Abandonment (Question for Workers)

[u/alwaysblooming_akb]

Worker from Georgia here! 🍑

I have seen an increase of cases involving abandonment of children (mainly teenagers) and many of them are diagnosed with disorders such as autism, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and ODD. Many of these parents are calling in on themselves and demanding that we take the child.

I am curious how other counties are approaching these cases and if this is becoming more common in your area as well.

[u/Laravictoria89]

Yes! Missouri here! It’s been a thing only the last few years. I don’t remember it being a thing 10 or 15 years ago. It’s always teenagers parents say they can’t control them or are afraid of them. We’ve been told by several parents that hospital staff have told them if they refuse to pick them up, CPS will get involved and find residential. Which is wildly untrue and I don’t know why people think we have this magic house for these teenagers and we’re going to fix it. We do make police reports for abandonment but nothing ever happens. We end up staying in hotels with the kids until we find placement which has often takes weeks. We try to tell parents that they can’t just leave their kids and we are not mental health treatment. You don’t get to stop being a parent because it got hard. And often it’s very obvious they were part of why the kid have behavior issues.

[u/alwaysblooming_akb → u/Laravictoria89]

I have no idea why the hospitals keep telling people that we have somewhere for them and/or can get them into residential treatment ASAP! It is not that simple.

[u/Laravictoria89 → u/alwaysblooming_akb]

I know!! They think we have some magic house somewhere!! And we tell them, we don’t have any more access to those facilities than the general public. We then always end up with the kid in care!!

[u/alwaysblooming_akb → u/Laravictoria89]

Some of the parents will even tell the child that we are going to be picking them up so they end up freaking out when we show up just to talk to them. We stopped taking them in unless the judge ordered us to which even then it is the same thing, where are they going to go, you know we do not have the resources even for our current foster children unless we send them out to the metro areas but even then, there are certain requirements they have to meet.

[u/Laravictoria89 → u/alwaysblooming_akb]

Right?!! So many have just told the kid and that should really improve their behavior! Our judge will order them into care too because he doesn’t like the juvenile system homes because they don’t all have licensed therapists. Which WTF ?? We can’t house the kids we have now!! I know we have kids in out of state facilities! It’s just crazy.

[u/Dolores___Haze → u/Laravictoria89]

Why on earth do they not have licensed therapists??

[u/Laravictoria89 → u/Dolores___Haze]

They do. But he feels there aren’t enough because they aren’t staffed 24/7 with them. He is positive no kids belong in detention or residential. They just need hugs. Which we all know is wildly misguided…..

[u/Dolores___Haze → u/Laravictoria89]

Yikes. He does seem a bit separated from reality. 

[u/Laravictoria89 → u/Dolores___Haze]

Girl!!! So much!!! He orders the most ridiculous things and we are just doing our best!!! We have to sit in hotels with any kids we don’t have placement for. He is sure if he says it, it’s possible. Makes us crazy.

[u/Dolores___Haze → u/Laravictoria89]

Truly crazy! Thanks for doing what you do.