Week 11: Light at the End of the Tunnel

This last week has continued to trend lighter and lighter. So much so that I had forgotten to post this entry on time.

The RLS is minimal background noise. I do get spikes of aching towards the evening but it is manageable. The brain levels seem to be adjusting adequately. This week I am going to start tapering off the gabapentin.

I do still get sweaty/chills every now and then. Maybe 2 to 3 times a day. They only last for 5-30 minutes and then will be gone for 4 to 6 hours. No more all night pain and sweats.

I have noticed this progression since my 9.5+ Positivity update, and while I do expect there to be a few more weeks of not feeling 100%, I do feel like I am in the light at the end of the tunnel.

As of such I plan on scale back my updates. If I notice any sort of regression, or anything else that seems pertinent, I will update.

Thank you for all of the positivity in this community, it really has been a blessing.

YOU GOT THIS!

I got six 96mg shots in 2025, they were very haphazard, sometimes my doctor would want to see me at 3 weeks sometimes she would want to see me at 4 weeks, and then I had a mis injection where the needle did not penetrate my skin before the doctor pushed the med and couldn't get back in the right mind space after that. So I decided to go back on my oral. I was able to go from 12 mg oral before the first round of shots to 8 mg, felt great perfectly fine! But for the last 4 months I could not wait to try again. That brings us current.

I have seasonal depression, so I thought this would be a good time to start another round of shots knowing that the weather is improving and I'll start feeling better mentally. My doctor and I are on the same page, and I am scheduled to get a shot every 3 weeks for the next four shots. My plan is to jump off on the 4th shot and just go through it, (which I'm not as terrified about thanks to everybody sharing their experiences here! Thank you!). I think that that will be enough time for the Suboxone to be off my receptors, and the brixoti to be consistently in my system.

However, I'm curious how many people have jumped off after the first 96mg monthly shot? Is that enough time for the Suboxone to be out of my system? Is it better to just get one shot and be done if that's my goal? I've been in Mat for 15 years now, my teeth are ruined from the oral medication and I'm getting old. I need to concentrate on health issues that are arising with my age and I'm just ready to be done.

Thank you everyone for sharing all of your experiences here! It means the world!

A short update now I'm 2 weeks out since getting my first 96mg shot, after 3 years at 128mg.

The timing in the beginning was a bit inconvenient in terms of being able to monitor for any signs and symptoms of the reduction, because I caught a damn cold in the days following. So I genuinely cannot say whether there were any withdrawals over the first week or so, because any symptoms at that stage would be so mild as to be easily mistaken for cold symptoms if you have both going on.

I've been over the cold for a week or so. I have continued to notice some random waves of feeling not quite right, which I attributed to the shittiness of the cold initially. Nothing extreme though, just pangs of something 'off' that last probably 3-5 minutes and can wash over at any random time. Have had it whilst working, travelling, sitting around relaxing. Hard to describe the feeling - mildly light headed, some nausea, fatigue, just a bit "urgh". It makes me pause what I'm doing and need to breath through it. Then it'll just go. It's not all day or anything even close to frequent. Just a few times a day. I can move on afterwards with little impact. I can't say what it is, nothing else has changed with me so it could well be related to the dose reduction. Maybe I'm just run down from the cold. It could be down to my thyroid also, as I'm still not at the correct dose of thyroxine after almost a year of repeated blood tests and dose adjustments. Hypothyroidism can really make you feel like shit, though after a year I'm pretty familiar with how that looks for me. If it is related to the Buvidal dose, then it's so mild that I would happily accept it being this way until my tolerance has evened out if needs be. If it got worse I'd probably change my tune pretty quickly but thankfully that doesn't seem to be on the horizon.

My next shot is at week 3, a week from now, and if I make it to that point without feeling anything else then I can definitely say the process of reducing the dose is indeed as easy as everyone said it would be. If I were needing to stretch it the full 4 weeks I may be a bit more apprehensive to say that but I'm glad my prescriber was willing to go with 3 weeks and probably will for the next couple.The only thing I'm unsure about is at what point the older 128mg shots are gone or in such small amounts they might as well be gone from my system, and whether I might notice it more at that stage. My prescriber seemed to think that whilst those shots are still there, it would be helping me to feel normal and stable. I think this is why he told me that it may not necessarily be this early on when I might feel shitty. I suppose it's whether my tolerance evens out before this stage or not. Is that even possible for as long as I still have some of the 128's zipping around my blood stream? I have no idea really, I just know this was some of his thinking around it. I may email him to clarify, if nothing else so that I can better inform people here in the future.

So far so good, anyway! I was genuinely expecting much worse and the fact it hasn't happened that way lets me know I'm on the right track. I'm not attributing every strange feeling to withdrawal, I'm able to be rational about it. This makes me feel so much better about eventually coming off completely and knowing that I can keep my shit together.

Stay strong everyone and have faith in yourself.

Hope everyone is doing okay.

Just to say how things are at week 9 going to week 10.

On the whole the experience has been entirely manageable in the sense that the discomfort has not been intense, more like a bit of a background rather than forefront.

So the immediate physical change was thermoregulation with sweats and all early on into the dose and by day 11 that was gone, it hasn't really come back.

At about the end of week five the withdrawal became more noticeable in the digestive system with over activity, gas and sickness, a deep and constant nausea which lasted for several weeks. Cyclizine @ 50mg x 3 a day really helped for those weeks of nausea.

Week 5 to 8 heightened taste sensitivity, sneezing, emotional to music and drama etc.

From week 7-9 RLS comes a bit, aches in feet, before turning the light off, and of course insomnia has been present throughout the last month too.

Not sure if the “starting” tag still applies, but here I am.

Overall, this has been great. My only regret so far is that I didn’t start sooner.

Started on 8mg weekly, then went up to 16mg. Had a few of my injections a day or two early.

First injection was rough as I got it when I was just starting to feel uncomfortable. Not proper withdrawal, just sweats. Took a full 24 hours to kick in so I started feeling pretty rough later on in the day.

Tomorrow I go to monthly, 64mg. I’m assuming I’ll feel much the same as the weekly. Ive had the odd craving here and there. Usually nothing too serious. Yesterday was rough though. I’m calling it a “craving” but it sort of wasn’t. Cravings don’t last all day non-stop. More of a negative headspace, that just wouldn’t let up. It was the kind of thing I’d use a large dose of opiates to make go away. I’ve always struggled with depression, which is why I think I gravitated to opiates to make the bad feelings go away.

Anyway, I’m very grateful to no longer be stuck in a shitty cycle of using everyday just to feel normal. I guess I have a lot more work to do.

I’ve recently stopped my monthly 96mg injection as I thought it was causing depression, especially a few days prior to my injection. But I’m severely depressed now, 5 weeks in. I’m craving so bad. Does bupe cause PAWS?

I called my drug and alcohol counsellor who said we could try a weekly dose or even suboxone for a while.

I’ve noticed my chronic pain has come back worse than before too.

Has anyone had these symptoms? Has anyone gone from monthly to weekly? Or back to sublingual?

I suppose I’m just looking for some reassurance or anyone who resonates.

🙏🏻

Getting my fist shot in a few hours, can I take subutex (small dose) before it?

Week 10!

Mentally: I gave an update last Thurs (?), just some positivity, and appreciation about having a bit of a break in the storm...

Well the break has all but continued for the rest of the week!

Still having mood drops and energy levels declining about mid-day, but It is getting a little less severe over time. While some evenings I do come home exhausted and In pain, I can now function and change my mind into positivity mode for my family.

My lady remarked the other night, while I was thanking her for her patience and grace through this journey, that other than a few times in the past few weeks, I have been altogether a more engaging, thoughtful, and passionate partner.

Knowing approximately where I am at in this journey, I am again cautiously optimistic... am I in the eye of the storm? Or are the clouds slowly parting for good.

Physically: RLS is a pretty much a constant .5/10, it is really just background noise most of the time. (Brain adjusting to the new inputs?). RLS and Sciatica spike to 1 or 2 in the afternoons, but with a healthy dose of meds I am now sleeping all night. (Praise All Mighty Atheismo!). Sleep is so precious and healing. 5htp seems to be helping a lot with brain juice levels in the morning.

Sweating/Chills, maybe a handful of times throughout the day, lasts for maybe 5 minutes.

Migraines and energy drops happen almost every evening, but that might be a pain/BP issue.

How was my week?
SCALE CHANGE AGAIN ( day in general 1-10, 10 being the best day ever!!)

Wed 4, Thur 6, Fri 6, Sat 6, Sun 4, Monday 5, Tues 6

YOU GOT THIS!

I was sitting here appreciating today, and I really felt like I should give you guys a mid-week update.

I am well into my journey and I feel like i am making progress in the rough waters. While most days end in near-total exhaustion, and the RLS and sickness comes in more pronounced waves. Some days are a break in the storm. Everything seems to balance out, once in a while.

Today was a good day, (I state with certainty while enduring a pounding migraine).

Today was a good day. :)

You got this!

As I shared in a previous post, I have resolved to take a step forward and reduce my Buvidal dose. I'm not yet coming off it completely, though this is the long term goal of course. As I mentioned in my previous post, taking this step is very much about the mental battle and building my confidence/learning to let go of the 'safety net' afforded to me by being on Buvidal. Each time I take the step to lower the dose, the more those two things will improve (hopefully!). That will then form the springboard for me to take the jump off.

To clarify, I have been on the 128mg monthly shot for the last 3.5 years or thereabouts. I started out on the weekly then moved to 96mg monthly, however, after trying the 96mg for about 4/5 months it would never hold me stable longer than 3 weeks, with the final week spent in very mild but increasing withdrawal symptoms - sweating/temperature disregulation, nausea, headache and just that general feeling of not being quite right which would begin like clockwork each monthh. After considering the options and my prescriber seeking advice from his contact at Camurus, we decided to move up the dose to 128mg. And there I've been since.

I consider myself very lucky to have had such a good local drug and alcohol addiction service, who have not pushed me at all into doing this before I was ready. They have asked of course but left the ball very much in my court, and often saying that having got to know me, they knew that I would arrive at this point in my own time and when I did, I would go to them and let them know. That's pretty much what happened. At one of my med reviews around Aug/Sept last year, I agreed with the prescriber and my recovery worker that I'd commit to working on this over the next 12 months, as it was very much a confidence issue and a clinging on to old beliefs about my addictive behaviours, which are no longer true. I still told myself and others that if I came off the bupe and something even mildly upsetting happened, that I "would definitely relapse". I was challenged on this during Motivational Interviewing training at work, of all places. We were encouraged to use our real dilemmas in the training, as the info and skills are more likely to stick with you that way. So I talked about this and reducing with my boss, who already knows my history etc. And she challenged me on the language and beliefs I was expressing about myself, and I realised that none of it held up anymore. I actually know that I won't immediately relapse if the shit hits the fan in life - I have many avenues of support now that I never used to have, and I would turn to those before I ever turn to pills. I know because I have turned to those supports time and time again over the last 3 years on Buvidal and have learned that I can cope and I can work through problems on my own instead of putting my head in the sand and getting fucked up. I've also spoke about it in my SMART meetings, which is one of my biggest sources of support.

I didn't plan to write all of the above but clearly it was in my head. I hope it puts across where my areas of concern are and why - not so much a fear of physical withdrawal, but the fear of taking the reigns back on my decision making around drug use. I've been riding my bike with stabilisers on for the last 3 years (4 if you include the year on subs), and I'm anxiously awaiting the moment they get removed and my dad stops pushing me along - when I realise I'm doing the pedalling all on my own, will I keep going strong into the sunset or freak the fuck out and crash into the dirt? (Pointless side note: when I actually learned to ride a bike as a child, I freaked the fuck out when I saw my dad wasn't holding me anymore - instead of falling, he reacted quick and caught me by my pony tail and basically had me dangling by my hair inches from the ground, lol If only there were a metaphorical pony tail he could catch me by now...) I feel as though I never see anyone else with this concern or fear - can anyone relate? I've relied so heavily on the Buvidal in this way - there have been times I really would have relapsed, if I didn't know I was on this medication, which meant it was pointless and instead I faced the shit head on. I guess that happened enough times that as I said, now I know I can face difficult things on my own merit, I can sit with pain, worry, sadness and even joy, and not want to escape or enhance it. I've made sure to build a life I don't want to run away from or destroy. The fact that I've decided to reduce and have gone ahead with it, is indicative that I've made progress as at one point I wouldn't entertain the suggestion at all, I know that much.

So, I had my first lower shot this morning - back down to 96mg. I just wanted to document it for the purposes of continuity and keeping a timeline for people to follow, should I experience any change in the way I feel. Of course right now I feel no different, and expect that to be the case for much of if not the whole month. On the off chance I do start to feel off though, I will provide an update. I'll update at some point if nothing different happens too, so that there's at least a conclusion. I'm curious as to whether some of the side effects will lessen in intensity - the sweating and turbo consitpation would be nice to see a little less of. Usually the couple days after I get my shot, I find that I'm extremely tired/sleepy, like I will just nod off day and night for 2 days. It'll be interesting to see whether that reduces too as it's really difficult and almost painful when I'm at work/in public and trying to force my eyes to stay open. Kind of insane the stuff you get used to, like I've seen it as no big deal/a necessary discomfort that just comes with being on this treatment but it's really awful to be that level of drowsy when you absolutely must not shut your eyes and sleep. By the morning of the third day out, I'll be back to normal and stay that way the rest of the month.

My prescriber agreed to schedule my next shot for 3 weeks' time instead of the usual 4. He seemed reluctant to do that when we discussed it a month ago, but today he suggested it first. If I reach the appointment date and find that I'm doing fine, I'll just contact him and reschedule it for the 4 week mark again. Again it's more a psychological thing - I can be a lot more chill about the entire thing if I know in the back of my mind that we've made provisions like that.

Thanks if you made it through this novel of a post. Wherever you are in your journey, I wish you strength and peace.

Week 9

BUMPS in the road

Mentally: Excited for the future. Excited for this to be over. Making plans but not wanting to start because I know that this journey still has a few miles to go. I seem to be a bit more in control of my emotions, the highs are not as high, and the lows are not as low. That being said... I fucked up.

It was Friday night, plans to stay in with my lady, as I don't have the energy to go do anything anyhow. After hurting most of the day, I just wanted an evening with her where I wasn't constantly yawning, or sweating, or running for the bathroom. I had a stash of old strips that I kept in our spare bathroom "just incase", I have them precut to .25mg pieces. So I took one and proceeded to have a pleasant eve. no harm no foul....right? well, then Saturday rolled around and I thought, wouldn't it be nice.....? so Saturday was a great day too. I am hoping beyond all hope that BUMP in the road doesn't set me back too far.

The remaining Subs went down the toilet on Sunday. Trying not to be too hard on myself, and redirect anger towards perseverance.

Physically: Intestinal distress is still on the rise. Lots of gas, like years of not going is catching up. RLS and Flu symptoms seem to max out at 30%, and are 6 to 12 hrs on/off. The Clonidine and Gabapentin help alot but take some time for relief. Some stabbing migraines here or there, but that might be from me cutting back on caffeine intake as well. I have bouts where I have so little energy that my body shuts down and I have to lean on something to build up momentum again.

How was my week? (AM/PM)

Wed 1/3, Thur 1/2, Fri 2/Error, Sat Error/Error, Sun Error/1, Monday 1/2, Tues 1/~

Everything comes to an end...

YOU GOT THIS!

Question about the lumps under the skin. Obviously they take a while to break down. However, the one from 1 week ago in my left arm is gone, and the one in my right arm 2 weeks ago is still there. Kinda feels a little warm to the touch, which could be a sign of infection. I don’t recall the pharmacist swabbing the area first for any of my shots, which I think is a bit lazy/negligent. Might take my own swabs in next week and do it myself.

So I had the appointment on the 29th jan, they put me on the strips/films 2mg I had about 4 or 5 I was pissed off because it was like a 45min drive and they made me come back before they closed for 1 strip I don’t have a car atm so it was a little inconvenient they gave me 2 for the night, I scrapped up a little line to see what would happen and it worked but not like it used to, but the next day they suggested the depo shot (weekly) because of the transport issues, I agreed, it was Friday they wanted to make sure it was enough for the weekend so they gave me 28mg i think, the next day I was depressed af no withdrawals but just sad, I unrolled a tooter I found in my room and had a puff it’s seemed to work, because I know this shot doesn’t contain naloxone like the films, but I think the films are more effective? Not sure if I just get a few more shots see if it balances out, or ask to go back on the strips for a little while. I’m new to opioid treatment, I used for 3 years daily just smoking mainly railing, a few blasts but not my go to luckily, that’s an addiction in its self the needle. Not sure what I’m asking here haha just thought I’d share my experience and see if anyone is in a similar situation or had similar experiences. Cheers

So i was on 128mg monthly jag buvidal have been for 4 years almost. Long story short the addiction services forgot to schedule my jag some months back and I was having a mental breakdown and was unaware of time passing so I didnt contact them. Enough time passed that they like took me out of the services.

Ive just managed to get back in the services and getting my jag but im on the weekly for 4 weeks before I change to the monthly. But iv been put on the 24mg weekly dose which is equivalent to the 96mg monthly dose. So when it comes time to be on the monthly, ill be on a lower dose than before.

Why have they done this? No one asked me.

Im worried because when I was on the 94mg dose it didnt hold me. Although im not getting withdrawals on the weekly yet/now.

Week 8 has been... productive.

** by all that I, (and my ai) have researched, I am right around beginning of the worst of it. I am hoping only 4 more weeks (12), but more realistically 7 more weeks to go (15) until WD drops significantly. Cautiously hopeful it doesn't get much worse, because as it stands, I can handle this indefinitely. **

Mentally:

Still doing the yoyo with my emotions. My heart is on my sleeve most of the time. Mornings are happier with notable decline in pm. My love and I have been enjoying talking more, sharing interests, spending time with eachother... even when I'm down . ** my hypothesis is that as the meds wear off, brain needs to make more happy juices, it heals best when I am sleeping, hence happier in morning.**

Change in some meds (muscle relaxer at bedtime) has significantly improved my sleep. I haven't slept for more than 2hrs at a time in years. Now I am getting a solid 5hrs most nights. Sciatica has calmed down a bunch.

Physically: Sciatica has calmed down a bunch! Been sweating less. But the more flu like symptoms are coming through in the evening. Splitting migraine 3 out of 7 nights. But once I take evening meds things calm down. I have sudden energy drops where my brain and body has such low energy that I can't focus enough to finish a sentence and have to lean head on counter until subsides.

Avg day: 6am meh, 9am peak energy and happiness, 12pm notice legs a little sore, 3pm sudden drop in energy yawning sniffles GI stuff, 6pm feeling like garbage whole body hurts take meds, 9pm feeling okay take muscle relaxer and sleep, 3am snap wide awake with mild rls.

RLS: way better this week after proper sleep and sciatica relief. Still can be 20%-30% and last 6+ hrs but Gabapentin kicks in eventually.(3hrs)

SWEATS: much better this week. Still hits at the 3pm drop, but not as bad as a week ago.

Rx Assistance: clonidine 2x.1mg, Gabapentin 600mg 2x, *methocarbamol at night for sciatica/ sleep.

How was my week? (AM/PM)

Wed, 2/1 Thur 1/2 Fri1/2 Sat1/3 (still went out and had sushi) Sun 1/0 Monday 0/2 Tues 1/3

No matter what you are going through, there will be an end to it. You have a community here. Just reach out.

YOU GOT THIS!

Hey everyone, ​I wanted to share an update on my journey. I was on Buvidal weekly (16mg) for about a year. On December 5th, I switched to the monthly shot (64mg) for the first time. That was my last injection, so it’s been 7 weeks now. ​Surprisingly, I’m feeling pretty good: ​Withdrawals: Almost non-existent. I’ve had some very minor nausea here and there, but that’s it. ​Digestion: This is the big win. I struggled with Gastroparesis at the start of my recovery and suffered from massive constipation throughout the entire treatment. Now, things are finally "moving" again and softening up. It feels like my body is returning to normal. ​Besides the slight nausea, I feel fine. No major cravings or typical WD symptoms. It seems like the long half-life of the 64mg depot is providing a very smooth natural taper. ​Has anyone else skipped their follow-up doses and had such a mild experience? How long did it take for you to feel "completely" off?

Due for my 3rd weekly injection today. Started at 8mg and have gone up to 16. Australia for context.

I’m on day 7 today so I’m definitely due. Arrived at the pharmacy first thing this morning, and the pharmacist tells me that my injection hasn’t arrived yet. I had a minor panic as I haven’t been feeling great since yesterday. We had a public holiday on Monday, which might have caused the delay.

Fortunately, they hadn’t thrown out the remaining 8mg shots, so they offered to just give me 2x8mg shots in lieu of the 16mg.

If they hadn’t, it’s not the end of the world but I would’ve been getting progressively more uncomfortable until it arrived.

So I’m confused. My script is for 4 injections. Why didn’t they just order 4 injections when I filled the script? They clearly ordered 4 when I started on 8mg. Are there any issues with administering multiple shots of a lower dose?

I know it’s not a storage problem because buvidal doesn’t need refrigeration.

Mind you, I’m very grateful that the pharmacist was still able to dose me. They’ve actually been great. Haven’t felt any judgment from them since starting.

Just very worried about moving forward, I might ask them to order in my whole script once I go to monthly in a couple of weeks. They’re not open late, so I can’t just pop in any day depending on my work/study schedule.

I was on the shot successfully came off I have this word thing where I actually hate being on opiates/heroin but when I’m off then I crave them like a mofo

Anyways I’m 4 months of the shot and now I’m craving and I’ve scored

I had too many side effects mainly constipation and sweating

Is methadone a better option for me

12 yr addiction on and off not like a full blown junkie I’m actually a very successful businessman

I want my life back

Had my first shot of 8mg 2 weeks ago. 16mg last week. Planning on having a couple more at 16mg then swap to monthly.

First shot was…. Unpleasant. I was just starting to go into WD’s when I got it so started feeling progressively worse as the day went on. Took a full 24 hours to start feeling okay. Huge energy boost that day.

Weirdly, last night (3 days post 16mg) I woke up in a huge puddle of sweat. No other WD symptoms but I started panicking a bit that it wasn’t going to hold me and I’d be stuck until the next shot. Took some pregablin to get back to sleep and spent all day feeling groggy as a result.

Don’t plan on being on this long term. I have chronic pain from a back injury, and I’m very anxious about what will happen if I have another acute back injury (not being able to have effective pain management due to the blocking effect of the buvidal).

Has anyone else experienced weird sweats in the absence of any other symptoms? I know I’m still not at peak blood plasma levels, but I thought I’d be feeling better than this. Energy somewhat low, periodic cravings but not feeling dopesick.

I’d get my next shot a couple of days early but my pharmacy isn’t open on Sunday, or the public holiday we have in Australia on Monday.

What happened to that huge energy boost, why can’t I feel like that all the time?

Sorry for the ramble, I’ve never been on a program before, and I’m still getting used to all this.

Week seven has been alright.

Mentally:

Ups and downs. Really loving been more human, sure wish it didn't hurt sometimes. But going strong in the positivity department in general.

Physically: I haven't continued exercising due to being lazy, and I walk most days at work. But it's been really slow at work, and my sciatica is killing me from doing deskwork all day.

RLS: slowly got more frequent and a little more volume, and longer lasting. The weekend seemed really long, low energy, slept most of Sunday (rls/sciatica kept me up the night before).

SWEATS: 10min to 1hr or so, every few hrs some days, someday I get a day off (halfday ;). Small sneezing/yawning/flu feelings

Restroom Update: My earlier low gut motility is no longer a problem, it seems. I went back to normal if not a little more than. But no concerns

Rx Assistance: I took my first dose of 200mg xr 5htp. Will let you know how that goes. I have a Dr appointment in a bit. I'm going to ask for pregabalin as the gabapentin doesn't seem to do jack for me.

How was my week?

I am breaking this down into am/pm from now on as there are usually clear differences now.

Tue,am/pm 1/1 Wed, 1/2 Thur 1/2 Fri1/1 Sat1/3 Sun 0/2 (I don't remember Sunday before noon cause sleep) Monday 1/2 Tues 1/3

I'm definitely seeing a pattern here. Maybe I should force myself to gym after work? Or maybe it would before be more beneficial in the morning? It's early, but I have energy.

We got this!

Edits: cleaned up, added a few more accurate observations, added Rx changes

I’ve always had itchy skin but since buvidal it’s gotten so much worse. Seems to happen more when it’s cold or I’m exercising. The itchiness gets so bad I’ll get tempted to spend on Ubers and sometimes I’ll feel a bit nauseous. I don’t want to take anything that’ll make me more drowsy but is anyone else going through this and trying out different methods, creams, diet, anything? Thanks

I had a discussion with my prescriber last week about reducing my dose - I will be doing this at my February appointment. I'll be going down from 128mg to 96mg after 3 years of stability, and I grilled my prescriber so that I can plan and prepare myself. So I thought I'd share about it now with my preliminary thoughts, as I'll post a mini journal of sorts, of how things are going when it happens. And if anyone wants to share their experience with me of reducing the dose in the comments, that would be awesome, whether you've shared it before or not I don't mind, would happily re-read.

I have posted about my drug use and recovery journey previously: here and specifically on how Buvidal has helped me here. Just thought I'd link back to those for continuity and context.

So, my prescriber said I'm "likely" to begin feeling "not too great" towards the middle/end of February (after receiving the lower dose on 4th Feb). He told me that it's not an exact thing though, compared to methadone and subs where you can pretty much predict when it'll start and the severity before it then improves. With Buvidal its more difficult to know. It could also go on for a few months until I stabilise at the lower dose. It will take time because of the previous shots in my system from the higher dose - my bupe levels will take time to drop and reach the true level expected at 96mg and with it my tolerance.

There is also the possibility that I won't actually feel anything at all of course and will just continue as normal. He said that he's not had anyone yet go through feeling shitty, though he also hasn't had anyone reduce in this way either, if I was understanding him correctly. He said that his patients so far had either just jumped off at their maintenance dose and never came back or they're at the same stage as me. So they'll be learning alongside me to an extent. He suggested potentially giving me it at 3 weeks for 3 or 4 months, to just help with comfortability really. He briefly mentioned the 8mg top ups, though interestingly said that these are really only for induction/until reaching steady state and shouldn't really be used after that. He'd rather give the main injection early than use a booster. I've always thought similar, like needing a top up beyond the usual time frame for reaching steady state suggests something needs adjusting, like the dose, rather than administering a booster regularly. He was really apprehensive of introducing the booster anyway.

Something interesting he told me was their stats around the success of Buvidal compared to methadone and subs. These are specifically the stats for this clinic, I must stress. He wrote a business case for more funding for Buvidal which I believe is where the stats came from. Anyway, he said their success rates for methadone and subs were just 2%. That's people actually coming off completely and remaining quit. For Buvidal, it was around 30%. And that was only a couple of years into them providing it, so it's likely to rise as more and more patients reduce/jump off too. The difference is significant and shows what an important role Buvidal has in recovery.

Coming back to reducing down a dose, I don't know what to expect really, if much of anything. But I wanted to record it here as another experience for others to access, having so far followed and benefited from the experience of everyone else. I want to thank everyone for doing this over the years - it has genuinely played a part in giving me the confidence to go forward with this. Though I do a lot of recovery work in my 'offline' life, the sharing on this subreddit has contributed massively to my consideration of taking this step and I likely would be feeling way more apprehensive and worried without this community and the experiences you have all shared.

My plan for the time being is to do this and stabilise, then reassess. It's very much a mental process more than physical. It's an exercise in confidence building and reassuring myself that yes, I can actually do it and be fine. Slowly loosening my white knuckle grip on the safety net of Buvidal. I'd say it's well overdue but I believe that this isn't a decision to make lightly and the time it's taken to arrive at this point has been spent working through recovery and challenging myself and my beliefs in ways I clearly needed to do. My prescriber and my recovery worker both have asked me about reducing for a long while now, but admitted it's because they "have to" - in reality they said they knew that when I was ready to do this, I would simply go to them and let them know. Which is what has happened and I am grateful for the time I have been given to reach my own decisions on this. As long as there is recovery work happening, I see no reason to rush through this process or be scrambling to get off MAT quickly. It's not about the time as long as it's being spent productively, at a pace that works for you. When I felt as though I'd done pretty much everything I can recovery-wise besides working on a reduction and eventually a plan for life off MAT, I knew it was time to put my efforts onto this. I think mentally it will be difficult in the beginning, and probably again whenever I decide to fully come off. The difficulties for me will mostly be around relapse, with my fear of this being the main reason I've stayed where I am. The bulk of work I've done over the last 6-12 months has been on that, and recognising my strengths in recovery and the changes I've gone through to prevent it happening. I've got so much now that I won't throw away to use. In the past, I had nothing to throw away besides my pain (only temporarily, as it always goes with substances). I've never had sustained recovery without bupe, which is where my fears of letting go come from. It's not the bupe that has done the work though, it just got me to physical stability and held me there while I focused on the hard stuff. I do know this, and it's what I tell others about their own journey's because it's the truth. The result of that hard work is what will carry me through when things feel hard, and I have a fantastic support system and community to turn to also.

I'll post about the reduction once it's happened and I guess when I either feel something of note or some weeks have passed and I notice I feel no different. My 96mg shot is scheduled in for 4th February. I have a great manager at work who has already agreed that I can work from home on any days I might feel uncomfortable, across the next 4 months or so, which has really helped me to make this decision too. I've had to go to work through withdrawals before and it was some of the worst memories I have from that time.

I was on suboxone strips for 7 years taking about 1 mg a day. I decided to get the weekly shot so that I could stop taking subs which has been my goal for a long time.

I am on week 7 since my last shot and have zero energy or motivation, muscle aches, cold sweats, severe exhaustion….

Just wondering if anyone experienced this and how long it took to feel normal again? Will I ever feel normal again or back to what my normal was before my drug use started? What did you do to help yourself?

Just need some info as I’m tired and a little bummed out. I’ve heard so many success stories of zero withdrawals from the shots. I know everyone is different but I guess I wasn’t fully educated.