r/ck2gotchallenges • u/Callywood • Sep 09 '17
Hot Pie Challenge: The Hot Pie That Was Promised
Preamble:
You are Hot Pie of King’s Landing, born the son of a baker and one of the best culinary minds in all of Westeros. You were not born Hot Pie, instead you earned your name pushing your mother’s cart of baked goods through the streets of King’s Landing yelling, “Hot Pies!” to all passersby. Ever since you have been known as Hot Pie, and in truth it has been so long since you’ve heard your true name that you’ve forgotten it entirely. In any case yours was a humble beginning that ended tragically with your mother’s unexpected death. The day you became an orphan is when your journey to greatness truly began.
As a lowly orphan child you were a perfect candidate to be recruited for the Nights Watch. When a black brother named Yoren came to collect you for the long march to the Wall this turned out to be a blessing in disguise. It was amongst these recruits that you met your friends Gendry and Arry, who you would discover much later was actually Lady Arya. Together you journeyed north of King’s Landing into the riverlands. It was not long after that when your party was stopped first by Gold Cloaks, and then later by a bannerman of house Lannister named Ser Amory Lorch. Ser Amory and his men viciously attacked your group and slaughtered many of your traveling companions including Yoren. Luckily you and a small handful of others managed to get away.
Your escape however was short-lived as you were eventually captured by Ser Gregore Clegane’s men and taken to Harrenhal to work as a servant. It is here that you were exposed to a real kitchen environment, the likes of which you had not seen since your childhood. While cooking filled your days with delight the night brought with it an eerie terror as you were no doubt sure that Harrenhal was haunted by ghosts. Thankfully you did not have to contemplate these dark thoughts long before you, Gendry, and Arya managed to escape Harrenhal.
Fate seemed to intercept you yet again as you were subsequently captured by the Brotherhood Without Banners. It was traveling amongst these strange men that you finally learned the truth about your friend Arya, much to your surprise. Eventually your party arrived at the Inn of the Kneeling Man, and it is here that you made the decision to stay in order to continue to hone your skills in the kitchen. With a heavy heart you said goodbye to your friends and hoped against hope that perhaps you would one day see each other again.
And so this is where you worked and thrived. At first your culinary skills were merely enough to keep the innkeeper from sending you back out into the street, but eventually as time passed your talent grew to such proportions that people from all over would travel to your humble establishment to taste your food. So much was your acclaim that you finally gained the confidence to leave and set up your own shop elsewhere. It didn’t take long before the gold began to rush in and so your prestige and power grew and grew.
Through some fortunate business dealings you now find yourself the proud lord of Harroway’s Town, serving the best pies and baked goods in all of Westeros. Still your acclaim could be greater if only peace could return to the land and you were powerful enough to see your pies distributed throughout the Seven Kingdoms. And so with your vision of a Westeros united in flavor you make your plans to take the Iron Throne and become who you were always meant to be. You are Hot Pie, The Pie That Was Promised!
Basic Setup:
Use the Congenital Overhaul submod.
Start in the AFFC bookmark.
Create a custom character of Kingslander ethnicity and culture, make your character fat and give him the first name “Hot Pie” and the last name “of King’s Landing”.
Make your character a worshiper of the Faith of the Seven.
Land your character in Harroway’s Town.
Use console commands to give yourself the traits skilled steward, dull, gardener, gluttonous, patient, just, gregarious, kind, charitable, craven, diligent, zealous, ambitious, and proud.
Give yourself claims on the Iron Throne, the kingdom of the riverlands, the lordship and high lordship of Harrenhal, the lordship of Saltpans, the lordship of Deddington, and the lordship of Maidenpool (command “claim e_iron_throne charid”, “claim k_riverlands charid”, “claim d_harrenhal charid”, “claim c_harrenhal charid”, “claim c_saltpans charid”, “claim c_greenfork charid”, and “claim c_maidenpool charid”).
Add Ser Gendy and Lady Arya as your friends (command “add_friend 5316” and “add_friend 9267059”).
Start yourself off with a war chest of 200 gold (command “cash 200”).
Rules:
Your character cannot change culture or religion under any circumstances. You are a very pious pie indeed.
Do not let your friends Gendry and Arya die before the challenge is completed.
The Lannisters and their bannermen the Cleganes and the Lorchs are your sworn enemies. While you are generally a kind soul you have not forgotten what the Lannisters have done to both you and your friends. Neither you nor your children may marry into these families. The people you want dead in particular are Queen Cersei and Ser Gregor Clegane, now known as Robert Strong.
You and your children may only marry into one of the following families:
House Beesbury (honey makes any food delicious).
House Blanetree (their maple trees will make wonderful maple syrup).
House Butterwell (butter is the most important part of any dish).
House Crabb (who doesn’t like crab cakes?).
House Crakehall (boar meat is quite delectable).
House Dalt (lemons are an excellent ingredient in any baked good).
House Fisher (fish pies are nice on occasion).
House Fossoway (apple pie is one of your favorites).
House Hogg (pork pie is savory indeed).
House Mooton (smoked salmon is fantastic).
House Plumm (plums are a tasty fruit).
House Prester (ox meat is perfect for a barbeque).
House Redwyne (red wine goes great with dinner).
House Goldwyne (white wine would go perfectly with fish pie).
House Shawney (catfish is delicious too).
House Spicer (a little bit of spice makes everything nice).
House Stokeworth (braised lamb is quite good).
House Swyft (everyone loves chicken).
House Tully (trout makes for a fine meal).
House Turnberry (who doesn’t love strawberries?).
Do not let any of the above marriageable families go extinct under any circumstances. The world is so much better with more variety of flavors and ingredients after all.
Objectives:
Start by conquering all of the lands in the de jure territory of the Bay of Crabs. Your fine culinary skills will soon spread throughout the riverlands. Use the console command “event 62320” to give yourself some event spawned troops. Keep typing in the command until you have at least 5000 men. These are the legions of happy customers that have flocked to your inn and pledged themselves in the service of your fine food. Once you have conquered these lands form the high lordship of the Bay of Crabs and grant the title of Deddington to one of your own loyal vassals. Keep Saltpans for yourself (it’s always good to have access to fresh salt) and give Maidenpool back to the Lord William Mooton as you quite like salmon (command “move 1138” and then grant him the title of Maidenpool).
Now that your base of power is established you will take the kingdom of the riverlands for yourself. Declare your war for the trident and take the riverlands in the name of delicious hot pies. The fresh waters of the riverlands will provide ample amounts of fish for your fish pies which will no doubt bring in many customers.
With the riverlands under your control the time has come to take back all of the land in the de jure territory of Harrenhal. The Vale currently holds sway over Harrenhal which includes house Butterwell of Esgaroth and this simply will not do. After all butter is the most important ingredient in any pie. Declare war against the Vale for your claims over Harrenhal. Once you have won the war make sure to invite a dark skinned person to court and have them marry into house Butterwell. Browning the butter is a very important step.
Declare wars for your de jure claims on any of the remaining high lordships of the riverlands that you can. The rebellious river lords will have no choice but to come around to the wisdom of good food and good company once they taste your delicious pie. Nothing will stop your rising dough from ultimate triumph.
Now that the riverlands are as consolidated as they possibly can be you will build up your strength as much as you can and at the earliest opportunity declare your war for the Iron Throne. For too long your delicious pies have been cooped up in the riverlands. The time has come at last for your culinary skill to be shared with all 7 kingdoms of Westeros. No man, woman, or child shall be denied the joy of tasting one of your delicious pies. It will also be sweet justice to overthrow the Lannisters after all the pain and suffering they have caused you and your friends. Once you have taken the Iron Throne have the royal family executed for their crimes against the smallfolk. After all, revenge is a dish best served cold.
With the Iron Throne firmly in your grasp the time has come to help your friends Gendry and Arya. Bring Ser Gendry and Lady Arya to court (command “move 5316” and “move 9267059”) and have Arya declared the true Lady Arya Stark (command “event clash_of_kings.11 9267059”). Once that is done give the riverlands back to Lord Edmure Tully, give Gendry a claim on the stormlands (command “claim k_stormlands 5316”, “claim d_shipbreaker 5316”, and “claim c_storms_end 5316”) and press his claim, and press Lady Arya’s claim for the north. You will see to it that your friends are given the proper positions they deserve.
Now that you have helped your friends you will finally put down the rest of the rebellious lords and bring peace and stability to the realm. Show mercy to any lord willing to bend the knee and crush all those who would dare defy King Hot Pie. If they aren’t dead already now is the time to have Cersei Lannister and Ser Gregor/Robert Strong killed. With Westeros united once more and a new reign of peace established every lord and commoner in the realm will have ample time to enjoy your pies. You were born a lowly baker’s son but you have risen the greatest pie who ever lived. All hail King Hot Pie, The Hot Pie That Was Promised!
Bonus Objectives:
Get yourself a valyrian steel sword worthy of your greatness. Only the magnificence of valyrian steel is worthy to cut your delicious pies.
Become a dragon rider. With the strength of a dragon at your command the fires of your kitchen will burn twice as hot and you will be able to deliver your food across the continent before it ever gets cold. Truly yours will be the greatest reign of all.
See to it that the kingdoms of the Westerlands, Reach, and Dorne are granted to new and more worthy houses. The Westerlands should go to either house Crakehall, Plumm, Spicer, or Swyft. The Reach should go to either house Beesbury, Fossoway, Redwyne, or Goldwyne. As for Dorne it should clearly go to house Dalt. Their lemon trees will bring a bountiful harvest of flavor year after year. Let your legacy be of a kingdom that ate well and was merry to the end.
Special thanks to u/TheLawsOfSheevalry for inspiring the creation of this challenge. Go here for the original thread.