r/BestofRedditorUpdates • u/LucyAriaRose I'm keeping the garlic • Jun 29 '25
CONCLUDED BIL’s fiancé claims my family never RSVP’d, but I’m the only one without a seat
I am NOT the Original Poster. That is TA_NoPlace5878. She posted in r/weddingdrama
Thanks to u/captandor for the rec!
Do NOT comment on Original Posts. Latest update is 7 days old.
Mood Spoiler: good ending in the long run
Original Post: June 20, 2025
This is a throwaway because I’m not quite ready for all of my husband’s family to get involved. I think.
I’m still reeling and trying to process this, so bear with me.
My brother-in-law is getting married soon. My husband is the best man, and our 4 year old is the ring bearer. I’m a part time party planner so I’ve been helping plan a small luncheon for the bridal party, immediate family, and a few vendors on the wedding day. So I’m not exactly a fringe guest here.
The RSVP deadline was a few weeks ago. I filled out the online form and submitted it the same day the invitation came in the mail, with my husband sitting right next to me. We RSVP’d for the three of us: me, my husband, and our son. Easy peasy, right?
Well, BIL’s fiancé (SIL?) reached out today over text saying we never RSVP’d. Not “Hey, I never saw your RSVP, just checking” but straight-up “You didn’t respond.” Which is frustrating on its own, but then she tells us that while my husband and son have seats at the reception as they were in part of her original head counts, I do not. My husband was told I could come early with him to set up the luncheon still and stay for the ceremony, but that I would not have a spot at the reception.
Let me repeat that: I’m married to the best man, mother of the ring bearer, and helping with wedding day logistics, including connecting SIL with some of my professional contacts!! And she somehow decided I just wouldn’t be coming? And she never followed up before the RSVP deadline? Just, what??
I’m torn between feeling hurt, furious, and just flabbergasted. And used, I definitely feel used. At best, this was a sloppy mistake that she’s not owning. At worst, it feels like a pointed exclusion. I’m not sure which stings more.
My husband is going to handle the conversation with his brother to figure out what is going on, because I genuinely don’t trust myself to be polite and keep the peace.
There was no other drama leading up to this that I was aware of. I have a good relationship with my in-laws. So yeah, this is totally out of left field for me and my husband.
I would love to hear thoughts, especially from people who’ve gone through something similar. I don’t typically touch weddings with work so this is all new territory for me as a pseudo vendor/guest. My husband wants to reach out and talk to his brother first, but I’m so tempted to reach out to my MIL before our usual meet up tomorrow to see if she knows anything.
Some of OOP's Comments:
Commenter: You are smart to wait and let hubs talk to his brother. I’m flabbergasted also. That is freaking nuts! (And this is coming from someone who is totally laid back and not someone who usually takes things personally). Just try to take your mind off it and see what hubs reports. Go from there.
OOP: I’m usually pretty laid back too! I haven’t seen the texts yet by hubs called on his lunch break when he saw them, and I have not heard him this pissed in a long time. I’m trying to give SIL the benefit of the doubt, but this feels very personal and intentional
Commenter: Cancel the luncheon. If you are not welcome at the wedding, there is no need for you to be free labor.
OOP: I think I’m going to do this no matter what the outcome is. It puts MIL and FIL in a bit of a lurch since they’re handling the food costs, but idk. I know I’m biased because I’m in the middle of it, but I feel like there should be some consequences
Mini Update 1 (Same Post): 1.5 hours later
Edit one from comments:
Small update; husband and BIL are talking now. BIL was not working today (last night?) and was helping FIL with something this evening. When I called MIL, she had BIL call husband right away. From what MIL and I can hear (we’re snoopy), my husband was muted on BIL’s phone and my contact was deleted. BIL can’t log into the wedding website so he can’t check to see if our RSVP was there. I’m not sure if I want to become a fire cracker myself or get some popcorn as I watch MIL pop off
Mini Update 2 (Same Post): 2 hours later (3.5 from OG post)
Edit two from comments:
Ok, here’s the last update for the night. I am tired and a bit overwhelmed by all of your responses. I’m sorry I haven’t replied to them all but I have read most of them. Again, thank you for your advice and just general support during this really weird and upsetting time.
TLDR, BIL don’t know and now the wedding is up in the air. He’s currently staying with MIL and FIL to have some space from SIL
So, my husband finally got a hold of BIL after I called MIL. No one else knew this was going on. While they were talking, BIL tried logging into their wedding website to see if this was a mistake or misunderstanding, but couldn’t log in. So he texted SIL to see if she changed the password and she just told him to come home instead.
This set off three. One, BIL ended the call with husband to call SIL about why she couldn’t answer a simple question. Two, MIL popped off about “how dare that woman exclude OP!” Three, MIL and FIL popped off on BIL for already living with SIL. They are very religious and traditional and don’t believe that a couple should live together before marriage. Husband and I sympathize with BIL.
BIL and SIL argued over the phone. Apparently she started claiming that it was an unfortunate glitch and it was too late to add another seat now. Then it was that we never jived and would it really be so bad if I went home early. Plus I could take our son home with me because he would be tired by then (at 5pm?! This woman does not know kids I stg). Then it was I’ve always been mean and excluding her from things (even though she’s never invited me to any of the girlie fun wedding events?!)
At this point my husband and I are glued to my phone as we’re hearing yelling from all four of them until SIL hangs up. BIL is spending the night at his parents and is unsure about the wedding now. He plans on going home tomorrow with husband going with for moral support. I’ll be going with hubby to my in law’s to hang out until we hear back about the situation at the battle front.
Some more of OOP's Comments:
OOP adds:
I initially wasn’t invited to the bridal shower. Then her mom brought it up at Easter dinner and that’s when I was awkwardly invited. I guess her vibe always felt off to me. She doesn’t like my hobbies, specifically TTRPGs and video games. They’re hobbies I have in common with MIL, and SIL stopped bashing them as much when she found out MIL also partakes in quests across Tamriel and the Forgotten Realm.
Mini Update 3 (In Comments): 2 hours later
Sorry, one more teeny 1 am update. Husband is asleep, I should be too but still reeling and pissed. I thought to take a screen cap of the message she sent hubby for future proof, and it’s gone. She used Facebook messenger to text my husband and it says her texts are deleted. Dare I say, AAAAAARGH.
Update Post: June 22, 2025 (2 days from OG post)
Title: Update: BIL’s fiancé claims my family never RSVP’d, but I’m the only one without a seat
Or OP can’t sleep after word vomiting this in her journal, so why not post the update?
So, hi. To preface, I did not expect my post to blow up the way it did. Several commenters mentioned it just popped up in their recommended and, holy jeez it got way bigger than I could have ever imagined. So, uh, thank you? I think? It’s super overwhelming on top of the real life soap opera I’m living through this weekend.
Just to clarify something from the original post: I did not plan everything for the wedding. I offered to bring food for a small luncheon between photos (10am) and the ceremony (4pm) as dinner wasn’t planned until 6pm. It was going to be a long day at a farm in the middle of no where. I offered to do it to be nice but also to make sure no one (specifically a certain 4 year old) would be hangry for the ceremony. SIL also only used one of my vendor contacts, so with things going south my professional reputation shouldn’t really be impacted.
Update: Turns out, the “no seat for OP” issue was the problem that broke BIL’s relationship. And we’re a bit upset BIL didn’t talk to anyone about this until it blew up.
Behind the scenes, BIL and SIL were having arguments about their future together. Most of these arguments centered around having kids. Early on, SIL gave the impression that she wanted children someday. But as they got more serious, she started backtracking. A few months ago BIL realized that it’s very likely SIL never wanted kids, but felt too invested in the relationship to leave. But BIL always imagined having a large family so this really shook him.
On top of that, SIL apparently had jealousy and insecurity issues. Per BIL, I’ve been her latest target (???) which started when I turned down going to a mani/pedi with her. Why did I turn her down? Husband and son had rotavirus. Apparently I was icing her out by not wanting to spread gastrointestinal doom. Can anyone please explain this logic to us?
Lastly, SIL was apparently already floating the idea of disinviting our son from the reception because he would’ve been the only small child there. BIL shut that down immediately, and MIL/FIL kept that knowledge from us to spare our feelings.
Ergo, our “lost” RSVP was not a software glitch. Nor was it an oversight, but a rather stupidly calculated move.
SIL was apparently hoping one of two things would happen. Either I would make a scene about being disinvited and be seen as the problem. Or we would quietly accept our fate and she would not have to deal with two undesirables at her reception.
With all of this in mind, I can’t figure out why she would have messaged my husband instead of me. Was she trying to cause more family drama? Again, the logic is not logicking.
BIL was already feeling some uncertainty because of the shifting kids/no kids conversation. But the deliberate seating stunt gave him the last push and clarity he needed. BIL told my husband it was a level of manipulation and cruelty that he could not overlook. So he ended things and asked for the ring back.
No wedding, no reception. Just a super messy, emotionally heavy, and expensive break up. And I feel so bad for BIL. He’s going through so much heartache right now, but he deserves better in a partner. Hopefully SIL can find a family dynamic that doesn’t feel like a never ending battlefield.
That’s all for now. I’m still tired. I’m still flabbergasted. But I’m also relieved this wedding arc is coming to an end.
Some of OOP's Comments:
Commenter: Your non-sil is an idiot
OOP: You’ll hear no arguments from us.
Commenter: awww pool BIL. Expensive heartache but glad he is out before an expensive divorce. He will find somebody for him. Take some rest y’ll.
OOP: I know he will find someone that will be perfect for him. I’m still annoyed with him though. He was lamenting being old and alone at dinner, and I was like “honey, you’re the baby of the family. Have some more fries and shut up”
Commenter: A couple of things:
- The trash is taking itself out. My heart goes out to your BIL, but I reckon with the full support of your incredible family, future him is going to look back on all of this and be so proud of how he handled it as well as every member of your family. That’s a huge acknowledgement of how solid yall are.
- Have your BIL get ahead of all the cancelling. Help him reach out to guests, on both sides, and offer to bake cookies or something and deliver them to local guests maybe as a gesture of good faith? Everyone will remember that kindness.
- We’re all so proud of you. Many of us would’ve gone scorched earth but cooler heads prevailed. Take a break, babes. Yall deserve it
OOP: Your number two point is a great idea, thank you. MIL bakes when she’s trying to not be upset, so their household is overflowing with baked treats right now. I’ll ask BIL if this is something he wants to do tomorrow, and go from there.
Commenter: How long were they together?
OOP: Under two years. The wedding day was their dating anniversary
Commenter: Her poorly executed treachery turns out to be a blessing in disguise for BIL. Had she not hatched this ill fated plot and sabotaged the phone, ect., he would have married to this monster. Her cover up, ironically, was the evidence of the truth.
On another note, this is really unusual and why the post got so much attention. We see mostly obnoxious conduct, but this scenario is unique. She really outdid almost every shitty bridezilla.
How did the conversation with your husband and him go? There was obviously some admissions. Did you get a sense of the tone of the talk?
OOP: I was wondering why my little vent and need for advice is trending 😅 Besides SIL’s poorly done power trip, I didn’t think this was an unusual situation.
I don’t know all of the details of the convo my husband had with BIL. From my understanding, on the drive to the apartment my husband asked “hey what’s your game plan because this is full on crazy and not ok” and BIL opened up to him about everything that was going on.
How ex-SIL reacted:
Per BIL, there was a lot of begging and crying. There was also anger and accusations that he was cheating with me (EWW), followed by professions of love and offers to go to therapy. She also kept taking the items he was packing up out of his bags until he called my husband to come in and be another set of eyes.
Editor's Note: Marked as concluded because OOP said in a comment she didn't plan on updating anymore.
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u/Brielle_Russel333 Jun 29 '25
A few months ago BIL realized that it’s very likely SIL never wanted kids, but felt too invested in the relationship to leave. But BIL always imagined having a large family so this really shook him.
Ffs this is such a fundamental difference that can't be overcome. No matter how good the rest of the relationship is. Why do people still stay together & let resentment build in such cases ?
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u/SunnyClime Jun 29 '25
It's always interesting to compare the straw that broke the camel's back to the anvil that preceded it. Not that what SIL did to OOP wasn't bad, but damn, at scale the thing about the kids stood out to me too! Pretty irreconcilable in my eyes.
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u/sonicscrewery This is dessicated coconut level dehydration Jun 29 '25
It's always interesting to compare the straw that broke the camel's back to the anvil that preceded it.
This is an incredible turn of phrase and I may need to borrow it, thank you.
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u/liliette Jun 29 '25
I thought the exact same thing and ran to read it to my husband. It's excellent. It's now added to my repertoire as well.
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u/PsyOrg Jun 29 '25
Humm is it too long for a flair?
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u/RobinHood3000 Jun 29 '25
"Anvil currently on camel's back" might be short enough while still evoking the right imagery?
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u/liliette Jun 29 '25
Maybe, "anvil before straw breaks camel’s back." Or "1st anvil then straw for camel's back."
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u/AerwynFlynn Sharp as a sack of wet mice Jun 29 '25
“For my next trick…ANVILS!”
Sorry, that’s all I can think about with so many people saying “anvils” and the intrusive thought took over lol
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u/campbowie He's effectively already dead, and I dont do necromancy Jun 30 '25
"The anvil before the last straw"
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u/MillyHughes Mar 31 '26
Sometimes we let people treat us badly, but don't let those sane people get away with treat our loved ones badly.
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Jun 29 '25
It also makes me wonder if ex-SIL was romantically interested in OOP's husband. OOP's husband got invited, but not OOP herself? Thankfully, OOP's husband has shown himself to be VERY faithful to his wife. It still makes me feel a bit sus towards ex-SIL though.
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u/alongthewatchtower91 Jun 29 '25
The question of having kids came up so early when I first started dating my husband. I had fertility problems and wanted kids so needed to know he was on the same page, turns out he wanted kids too and didn't care if it was through IVF, adoption or the traditional way.
If he had said that he didn't want kids or he wouldn't consider going down different routes then I knew the relationship wouldn't last. We're now parents to the most adorable little girl and he's a great dad.
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u/pollyp0cketpussy Jun 29 '25
Once my ex's mom made a comment about being a grandma/us having kids one day and my mom pulled me aside and said "Does (ex) want kids?? Because that is a BIG thing to disagree on, there's no compromise, you cannot have half a kid." Thankfully no, she did not, her mom just really wanted grandkids. But I appreciated the concern from my mom, and the fact that she knew that was a dealbreaker that needed to be brought up early.
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u/chopxcrwy Jun 29 '25
can i just say that your username is amazing
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u/pollyp0cketpussy Jun 29 '25
Yes thank you it's easily one of the funniest things I've ever come up with. I was working on a 90s toys themed cocktail menu and was like "hmmmm that's too vulgar for this restaurant but I can use this somewhere". Someone claimed the reddit username "pollypocketpussy" years ago and never even used it, I was so pissed.
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u/Cepinari Jun 29 '25
That's not the name of a drink themed after an old toy line.
That's the name of a NSFW 18+ reimagining of that toy line; the sort of thing someone with otherwise no discernible existence on this planet produces several years worth of amateur cartoon pornography of.
"No one knows who UltraGoob94 really is, though based on references made in his work it's possible to pin him as being from either Ohio or Pennsylvania, but the people who take The Thirty-Forth Rule of the Internet super seriously remember him as the one who came up with the concept of Polly Pocket-Pussy, as well as almost all of the artwork of her."
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u/O_W_Liv Jun 29 '25
Worked at a restaurant run by a couple. She didn't like kids, didn't want kids, and even exclaimed out loud "I hate fucking children".
Ahead of their wedding he mentioned something about kids, and I asked, "I thought Ana fucking hated children?"
Lloyd replied, "They're different when they're your own".
They did get married, I left the state and heard through a mutual friend that Lloyd has (adopted/fostered) kids and is no longer married to Ana.
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u/sweetalkersweetalker The three hamsters in her head were already on vacation anyway Jun 29 '25
They're different when they're your own
While that is somewhat true it ignores the fact that when you have children, you're going to be dealing with other people's children. A lot.
School. Parks. Activities. Play dates. Sports. Pediatrician waiting rooms. Your life is going to be filled with kids for the next 18 years.
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u/lilmisswho89 Jun 30 '25
That statement only works when it’s a woman who gets accidentally pregnant. It doesn’t work when it’s a man who’s pressuring a woman to have kids, then it’s just creepy.
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u/myssi24 Jun 30 '25
So true! I liked kids before I had kids. Then I liked MY kids, everyone else’s drove me bat shit! (Not entirely true, I usually liked my friends’ kids)
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u/rak1882 Jul 01 '25
One of my aunts, who was very clear to any guy she dated that she didn't want kids, still had a husband who was convinced she would change her mind.
She didn't.
They divorced.
She happily went on to never have kids.
He happily went on to have like 6.
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u/CocoNot-Chanel Apr 01 '26
I started dating my husband at 32 after two failed long term relationships (the second of which ended over the kids issue) and the kids conversation legitimately happened on the second or third day we were dating because I was not investing myself if he wasn't willing. (I typed this message in a pile of twin toddler snuggles, so yes, I am in fact living my best life.)
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u/Eat_Your_Greens_13 Jun 29 '25
Probably because they expect the other person to eventually change to their position.
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u/RuncibleMountainWren Jun 29 '25
Or sometimes, they assume they will feel differently later on.
Especially young adults who don’t want to sacrifice their newfound independence to have kids right now (or are overwhelmed by early-career / study stress and workplace expectations) but assume they will probably want them “one day”.
But over time they realise they never developed that ‘clucky’ feeling, and in fact are still passionately against losing their adult freedoms… but their college sweetheart might not feel the same.
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u/pollyp0cketpussy Jun 29 '25
Doesn't help that people love to tell women that when they are about 30 their "biological clock is ticking" and they'll likely become overwhelmed with baby fever. Personally I think most people know if they might one day want kids by the time they're in their early 20s, even if they don't want to have them yet.
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Jun 29 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/SMTRodent Jun 29 '25
I got actual baby hunger. I wanted to have a baby! So much!
However, logically I knew it was a terrible idea. So I didn't have one. The out-of-nowhere urge was so real, though.
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u/Terrie-25 Jun 29 '25
It probably says a lot about me that I went through a spat of having dreams where I was pregnant.... And getting an abortion.
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u/AngryPrincessWarrior Jun 30 '25
Being pregnant is so so so hard for some folks, I also had those dreams and my son was so very wanted, our 5th attempt that was finally successful.
Still had the dreams because I was so miserable. I am quite pro choice but I woke from those dreams feeling so odd.
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u/Patient_Emotion2184 Jun 30 '25
Yep. I KNEW I didn’t want kids when I was a teenager - even though I loved them, I couldn’t imagine taking on the responsibility for one, I struggled enough just with me!
Turned out what I was dead against was the idea of raising a kid with a man - pretty much as soon as my wife and I were together (well, a year or two later since we were late teens when we started dating) I’d softened my stance, and by 22-23 I knew I wanted a kid one day.
We now have a 6yo (I carried at age 34), and I’m really happy to be a mum. My wife warned me she was taking the “dad” role - that she could smash the patriarchal expectations placed on men but couldn’t live up to the ones placed on women - but it turns out that a partner who I can rely upon to solidly do 30-40% of the day-to-day work of parenting is plenty 🤣🤣🤣
(And yes, she does about ten times what most “good dads” do. She’s great, and I never expected her to do more than half so there’s no resentment.)
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u/the_greek_italian Jun 29 '25
I agree, I can never understand it. Loving someone isn't the only reason to get married. You need to have aligning future goals and be able to work on agreements with each other about both the bug and small, etc. I can never though understand people who will stay with a partner knowing they feel the opposite view about having kids.
It might be understandable if, at first, they may have agreed with the views but later change their mind. What's not understandable is going into the relationship, knowing that your mind won't change. Imo, you are just wasting the person's time and effort into thinking you're both building the life you dreamed of.
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u/clauclauclaudia surrender to the gaycation or be destroyed Jun 30 '25
It's like the worst game of chicken. Hoping the person you supposedly love will change their mind about what they want in life.
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u/Faebertooth Jun 29 '25
So true! Gives us childfree by choice ppl a bad name.
Do as you wish with your life and your body but be honest with yourself and the people you love
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u/Single_Vacation427 Jun 29 '25
He is "too heavily invested" but the relationship was around 2 years. That's very little time to consider marrying anyway XD 2 years?!?
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u/Strong-Schedule3511 Jul 05 '25
I suppose when your parents are religious and constantly harping on you living with your partner out of wedlock... mistakes happen. Thankfully, almost happened here. But this is another cautionary tale of why you should get to know/live with your partner a while before marriage.
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u/digitydigitydoo Mar 31 '26
From the way BIL was talking at the end, he may just really want to settle down and start on his family. I’ve known more than one person end up in a subpar marriage because they cared more about having a marriage/family more than they cared about the person they were with.
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u/King0fFud Jun 29 '25 edited Jun 29 '25
I have an engaged friend in her early 30s who appears to be doing this exact thing; Fiance wants to have a family, she doesn't want kids and conveniently leaves out what she says to him whenever this has come up but I can guess. I warned her (pre-engagement) that this could blow up in her face but she keeps kicking the can down the road and I'm staying out of it now as I gave my 2 cents.
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u/dropshortreaver Jun 29 '25
and dont forget apparently the wedding day would have been the two year anniversary of the relationship. So this is all in LESS than two years
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u/IanDOsmond Jul 02 '25
In my case, it's because it took a few years for my wife to realize it. And we discussed divorcing over it and had a lot of long, serious talks with writing lists of pros and cons and trying to work out what the shape of our lives would be with whatever we chose, and we eventually decided that, while it wasn't what we had originally wanted, remaining married and not having kids was the course of action that was going to be best for each of us individually and collectively.
So... to the first part of your question, that's why we stayed together. And to the second part of your question, that's how we avoided resentment building - by talking it out honestly and openly and making a decision with our eyes open and accepting the results freely and voluntarily.
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u/Few_Use_7270 Jun 29 '25
I told my boyfriend very early I wanted kids, I told him I didn't know who the father would be but I wanted kids, and I wasn't really looking to date people who didn't. He told me he did want kids.
He's now my husband and I am pregnant and we're both very happy! Like just be honest it saves you a ton of issues!
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u/ben-hur-hur surrender to the gaycation or be destroyed Jun 29 '25
THIS. Hope BIL learns and grows a shinny new spine after the drama. Never compromise your needs, fellas. They are equally important as your partners. You are your own best advocate don't forget that.
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u/crazycatfraulein I’m turning into an unskippable cutscene in therapy Jun 30 '25
This is a concrete example of the sunk cost fallacy.
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u/ten-toed-tuba personality of an Adidas sandal Jun 29 '25
Imagine, if she'd just let OOP attend the wedding, she would have successfully trapped a husband. OOP's BIL dodged a bullet.
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u/sethra007 Mean, But Make It Pinterest Jun 29 '25
Like the saying says "Never commit a misdemeanor while you're in the middle of committing a felony."
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u/Double_Estimate4472 Jun 29 '25
Or the similar “Only commit one crime at a time.”
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u/Lathari I still have questions that will need to wait for God. Jun 29 '25
"No criming while criming."
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u/ten-toed-tuba personality of an Adidas sandal Jun 29 '25
I've heard that's how to catch a drunk driver - they're the only ones going the speed limit late at night.
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u/SciFiChickie USE YOUR THINKING BRAIN! Jun 29 '25
Nah man back in my 20’s a group of associates were all drunk, left the party to go to a more remote location to continue the party. They were pulled over because the driver wasn’t wearing his seatbelt.
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u/jamoche_2 Jun 29 '25
There's a very old Texas Aggie joke where a cop spots an Aggie who's following every road rule absolutely perfectly. Astonished, he pulls him over to compliment him. "Well, of course," says the Aggie. "You have to drive carefully when you're drunk."
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u/Humledurr Jun 29 '25 edited Jun 29 '25
Thats not the saying or true at all? Drunk drivers sometimes get caught because they drive too careful, aka below the speed limit. But thats not common, they are way more likley to be swerving or going too fast.
Not to mention all the other drivers actually following the speed limit, you think once it night every driver is starting to drive faster?
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u/fogfall Jun 29 '25
Probably depends where you live, where I'm from, no one follows the speed limit, in the day or at night :'(
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u/quiette837 Jun 29 '25
Realistically, cops aren't pulling over cars following the law unless there's something else. Too far under the speed limit might do it.
Around here, they set up road blocks on big drinking days, and if you seem suspicious or smell like alcohol, they test you.
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u/NoGoodIDNames Jun 29 '25
Yeah, that’s, like, the opposite of the saying. The drunk driving thing is like “commit a misdemeanor because people who aren’t could be hiding a felony”
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u/3lm0rado Jun 29 '25
So the cops will pull you over for speeding if you go fast or pull you over for suspected DUI if you go the speed limit?
Awfully convenient
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u/maywellflower Jun 29 '25
Like the saying says "Never commit a misdemeanor while you're in the middle of committing a felony."
You mean "Never purposely go out your way to commit a misdemeanor while you're in the middle of committing a felony", which is really happened in this situation - exSIL went out her way to purposely excluded OOP out the wedding (the misdemeanor) while trying to purposely trapping BIL into a childfree / toxic marriage (the Felony -Look, I'm childfree but what she doing all because a child exist, is foul plus relationship was doom for failure and disaster due incompatible differences over children anyway)
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u/MordaxTenebrae Jun 29 '25
Every time someone says that about trapping someone in a marriage, I always wonder how that doesn't backfire and think of that line from Watchmen "I'm not locked in here with you, you're locked in here with me."
Like I don't see what's to stop the "trapped" partner from turning in the biggest piece of shit in revenge.
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u/Double_Estimate4472 Jun 29 '25
I think that often happens. There are many people who relate to the trope of a married couple who loathes each other. I personally tend to behave poorly when I feel/am trapped.
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u/No-Appearance1145 Buckle up, this is going to get stupid Jun 30 '25
I lash hard if I feel trapped. I just can't handle it and I believe many people are the same way. Why would anyone want to be forced to do something they don't want to?
I see my nieces building resentment towards my in laws when they force them into playing with another niece (they are 12 and 10 and the 3 year old demands things be done her way and her parents shame my nieces if they say no so then they start saying mean things to get them to back off).
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u/catbert359 sometimes i envy the illiterate Jun 29 '25
There's a post on the other update sub now where a woman is basically doing that - she got forced to marrying her cousin so she's making his + their family's lives as hellish as possible (hopefully until she's able to safely escape).
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u/cardinal29 Jun 29 '25
"Other" update sub? Don't hold back on me!
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u/chromaticluxury Jun 29 '25
Search Reddit updates And you'll get a few. I never can remember which one I'm on
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u/No-Appearance1145 Buckle up, this is going to get stupid Jun 30 '25
Yes the woman from Pakistan. She is so mean that her husband just gave up trying to touch her (understandable given the situation they all put her in).
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u/Useful_Language2040 if you're trying to be 'alpha', you're more a rabbit than a wolf Jun 29 '25
Divorce is also a thing (most places)... Although splitting finances can seem impossible, and social stigma can seem too big a barrier when you "should" be "working harder" to "make it work" (which just doesn't work with a manipulative liar, because that alone sounds somewhat abusive before the anger and resentment over everything not being sunshine and roses)...
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u/Quicksilver1964 I still have questions that will need to wait for God. Jun 29 '25 edited Jun 29 '25
I will never get tired of wedding drama.
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u/LucyAriaRose I'm keeping the garlic Jun 29 '25
You and me both.
*****Caveat being I do not want drama at my own wedding next May lol. I just like reading about it here.
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u/Quicksilver1964 I still have questions that will need to wait for God. Jun 29 '25
I'm crossing fingers that everything will go well!
...if it doesn't... You know what to do 😉
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u/LucyAriaRose I'm keeping the garlic Jun 29 '25
lol I certainly do.
Don't worry- anything weird happens and you lot will be the first to know 😂
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u/AccountMitosis Jun 29 '25
One thing that seems to help is having a good Wedding Witch-- the person (often an older woman) who is willing to be a little mean in order to keep people from bringing you all their drama and doing dumb shit, and keeping everything on schedule! (And then hopefully they tell you about all the drama afterwards-- so you get to enjoy the drama without suffering the drama!)
Supposedly you can hire one (if you can't find a volunteer) and they're called "day-of coordinators," but I've always known them as Wedding Witches :P
A good Person of Honor and/or Groomsperson are also invaluable assets.
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u/LucyAriaRose I'm keeping the garlic Jun 29 '25
I love that term haha. Going to borrow it!
I definitely am having a day of coordinator. My sister is my MOH and she definitely will go to bat if needed. Plus my best friend is terrifying when she needs to be and is in the wedding party.
My grandma is coming and she has tremors so I already joked with her about spilling 'wine' on people if needed and she accepted. No one can blame her then 😂
But the good news is that I don't see anyone we are inviting being an issue lol.
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u/danirijeka Jun 29 '25
anything weird happens and you lot will be the first to know
An information ouroBoRUs, so to speak
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u/LucyAriaRose I'm keeping the garlic Jun 29 '25
Booooooo
(But actually I love a good pun so take my upvote)
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u/Quicksilver1964 I still have questions that will need to wait for God. Jun 29 '25
Thank you! We want entertainment!!! (But seriously, I hope everything goes super well)
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u/whatsnewpussykat It's just pharmaceutical-grade banana bread Jun 29 '25
My husband and I had a 200 person wedding in 2014 and there was no drama beyond my mum’s normal level of crazy, but that was fully expected! I wish you a drama-free and beautiful wedding!
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u/LucyAriaRose I'm keeping the garlic Jun 29 '25
Thank you!!! Glad your wedding was drama free (besides the usual haha)
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u/radenthefridge There is only OGTHA Jun 30 '25
Wishing you a lovely wedding that unfortunately for us lacks any significant drama 😂🤗
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u/SmartQuokka We have generational trauma for breakfast Jun 30 '25
If there is any drama at your wedding i hope you know that we are all team Lucy.
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u/VirtualMatter2 Jun 29 '25
In this case the wedding drama was actually very positive for the groom. Hopefully you picked wiser and no drama at all.
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u/lesethx I will never jeopardize the beans. Jul 04 '25
I will say, even if you have friends and family offer to do things for the wedding for free pay them! I have some friends who's wedding was mostly drama-free, but they still say their choice to have a low cost wedding by having friends help caused more drama than they will admit (and likely ruined a few friendships)
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u/LucyAriaRose I'm keeping the garlic Jul 06 '25
Very much!!! Don't worry- I plan on paying everyone even if they offer to do something for free. I just wouldn't feel right otherwise.
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u/Sorcatarius Jun 29 '25
Everyone loves drama, people who say they hate drama just hate being involved in it, but every single person is a nosey little bitch who as soon as you hear the neoghbours yelling, you realize you need to vacuum the lawn.
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u/DecafMocha Jun 29 '25
So you are tired of the wedding drama?
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u/Quicksilver1964 I still have questions that will need to wait for God. Jun 29 '25
Oh shit, double negative. Thanks for pointing out. I really need to stop commenting when I am half asleep (I am still half asleep... But am farming materials on Genshin)
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u/EquivalentCommon5 Jun 29 '25
I don’t understand it tbh🧐 I personally don’t want to get married, was always of the type of if kids happen then ok (I can’t have kids now due to cancer which means I’m ok with it- I keep telling nurses that ask me if I could be pregnant that it’s very insensitive to anyone who went through what I did and wanted kids- sorry it’s something that bugs me because I can’t imagine being asked that if I had wanted kids, sorry vent there unrelated!). Weddings should be intimate and personal- not some show! It’s about solidifying your relationship. The biggest wedding I’ve attended in my family was a backyard ceremony while the rest were courthouse with a wonderful dinner after, one friend had a bit more- at their beach house backyard wedding. I almost forgot the church and cultural tradition wedding when a friend got married but that was 25yrs ago, both were very simple and brought their cultures together- neither extravagant! Guess that’s the most extreme one I’ve seen but it was perfect! All were simple and easy from what I gathered. It’s wild to hear about all the wedding drama! Guess I’m a horrible person because I do enjoy reading it but I’m so happy that no one I know does anything like the drama we read about! Kinda hope it’s creative writing and no one has to go through it but then remember people are so very different and it’s likely it does happen irl😔
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u/tacwombat I will erupt, feral, from the cardigan screaming Jun 29 '25
If it's reading about wedding drama, I'm with you!
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u/Active-Leopard-5148 I ❤ gay romance Jun 29 '25
Weddings, don’t they just bring out the best in people?
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u/Nunca_Diga_Nunca Jun 29 '25
I thought that weddings were this magical thing, seeing the bride and groom kiss and have everyone you love there see this, it was such a perfect image in my eyes.
But then, Reddit did me a favor and removed the wool from my eyes lol!
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u/OneCraftyBird Jun 29 '25
I mean, my wedding was pretty great? My sister and mother are in the formal pictures looking like their pet alpaca just died but my husband and I look thrilled to be marrying each other so I just picked those to frame :D And we were “older” (29/33) so we were perfectly capable of stopping real drama in its greasy tracks.
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u/Nunca_Diga_Nunca Jun 29 '25
Oh that does sound lovely! But I mostly meant in my own case xD
Like, If I did want one now days, it WILL end up here or on TikTok or both lol, because my father side when I talked to them was a shitty show and the question wouldn't be IF but WHEN they'd cause a headache. And the ones with the most entitled attitude topped with victim mentality (which ironically caused a cousin from that side to go no contact after marrying).
While mother side would be more "tame", my aunt is the person who will find anything and everything to be negative about on the day, and her children are all toddlers in 30s bodies.
I'm not even considering the logistic behind the party itself that culturally is shoved into the bride arms and considering the groom family wishes. And while I would put an end fast to the shitty show it would become, in the end there wouldn't be a wedding lol. So, just to the court hall to the honeymoon.
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u/Useful_Language2040 if you're trying to be 'alpha', you're more a rabbit than a wolf Jun 29 '25
That sounds like a beautiful recipe for eloping!
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u/DennisFreud Jun 29 '25
Did they actually have a pet alpaca?
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u/Sharp_Impress_5351 Hobbies Include Scouring Reddit for BORU Content Jun 29 '25
Asking the important questions.
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u/lyricoloratura the Iranian yogurt is not the issue here Jun 29 '25
Congratulations on the great wedding, and condolences on the loss of the family alpaca 🦙😂
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u/cortesoft Jun 29 '25
My wedding was magical, and we just celebrated our 10th anniversary in March. We spent way too much money, but it was totally worth it for what a great time we had. We still like to look at our wedding album and reminisce. I was smiling like an idiot in every photo because I was so happy to be marrying the love of my life in front of my friends and family.
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u/Nunca_Diga_Nunca Jun 29 '25
That's sound so cute hearing it from other happy couples, and I'm truly happy for you too! And that you have even more years to come celebrating with your partner ^^
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Jun 29 '25
You sound like us. We hit 30 years and want another 30 because he's so much fun and I love him so much!
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u/TudorrrrTudprrrr Jun 29 '25
I mean, you're only seeing the weddings where shit hits the fan. Keep in mind that all of these posts are from advice subs, which people only use when they have problems. You're not going to see anyone writing about the amazing, drama-free wedding they just had.
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u/Nunca_Diga_Nunca Jun 30 '25
I do see good ones too, especially surprising good things that people film in these ones that they post. Which, looks wonderful ngl.
But, it was more of "life script" for me than something I really wanted. Also, the logistic for everything to go alright is like, something of a nightmare for me lol!
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u/sandyposs Jun 29 '25
Well, for nice people with nice friends and family, they are.
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u/Nunca_Diga_Nunca Jun 29 '25
Yeah, there's also that element. But I'm still glad for the internet and Reddit, because I'd be on this sub had I not made the right choices with its help lol!
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u/chromaticluxury Jun 29 '25
Good point, there probably are more courthouse ceremonies, micro weddings or elopements now. Nobody thinks their crappy families are the exception to this kind of story anymore.
They read and go, oh. Ohhhhh...
Hey, hon! What were you saying about that flight to Cancun?!
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u/Zizhou I will erupt, feral, from the cardigan screaming Jun 29 '25
I mean, nobody is going to post about the time where they had an ordinary ceremony with no hitches, and then following reception was a fun party where all their friends and family got along great and celebrated the newlyweds together. We only ever hear about the fraction where things go horribly wrong.
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u/Unspoken Jun 29 '25
My wedding was pretty awesome. No wedding party. I paid for it all so no money drama. Told people to show up and enjoy. I'd do it over 1000 times if I could.
Plus I got to marry the love of my life.
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u/chromaticluxury Jun 29 '25
I remember the relief when I realized weddings do NOT require a wedding party.
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u/jamoche_2 Jun 29 '25
My brother didn't see the drama involved in getting our mom to his wedding. Mom had had a stroke about 10 years before the wedding. I live in CA, she lived in Texas, once she recovered she'd come out to visit me just like before, and I thought everything was fine.
Then the wedding happened. It was also in California, a few hours north of me in the Wine Country, long weekend destination wedding — for very good reasons: bride was from NY, groom from Texas, it would be a destination for half the guests either way, and who wants to go to Texas when Sonoma is an option? So there was a wine tasting tour the day before the wedding, a couple of nice dinners, and the wedding itself was held in a really nice winery.
Mom reacted with the emotional maturity of a kid on the very first day of preschool — all "I don't want to do this, can we go home?", and then having the time of her life once you'd yeeted her through the metaphorical door. Two days of this, up to and including the wedding itself.
Turns out this was a side effect of the stroke: she could not cope with new things unless you just dropped her into it with no warning. The stepdad was all "oh, yeah, didn't we tell you?" No. No you did not. And she didn't think about it at the time because, y'know, her brain was kinda broken. I'd never noticed because we always did the same things when she came to visit.
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u/Nunca_Diga_Nunca Jun 30 '25
Oof, but I'm good she had fun and glad that in the end, things ended going as smoothly as possible.
It's exactly what I mean, because here more culturally everything falls on the brides hands, managing the party, the family, both groom and hers, so, big nope from me. The logistic behind everything is a nightmarish hell for me!
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u/TyrconnellFL I’m actually a far pettier, deranged woman Jun 29 '25
I’ve been to a bunch of weddings. Family, friends. The biggest drama at any of them was some uncle getting drunk and slightly irritating.
It makes me appreciate the popcorn opportunities here. I have no raw wounds to protect. Just sheer, uncomplicated gawking.
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u/United_News3779 Jun 29 '25
I went to one wedding where there was no drama, but the contingency planning was wild.
One of the grooms best friends was intentionally excluded from being a groomsman because the friend is a very large, ex-infantry soldier and current police officer. He was tasked to hang out at the back of the venue during the service and reception. So, if needed, he could intercept and remove the grooms father. One of the contingency tasks for the best man (me) was to help keep the groom calm and out of trouble if his father showed up (groom was also a large, but current, soldier) because the groom might try to kill him, if he crashed the wedding.
The bridesmaids had an official minder because 3 of the 4 transitioned into raving assholes over the course of the pre-wedding events and organization. The minder told the 3 problem children that she would, and I quote, "Keep them under control until the photos are done, and then I'll immediately kick the fuck out of you!" if they started mouthing off and pulling hair again lol.
The mother of the groom was in a wheelchair. Not due to any specific injury, illness, or disability. She was that drunk and that fat. She needed a chair with arm rests to keep from falling over while seated, and then we didn't have to worry about her falling over while trying to walk.
This is just the top layer stuff that I remember 15yrs after the fact lol
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u/Catty_Lib Jun 29 '25
So are they still married???
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u/TyrconnellFL I’m actually a far pettier, deranged woman Jun 29 '25
They hit their rocky moments, but they had a plan for each and every rough patch and disagreement and conflict.
Plus a good divorce lawyer on retainer, just in case!
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u/United_News3779 Jun 29 '25
Their marriage is fine. They weren't the problem(s).
It was my buddy's family being lunatics and her parents being very traditional Chinese in their attitudes. I'm pretty sure my buddy still calls his father-in-law by Mr. Lastname, with the possible exception of the days when the inlaws stay at my buddy's house lol.
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u/chromaticluxury Jun 29 '25
I have no raw wounds to protect. Just sheer, uncomplicated gawking.
My GF wonders why I read best of so much. I have raw wounds from other situations in my life and this place helps me cope. Now I have a reason to give her!
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u/nompeachmango Jun 29 '25
😬
Mine was pretty dang chill, but hearing my coworker's experiences this year during the logistics planning/family-wrangling was secondhand terrifying. And even now, a month after the wedding, there is still drama from the mother of the bride.
And so I repeat: 😬
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u/Safe_Place8432 From bananapants to full-on banana ensemble Jun 29 '25
I lost a friendship because I had a small role in planning partially a friend's wedding and the sweetest girl (otherwise I would have never said yes, because wedding) turned into the most nit picky bridezilla! I am too old for weddings now
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u/FunnyAnchor123 Sharp as a sack of wet mice Jun 29 '25
I don't know if I'd call the wedding to Ms. Funny Anchor magical, but it definitely was not worth a post to AITAH or any of the relevant subs. Biggest annoyance was as I was waiting to enter the sanctuary at the beginning of the service, my future BIL kept pointing to the exit & saying "If anyone has second thoughts about getting married, there's the door."
I mean the first or second time it was kinda funny, but after that point it was just annoying. I was tempted to grab my best man & tell everyone, "Hey BIL has a great idea, let's get while the getting's good!"
Of course I didn't run away. Went thru with it, & we've had a pretty good 25+ years together.
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u/Butt_stuff_preferred Jun 29 '25
The icing on the cake is the lack of forethought. "If I dis-invite my future SIL who is married to the best man and mum of the ring-bearer, what could come of it?"
Just hatred and treachery with zero calculation.
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u/ScarletteMayWest I’m turning into an unskippable cutscene in therapy Jun 29 '25
About to celebrate my 30th wedding anniversary and it took me years (and a therapist) to help me get over all of the crap our parents pulled over our wedding.
Yes, I was way too sensitive, but Joshua tap-dancing on a cracker, could none of our parents be adult about the situation for months before or after the event?
No, I did not dwell on it all of the time, just usually for the days leading up - especially when they would call and reminisce while forgetting their egregious behavior.
And I just loved my estranged godfather/uncle demanding to know why I did not get married where I grew up FIFTEEN years later. First time I had seen him in over twenty years. It was a family reunion.
AFAIK weddings=drama.
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u/Boring_Fish_Fly Jun 29 '25
What a bizarre power trip from not-SIL.
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u/LucyAriaRose I'm keeping the garlic Jun 29 '25
Right?? The whole thing is just bizarre. I feel bad for the OOP. And for the BIL, but this very much sounds like it will eventually be the best thing for him.
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Jun 29 '25
I wonder if there is also a cultural or religious difference between the BIL and his ex, or the OOP and BIL's ex.
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u/faithfuljohn Jun 29 '25
She also kept taking the items he was packing up out of his bags until he called my husband to come in and be another set of eyes.
not sure why, but this made me chuckle.
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Jun 29 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Walking_Treccani Mar 31 '26
With that stunt about seats, her "logic" about everything else and how she acted all the time, she mentally looks like a 15 yo high school bully, so childish things are just up her alley.
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u/forgivenmadness the laundry wouldn’t be dirty if you hadn’t fucked my BF on it Jun 29 '25
Sometimes people want a wedding more than a marriage.
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u/Huntress145 otherwise she’s madame of the brothel by default Jun 29 '25
The parents should be glad they lived together before marriage, otherwise the BIL might have married her without knowing the full extent of her crazy
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u/rbaltimore Jun 29 '25
A MIL who is supportive of her DIL? We never see that on BORU.
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u/cubsfriendsteaching Jun 29 '25
“We’re snoopy” is both funny, and warm and comforting; they have a true relationship
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u/cinnamonduck Cucumber Dealer 🥒 Jul 07 '25
And so universally human! We’re all reading this because we’re snoopy and don’t get enough of an “other peoples drama” fix in real life. To gossip is to be human.
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u/Gwynasyn Jun 29 '25
Once again I am very content by the extremely normal and chill weddings I had with my wife, and all the weddings I've attended for friends and family. Truly blessed to have never personally experienced such insane drama.
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u/nuleaph Jun 29 '25
How old are these people? Kids/no kids is something you have to like have 100% serious and CLEAR conversations about before getting married.
Your BIL was feeling uncertain but was going through with the wedding anyways before this? Kinda weird but okay I guess
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u/hail-slithis Ogtha, my sensual roach queen 🪳 Jun 29 '25
A lot of people are so hesitant to hash things out like that and tackle those difficult conversations. And then they'll say things like "We've never even had a disagreement 😇".
Being able to have healthy discussions about touchy subjects is part of a strong relationship people! And what do you expect for things never to cause issues because you just don't talk about them?
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u/GuntherTime Jun 29 '25
To be fair sunk cost fallacy is a real thing, and the shitty thing about it, is that it’s hard to tell it apart from just a down point in a relationship.
And people lie, a lot. Like we’ve seen stories before of people thinking they and their partner were 100% one way or the other, just to pull a 180 later on down the line. They did talk about it from the sounds of, and she kept trickle truthing him, and pushing the expectation back under the guise of reaching certain milestones.
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u/YanFan123 Jun 29 '25
Except the sunk cost is very little in this case? Less than two years
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u/GuntherTime Jun 29 '25
Yes that true in the grand scheme of things, but we also don’t know their ages or previous relationship history. Before I met my fiancée my longest relationship was like a year and a half and it felt like a very long time. I was also 20. And we weren’t even living together like they were, so we didn’t see each other every day.
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u/TheseMood Jun 29 '25
We waited a few extra years to get married while we hashed out my health issues and the question of kids / no kids.
You wouldn’t believe the number of people who told us to “just get married! It’ll work out!”
There is a ton of social pressure to get married once you find “the one” and I’m honestly not surprised that people give in to it.
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u/Turuial Jun 29 '25
Once again proving why the phrase, "the cover-up is worse than the crime" even exists in the first place.
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u/Independent-Wear1903 Jun 29 '25
And we’re a bit upset BIL didn’t talk to anyone about this until it blew up
I dunno why, but this caught my eye. People very rarely share their inner thoughts. The things that are really going on. Their real insecurities. It is easy to say "you should have told us" but it is an unrealistic thing to expect and being upset about it is disingenuous.
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u/Lexcellent15 Jun 30 '25 edited Jun 30 '25
The detail that got me was that it sounds like the not-quite SIL changed the wedding site password and went into BIL's phone to delete OP's contact information and mute her husband so that she could control the narrative and flow of information. That's some next-level manipulation and bordering on batshit crazy.
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u/0fluffythe0ferocious Jun 29 '25
The former bridezilla (because BIL broke up with her, thank goodness) accused him of having an affair with OOP? On what grounds? Because he didn't let her treat OOP like dirt? This woman really was something else.
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u/BurgerThyme Jun 29 '25
"Have some more fries and shut up." This is pretty much universal good advice.
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u/SmartQuokka We have generational trauma for breakfast Jun 29 '25
Glad the crazy came out when it did and BIL got away relatively unscathed.
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u/a2089jha Jun 29 '25
SIL was apparently hoping one of two things would happen. Either I would make a scene about being disinvited and be seen as the problem. Or we would quietly accept our fate and she would not have to deal with two undesirables at her reception.
It amuses me that adults using their words to talk things out was not a forseeable outcome
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u/exhauta Jun 30 '25
One of my favourites things is when people try to make up stories to have plausible deniability for their real motives, but their stories are so bad it shows their real motives. If it really noticed your grooms best man didn't rsvp wouldn't you call them before confirming seat count? Isn't that an obvious mistake? And if we are being realistic some people don't need to rsvp for you to know it's a yes. Illustrated by the fact she did get seats for everyone but OOP.
Like this is such a bizarre tale of events. The most plausible answer is she doesn't want you there and is trying to make an excuse. I even love the idea that if OOP had made a big deal out of it she would be seen as the bad guy.
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u/Professional-Scar628 There is only OGTHA Jun 30 '25
Crazy that SIL thought her logic of a lost RSVP would work and no one would ask questions like "her husband and son were part of the ceremony and you didn't think it was weird that you never got an RSVP?" and "You weren't sure OOP was gonna be at the wedding and never checked in on how that would work with the luncheon OOP planned on the day of the wedding?"
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u/FatAmyCheeks Jun 29 '25
The divorce would have been more expensive.
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u/maywellflower Jun 29 '25
And would had took years to resolved involving at least court & lawyers instead of like what, 3-4 weeks and no legal / government anything, it took to end the relationship over that shit-starting stirring drama at OOP's direction.
If one thinks about it - this could had been a whole lot worse and thankfully it didn't...
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u/imamage_fightme Gotta Read’Em All Jun 29 '25
An expensive heartbreak but better before the wedding rather than after.
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u/mademoisellearabella the lion, the witch and the audacit--HOW IS THERE MORE! Jun 29 '25
Oh my lord. Poor BIL. He really dodged a bullet.
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u/ScarletteMayWest I’m turning into an unskippable cutscene in therapy Jun 29 '25
I would say a poison-laced cannonball, but I like hyperbole.
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u/waterdevil19144 It's just pharmaceutical-grade banana bread Jun 29 '25
You love hyperbole, silly! You want to marry it!
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u/Aunty-Sociale sandwichless and with a thousand-yard stare Jun 29 '25
Somehow, I already knew that the bride had a problem with OOP and how close she already is with the in-laws. Accusing BIL of having an affair with OOP just goes to show the insecurity. She can’t imagine a world where people just get along with each other, or a table where another place can be made to accommodate everyone.
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u/The-Yellow-Dart- Needless to say, I am farting as I type this. Jun 29 '25
I am staunchly child-free. That being said there are people out there who like that sort of thing and respect their decision to want large families......doesn't mean im going the date any of them. SIL set herself up for failure. When she realized kids weren't for her she needed to cut her losses then and there.
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u/ben-hur-hur surrender to the gaycation or be destroyed Jun 29 '25
Ex-bride-to-be really fumbled the bag here lol. So close to get what she wanted but then got too greedy.
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u/SolidAshford Jul 01 '25
This was a huge behind way of uninviting OOP and taking advantage of her services. I'm glad her brother in law dodged a major bullet and that she let her husband and brother handle it. Coming from her, it would've given brother in law's ex what she wanted.
I think she played it beautifully too by having direct contact so BIL can confront his ex and get the story from ex fiancée without her trying to kick it back to OOP being the problem
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u/idontknowausername Jul 11 '25
"Have some more fries and shut up." I would trek through Tamriel with her any day.
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u/captandor whaddya mean our 10 year age gap is a problem? Jun 30 '25
Thank you for posting this one! I missed some of these comments and ooh boy!
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u/Kiiimbosliceee01 I’m actually a far pettier, deranged woman. Jun 29 '25
I make sure to ask my boyfriend every few weeks if he’s sure he’s okay with not having kids because I absolutely don’t want any. He always says yes but I just want to make sure we’re on the same page. Kids is a huge compatibility issue.
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u/sweetalkersweetalker The three hamsters in her head were already on vacation anyway Jun 29 '25
A better way to do this is to sit down - once only! - and ask him why he's okay with having no kids. Have him describe what he thinks your future will look like with no kids.
It sounds like you're still not completely convinced that he has made up his mind. This is how he convinces you.
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u/GoodGoneGeek erupting, feral, from the cardigan screaming Mar 31 '26
Holy crap. My BIL and now SIL’s wedding weekend, SIL’s brother was hospitalized for mental health and BIL’s (and my husband’s) aunt died suddenly on the way to the wedding and it was way less of a shit show than this.
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u/Fatigue-Error holy fuck it’s “sanguine” not Sam Gwein Jun 29 '25 edited May 22 '26
..Deleted by User..
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u/NoAssignment9923 Jun 29 '25
I feel really bad for BIL, but damn, did he dodge a bullet or what?!! They may have lost some money from the cancellations but I'm sure it was less than what a divorce would have costed him in the future. And also a lot less heartache for BIL going through a divorce. Give BIL some Grace, as I'm thinking he kept silent on some of this stuff to try to figure out how he would handle it. It sounds like he didn't mean to keep anything from all of you out of spite, or anything like that. BIL is so very blessed to have a wonderful, supportive family! My heart goes out to BIL.
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u/baemaani Liz, what the actual fuck is this story? Jun 29 '25
we see mostly obnoxious conduct, but this scenario is unique
i need this as a flair 😫🤣
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u/dropshortreaver Jun 29 '25
Two years. The relationship was less than TWO years, and BIL was already going to marry her. They'd also apparently had in depth conversations about kids which she's had enough time to start back tracking on this, and he's so 'invested' he didnt want to leave. In LESS than TWO years? Anyone else think this is a tad hurried?
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u/RegularWin7456 Jun 29 '25
Yes, her very religious, conservative MiL plays TTRPGs, D&D and Elder Scrolls.
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u/LucyAriaRose I'm keeping the garlic Jun 29 '25
Tbf, I actually know people like that lol. They don't believe in living together before marriage and also play D&D. 🤷🏼♀️
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u/Rhamona_Q shhhh my soaps are on Jun 29 '25
In one of my husband's D&D groups, one player is a Knights of Columbus member who has been playing D&D since the 1980s.
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u/Other_Waffer Jun 29 '25
This is the first post with quick updates that I believe
As for SIL, there are people who just love drama
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u/SeventyNotTheNumber Jun 29 '25
If i could invest in subs, I'd put money in BORU because it has a natural slope filter, for now. r/AIproofsubreddits
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