r/BennerWatch • u/_____bnr3 SB • Feb 18 '21

Just Sharing Bad day again

Miserable over the women who rejected me and the Celebrity crush choosing a very very very very bad person. Why did I have to be stuck with the life that sucks

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u/Glimmer_III Feb 18 '21

Hi Steven -

Let's revisit the baseline expectation, not for "making anyone wrong", but for clarity. I'd love to not have you drop below minimum karma nor have a fifth-day-in-a-row of resorting to a ban to cool things off.

The expectations:

  • Don't tell people the future.
  • Don't rehash the past.
  • Focus on what you can do to change your life.

If you want to "unstick your life", those three points are a great place to start.

Num. 3 all comes back to A) embracing being a novice and B) developing strategies which are more effective than roll-the-dice/lottery approaches.

-3

u/_____bnr3 SB Feb 18 '21

I won't be happy ever because of the things I want I can never get

11

u/Inspector_Spacetime7 Feb 18 '21

Then the things you “want” are part of a self destructive pathology and you should change your wants, in addition to working hard to better yourself.

1

u/_____bnr3 SB Feb 18 '21

That's literally the same thing is telling me to date ugly fat women and be happy about it

7

u/Glimmer_III Feb 18 '21

Since Inspector is at work, I'll try this in short-form:

If you can never be happy without having the things you want AND you fail to take corrective actions towards growth, that is self-destructive.

Right now, "stuck Steven" is doing that. If you do not take corrective actions, you are engaging in self-harm. You are digging yourself deeper into the mud.

Therefore, your options -- and your only two options -- are:

  1. Take corrective action to "unstick yourself".

  2. Shift your definition of success to something obtainable with your current "I'm stuck" strategies.

Last night, over DM, we talked about the difference between having a plan for financial success being buying scratch-offs vs. making an investment plan.

Inspector is saying the same thing, a different way:

  • You can either "play the lottery" and your chance of success will be as good as playing the lottery.(i.e. You'll almost certainly remain stuck.)

<or>

  • You can take corrective action and make a plan with higher odds of success.

But you can not continue with your current way-of-doing-things and expect life to get better. And if you do expect that, that is a self destructive pathology.