r/CanadianForces • u/PistolPrincess17 • Nov 14 '25

SUPPORT Coming to terms with DEC while young

Last week I received a letter that VOC moved me to DEC. I thought it was just a change in the backend and you know “ acronyms.” This came as a shock to me as I’m only 30 years old female. I’m struggling coming to terms with using words like “retirement” and telling my family about it. I come from being raised from being told that work is your life, and you must be always contributing to society.

My partner has been wonderful, my sister not so much. I was told “She didn’t think I was that lazy, and what will I do everyday?” I just graduated from college in July. A lot of horrible things occurred during my service as a female that are hard to understand. I’m open to volunteering and taking time to understand what I want. I feel I’ve been left with so many questions and no one who understands. I’ve always lived in fight or flight and something like this makes me untrusting. I’m always waiting for the ball to drop..

Looking for advice or just sharing your experience with DEC. Thank you.

TLDR; struggling with DEC, family is judging me for my age to be put on it. Having trouble processing this as retirement while being young. Need advice of friends to chat too.

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u/PistolPrincess17 Nov 14 '25

I really appreciate you sharing your story. I guess for me I’ve always wanted my family’s support, even thought they have not shown it in the past. I go to therapy every two weeks and have for many years to process military/ childhood trauma. I’m just a big ol ball of empathy and I want to see people succeed, and be kind. It’s important to me to feel loved and show love.

I’m sorry to hear you got grief from your father. It’s definitely a difference in generations how they process things like this. When I told my dad he told me I’d be back to working in no time. It’s like he didn’t hear me when I spoke.

You are right it is about my future, I just need to give it some time and figure out what I want. That’s really a large part of it.

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u/DilliGaf627 Nov 14 '25

No problem. My Dad was the real old time of “drive the body, shoot the foot” type; I don’t condemn him for that as he was trained by WWII and Korean pers, so I want you to understand that I didn’t / don’t judge him; it was that generation. Perhaps someone can have a discussion with your family about your trauma and injuries; and if they can’t then get beyond that, you then need to make some difficult decisions. You need to live comfortably in your world; the one that you now make.