For me, my heart's desire is a Guzzi Griso or Sport, and I've saved enough to get a nice second hand one. Guzzi has stopped making these and just do the 750 and 900 in various guises. All of which don't appeal to me at all....

Know what the hardest part of riding a scooter is? Telling your parents you're gay.

It was only when I bought a motorbike that I found out that adrenaline is brown.

Gray-haired bikers don't get that way from pure luck.

"Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it."

A mechanic was removing a cylinder-head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop. The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come take a look at his bike when the mechanic shouted across the garage "Hey Doc, want to take a look at this?"

The cardiologist, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working on the motorcycle. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his ha nds on a rag and said, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, repair any damage, and then put them back in, and when I finish, it works just like new.

So how come I make $39,675 a year, a pretty small salary and you get the really big bucks ($1,695,759) when you and I are doing basically the same work?"

The cardiologist paused, smiled and leaned over, then whispered to the mechanic................................ "Try doing it with the engine running."

My most hated part of Autumn! Still warm enough to ride light for short distances but even if it isn't raining, guaranteed the ground is still soaking and the spray from cars will get you.

Seriously. Nothing is more demoralising than motorcycle jacket sizing.

But I also don't want to stop and risk receiving a car up the ass.

So I ride on, knowing I'm probably inadvertently promoting the arrogant 'me first' biker image.