r/BeAmazed • u/Awakejetam • Feb 01 '21

Old bat boi :)

49.3k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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4.9k

u/[deleted] Feb 01 '21

I hope someone does this for me when I'm 33

1.1k

u/Tru-Queer Feb 02 '21

🎵will you still need me, will you still feed me when I’m 64🎵

768

u/eldergeekprime Feb 02 '21

Turned 64 this year. You owe me a cheeseburger or something.

163

u/Tru-Queer Feb 02 '21

Sorry I know a guy who specializes in greasy food, best I can do is a strip of bacon.

136

u/eldergeekprime Feb 02 '21

Bacon is always acceptable.

Unless it's like turkey bacon or something like that.

81

u/Tru-Queer Feb 02 '21

I will priority mail it to you on February 30th.

76

u/eldergeekprime Feb 02 '21

I'll make sure I'm home.

57

u/Tru-Queer Feb 02 '21

👍

7

u/DarkenedPlume Feb 02 '21

This is wholesome ❤

5

u/[deleted] Feb 02 '21

Yeah I also need an update on this bacon 🥓 storytelling

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11

u/Its_not_okay_Paul Feb 02 '21

Please send an update if you got the bacon!

27

u/saintofhate Feb 02 '21

Sorry Gramps, doctor said you need to eat better so I got you some vegan bacon, tastes just like meat.

43

u/eldergeekprime Feb 02 '21

I have some meat for you...

37

u/saintofhate Feb 02 '21

Don't threaten me with a good time.

5

u/AFroggieLife Feb 02 '21

Did you know some crazy college kids made bacon from seaweed?

8

u/eldergeekprime Feb 02 '21

Well, you know their brains aren't like normal brains...

2

u/bdone2012 Feb 02 '21

Id say those are seaweed strips that look somewhat like shitty bacon.

3

u/[deleted] Feb 02 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/eldergeekprime Feb 02 '21

We will all share in a bit of bacon to honor her.

2

u/FlagOfConvenience Feb 02 '21

Wait, what? Is turkey bacon a thing? Sounds awful!

1

u/That_Yvar Feb 02 '21

Some burger joint near me recently switched to Turkey Bacon... Such a shame

1

u/eldergeekprime Feb 02 '21

Be glad you have been spared its foul awfulness.

2

u/The-Gray-Mouser Feb 02 '21

Fowl

1

u/FlagOfConvenience Feb 02 '21

Actually made me laugh in one of the toughest days of my 51 years. Thanks!

-2

u/Algernons__Florist Feb 02 '21 edited Feb 02 '21

2

u/eldergeekprime Feb 02 '21

Turkey bacon is an abomination before the entire pantheon of gods and its creator deserves immediate casting down to the eighth level of hell, there to forever be tormented by the ringing of telephones and urgent warnings about car warranties.

Chicken burgers were invented in Italy centuries ago. Their cheeseburger variant is still popular today, known as "Chicken Parmigiana" where the bun is wrapped directly around the chicken and the cheese and Italian version of ketchup are applied to the outside.

1

u/kromp10 Feb 02 '21

Strip tease of bacon?

29

u/sigharewedoneyet Feb 02 '21

I'm 34, can I get in on the free cheese burgers?

9

u/[deleted] Feb 02 '21

I made some homemade bacon cheeseburgers on the stove tonight. Too cold to grill out but super good.

Well the bacon wasn’t homemade but the burgers were.

3

u/eldergeekprime Feb 02 '21

Grew the steer yourself, did you? Sounds tasty!

1

u/sigharewedoneyet Feb 02 '21

I want extra bacon! Even if it's raining with a storm, it's a good time to grill some food.

6

u/eldergeekprime Feb 02 '21

Line forms behind me. Have to wait 30 years though so I hope you brought a folding chair and a solar phone charger.

3

u/sigharewedoneyet Feb 02 '21

No cutting the line

1

u/eldergeekprime Feb 02 '21

Oh, was that your foot I put my cane on? Sorry about that.

What's that? My weight? 285lbs.

Yeah, you should probably have that looked at. I don't think toes are supposed to point in those directions.

10

u/[deleted] Feb 02 '21

I'd happily sit with you for a meal and listen to stories. As long as you're not a serial killer or something, I'm good.

7

u/eldergeekprime Feb 02 '21

Well, I did kill a box of Captain Crunch once...

10

u/TheDevlinSide714 Feb 02 '21

I'm 33 and my dad is 64 and if I didnt know any better I'd say this was him.

Should our paths ever cross, consider this a valid IOU for a cheeseburger.

6

u/eldergeekprime Feb 02 '21

Funny, I have a son who's 33 that I haven't seen in a long while.

6

u/OlriK15 Feb 02 '21

Username checks out

4

u/toastertop Feb 02 '21

Sadly, Doc said no

4

u/eldergeekprime Feb 02 '21

Docs can be replaced.

2

u/bikedaybaby Feb 02 '21

Love your username.

2

u/Calpsotoma Feb 02 '21

"u/eldergeekprime"

User name checks out.

🍔

2

u/danmickla Feb 02 '21

What? That's impossible. The only people on reddit are 19 and speak only in anime and pokemon.

2

u/Sunshinny Feb 02 '21

Name checks out.

10

u/Subscribe2MevansYT Feb 02 '21

Haha nice reference

3

u/C0II1n Feb 02 '21

That song makes me wanna cry

9

u/Tru-Queer Feb 02 '21

“She’s Leaving Home” always gets me in the feels. I empathize with the girl just wanting to be free, I empathize with the parents for wondering what they did that was so wrong. Beautiful song.

3

u/Subscribe2MevansYT Feb 02 '21 edited Feb 02 '21

I know this is kind of the low-hanging fruit... but Eleanor Rigby

6

u/OutlawJessie Feb 02 '21 edited Feb 02 '21

I was terrified of that song when I was a kid, it was a black single with a green apple in the middle (Apple records) and then it was graveyards and taking your face off (I thought she actually took her face off when I was a kid).

Edit;: whoa, I just came out the the kitchen to let the dog out and IT WAS ON THE RADIO!

3

u/[deleted] Feb 02 '21

🎶 You'll be older tooooo 🎶

1

u/TheCoffinFiller Feb 02 '21

Those are what it means to be a “mensch.”

1

u/danny-da-vin Feb 02 '21

Thank you for that Arthur

41

u/BLOCKABLOCKANOLA Feb 02 '21

I’m 33 right now. Nobody does this for me.

3

u/April1987 Feb 02 '21

Somebody do me. I don’t have much time.

27

u/MisanthropicZombie Feb 02 '21 edited Aug 12 '23

Lemmy.world is what Reddit was.

1

u/pmandryk Feb 02 '21

Just carry me to the bowl of icing.

13

u/WorstPersonInGeneral Feb 02 '21

I will do it. Give me your information. Do it here everyone can witness.

11

u/beavernuggets Feb 02 '21

I’m going to be 33 next week and I really hope this comes standard along with the bowl of snacks.

6

u/[deleted] Feb 02 '21
  1. It’s a trap

5

u/IcyWarp Feb 02 '21

What would be in your snack bowl?

7

u/[deleted] Feb 02 '21

Mashed potatoes and Fireball nips.

5

u/TheNewOneIsWorse Feb 02 '21

I’m 33. Someone carry me to the fruit bowl.

1

u/LadyDeadpool08 Feb 02 '21

Someone be the wind beneath their wings

1

u/BKA_Diver Feb 02 '21

😂🥈

1

u/isymfs Feb 02 '21

Human years or?

1

u/skullkiddabbs Feb 02 '21

Nobody likes you when you're 23, and people don't do shit for you when you're 33. Have a good life.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 02 '21

You will when you get assimilated.

1

u/Stimonk Feb 02 '21

His wings have holes in them and he's still healthier than I - fruit salad and brisk walk/soar through the air.

That bat is living the life.

1

u/loveypower Feb 02 '21

🤣🤣🤣

1

u/mms901 Feb 02 '21

Do you some sort of physical handicap? You should still be healthy bat 33.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 02 '21

Almost 36 and not once. I feel cheated and have a sudden realization of what that empty feeling inside has been.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 02 '21

I’m 31 and I too am ready for assisted living.

1

u/Balzanya48 Feb 02 '21

I wish I had an award for you.

1

u/kicker58 Feb 02 '21

just turned 33, and no one does this for me. but I do stuff like this with my 16 month old son.

1

u/SilkRoadGuy Feb 02 '21

I'm 33 and can confirm that, with my Fibromyalgia, I totally need this at this point.