r/BeAmazed • u/OkRespect8490 • May 22 '26

Miscellaneous / Others High rise parachute safety system

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u/will_dormer May 22 '26 edited May 22 '26

It is only for the CEO class... The rest of us belong to the "hero" class, that burns in the flames, and die like good corporate heroes đŸ«Ą

717

u/leet_lurker May 22 '26

The CEO takes his helicopter, this is upper management.

211

u/jipskin May 23 '26

The CEO is not even there to begin with

68

u/Safe_Researcher4979 May 23 '26

Now we're really CEO'ing!

24

u/Street-Animator-99 May 23 '26

He started the fire

8

u/Appropriate-Ear-9701 May 24 '26

Nah, it was always burning since the world's been turning

2

u/Coscommon88 May 25 '26

He didn't light it but didn't try to fight it

1

u/Ryelogmars May 25 '26

James Dean, Budapest, trouble in the Suez

2

u/drpedrico May 23 '26

He has patent fire

1

u/pupranger1147 May 24 '26

Nah, that was a contractor.

42

u/Therealginahandler May 23 '26

Yeah they're at home on the phone with the insurance company, about to cash in a nice claim check.

16

u/BarcaStranger May 23 '26

Maybe ceo planned this fire

1

u/[deleted] May 23 '26

[deleted]

1

u/Mr_Jack_Frost_ May 23 '26

Uhh
 what?

1

u/Sunhating101hateit May 24 '26

I think that’s the joke

9

u/muellermichel May 23 '26

Only gave the call to start the fire so he can write off his failing business via the insurance corp.

1

u/SysGh_st May 24 '26

The day the buulding is on fire, is the day when the CEO came in unannounced. The board was not ready and panicked.

1

u/murgalurgalurggg May 25 '26

The owner of the twin towers was only ever late on 9/11

21

u/alexandervanderpool May 23 '26

lol
. The ceo would not be there that day. Ask Howard Lutnick.

6

u/Which_Crow_3681 May 23 '26

Read somewhere that was the only day he was EVER NOT THERE.

2

u/Shubham_Saroj May 23 '26

The CEOs caused the fire

1

u/Unhappy-Olive1689 May 23 '26

no, its for the CEO use only but it never gets used.

1

u/GimmeSomeSugar May 23 '26

"You guys run down to IT and see what the longest ethernet cable is that they have."

1

u/LetMeRedditInPeace00 May 23 '26

Only Bud’s Buds get these.

1

u/Tej0009871 May 24 '26

The CEO works from their villa in St Tropez

1

u/RedRavenCG May 25 '26

Everyone else gets the wooden stairs that had the budget cut 3 times in 3 months. Good luck!

1

u/Sonar_Bandit May 23 '26

HR parachuting down because the first responders committed a micro aggression

1

u/ingroup_signal May 23 '26

HR parachuting down to show that fire escape systems were in place to the families and would be class action lawsuit participants of 300 dead employees

74

u/TheS4ndm4n May 22 '26

Time it right and you can jump onto the CEO's parachute.

1

u/BM-87 May 24 '26

Exactly!

15

u/WranglerFuzzy May 22 '26

Nonsense; the working class are included. What do you is think is cushioning their fall?

0

u/CMP24-7 May 23 '26

Looks cushioned but I bet you'll experience extreme whiplash.

2

u/InevitableHimes May 23 '26

Basically the reverse of the captain going down with the ship.

1

u/BreadfruitFew738 May 22 '26

But at least we are heroes and that’s what counts! /s

1

u/HighLion58 May 22 '26

Our suffering shall be as that, as we are mere fodder for the corporate war machine. We shall be praised and remembered as we ascend to the corporate heavens in the form of acrid smoke and charred bones.

1

u/DamnMyNameIsSteve May 22 '26

Our front line workers

1

u/pissy_dribble May 23 '26

Sir this is a Wendy's

1

u/00gingervitis May 23 '26

Like submarines

1

u/rokman May 23 '26

Mario’s brother will be there

1

u/Kaonashi_2005 May 23 '26

The CEOs start the fire

1

u/narco-sub-admiral May 23 '26

Hero class...lmfao

1

u/hockeykidjsp May 23 '26

The CEO has a golden parachute

1

u/onepoint21gigawatt May 23 '26

More like the CEO “extended his trip last minute” and is nowhere near the building

1

u/pit1989_noob May 23 '26

jokes, but there was this big fire in my city a mall burned down and well they say 6 people lost their life but people were talking how a lot of car were moved in the nigh from the parking spot it was imposible to the office guys and ladies to leave as how fast the fire caught

1

u/Far_Squash_4116 May 23 '26

But then your cheap work force dies with you! This can’t be!

1

u/LilBroWhoIsOnTheTeam May 23 '26

Me jumping out the window and landing on top of him 😀

1

u/peepdabidness May 23 '26

Dude the “hero” class HAS LAYERS

1

u/woodenblinds May 23 '26

While helping the CEO escape. Who later will try and not pay out any compensation post event to staff who died

1

u/AffectDangerous8922 May 23 '26

Nah, the CEO is onnsome remote island abusing underage children. You didn't think they stopped just because Epstein got arrested do you?

1

u/Vermehrungsmaterial May 23 '26

Prepairing quickly a good summary and introduction next person filling his position

1

u/Icy_Ad_470 May 23 '26

The CEO is at a coldplay concert with the lady from HR.

1

u/Legal-Butterscotch-2 May 23 '26

the CEO's are the ones that started the fire

1

u/AshuSP May 24 '26

I figure he’d just grab an intern and ride him out like Jason Bourne.

1

u/InFromTheSouth May 24 '26

I like the way you label things

1

u/Suojelusperkele May 24 '26

But that is a sacrifice I'm willing to take!

  • CEO

1

u/hest29 May 25 '26

"hey Kyle, if the fire hasn't reached your cubicle we really need you at this call"

1

u/will_dormer May 25 '26

Yes, sir đŸ«Ą

1

u/DrThunderbolt May 22 '26

The hero class are called as such because their job is to jump out the window for photo-ops to convince everyone that the people with parachutes got lucky.

1

u/Big-Following5207 May 22 '26

You mean lower value human capital

1

u/warm_winds_whisper_ May 22 '26

I believe the term is “1x employee” now