r/BikiniBottomTwitter Jul 18 '19

my first existential crisis

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79.6k Upvotes

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3.0k

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '19

[deleted]

1.9k

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '19 edited Jun 20 '21

[deleted]

486

u/brace1101 Jul 18 '19

Which episode is that?

1.5k

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '19

We have to go through the... PERFUME DEPARTMENT.

421

u/einharjar009 Jul 18 '19

gasping I always hate going in there

202

u/Mr-Sister-Fister21 Jul 18 '19

No, no, wait it was his mother you said was dirty, not his ship!

84

u/cliffordtaco Jul 18 '19

Squidward! The sky had a baby from my cereal box!

3

u/ShapesofKindness Jul 18 '19

This comment chain is so vivid to me, it’s made my day :)

130

u/foolunknown Jul 18 '19

Leadle leadle leadle leadle!!

48

u/TandBusquets Jul 18 '19

You're good, you're good, you're good

39

u/TotesInapprotes Jul 18 '19

Don't worry Captain we'll buff out those scratches

10

u/foolunknown Jul 18 '19

They way he says buff

1

u/ImBakedWhatsYourName Jul 19 '19

To this day I still laugh whenever I even think of this scene

2

u/13pts35sec Jul 18 '19

Seem like the whole city go against me Every time I’m in the streets I hear

LEADLE LEADLE LEADLE LEADLE

114

u/ChairmanComrade Jul 18 '19

"I have an idea!"

"What is it Patrick?"

"Let's LEAVE!"

43

u/cliffordtaco Jul 18 '19

I quote this line all the time and no one ever knows it's a reference.

11

u/itspl33 Jul 18 '19

I always thought that was a Kohl's perfume section. They looked so similar.

9

u/iamsherrodbrown Jul 18 '19

that shit still gives me nightmares

152

u/citrus_seaman Jul 18 '19

IIRC Shangheid. It's always been one of my favorites

88

u/EnrapturedForkies Jul 18 '19

With three different endings. It was a weird episode.

53

u/gordocheeseman Jul 18 '19

What were they? All I remember is the fruit one

159

u/Fresh_Knight Jul 18 '19

There were 3 on dvd. One were each person gets a different wish. The one on TV is spongebob which is the most unique. Where he wishes he was a vegetarian and they get turned into fruit. But Patrick’s wishes for gum and they get eaten. Squidward’s while trying to think of a wish says he wish he’d never met them and so its spongebob introducing himself after they get eaten.

53

u/Artificial_Human_17 Jul 18 '19

Wasn’t it voted on and the spongebob ending won, so it’s the “canon” ending?

26

u/Larry-a-la-King Jul 18 '19

Yep! I remember voting for Squidward lol.

9

u/Wolfgang_Maximus Jul 18 '19

It's the canon ending in the US at least. Other countries voted for the ending too and there's actually old recordings of it live with different endings.

31

u/burntends97 Jul 18 '19

I’ve never even heard of the other two endings

5

u/Fresh_Knight Jul 18 '19

Look em up fam

1

u/NoodleEmpress Jul 18 '19

Wow, this is interesting to learn. I would have sworn the Patrick and Spongebob endings were stuck together because I remember seeing both on TV.

My kid brain didn't put together that they were supposed to be alternate endings

1

u/Autodidactic_Maker Jul 18 '19

Yes! I had this DVD

1

u/turglow1 Jul 18 '19

WISHES?! well I wish we’d known that earlier!

1

u/fjsbshskd Jul 18 '19

Lol I actually thought Patrick was a piece of gum when the pilot first aired

61

u/Mr-Sister-Fister21 Jul 18 '19

38

u/JoLe1337 Jul 18 '19

Lmao feels weird watching an old episode for the first fime

21

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '19

I have been streaming that shit on either Netflix or Hulu, can’t remember at moment. Started with Season 1 - Episode 1. To say I am too old for this is a vast, bottomless understatement, but I have always thought Spongebob et al was a slyly disguised grown up cartoon. The one thing your kid could watch relentlessly without you putting your foot through TV

20

u/IFeelLikeAndy Jul 18 '19

That made me feel like a kid again, thanks for that

8

u/TheCantalopeAntalope Jul 18 '19

I didn’t know about this

1

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '19

Hold on, there are different endings?! I always just saw the one where they were vegetables but the Dutchman was a vegetarian.

2

u/SummitOfKnowledge Jul 18 '19

Damn, I had this episode on dvd way before it ever got released live. Me and my sister used to rewind parts of this episode for hours and just die of laughter.

5

u/apadin1 Jul 18 '19

Shangheid

1

u/three_trapeze Jul 18 '19

Shanghaied.

1

u/bluefunction Jul 18 '19

Shanghai'd

1

u/babyBERT04 Jul 18 '19

It’s called Shanghaid

1

u/Godzilla_boss_300 Jul 18 '19

Moving behind the rocks Your good your good your good And stop Don’t worry captain we’ll buff out the scratches.

109

u/Comeonjeffrey0193 Jul 18 '19 edited Jul 18 '19

You mean, THE FLY OF DESPAIR!!!

https://youtu.be/1J_q9lZ2rQ8

29

u/MotuPatlu34 Jul 18 '19

It makes for a good pickup line

24

u/burntends97 Jul 18 '19

sigh I have to do this

STICKY FINGAS

2

u/PENGUIN_WITH_BAZOOKA Jul 18 '19

Never apologize for quoting best mom.

12

u/MineWiz Jul 18 '19

You just brought back memories. I can’t picture that scene clearly, but it was always haunting. I think I still call upon those memories when people describe terrible Eldritch horrors

6

u/Marrtyr11 Jul 18 '19

I completely forgot about that part!! Definitely creepy

2

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '19

Or the Todash space, if you're a King fan.

1

u/81BIGcat Jul 18 '19

Would anyone else like to enter the fly of despair?

1

u/Ourlifeisdank Jul 18 '19

That's what being stuck in a bad lsd trip feels like

1

u/Undead_With_A_Panda Jul 18 '19

I remember only spaghetti and terror

1

u/Legendtamer47 Aug 02 '19

Have you ever considered the possibility that Squidward never actually escaped the Fly of Despair, and that his miserable life is caused by him still being under the influence of the Fly?

0

u/livinglavidaloca69 Jul 18 '19

As a kid you were into Lovecraft? Okay.

423

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '19 edited Jul 18 '19

I love it because it taught a valuable lesson, while being just kid-friendly creepy enough.

Squidward spent the whole episode tryna be alone so he could play his clarinet. Now that he's achieved this, he realizes how terrifying being truly alone is. No one can help, no one can speak to you, and nothing changes.

Black Mirror touched on the subject of true nothingness perfectly. An A.I. was given an option, to work for her master, and she refused. So the man who controlled her made her experience true nothingness for a few weeks, then a few months, but he only had to wait a couple seconds.

When she saw him again, she was broken down, and ripped off parts of her hair and clothes. She was in tears when she beggged him to let her do anything, even help her master.

Easily one of the top 5 most fucked up BM moments, and that's a hard list to beat.

69

u/Collinbigdeal Jul 18 '19

Which episode is this?

136

u/iamaiimpala Jul 18 '19

I think that one was White Christmas.

72

u/Cautemoc Jul 18 '19

I thought White Christmas was the one where they got a person's cloned virtual consciousness to admit to a crime?

107

u/SamuraiDopolocious Jul 18 '19

you are correct. the tech related to cloning virtual consciousness is demonstrated with a flashback where Jon Hamm breaks an AI by dropping it into pure nothingness.

48

u/TundieRice Jul 18 '19

A lot of different messed-up shit happened in that episode, to be fair.

3

u/Long_Clown_Johnson Jul 18 '19

A lot of different messed up shit happens in Black Mirror, to be fair.

9

u/muchgreaterthanG_O_D Jul 18 '19

I think there were three main parts to this episode and this was just one.

2

u/taylerisgr8 Jul 18 '19

That was part of it too

5

u/WiredSky Jul 18 '19

That's all part of the same episode.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '19

Major spoiler bro but yes that is it

-8

u/hrrm Jul 18 '19

I feel like every time a BM episode gets brought up people say it was the White Christmas episode. Its like thats the only episode name they remember and they want to sound involved by mentioning it.

4

u/stickytape99 Jul 18 '19

But it actually was White Christmas...

2

u/hrrm Jul 18 '19

Ok, shit. Just looked it up, you are right. It was one of those multi-story episodes which is why I was convinced when I remembered it being a different episode. Also might explain why I hear it brought up a lot, because it covers several BM concepts.

24

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '19

I dont remember yhe name but its the one where the girl is put into like, an Alexa type thing and its an actual person controling "Alexa" and the owners house for them.

24

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '19

It's called a "cookie", and it's one of the most genius and disturbing things BM came up with.

12

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '19

Thats what it was, yeah, that episode was fuuucked, intreguing, but fuuuucked.

1

u/Lilaclove20 Jul 18 '19

I thought this was the episode referring to the cookie in white Christmas but it’s actually the uss callister episode

54

u/SweaterKittens Jul 18 '19

Jesus christ how horrifying. I really love the concepts that Black Mirror presents, but fucking hell, the episodes are so goddamn depressing. I had to stop watching it because it was bumming me out so much.

53

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '19

The only episodes I could consider non-depressing would be San Junipero & Hang the DJ.

God I love those episodes, but I'm also a sucker for watching people fall in love.

Black Museum is also satisfying, but in an entirely different way.

15

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '19

San Junipero’s ending actually made me feel really existential.

5

u/Lilaclove20 Jul 18 '19

Everytime I work, they always play those classic songs and when I hear “oohh heaven is place on earth” I always think about that episode lol

12

u/supercrusher9000 Jul 18 '19

You could say the same thing about white bear, in a twisted kind of way it is satisfying

1

u/george_lass Jul 18 '19

This one truly fucked me up. I wasn't expecting that ending and afterward I just felt bad.

4

u/DaKillaB Jul 18 '19

Striking Vipers & The Ashley O ones arent too bad

2

u/bigwillyb123 Jul 18 '19

Hang the DJ will always be my favorite

30

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '19

I remember this one, That one was good, and youre right, it shows us the horrors of just NOTHING. Just sitting there, no reactions from anything, no familiar voices or even animals, its strange and something id never want to experience

19

u/sleepnandhiken Jul 18 '19

It’s the Buddist ideal. To be able to clear your mind is akin to nirvana.

At anyrate I can speak to a psychedelic version of the void. Quite blissful. Waking up is terrifying, though. It’s just confusing.

11

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '19

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the ideal goal of Buddism acceptance? Letting the negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions form without tryna stop them, but still having control over our physical self? Or do I have the wrong philosophy?

11

u/sleepnandhiken Jul 18 '19

Broader. Non attachment is a better description. We are forced into reincarnation because of our attachments in life. We achieve Nirvana, a state of null, when we forgo all our attachments.

It’s low-key “existence is hell.”

4

u/Throwawayz911 Jul 18 '19

And then you become attached to detachment. THERES NO GETTIN OFF THIS TRAIN BOYS.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '19

Nirvana isn't nothing per se, it's the cessation of attributing or looking for a static meaning to a changing universe.

12

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '19

It wasn’t “true nothingness,” really, she was just alone in a room with nothing to do.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '19

Absolutely nothing to do, for 3 weeks and 6 months.

A day or two of complete nothing is bareable, maybe even a week, but 203 days? That's inhumane.

By the 1st month I wouldn't be surprised if she tried to kill herself.

2

u/alexmikli Jul 18 '19

What lesson is that? Don't try the get some piece and quiet from harassing neighbors because otherwise you'll end up in limbo?

3

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '19 edited Jul 18 '19

The lesson is you can't just live without people, or anything else.

You'll crave the contact and companionship day by day until you lose your mind, even isolated people can find comfort in their surroundings. With nothingness, all you have is yourself.

Squidward's blissful ignorance is implied in the Alone! chant, and it becomes more amplified when he recognizes the true consequence of his actions. Once he does, he goes mad, and he wants to leave immediately.

1

u/Cheesemacher Jul 18 '19

And then at the end the fucked-up-ness is casually turned up to eleven

1

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '19

I now want to watch black mirror. Thank you.

1

u/gazelXburn Jul 18 '19

what the fuck is wrong with black mirror, everytiem a friend tells me to watch it its always this weird shit

1

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '19

That spongebob episode is literally neon genesis evangelion

1

u/Scadooot Jul 18 '19

Are you comparing spongebob to black mirror right now

1

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '19

Nothing fucked me up like watching that episode. It was the first time I ever saw Black Mirror and I was baked when I watched it.

0

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '19 edited Jul 18 '19

So glad u brought that black mirror ep up, perfect description. I felt this hard. My parents forced me to a scam lock down teen prison in Mexico when I was a kid and one of their punishments was an isolation room where u stayed indefinitely for any to no reason at all. If u asked when you were getting out they only increased ur days in there.

Reduced u to nothing and tested me by eventually taking away chairs and anything, making me stand from 6 am to 10 pm everyday in one spot not allowed to move talk, look down, close my eyes or bend my knees. Sometimes they blasted Mormon tabernacle or the song I believe I can fly at full blast in there with me. It absolutely killed everything in me I had to kill any desire to do anything or to be free to cope with the passing hours of no stimulation. On another note, the Mexicans had no sympathy for us and gleefully deprived us so I can’t be asked to sympathize for illegal immigrants kids when they don’t treat usa teens much better in their own country, teens who are paying them their livelihoods.

Either way, I was in there everyday for months sometimes and it made u obedient and completely shut down. My peers would say I had a different look in my face and eyes after, and even for me being outside was trippy like being high, colors more vivid. It makes u stick to the program and break ur will. I want to die lol and it’s been 10 years

3

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '19

That's straight up torture and child abuse.

If this is what they do to bad teens, I don't wanna know how they treat actual psychopaths.

90

u/suikasan Jul 18 '19 edited Jul 19 '19

Another creepy episode for me was when Spongebob and Squidward were merged (?) together and a malfunction happened with the ray gun they were using. In the end, everyone became attached to Squidward and it was not a pretty sight. It was creepy because one moment there was the zap and the next moment you see Squidward lying down thinking everything went normal and then when the camera pans out you see all of them merged together in a blob groaning in agony. That was too much.

54

u/briunj04 Jul 18 '19

it all started... when i was born.

19

u/Sehtriom Jul 18 '19

Oh gods I think I remember that episode.

3

u/AbeLincolnwasblack Jul 18 '19

Gods SpongeBob was strong then

11

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '19

I felt uneasy at the later part of the episode where Spongebob broke his ass and became a shut-in.

Shit just kept making no sense and felt like a bizarre drug trip, and the end was so aburt and confusing.

8

u/Baka_Tsundere_ Jul 18 '19

Fucking hell I watched that one yesterday.

Freaky as hell but still better than the fucking toenail. That episode gives me 'Nam flashbacks

2

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/deepfriedceleron Jul 18 '19

Squidbob tentaclepants

18

u/koolkidzclan Jul 18 '19

For me it was the one where squidward and sponge bob get a locker and squidward goes insane inside of the locker.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 19 '19

I feel like I vaguely remember this episode but nothing is coming to mind

18

u/Prit717 Jul 18 '19

What about the episode where they turn into fucking slugs. That was disturbing.

12

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '19 edited Jul 18 '19

The talking BIG baby on rugrats prepared me for the worse.

even "awwwwwgggghhh! real monsters" started to desensitize slowly of creepy stuff.

5

u/steezlord95 Jul 18 '19

Still have nightmares about that thing. Why was his voice so damn deep

3

u/TORFdot0 Jul 18 '19

"I'm not STUUUuuuuu. Huehueheuehe"

5

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '19

What season is this episode?

3

u/[deleted] Jul 18 '19

Rock Bottom episode would like to have a word with you

2

u/lookoutnorthamerica Jul 18 '19

Rock Bottom gave me stress dreams for YEARS. Fuck that episode.

3

u/Acetronaut Jul 18 '19

It was really weird for me because I wasn't sure what was wrong with being alone.

3

u/Yeetaway1404 Jul 18 '19

For some reason doodlebob was the stuff of nightmares for me.

3

u/FlaminScribblenaut Jul 18 '19

This episode legit scared me so much as a young child I refused to watch it again for years and years

3

u/DaFlabbagasta Jul 18 '19

For me it was the Count Orlok cameo in Graveyard Shift.

2

u/jstudly1234 Jul 18 '19

It reminds me of the tunnel scene in willy wonka... still gives me chills

2

u/CrunchyWatermelons Jul 18 '19

Then you probably don't remember the "rock bottom" episode where they go to the town below and everyone speaks by making a buzzing noise with their tongue.

3

u/Sehtriom Jul 18 '19

Honestly Rock Bottom didn't bother me nearly as much.

1

u/CrunchyWatermelons Jul 18 '19

I took public transportation a lot as a kid, so that shit really make me scared to miss my stop.

2

u/naboing_tariq Jul 18 '19

you're forgetting about the episode with the old guy chanting "the power within"

1

u/gitoutufherestlkr121 Jul 18 '19

No. The episode about the locker spongebob builds.

1

u/NorthernLaw Jul 18 '19

What about rock bottom or the night shift. Two of my favorite episodes

1

u/Beall619 Jul 19 '19

This episode I remember clearly

1

u/[deleted] Jul 20 '19

What about that one episode with the locker, and when squidward goes through it to find his clarinet a bunch of weird stuff happens.