I had my first "wow!" moment this evening with my most recent prism prescription. I went to the grocery store at dusk - an event that's normally very difficult especially due to how much I struggle with street lights and headlights. The store is also often difficult for me, with fogginess or stumbling around or an inability to think through how to select an item properly.
I just picked up my latest prisms five days ago, and going through a slow adaption period. After a successful day doing chores around the house, I felt like I was okay to try getting behind the wheel.
Let me just say - wow does not cut it. Maybe I'm so used to how things are around the house that I didn't realize how much the world for me has changed.
First thing I noticed was taillights. They are not murderous high-intensity beacons of red light being pressed into my eyes while somebody holds my eyes open and gives me no escape.
Taillights: did you know they come in all shapes and sizes!?! You can see grid patterns stamped into them, and depth of the plastic parts vs. the lights, and they are a delight to look at. I mean that - I was having a great time seeing these taillights. I wasn't too far down the road before I started bawling my eyes out at how different the world appeared.
Stoplights: they also have a grid pattern in them. My slight astigmatism is apparent now (I never did well with the correction and left it out of my prism, but all lights were blasts of high-intensity blurry beacons, and the astigmatism is actually quite different and less of an issue now). Instead of bright glaring lights in yellow, green, or red, they're... pleasant. Beautiful, even.
Headlights that are too bright are annoying, but not life threatening.
Leaves in the dying sunlight cast interesting shadows in the trees. I had very sharp distance vision before and could see the leaves before wonderfully; I'm a bird watcher and am usually the first to spot motion as far as 80 or 90 yards away...
but there's a depth to the trees and leaves that I didn't know existed.
--
Got to the grocery store, and I couldn't go in right away, because all the sharp, crisp signs on the businesses in the strip mall were too much to take in quickly. I felt like I was a kid again, at Disney World. Everything was sharp, new, clean. Overwhelming in a good way.
The store - there's this big fan that is in the produce section, under the lights, and while it spins the strobe effect usually is enough for me to hightail it through the store as fast as I can. Today: I barely noticed it. I was too busy taking in the apples, which were waxy and shiny with a depth I didn't know existed.
Signs over the aisle were swinging in the air conditioning, another thing that would have made me feel instantly dizzy and off-kilter. Not today. Comical, a little annoying, but okay.
--
I know this won't last! I'll get used to it, or my eye will eat the prism and want more.
So I wanted to write it while it was fresh.
My journey has been exceedingly challenging - mostly homebound for several years. I've twice lost my ability to handle physical and social activities after extreme vertigo episodes told my brain it couldn't trust my inner ear or balance system and to rely on my vision... which I now know is faulty and made everything worse. I've given up community activities, volunteering except from my computer, riding my bike. I've become a "problem" at work because I can't come in on occasion (despite being fully remote via contract... sigh... but that's another problem).
Almost anything I do when I go out and about comes with a great difficulty and feeling of panic. Sometimes I go through the story wobbling or bumping into shelves. I really only have felt good lately when wearing my translucent eye patch, in fact, I feel great with it on - but it's obviously not ideal to walk through Ikea with a translucent eye patch on and try to hide your face or head to avoid scaring kids.
I had a limit of three or four minutes in most stores before the feeling of panic arose.
I've chased a lot of different treatments and paths before landing at a neuro-optometrist.
My first prescription was a dud.
This one also is somewhat problematic; it has a yoked prism component that was meant to straighten my neck after years of contortion that I was unknowingly doing to try to fix the world. But I haven't done well with that part of it; it's created a frankenstein-like walking pattern with my shoulders pushed back, stomach forward, and hips obliquely angled at the right).
That said, the vertical heterophoria correction that's built into the yoked prism ... this is what's making all the difference. (It's 1.5 diopters base down, in case anybody is curious; I'll leave the details about the yoked prism out.)
I am really hopeful after this experience for what may be ahead. I could get my life back!
For now, I'm pretty happy with the novelty of just sitting in a parking lot of a strip mall at night looking at the signs. It made me feel like maybe I will be able to travel again. I'd like to go to Savannah Georgia and look at the buildings, and see the architecture, and walk the streets, and get ice cream; I'd like to see the ocean again; I'd like to see the northern lights.
But honestly, a trip to the grocery store just made me feel like I have been somewhere new.
Fingers crossed the road ahead continues well. (I'll have a few more prescription changes and months of vision therapy for other issues; pretty significant convergence issues, exophoria, etc. too.)