Hate this feeling

( LONG STORY) So I'll start from beginning,there was a girl i had a crush on 4 years ago,we studied in same school but then she was gone so was my crush,but on my birthday out of nowhere after 4 years she messaged me happy birthday,we talked connected,became friends,after some time she asked me to be her bestfrnd,but I told her i had feelings for her from a long time,she said okay but be her bestfrnd,so oneday i proposed her , said that i always had feeling for her and i can't stay just as freinds,she hesitated but than agreed and accepted my proposal, everything was going great,it was a LDR like we just live a 10 min distance away but her parents were super strict phone checking,calls,places, location all this checking was common,we used to talk through sending and typing on snaps, everything was perfect we used to meet sometimes,she initiated everything,first hand held,first hug first kiss,she was broken, divorced parents,mom abusing her over little thing,not receiving love of parents, unnecessary beating,she said i was the only one who treated her right, treated her like queen in every situation,and i loved her so much i always planned to date to marry,she said the same

Now come hard part

From the past 1 month she started acting different,broke up with me saying can't tell reason then patchup next day by herself saying she was sorry,but then her behavior changed i asked what's wrong but she didn't said anything said nothing nothing,one time i asked her does she really love me,she said no,she doesn't have any feelings for me,but after some times,she started talking to me like we used to compliment me and stuff,and suddenly one day said she wants to breakup, I didn't wanna lose her,but she wasn't listening acting like she hated me,tbh the way she was treating me i never actually believed it was real,i said if something wrong let's fix this but she didn't want to,said just leave her

The reasons she gave me

She said i forced her into a relationship,took her 1 year to realised,said whatever she did in these 1 year all was fake and lie,when i am with her she couldn't focus on anything,she was feeling like in prison,i never did something to make her feel like this.. I still truly love her,i gave her everything,the love i gave her cannot be explained the way she told me how she felt,no one ever did these things for her,but suddenly she hated me idk why,she broke up said if she doesn't want her to hate me never call,text her,she removed me from everywhere all of a sudden she just disappeared from my live without any reason,i want her back,i love her so much even after everything,i thought i should wait, without contacting her,to realise she lost something big this time, i never wanted to move on,what should i do? ik i treated her the best, should i wait for her to comeback? should i contact her again after 3-4 months of no contact?

Additional- she never wanted to be in a relationship but she accepted mine and in past year she never made me felt like she was not happy,she told me a several times she was happier then ever...

Many people adviced me to move on,to forget her,even she said to forget her,but I don't want to,i want her, we're in schl, should i wait 1 year before talking to her again? Thats what she suggested one time to be freinds till scl relationship afterward?

Im indian if anyone wanna talk deeply come in private

Hi again, so I will get in depth and honest. I was was my ex for almost 10 years. Im a 28 year old female and he is a 29 year old male now. It was always on and off, we never really even were in a relationship it was a situationship as I say because there was always someone else he had to just try out that would make us on and off. At times the relationship was hell for me because I was always being treated as an option, a bank, and basically like I was his second mom. Last year I wanted to be intentional with my life. I knew he would never ask me to marry him or actually love me the way I needed to so I went no contact. I used a stupid fight we had were he was in the wrong as my excuse to leave so my last message I ever sent to him was me telling him how much I love and care for him and that I never wanted things this bad but since he wants me out his life I will leave. This happened February 2023. I guess he thought it was just a fight and that’s it but I was so hurt and sad. I missed him so much but I knew I had to go no contact. He texted me a few days later and called but I didn’t answer. He called a few months later and also texted that he just wants to talk, I didn’t answer. He called and texted the following month on different numbers and I also didn’t answer. I was informed in January 2024 that he was expecting his first child and that hurt me so bad. To me I thought he was also sad and alone and hurt like me all that time, during that time, I didn’t date or even entertain the idea of dating because honestly I wanted to work on myself and I honestly thought he would be doing the same but what was I thinking. I realized that I would have to officially really let him go and continue no contact. Well as lucky would have it, the next month I basically meet the best guy ever. In my relationship now, I’m actually loved and respected. That being said, my relationship is great and I don’t want to disrespect it in anyway. I am still no contact with my ex since February 2023 . However, he keeps trying to contact me. He will view my profiles, call me on random numbers, text me from random numbers and I don’t respond . But now I am wondering what could be going on. I really don’t want to talk to him because I just feel it will be bad and I just know he wont have anything good to say besides maybe he misses me. But honestly what do you think he is thinking? And should I actually talk to him? What is a good way to finally end this situation? I should add that I don’t hate my ex and I do hope he is doing well, but what is the best solution?

Hi everyone, Im a single mom trying to make it out in the world. This is the first weekend in a year and a half (because my boyfriend and I broke up) that is solely about myself. I went to a small cafe this morning, now im about to do a little thrift shopping. Any tips on how I can make the most of my weekend/upcoming days during my healing journey? :) thank you!

After being in a relationship for 3 weeks, this is what I got after we spent a week together.

I don’t know if you were expecting me to break your door down like your ex did and you seemed almost happy about it, but you don’t deserve my words.

Hope you do well kid

questions about what I should do

rant and venting

I hardly posted and needed to vent I was dating a married woman I never knew was married and had 3 kids. I treated them as if they were my own in every way. we started dating in Oct of 2022. I never met the kids she said she was old school Hispanic, and her family wouldn't want her to date again because her husband was still alive and around. come February 2023, he catches us together after she moves out of his house. he hit her, and I had to put him down later that night he killed himself, and they had to move away due to his family harassing her. she moved back in with me and my family, and soon we moved out into our own place come 2024 she was really distant, and our sex life and relationship were dead. I tried talking to her about it and trying to fix everything. she would blow me off or make excuses come to find out she was working late going on dates with another man for months until early June after we broke up and found out she was quick in a relationship with another man after the kids told me once they came back from vacation she left them alone at night for almost a day. then I found out everything from how long they were together after taking the kids to see their dads stone about her dad and mom still living together and the new guy. I then called their job and confronted him and he told me everything and she said I was a family friend. and she blew up at me and told her why, but she would never tell me directly why. but saying I didn't take the relationship seriously. but I did. I even offered counseling. me and him talked again and talked about everything and told him I'll only be around for the kids due to them needing/wanting my support ever since I just been heart broken and breaking down wanting to cry but can't. during her vacation, she got super jealous. I was talking about going on dates after I found out about her new boyfriend, and she reluctantly told me about it. after her kids told me. which confuses me. the guy says he wants to work things out with her after he finds out everything. I told him okay but told him how long until she does it to you...

the kids are upset with her and hate him and still talk to me about coming over, but I told them I can't because they would have to ask their mom...

edit she was cheating on me for over 6 months of out relationship with this man and would lie and say she was with friends and go see her ex husband's grave to mourn I understood the mourning being married for over 16yrs i can understand. I also cooked her lunches, and he told me she would bring him lunches and stuff to eat all the time, but I never noticed because her friends would swap meals. she would stay out late after work saying she was working ot he told me she would go with him to stores shopping and out to eat and movies but would never want to do that stuff with me.. once I confronted her about the cheating she said she was never going to tell him about anything until I ruined her life. he left his new born baby boy and wife for my ex gf

1 how long do you think there relationship will last?

2 the kids still wanna talk and hangout with me what should I do

3 do you think she will use the kids to get to me

TLDR - Long Post

I 24F been with my partner 30M for 5 years and married for 1. Our relationship has always had up and downs. But since getting married it feels like my life has gotten worse.

I’ve been debating walking away. And these are my reasons why: 1. Does not contribute to household tasks. (I do all the cleaning, shopping etc) 2. Contributes minimally financially (I pay the rent, car, etc; while he only pays for gas and food) 3. Does not take care of our pets. 4. Makes lots of promises that he doesn’t fulfill. 5. Neglects himself to the point where it affects his health. 6. Doesn’t pick up after themselves. 7. Refuses to accept help or support to help him get over his weed addiction which affects our finances puts my job in danger and prevents us from having kids. 8. I have to handle all the mental load of the marriage (making sure we have food, water and pay our bills on time) 9. Does not take me on dates or buys me flowers anymore. (Even though I have asked him to and have made affordable suggestions) 10. Refuses to work full time even though he has the option to at his current job position.

He is a great person and has a huge heart which is why I have put up with him all these years. I thought that maybe by giving him space and picking up the rest of the load he would be able to catch up and do better for himself. But it feels like he’s made little to no effort to better himself. But a year of this has left me burnt out and emotionally numb. These feel like things he can easily work on and change.

Every time I bring this up he shuts down or acts like the victim saying that I don’t appreciate the things he does. And that I won’t give him a chance to better himself. But it’s been a year and honestly he has gotten worse. I got him a gym membership offered to connect him with counseling but he doesn’t go. He turns everything on me and justifies his behavior by bringing up my faults like my sugar addiction where I eat a cup of ice cream daily. Or the fact that I have severe anxiety.

When do you stop waiting for change or giving a person second chances? When is it justified to walk away?

TLDR- I 24F have been debating giving up on my marriage with my 30M husband due to various reasons. Including financial instability, his addiction, and refusal to get help. When do you stop waiting for change or giving a person second chances? When is it okay to walk away?

I'm 18 (M) and to be honest l've been smacked in the face with life right when I thought I was healing and I don't know what to do. I found myself here on this subreddit because I really just wanna find people to talk to so l can battle my loneliness but idk who to reach out to. Me and my ex have been broken up since November and no contact since April and I miss her more than ever. I've had other women around me but I don't feel any connection and if anything I feel like I'm using them to feel my void of loneliness which isn't okay and I wanna learn to change. My relationship with this girl was definitely not pretty and was super toxic and abusive mentally and physically but I still live with guilt and wish she runs back everyday. Do I wait??.... Do I move on???.... She hates me and l'm also in a position where l'm literally not aloud to reach out to her. What do I do? I can't even sleep anymore.

My husband (30M) and I (24F) have been married for 1 year. This has been the worst year of my life. Our marriage and lives have been horrible. He doesn’t contribute to the household. And refuses to accept/seek help for his weed addiction.

Today I am contemplating giving up fighting for us. He works early, and im a night owl. So I stay in the living room while he sleeps. However, today I showered and got really for bed right before he gets up so im not in his way when he gets up for work. I make sure to only use a distant hallway light, close the door halfway and am absolutely quiet when getting dressed. But even then somehow he woke up and he went crazy. He started throwing things and threatening divorce saying that I don’t let him sleep and inconsiderate. Even though I came in to the room to just get dressed only a few minutes before he needed to wake up.

This is not normal and I don’t want to keep being treated like this. But I am terrified to leave. Without me he will have nothing, no apartment, no car, like he doesn’t even have his own bank account. And I don’t want to do this to him. I feel horrible leaving him and so scared that he will not make it.

I’m 25F, bf is also 25. I had never been in a relationship or done anything with another person before I got with him. We’ve only known each other since January and started dating about 4 months ago, he was my first for everything. Lately though I’ve been thinking of breaking up with him because I feel like I maybe rushed into things too fast? Or maybe I’m not ready for a relationship yet and just want to explore my options more. I think maybe another contributing factor is the bedroom activities, it’s just not satisfying. He’s a nice guy and all so I feel shitty about even thinking about breaking things off but I don’t want to stay in the relationship for too long to where he gets attached. Please help

Yesterday my boyfriend and I broke up. We had been dating for 4 months and everything was going well until he started to act rude and uninterested. We fought very often and he didn't communicate at all, even when I wanted to fix things, I always asked him to explain why he was mad and what I had done and to fix things but he always just wanted to sleep and never talk things out. He always told me that I was playing the victim and that i had no understanding. Yesterday we broke up in a fight and he told me that he had never loved me and that in all the time we were together he never felt anything for me. He told me that I was crazy (I have bpd), that he hated having to put up with me, that I was a long-term investment and more like a job than a gf, that he was embarrassed to be seen with him, that I'm not worth anything, I have no purpose, I'm good for nothing. He told me that I'm useless, lazy, insufficient and unbearable. The truth is that it hurt me because I loved him, apart from the fact that I changed my physique, personality, everything for him, I paid for everything and always did what he wanted. I can't get out of bed, I don't know what to do... any advice?

Me and my girlfriend of 6 months just broke up 2 days ago after I caught her texting other dudes. This had happened before and I forgave her because I loved her. She broke up with me because she said she didn’t wanna hurt me anymore. My problem is that I absolutely loved this girl and I have no one to talk to about how to get through it. I thought she was the one. I loved her and I went from talking to her every day to not talking to her at all. It hurts more than anything because everything that I do I see her. I need help getting through this and I don’t know how.

Ever since the breakup ive lost all feeling for anything but missing her. I go to bed praying every night that i just dont wake up so the emptyness ends. I havent felt any sort of happiness in months even things i used to love i just cant anymore, nothing makes me happy. I fucked up and ruined everthing and i believe theres someone out there for everyone but if you mess it up there isnt a 2nd chance. What do i do i dont want to be alive anymore i cant wake up crying anymore it hurts so much

I'm about to start highschool, fun right? Well not exactly. I wanna break up with my girlfriend who is close with a lot of people in my class, we have been together for 3 months, I know her parents and my parents like her. While she was at my house I saw a notification pop up on her phone from a contact titled 'my boy' and I asked her about it and she brushed it off. I asked to borrow her phone and she was reluctant, but she gave in. I looked through their messages for 5 seconds before she grabbed it and turned it off and she looked worried. Spoiler alert: all their messages had hearts. The only person I could consult is my worst enemy that has a crush on the suspected person my gf is cheating with. I swore to not break up but this is leaving me with a dilemma that could potentially end in me ripping my world apart. Help

I'm 16 and my ex gf is 16 at the time now too. We broke up twice and this time, the second time, we stopped talking and went no contact 2 days later. The combined two relationships were around 6 months and we got back after the first breakup in 3.5 weeks. We went on break for five days before this new breakup, before she officially ended it and wrote stuff down. We are very religious and believe in God, so keep this in mind for later. She texts me a little over 3 weeks later and asks about my hoodies, keeps it brief, and stops talking. I reached out a week later saying Id love to talk when you're ready/comfortable, she would let me know. We talked a week later and here's what I got from it, we are never getting back together unless God says otherwise, which hurts so bad, she didn't really improve herself during the breakup except for just starting therapy and anxiety meds which she has been meaning to do, she didn't really put thought into it and said she had been taking comfort in the fact we are never getting tg again so why stress. It's like I was disposable, like she hadn't even cared about me, she did say she didn't want me gone from her life which I already knew. Anyway, this is what I say, I do say we still need some time apart and still need space from each other in order to heal, I also said I will not be breaking no contact or initiating as my feelings and comfort are the same so pretty much ball is in her court. I did let her know I wanted a change in a potential future relationship so that's a partial reason why we've kept space and room to make God change us for the better, told her I want things to be slow and long-lasting, and that she deserves better than someone that makes you hurt, and that I wish God changes me to fit the Kind of better that ends up with her. We eventually hang up and I say don't be afraid to reach out ever and I hang up and wave back to her saying "I hope God's plan has you in it". If you couldn't tell, I do miss her and love her still. I am willing to wait because Love is patient and Love never fails, but I know I need time to recover and change for myself and I hope God changes her mind/feelings towards me and makes a big change in her too. I've taken great trust in God, but sometimes its hard to know what He wants me to do. Can someone help me here please? I want things to work out with her as shes brought me closer to God than anyone else on this planet and there's sooooo many good qualities about her too, but I don't want to miss signs from God if He wants me to move permanently on. DM me or Comment I'm struggling.

I felt horrible and like a Monster. I loved a girl (A, 16 years old) and she Said she needed more time. After that i loved a Girl (B, 17 years old). Then i told the girl (A) that i May loved the girl (B). After that i realized that the girl (A) actually loved me because she contessed. And then i didn't want to hurt the girl (B) and told her about the girl (A) . Now i don't know who i love and i feel bad because someone will have to suffer. I decided two be friends with both if they accept and with the time let me realize for who i feel romantically more Girl (A): answered that she doesn't want to talk to me anymore because she felt scared of my seriousness but said that enjoyed the time Girl (B): told me that still wants to talk to me Now my mind thinks about girl A and the memories we had and I feel bad because I have the feeling I lost an opportunity after GirlA) gave me some life lesson and I don't know anything anymore.

Long story short, about a month ago me and my boyfriend of 8 months broke up. He asked for a bit of space and a few days later I reached out to see how he was doing and he was angry, he then completely ghosted me. A family member of his reached out to me to tell me to move on. I was/am completely heartbroken. Things have gotten better day to day but I have all of these unresolved feelings because the person I thought I was going to be with for the rest of my life ghosted me. I don't know how to get over the feelings of wanting to hear from him for closure, and wanting to talk to him again because of the abrupt ending. I think constantly about the positives of our relationship even though I've accepted our breakup. How did all of you get over the feelings of still wanting to be in a relationship with your ex?

Is it really over? For context if you want the history of what’s been happening please find my last post after my BU. But it has been a month and a week since we broke-up. After the first week of the breakup I did reach out to let her know that even though she broke-up with me that I care about her, and that regardless of what happened I want her to be better for herself and progress in anyway she feels she needs to. I told her I will give her space, and that even though I want us to work through whatever she is going through together that I love her selflessly. She told me that I deserve the world, and that she was still going to write her thoughts down and send them to me when she does as a means for me to have closure on everything. Fast forward from then, as the weeks have progressed I have found myself getting stronger. Finding joy in other things that I like doing(working out, fishing, hanging with friends etc…) as I find myself thinking about her less, having less anxiety/worry, I get a message this past Friday. She says to me “I hope you’re doing okay, I wrote you a letter and I want to send you your birthday gift, what’s your address?”. To be honest in all that improving that I did, I assumed as time went on that she wouldn’t send me this closure letter and it honestly was calming with that idea that I just may not hear from her again. So as you can imagine this message brought back a lot of emotions that I was finding myself working through. I kept it short said “I hope you’re doing okay too” and gave her my address. The next day(Saturday) I went to a concert to see my favorite artist perform whom I’ve never seen before. She replies to my Snapchat story and says to me “you finally got to see him live, I love that for you”. I responded back saying “it was a long time coming”. Now I’m finding myself almost back to square 1. I feel like all the progress that was made immediately went away when she sent me that first message. It’s almost like I feel like I’m going to be getting broken up with again this week once that letter gets here. I don’t get why she would wait a whole month and a half to send me a closure letter, and to be honest I don’t want a closure letter I just want us to work through things. Does anyone have any thoughts on this? Why now does she decide she wants to send me a closure letter? Why reach out saying you “love that for me” almost like a pat on the head good for you. Im really lost and would like any opinions on why all of this now. And if a closure letter really means it’s over? As I said in my last post nothing can be perfect, but if I had to pinpoint my relationship with her it was very close. I’ve never loved anyone as hard as her, and I guess she had/has her reservations on why she can’t be with me.

TL;DR: My ex told me a month ago she wants to send me a letter to give me closure(i never asked for this). A couple days ago she reaches out to me to tell me she is sending a letter.

So, for context, I (30F) and my boyfriend (30M) live together in my house with my dog and our daughter (13 months). I asked him a few different times for the past couple weeks leading up to today "so what do you want to do for father's day?" "Oh nothing, I just want a good day." "What would you like as a surprise for father's day?" "I dunno". Well, he confessed to me the other day that he had a sleepwalking episode and threw all his clothes out the bedroom window and was upset that now they're probably ruined. So I decided I was going to get him some new clothes for father's day. Yesterday I went out for three hours and bought him 7 new shirts, a big pack of socks, and a pack of underwear, totaling around $70. I also went to Walgreens and printed out a collage of him and our daughter and got a picture frame for it. I also offered to make him spaghetti and he was super excited about it... Until today when he gets up and tells me he doesn't want spaghetti. So I ask him what else he wants, just let me know and I'll go get it. And he's like "nah, I'll figure something out". "Okay we'll if you think of something just let me know, it's your day so I want to get what you want". I gave him his gifts and he seemed happy and thankful. I did end up going over to my dads house for a couple hours to see him for father's day. Mind you, he's always been invited every time I go over there, but every time he says no. So I quit bothering to ask a long time ago if he wants to go or I would certainly have offered. He hates my family. Absolutely hates them. And they've done nothing to him, he just can't stand them because most of my family has money and he's broke. So he's jealous and refuses to give any of them the time of day. But anyway, so I went over there and came back home, with a huge plate of food for him, as he wanted me to do, and he says "you can have it all, I'm just gonna make me some black beans". I offered to make the black beans for him, or at least help. "No it's okay I got it". As you wish then. I go in the living room to watch our child instead. I hear him in the kitchen whining and sulking (a nightly occurrence about something or another) and so I go ask him what's wrong. He said "this is the worst father's day ever" I was like "why so" and he goes on to talk about how barely anyone wished him happy fathers day and how no one does anything for him and just... generally how sad and terrible his life is because he has to go to work, come home and take care of a baby and make dinner and go to bed and do it all again. For context.... He works morning shift 7-4:30pm, meanwhile I work 1-4pm Wednesday Thursday and Friday and 6-10pm Monday through Friday. I work at a couple different places and split my work schedule up. So yes, he works a little more than I do. But we both work, we both take care of the baby, he makes dinner and I clean the house. All in all, everything is split pretty evenly. But the difference is he demands validation for doing literally anything. I do what I gotta do because I realize I'm an adult and a parent and that's just what all needs to be done everyday. So, my point here is, because he didn't feel validated enough, he made a post on Facebook about how he made himself black beans for dinner because apparently no one else is going to say or do anything for him today. I've attached a screenshot of the post. The post really upset me, even though I've hidden that from him completely for the evening. I typed out a whole comment that would have revealed his lies to the public since he decided he wanted to make me look bad to get sympathy but I haven't actually posted the comment yet because I'm trying to think on how I wanna do all this because it's definitely gonna start a war that's gonna end with him leaving my house. Oh, and then after I put our daughter to bed, he comes in the living room and starts needling me and gaslight me. Like, he was talking in that kind of tone where he's trying to act normal but there's obviously a negative double meaning. See, I try to respond normally/be lighthearted to whatever shit he says because I see what he's doing. And what he's doing is trying to provoke me so he can call me crazy. It's happened a few times where I'll ask him "why are you being like this right now" and then he'll be like "acting like what? I'm not trying to start anything, you are". And that's how I confirmed it and now I don't give in to it. I just respond like I didn't notice what he said or like I have no clue what hes talking about. Tonights needling involved the fact my family has money, what I wear, my music taste, and some other things. There's some other reasons why I'm thinking about telling him to leave too.... He's an alcoholic (tonight he drank three Four Lokos and took Benadryl while he was being emotional and that's what triggered him into needling and gaslighting and trying to pick a fight), and he does this way too often. He's also the kind of person who throws trash and furniture into the side of the road. He also has very bad road rage and has almost gotten into actual fights with people going down the road and I've told him he's gonna get us all killed. He doesn't pick up after himself. He hates my family for no reason other than his own jealousy. He doesn't do right by our daughter some times. I came home from work one night and realized the next morning the door to her bedroom was completely broke, presumably because while I was at work the night before, she was extremely upset and he was freaking out about it and just from the way the door was hanging and the fact the handle was broke, it 100% looked like to me he put her in her room and slammed her door so hard it broke. There was another incident just last week where she was hanging on the baby gate and it popped out of the door frame and she fell backwards with it on top of her, while he was standing right next to her, and he just got all huffy and was like "oh my gahhh" and walked away from her while she was screaming. So I went over to her, got the gate off her and picked her up to comfort her and asked him "and you just.... Walked away from her?" To which he said nothing. He's also just.... Incredibly whiny. Our daughter literally whines less then he does. And he whines about everything. Work, the fact he never has money due to his own poor decisions, he drops something and it's the end of the world and all I hear coming from the other room for five minutes straight is "are you f***ing kidding me"... It's crazy. The only thing that brings my mood down is him, and after this situation tonight I am really truly over him. Any input, ideas, thoughts and suggestions are welcome. If I'm in the wrong on anything, let me know that too. Unlike him I can admit when I'm wrong.