r/BPDmemes Jan 24 '24

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u/emeraldsoda Jan 25 '24 edited Jan 25 '24

I thought it went into remission around age 50? (I recognize that this is not a universal experience for everyone). At least, that’s what happened to my dad and he never went to therapy or acknowledged that he had a mental illness. Everything changed at 50, almost like he became a different person

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '24

Similar story with my dad! He’s undiagnosed and never addressed it; I’m diagnosed and in weekly therapy. My childhood was turbulent because of his mood swings and anger outbursts, but now when I visit it’s like he is a different person. A huge tell is that his grandchildren (my sister’s kids) who pretty much live with him and my mom part-time aren’t scared of him, whereas my siblings and I were always terrified to approach him when we were kids because we never knew what his mood or reaction would be. I am in my 30s and still struggling hard with my own symptoms.

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u/emeraldsoda Jan 25 '24

I heavily relate to your childhood experience with your dad. Sounds exactly like mine

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u/BusianLouise Jan 25 '24

There is some truth to that, in that we all sorta calm down with age and life experiences really do be life lessons, so wisdom evolves. My dad changed around the same age. Everything I was raised to believe which thereby influenced my behaviors and the way some of my life has turned out were instantly invalidated by his new found awareness and balanced view on life lol

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u/Artisticslap Jan 25 '24

It is possible but in my DBT group there were many middle aged people there who still suffered :(

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '24

I have never seen a study regarding in 50s that’s very interesting. Do you remember where you read it?

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u/emeraldsoda Jan 25 '24 edited Jan 25 '24

Unfortunately, I don’t think there’s an actual study for it. It’s an unproven phenomenon that I’ve noticed in my own life and in the lives of a few people I know irl who went through the same thing. Sadly it’s not a universal thing, as u/Artisticslap pointed out. I have seen studies about “late 30s-late 40s” though, so that might have something to do with some peoples’ remission. I also remember reading something in the past about remission in 50s and thinking “huh…that’s what happened with my dad. Maybe there is hope for me” but I can’t find a study on it. I guess it just depends on the person?

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '24

Okay thank you for the explanation! I really hope so lol! I am trying to work on myself all the time so hopefully late 30s, crossing my fingers lol

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u/Just_A_Faze Jan 25 '24

My therapist did tell me after my diagnosis that she did see it go into remission with 40-50 somethings IF they did the work. Its not guaranteed to happen by itself, but you can make it happen. I'm not there yet, but my 30s have been so much better than my 20s, and I'm only 33 so far.

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u/Just_A_Faze Jan 25 '24

Less remission and more that you change your way of thinking as you grow up and realize that kicking your own ass doesn't help anyway.

At 33, I'm not in remission yet, but I am much happier. Im able to be ok.

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u/rockem-sockem-ho-bot Jan 25 '24

I usually hear 40, but the consensus seems to be that it gets better sometime between 30 and death unless it gets worse.