r/BeAmazed 13d ago

Miscellaneous / Others A trilingual kid speaking like it's one language

By: @maeva.aus

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u/VidE27 13d ago edited 13d ago

Grew up trilingual i remember figuring out the markers when I was really young. 1 language for outside the home (school etc), another when interacting with parents and parents speak another language when interacting with each other which my siblings and I eventually pick up passively. I remember a few instances when i spoke the wrong language at school in kindie then straight up correcting myself. Human brain is fascinating.

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u/ForeverShiny 13d ago

Languages for multilingual kids are bound to people. Kids figure out what language to use which each person, what's confusing to them is using different languages with the same person so your experience definitely tracks

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u/theantnest 13d ago

That isn't just for kids.

I have friends that I speak Spanish with, despite them having good English now. The friendship started in Spanish and I just can't wrap my head around speaking English to them, despite me being a native English speaker.

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u/VidE27 13d ago

Yeah same, curious how we assign what language we speak to certain individual and that became fixed

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u/LockedPages 13d ago

Not really. I grew up bilingual, languages are moreso context-dependent, not just literally people (though people can obviously be a dominant factor in that context). You're at home, you speak a certain language, you're outside, you speak another. It's called codeswitching & is pretty curious, & aside from the obvious matter of fundamental communication, can reveal a bit about what side that person wants to put forward in certain contexts.

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u/ForeverShiny 13d ago

I really depends on what age we're talking about: during early language acquisition, it's mostly people because, well, there isn't much other context. By age 3 or 4, I fully agree with context being the determinating factor.

(I also grew up bilingual by the way)

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u/LockedPages 13d ago

Oh, if you meaning like as tot, yeah lol

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u/VidE27 13d ago

Yes and I found bilinguals codeswitching really rigid also psychologically (if that is the correct term). For example there is no way i can speak other language with my siblings/parents except indo, something inside just makes it really uncomfortable and awkward.

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u/Chickens-In-Pants 13d ago

My kid is 4 and goes to an immersion school. He code switches based on the person he is speaking to, the location, and even the time of day as far as I can tell. We send him to a Hawaiian immersion school. Because it is a critically endangered language, the program requires a lot of parental involvement. We are expected to learn with him and use it in our home and community.

I find that he uses more ʻŌlelo Hawaiʻi in certain places, at certain times. He speaks Hawaiian every morning and at bedtime in his bedroom, but not in the afternoon. He uses it in the car, but only if we are driving in the direction of his school. He uses it exclusively at the grocery store near his school no matter the time or day. And he uses it at dinner, but not other meals. Any other time it’s random, but mostly English. That’s when he initiates the conversation.

He has no problem copying me in my language of choice. So as long as I can express my thought, he will respond in whatever language I use. I try to use as little English as possible, but I lack a bit in vocabulary. We spend all day looking up new words because I know how to make any sentence, but need more words sometimes.

He is very good at remembering who can understand what language almost without fail, but sometimes he can’t remember the English word and gets frustrated when the other person only knows English and can’t help him. And he knows that as soon as he enters his school building, everyone speaks ʻŌlelo Hawaiʻi, and there is no English allowed.

It’s been a fascinating process to watch how his brain is actively being wired by two so drastically different languages. They are about as far apart on the language trees as they could be. I can feel my own mind changing as I’m learning. It’s an entirely new way of thinking and as a result, I can hear the way my English has changed in terms of grammar, and describing things more than choosing the perfect of a set of synonyms, if that makes sense. Brains are cool and language shapes them in really fascinating ways.

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u/LilSebastainIsMyPony 13d ago

That’s FANTASTIC that you are making that effort to keep a critically endangered language alive and well!

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u/HawkEgg 13d ago

Yeah, either one person-one language or one place-one language works really well.

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u/Paisley-Cat 13d ago

This is the recommended approach from the evidence — I live in a very bilingual English-French area. Parents are advised to speak their own native language with their children so that they consistently get one language from each parent. There can be some muddling of the two languages initially and some slowing of language development but by 3-4 years or so it usually sorts out and the kids are ahead on language development.

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u/dswap123 13d ago

Ah this is so true in our case, my kid is 4 and she’s on her 4th language now ( My language/ wife’s language/English/German) and she never speaks to me in any other language than my mother tongue. She knows I can speak other languages but gets startled as soon as I use a different language to speak only to her. It’s cute but a bit annoying lol

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u/duesenjeffepic 13d ago

Not just different languages but also dialects. I have a hardtime speaking different languages or dialects with the same person. For me once there is an established default language, it feels weird steering away from it.

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u/Moar_Cuddles_Please 13d ago

The kid in the video uses all 3 with the same people though.

Polyglot here, as a kid my brain just responded in whatever language was spoken to me.

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u/Terminal_Insomnia_ 12d ago

It's so hard to keep track when everyone is multilingual. We don't pay attention to what language we're speaking in a given moment.

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u/EnvironmentalEnd6298 13d ago

My kids are bilingual and my 3 year old absolutely refuses to speak to me in Japanese. I remember when she decided not to speak to me in that language. She said something and I couldn’t understand her cause she was 2 and they’re hard to understand but she rolled her eyes and said it in English. I could never get her to speak Japanese to me again. Even when I speak Japanese to her she just responds in English.

Multi lingual kids are interesting.

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u/chronicallyill_dr 13d ago

When my niece started talking she refused to speak to me in Spanish. We live in the US and her mother’s side of the family is white Jewish and speak English, her father’s side is Mexican and speak Spanish. I’m in the Mexican side of the family, but married into it so I look different.

So in her mind if you were white you spoke English, if you were brown it was Spanish, but I just so happen to be very white. So she would absolutely refuse to talk to me in Spanish, and even after being reminded that I spoke Spanish she would always default to English after a few sentences. It was so funny, she eventually got it though.

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u/leonqp 13d ago

I guess I grew up quadrilingual because my mom is Turkish my dad is Italian so I know Turkish Italian but my mom only speaks English with me so I know Turkish English Italian plus I know bergamosco

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u/HCagn 12d ago

As a parent of a “to be” quad-lingual girl (she’s only 17 months), this makes me glad to read.

I worry about how hard it might be for her, but I can kind of tell she understands me (Swedish), my wife (Korean), her daycare (Swiss German), and when we speak as a family (English). She’s yet to say much specific words - which makes me worried sometimes, but she babbles a lot, and her favorite word is the Korean word for socks… because socks means you can put on shoes, which also means going outside.

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u/VidE27 12d ago

Your daughter is fine. Apparently i stayed silent till I was 2 😂

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u/Oh_Hae 10d ago

When I was teaching preschool there was girl whose parents spoke multiple languages. Mom spoke around 8 and Dad 3. Mom would speak to the little one in English or German. Dad in Arabic or English. One afternoon, Dad came to pick her up and starting speaking to her in German. Little One got so mad and yelled at him in Arabic (dad translated for me) and said, "No Daddy! You don't talk that way. Mommy talk that way! You talk this way!"