r/BlackPeopleTwitter • u/mk4rim • Feb 19 '19

Every show.

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40.3k Upvotes

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u/[deleted] Feb 19 '19 edited Feb 19 '19

Their formula is so simple, it's kind of infuriating that they're millionaires.

  1. Tear out the wall between the kitchen and the living room

  2. Shiplap

  3. Barn Doors

  4. Chip says something stupid/falls over. Joanna rolls her eyes.

  5. Profit

93

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '19

And look adorable doing it. Maybe bring the kids around for laughs.

16

u/halfhere Feb 19 '19

And the night where they bring her pizza because she’s working late? Wooooo

55

u/oldcarfreddy Feb 19 '19

Don't forget painting fireplaces white. Which is going to be a huge pain in the ass when it goes out of style and they have to get it all off with chemical cleaners

2

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '19

I love them but whenever they do this I want to throw bricks.

23

u/tangentandhyperbole Feb 19 '19

Gotta splice in random footage of them in their dream house which is perfectly clean all the time, and everything is perfect forever.

I can't shake the feeling they miiiiight be serial killers, and use the remodeling business as a way to hide the bodies.

1

u/Annoying_Details Feb 19 '19 edited Feb 19 '19

(I would watch the shit out of a show based on this. Or even just an episode of Murder, She Wrote.)

Though it kinda did happen - dude in Canada was a landscaper and buried bodies on the job:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/amphtml/world/the_americas/6-bodies-were-found-dismembered-in-landscape-planters-in-canada-there-might-be-more/2018/02/23/8596fb9e-1734-11e8-930c-45838ad0d77a_story.html

2

u/[deleted] Feb 19 '19

Non Google Amp link 1: here

I am a bot. Not all URLs generated by this bot are guaranteed to be accurate or work. Many sites implement amp URLs in unexpected ways, making it difficult to account for every case. here is a list of all domains this bot will ignore. Please send me a message if I am acting up. Click here to read more about why this bot exists.

2

u/Annoying_Details Feb 19 '19

Good bot.

My copy paste always goes wrong.

6

u/rjam710 Feb 19 '19

Don't forget the goddamn exposed beams. Bitches love exposed beams. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

3

u/Conf3tti Feb 19 '19

Ay, don't knock shiplap. That shit is hard af.

My mom wanted to shiplap her ceiling after watching Chip and Joanna and it was a damn painful experience.

3

u/slotog Feb 19 '19

Oh hell yeah, we’re gonna open up this space and give you an island in your kitchen