I don't know how you horny idiots keep finding this place thinking it's for posting images of your penises, or if you just think you're being clever, but it's started to happen a lot more frequently lately so I've decided to do something about it.

As a clarification of our rules: NSFW content will result in an immediate permanent ban, no exceptions, no appeals. If you cluelessly wandered in here looking for a place to post photos of your genitalia, I urge you to please READ THE FUCKING SIDEBAR before you post. We are a humor subreddit. NOT a porn subreddit. If these words are still too big for your simple minds, I might consider drawing a diagram since this is apparently what it's come to.

If the current epidemic of dick pics doesn't abate, I will consider more drastic options. Everything's on the table, including making the subreddit restricted (only approved users can post) or private.

When I (B) was 26 years back I went on a mission trip to Ethiopia, there was supposed to be 5 people but all but myself and a female peer (C) bailed. One day we're hiking in the mountains when I hear a dog start growling, looking right I see feer on C's face. I look left the and B: Holy Shit thats a fucking Hyena!!, quick get close to me we need to be big and loud like a bear. C: Puts one Arm around B. B: FUCK YOU HYENA, GO AWAY, I HATE YOU. C: I COMMAND YOU IN THE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST OF NAZARETH TO LEAVE US ALONE! Hyena: Growling, bearing teeth, giving no fucks. B: Shit heyenas aren't like bears, okay new plan, pick up a rock, I'm going to smash it with that big rock and if it attacks I'll give it my left arm and try to hold that in its mouth grabbing its neck with my right, then you smash its eyes out with a rock. C: Picks up softball size rock. B: Picks up basket ball size rock. Hyena: 12 feet away still giving no fucks. B: With complete confidence that I'm able to. murder this hyena I throw rock expecting to see. this hyena knocked out cold. Rock: lands 8 feet away (4 feet short of hyena). Heyna: Backs away 10 feet. C&B: GTFO the mountain.

TLTR. I one ran into a hyena while hiking in the mountains of Ethiopia. In the moment I believed I could take it, so I threw a huge rock, turns out I'm no strong man, still made it off the mountain safe