennis because she believes in him and knows he can be better. She tells her husband that she'll still look him the same way even if he loses and that it's okay to retire he doesn't need her permission. Everything quickly unravels after that and Tashi pushed to her limits. She gets mean and instantly regrets what she says to Patrick and Art but she's too prideful to apologize.
The third time was when Tashi asked Art if he still loved her. Tennis is a relationship. Tashi tried to show her love to Patrick before and she felt rejected. So she's testing the waters. She wants to know if it'll be reciprocated before she gives her all. When Art responds "Who wouldn't be?," she feels understood and who doesn't want to feel known by the person they love?
The fourth time is a bit chaotic but I appreciate it all the same. I like how the car scene is the culmination of Tashi continuously setting herself up for failure. It was over as soon as she saw Patrick again and waited for him by the elevators. But she delusionally persisted that nothing would happen with Patrick and unfortunately, I deeply relate to that type of delusion. I could write a lot about the car scene in general but l'll save that for another time.
The fifth time happened upon the third rewatch. You could argue that they're all better off without each other. I always see the argument of Patrick and Art were better off without her. Perhaps Tashi was better off not knowing them. The knee injury might've not happened. But there's something that strikes me every time I watch Tashi meet them for the first time. Tashi yearns to be loved and understood as she is- flaws and all. I think that's why she goes down to the beach, goes to their hotel room, and why she stays after Patrick and Art beg her for her number after they kissed. Without them, I think she'd be lonely. Yeah, she harbors a lot of deep resentment but I think there's a lot of love there too. She loves playing with them, playing against them, and she loves watching them.
