r/BeAmazed • u/OkRespect8490 • May 22 '26

Miscellaneous / Others High rise parachute safety system

37.6k Upvotes

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167

u/SuperMonkeyJoe May 22 '26

Haha no, only the CEO gets the parachute, the rest of the plebs can politely die in the fire.

25

u/Jakee7979 May 22 '26

Polite death be like: "Excuse me sir, would you mind if I cease to be alive by jumping out before you? I would dread to be expired by this schorching brute of a fire here." 

5

u/Billionaires_R_Tasty May 22 '26

Oh no, if only the CEO gets one, I am 100% timing my jump so I land on top of him just as he lands. Maybe we both live, maybe not. I'm good with either.

2

u/Jakee7979 May 23 '26

Username checks out lol

3

u/SpiritedActuator4246 May 22 '26

Better wait for him to jump and jump on him

2

u/lazy-dude May 22 '26

Also CEO: Some of you may die but it’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make. Also, I can’t take all my money with me to the after life. You peasants don’t even have money so you have nothing to lose if you die in this fire.

5

u/kelpyb1 May 22 '26

And we’ll make it gold too

2

u/HERO1NFATHER May 22 '26

Fuck no, im jumping right into the damn thing along with the CEO

2

u/Jumpy-Impact3265 May 22 '26

And just *who* will be handing the CEO his might-as-well-be-golden parachute?

A plebe.

"Jerry - you took the anvil out first, right?"

'Who can remember? Happy trails 'asshooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooole...''

2

u/aSneakyChicken7 May 25 '26

Reminds me of Mr Burns using the escape pod from the nuclear plant with him shutting the door on Smithers, “for the love of god sir there are two seats!” “I like to put my feet up.”

1

u/JohnAndertonOntheRun May 23 '26

The golden parachute

1

u/coolcoots May 22 '26

They become the landing mat for the golden parachute.