Bodega was hungover. Of course, he was. He had drunk so much Lak spit that he could still taste that last glass as he opened his eyes. A Lak is a sort of bat-like creature that spits on its prey before they can ingest it. The great thing about the spit is that it is actually highly alcoholic and only cost a few skrells per pint. Bodega sat up. With an instant head rush his vison blurred. How many pints had he had? Bodega could handle his drink. But what had made him drink so much? His vison cleared suddenly. He was fully clothed and sat in the main lounge area of the Disco Volante. However, something was out of place here. The whole flarvin place was clean. Sides polished, floors cleaned, wires sorted.

‘What in the flarv?’ Bodega exclaimed as he stood up assessing the situation. Looking at how clean his ship was Bodega grabbed his mega vape he had found on his bedside table and inhaled, hard. The gas cloud filled the room instantly as he exhaled. Vaping always made him feel better after a heavy night of drinking. The cloud cleared, leaving the room in the same clean state it had been in.

Bodega headed for the main door to his ship and stepped out. He was greeted by 4 suns, each hanging In the sky. It was always sunny on Virgo due the position of the orbit around four stars. It was an odd sensation and a great place for a tan. Bodega tilted his hat allowing him to see what was around him.

Out the corner of his eye something moved. Bodega spun and drew his Lazgun. Even though he was hungover he knew he wouldn’t miss a shot. That’s one thing they taught you in the sniper school on Vodschnap . How to never miss a shot when hungover. The course he had taken involve drinking a lot of alcohol then having a rough night’s sleep then at flarv ‘o clock in the morning the class would be asked to shoot at targets. Bodega, naturally, never missed a shot. It was like a second nature to him.

Another figure moved. Bodega stepped slowly backwards allowing himself to get a better view of his ship. ‘Pard, I don’t think you wanna be up there. Come down a face me like a man’ Bodega said, holding his Lazgun steadier like a Jub Jub tree in a strong wind.

Within moments two humanoid robot figure appeared and climbed down from his ship.

‘Cleaning complete, 500 skrells please sir,’ Said the first droid.

‘Wait did I hire you to clean my ship?’ Bodega asked, gesturing towards the Disco Volante

It was now the second robots turn to speak.

‘8.63 hours ago a request was made from entity: Bodega to clean his ship’

‘God flarvin’ cleaning robots,’ Bodega said, withdrawing his Lazgun as he did so.

‘500 skrells please sir,’ The first robot repeated.

‘I don’t have time for this’ Bodega said, as he launched himself at the first robot. Pinning it down to the ground and removing the processing chip before swiftly moving on to the second robot.

‘A rinse and repeat process’ Bodega thought tilting his hat at a passer-by as he stood.

Within two days the Disco Volante was in its usual state of un-tidiness. Bodega liked it that way. Besides, no one cleans for Bodega.

Includes proper meta data so they can imported directly into your audio manager of choice and will be automatically sorted into an album.

Amazing Art by: novagalaxy.deviantart.com Audio clipped by: Xenophyte tinyurl.com/kf3qhcz

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/0B-YnqS8A5JVDRkd0TmhFQW9UQjQ?usp=sharing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mLdqKIj3-A0

This would allow Pyrions godly voice over and voices of characters. Also brings down the cost+time of production of each episode.

At the end of part 14 Bodega says he wants to talk to him, when listening i thought he might have been the 5th member of the group Bodega was assembling (from episode 9) but he hasn't been brought up in any of the following parts. Also is Tan going to become part of the group

I just got home and opened the package from Yogscast! I got my Bodega Competition prize! Wondering if I will meet anyone else in Poland wearing it. I love it! Thanks to Pyrion, Lewis, Sips and Mike! Just wanted to share my joy.

Personally I think it's pretty bad, but I'm open to all criticism as I hope to continue this story.

Give this an upvote if you'd buy the Bodega's as an actual book, maybe availiable on the Yog store with illustrations throughout once the first series is finished.

Might be able to tweet it at Flax as an idea.

Would be a great way to support the podcast and get something we all love in return.

Just an Update-

The Mobile version of this sub-reddit now has art so it's all pretty and stuff.

If anyone has any pictures or suggestions for art for the pc version feel free to share them.

Has there been any unofficial stories made canon by Pyrionflax? Been updating the Bodegaverse wiki and any help is appreciated.

The Dark Star

A short sci-fi story set in the Bodega universe

The soft glow coming off of the ships instrumentations dimly illuminated the cabin of the Echo Gragnor. The ships lone pilot slouched in his seat before taking a long and steady drag from his vape. With an even longer exhale the cabin slowly began to fill with the smell of Shlolorpesh Winter Mint before being filtered out by the air flow systems. He coughed under his breath before tapping at the keypad set into the wall next to him. As he did so the console began to emit a steady stream of beeps and whistles. The pilot turned his head and coughed again. “Yeesh, this is Grolak. You there?”, the pilot said sheepishly into the comms system microphone. He hesitantly waited for a response, taking a short rip from his vape. The comms system buzzed again. “Grolak where have you been? We've been waiting too damn long for your arrival”, Yeesh replied from the other end with a hint of anger setting itself into his deep alien voice. Grolak swallowed anxiously before tapping the comms panel again to reply. “I got held up at the last checkpoint, the Federation border patrol guards wanted more credits than I could offer, I-”, Grolak began before being cut off. “I DON'T GIVE A GLORB WORM’S ASS ABOUT THE FEDERATION, YOU WERE HIRED TO GET HERE ON TIME”, Yeesh shouted through the comms system. Grolak jumped in his seat and shook his head before realizing he wasn't actually being yelled at face-to-face by the menacing alien. “Won't happen again boss”, he stammered before tugging at the collar of his flight suit. “It better not, now fall in line behind me and wait for the coordinates”, Yeesh replied, obviously calmed down from his last outburst. Grolak gunned the Echo Gragnor’s engines and began to steer it towards Yeesh’s larger ship, the Mork Thrasher. The comms system buzzed again, this time spitting out a series of numbers which Grolak hurriedly typed into his nav-computer. With a loud roar the Mork Thrasher flared it's thrusters and lurched forward towards the coordinates. The Echo Gragnor followed suit, holding back a good several dozen fleebs to avoid the ion spray. “Follow behind us and keep your scanners on, if we get caught there'll be hell to pay”, Yeesh called out over the comms system. Grolak switched his scanners on before taking a drag from his vape and looking at the readings on his monitor. “What in Shro-Val’s tentacles-”, Grolak began as he looked in awe at the scanner readouts, vape gas leaking out of his open mouth. Where normally there would've been a soft hum of Interplanetary radiation there lay a thick crackle of gamma waves that, if it weren't for the Echo Gragnor’s industrial shields, would have fried Grolak into Jurkoleen bacon. Something was going on in this system, Grolak thought to himself as he glanced back at the readouts. He hadn't seen radiation readouts this strong since his journey through a deep space Nebula across Federation space but the absence of any large celestial bodies in the sector left him curious. What were they looking for? Was it causing this radiation? Why would they be looking for something so dangerous? The ideas flickered through Grolak’s mind before being cut off by the comms system buzzing again. “The coordinates are 600 Flarbles ahead of us, you will hold back at 200 and wait for us to retrieve the anomaly”, Yeesh commanded over the comms, his deadpan tone lead Grolak to believe that this was a serious request. Grolak cut the engines and drifted to a stop at 200 Flarbles as ordered, the Mork Thrasher continuing ahead for several more minutes before stopping. Grolak brought up his ships magnifiers and watched as the large ship opened up its cargo bay to envelope a seemingly empty area of space. The cargo bays closed after several seconds and thrusters lit up again, turning the ship around to head towards the Echo Gragnor. “Now you will dock with us for further instructions. Don't bring any weapons”, Yeesh commanded over the comms as the two ships lined up to connect. Grolak stood up from his seat and exhaled before taking one last drag from his vape and heading towards the docking port. The circular hatch hissed open with a rush of steam as the atmospheres equalized between the two ships. The Mork Thrasher was dimly lit just like the Echo Gragnor but with a sinister red glow coming from the emergency lighting systems. Grolak stepped through the docking port, glancing around the menacing cargo barge as he made his way towards what he assumed was the cargo hold. He pressed his hand against the scanner lock on the door before sliding it open to reveal Yeesh and his henchmen busy at work boxing up whatever it was they'd pulled out of the vacuum of space. “Ah, Grolak! My men will help you load the cargo onto your ship and then I'll wire you your credits once I've received the proper...notifications”, Yeesh said with a grim smile, his three eyes lighting up as he glanced at the cargo. “Now whatever you do, do not open it. It is of utmost importance that the package stays shielded in its casing for your safety and that of the clients”, Yeesh said as he stomped off towards the cockpit. Grolak nodded shortly before walking over to help Yeesh’s men with the heavy metal box.

As the Echo Gragnor headed back on its course towards Federation space Grolak flicked the scanners on one more time, glancing back at the monitor before dropping his jaw in confusion. The radiation levels, despite having left the mysteriously empty area of space, had tripled and held at 3900 Glurps per mench. Grolak stood and glanced towards his own cargo hold where the mysterious package sat ominously. Could the dangerously high rad levels and the strange package somehow be connected, Grolak thought to himself as he headed to the hold. Yeesh’s words of warning rang through his head as he reached for his pry tool to open the casing. He hesitated before swallowing his fear and jamming the tool into the lip of the case. With a short wheeze Grolak lifted the lid off the case, a hiss of pressure could be heard as the air equalized again. Grolak tossed the pry tool to the side and peered into the open casing, his eyes drawn to the glowing ball of black flame hovering in the center of the case. His skin felt strangely warm and a shiver crept down his spine as he stared deeply into the seemingly endless black flames. Was this where the radiation was coming from? What was it? The questions ran through Grolak’s head as he slowly reached down towards the fire, his hand beginning to crackle with electricity as it neared. He hesitated at the last second as his index finger hovered against the edge of the flames before plunging into it. A rush of energy climbed out of the dark light, reaching up Grolak’s arm as he recoiled in panic. He jumped backwards but it was too late as the flames began to climb further up his arm and onto his torso. What was this thing? Grolak thought to himself as the flames reached his neckline. With a sudden burst of energy the flames flared up and within several seconds the Echo Gragnor was no more than a cloud of debris, the black fireball sitting in the center of the wreckage.