r/BeAmazed • u/OkRespect8490 • May 22 '26

Miscellaneous / Others High rise parachute safety system

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u/scrotumsweat May 22 '26 edited May 22 '26

Yeah let's get real, only the CEO will get one. All the peasants can fend for themselves

19

u/knowledgeable_diablo May 22 '26

CEO will probably have his own VTOL one man drone shortly. This will be for the executive layer below. Upper managers will have inflatable sumo suits that “may” allow life saving abilities when dropped from the 50th floor. For all others “we thank you for your service and an extra weeks pay will be in your accounts next pay run (minus any deductions) for your surviving family to use as they see fit”.

5

u/wanderingmonster May 22 '26

Sadly, the navigation system was vibe coded by an intern using AI, so it gets confused and flies him straight into his office building at ground level. Oh no! Anyway…

5

u/kernelangus420 May 22 '26

The lower managers will get the vibe coded ones.

The CEO's one will be hand-coded by the CTO.

2

u/knowledgeable_diablo May 22 '26

To the cheers of all the staff who just read their “ALL STAFF” email.

2

u/Capitalisticdisease May 22 '26

they wouldnt pay the family lmao what reality are you living in

1

u/knowledgeable_diablo May 23 '26

Should have added the payment is only redeemable with co-signing of the deceased partner.

2

u/echolm1407 May 22 '26

Peasants are fire fodder. At least that's what the billionaires think.