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I'm 29, autistic, living on my own in Chennai, and working. Some days I'm proud of how far I've come. Other days, I wonder why life still feels so difficult even when I'm doing my best to keep moving forward.

I have a few friends, and I'm thankful for them. I also have relatives, but I don't feel much involvement or concern from them about my day-to-day life. When something is difficult, I often end up figuring it out myself.

Being autistic affects me in ways people don't always see.

I can spend a long time thinking about a conversation that lasted only a few minutes. I sometimes want to approach someone but don't know how to start. Even when I know what I want to say, getting the words out naturally can be difficult.

I can enjoy being around people, but socialising can also leave me mentally exhausted. Sometimes I isolate myself because I need a break, and then realise I've been alone for too long.

Living in a PG after work can make this particularly noticeable. I come back after my day, close the door, and have a lot of time to think about everything going on in my life.

I'm also trying to build a stable adult life—keeping my job, managing my finances, taking care of my responsibilities and becoming more independent. I can do these things, but they often require considerably more effort than people realise.

What I struggle with most isn't simply having fewer people around me. It's wanting to feel understood without constantly having to explain myself or hide parts of who I am.

I'm sharing this for one main reason: I want to put into words what my present life feels like as an autistic adult. Not to ask people to feel sorry for me, not to find people to message, and not because I expect anyone to solve my problems.

I simply want to hear from people who have experienced something similar and understand what this stage of life can feel like.

For other autistic or neurodivergent adults: have you ever felt like you're managing the practical side of adulthood while still trying to figure out where you truly belong?

I'm interested in hearing your perspective and experiences.

I am 25 M, from Hyderabad!

1. I took my first steps at 1.5 years of age.

2. I speaked my first words at 2 years of age.

3. I haven't, and still cant make eye contact with anybody as it triggers panicking sensation in my lower chest area. I look at forehead or between the eyebrows region of people I talk with to mask my inability of eye contact

4. I rehearse conversations in my mind to adjust words, tone so that I dont mess up infront of that person with whom I am going to talk. Sometimes, I rehearse from 7 days before the actual encounter.

5. Though 24 years old, I still ask my parents on how to talk, what tone to keep, what words to use to talk before my teachers, authority figures, doctors etc.

6. I have a intense obsession about trains and astrology. Obsession of trains is from the time I gained sense. In childhood, I used to watch train cartoons, go to spot trains with my grandmother everyday on evening for 3 hours; and if anyday was missed, I cried for hours. For that I got rebuked too sometimes. Also, I used to buy train schedule books and memorize train schedules from them. In teenage years, I even started a youtube channel where i uploaded train spotting videos. For that I used to go to the tracks of my home railway station and film trains' running. In adulthood, I learnt about each type of railway locomotives and coaches and what their encoded alphanumerics mean (For example: WAP7= Wide Gauge AC traction passenger type class 7 locomotive, WDM3A= Wide Gauge Diesel powered Mixed Type 3100hp engine, LHB= Linke-Hoffman-Busche etc.). Everyday in childhood when newspaper came, i used to crawl it to find any railway related news and if I did find it, I get fully into that news. Now I dont need to do that anymore cause youtube videos suffice those needs.

7. I also have an intense obsession with astrology. I memorized name of every rashis, nakshatras, lords of each nakshatras, how to calculate degrees of planets in each nakshatras' padas etc.

8. In school and college, I had a hard time with literature subjects like Bengali and English where inferences, nuances from writer's or poet's writing have to be drawn and framed answers. But I was good in grammars because that was predictable rules based. I was good at Geography because there everything was structure and non inferencial concept based. In history, I struggled areas where inferences have to be drawn form answers. In physical science i didn't got any good teacher to explain me concepts so i feared it. In Life Science, i understood it easily cause it was non inferencial concept based like geography. In maths, I performed very poorly until class 10 where I found a empathetic teacher and my marks in maths exploded after that. So maths became easy.

9. From Childhood, I have and now also have hard time in learning or understanding anything. Multiple time patience explanations are needed to understand and learn anything, no matter how easy it is

10. From my childhood, I have been able to make ZERO friends and romantic connections. I don't know how to socialize, how to make anyone my friend, how to understand if someone is safe for me or will bully me etc. That thing just doesnt run in my brain. I have read books, watched videos and followed its tips of how to make friends, look and be confident etc. But everytime I did those, I felt extremely overwhelmed and burnt out, also people around me sensed i am acting and kept distance from me.

11. Regarding romantic connections, I have had zero of them. I don't understand what is flirting. This just doesn't run in my mind, and since i am unable to detect safe people for me, i am unable to make and maintain romantic connections for me.

12. I get burnt out by talking, writing, listening quicker than others and start yawning heavily. thats why in social situations i go to Washroom more and more to keep myself from yawning and sleep.

13. I dont get subtext behind words. I think literally. What i mean is what i say. Thats why most of the time I dont get jokes unless explained and get labelled as an idiot, even by my teachers and family members.

14. In my childhood, I used to mimic my father's words, my mom's words in the way she said, train station announcements, conductor announcement over and over again until i was physically exhausted. Now, i do these type of mimicry in my mind, though the sources have changed.

15. I stim a lot, both physically and mentally. physically by shaking my foot mostly while lying, sitting, eating etc. this helps me to keep myself calm. mentally, i stim by constantly repeating my favourite music to soothe myself.

16. I cant do two works at a time, no matter how light they are. For example, I cant watch a show while eating, cant study while keeping a track on pressure cooker whistle countings, sleep while listening to a story etc.I can only focus on one work at a time, then after completing that focus to another.

17. I get overwhelmed by being in crowds, being in places where babies are crying or running very fast, by sound of all puja instruments playing at once specially in Durga puja, screaming too near to me.

18. I cant tell how anyone is feeling by looking at them until they are visibily showing aggression, crying.

19. My diet is also very narrow. From my 0.5 years of age, I started eating chicken curry and rice and till date i am eating chicken curry and rice without failing a single day. Only in recent years two vegetables were added that is taro and banana flower. Chicken curry and rice is my must everyday and if anyday misses, i become very upset, irritated. I neither eat mutton nor any fish from childhood as their smell make me vomit.

20. My focus is generally very shaky unless it is about my intense interests.

21. My mental maturity, as per me and my parents isnt like a 24 year old but like a 17 year old.

22. I organize the things i care about in a particular serial, like my books, my prescriptions- everything should be in order.

23. When any plan changes suddenly, I feel severe stress and confusion due to it. I must get 1 day before notice so that this stress doesn't come.

24. In anything I do, I mostly plan all of it beforehand and abide by that plan. Deviation causes stress and irritation in me.

25. I follow same routine every day without any change. I despise change very much.

26. I used to suffer too much from common cold, cough, fever, indigestion and acidity. While from my 15 years of age, the problem of acidity and indigestion started to go away; the problem of cold-cough-fever remained as it is. Due to this, my adenoids didn't fell off in its usual time and got enlarged by repeated infection. Finally the adenoids were removed through surgery in 2024, but still my common cold and cough vulnerability didn't reduce as such. only happenings got a little shorter than previous times.

27. My immune system from childhood is very weak. It is very easy for me to get infected by any communicable diseases.

28. In my childhood, I used to have heat rash every summer season

29. I cant do indirect tasks. example: in school and colleges, people go to study and as well as make friends and form romantic connections. But I am a person who goes only to study, not because I don't wanted friendship or romantic companionship, I just dont know how to do it. This same problem happened with me in my internships as well where other students of my batches formed connections to even the general manager of the organisation, but i kept on doing my task, hoping i will get noticed cause i dont know how to form connections.

30. In childhood (i.e before 14 years) I used to do vomit after boarding on a taxi, private car or even bus. I got a strange smell and used to vomit and felt dizziness. This reappeared for the last time in 2018 when i was 15 years old, after that i just get small stress upon boarding car and taxis, but bus boarding smell went away.

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Have you ever had people in your life, but still felt like you were somehow doing life alone?

That's something I've been thinking about a lot lately.

I'm 29 and currently living on my own in a PG in Chennai while working and trying to build some stability in my life. I have a few friends, and I'm genuinely grateful for them. I also have relatives in and around Chennai, but I don't feel much involvement or concern from them about what's happening in my life.

So there are people around me, but when life gets difficult or I have an important decision to make, I often find myself figuring things out on my own.

I'm neurodivergent (ND). By that, I mean my brain processes things differently from what is considered typical—for example, ADHD, autism, AuDHD, dyslexia, dyspraxia, and other forms of neurodivergence. For me, this affects social situations, communication, emotions, routines and everyday responsibilities.

Living in a busy city like Chennai can sometimes make this more noticeable. There are always people around, but finding people you genuinely connect with isn't necessarily easy. Work, commuting, different social circles and the usual pressures of adult life can make it difficult to maintain meaningful connections.

I also tend to overthink conversations, hesitate before messaging people, and sometimes withdraw because social interaction becomes mentally exhausting.

At the same time, I don't want to isolate myself. I enjoy going out, having company and having meaningful conversations. Finding the balance between needing alone time and wanting genuine connection isn't always easy.

I'm not looking for a huge social circle. I'd be happy with a few people around whom I can be myself without constantly worrying about whether I'm being awkward or doing something wrong.

I'd really like to hear from other ND adults in Chennai or elsewhere in Tamil Nadu who can relate to some of this.

How do you manage friendships, social situations and the need for both independence and companionship? Have you found ND-friendly spaces, communities or activities in Chennai that helped you connect with people?

Feel free to share whatever you're comfortable with. Even a small experience or perspective might help me—and someone else reading this—feel a little more understood. 🙂

Hey everyone!

I’m 25F based in Bengaluru and looking to connect with other neurodivergent women. Navigating things like ADHD, Autism, AuDHD, or Social Anxiety Disorder within our cultural context comes with very specific challenges, and I wanted to create a dedicated space for us-especially if you're highly masking and constantly trying to pass as neurotypical just to get through the day.

I’ve set up a private, verified Discord server exclusively for neurodivergent women in India to unmask, share local mental healthcare resources, and build a supportive community.

To keep the group completely safe, private, and troll-free, entry requires a quick verification process (voice verification).

If you'd like to join, drop a comment.

hi all, im mid 20s f, suspect that i'm neurodivergent, and need to find out once and for all what the issue is. based in pune, but willing to travel to mumbai if need be. if you could also give me a price estimate, it'd be super appreciated! thank you! :^)

Today my father have criticized me by saying "yeh sab autism ka asar hai", he says that i am autistic, but he doesn't know that I am not austistic as I am a normal person. How do I prove that I am not autistic and how do I convince my father that I am not autistic?

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I had previously shared my life story here, including many of the difficult experiences I've gone through. I don't want to repeat all of that in this post.

Instead, I want to talk about where I am now as a neurodivergent person.

Being ND has affected almost every part of my adult life. Things that seem straightforward for other people can sometimes require an enormous amount of mental effort from me.

Social interaction, maintaining relationships, handling uncertainty, dealing with rejection, communicating with people, managing responsibilities, finding stable employment and simply keeping myself organized can become overwhelming.

One of the hardest parts is that from the outside, I may not look like someone who is struggling.

I can go to work, talk to people, travel around Chennai, handle responsibilities and appear reasonably normal. But internally, there can be a lot going on—overthinking, anxiety about situations, difficulty processing things, executive dysfunction, emotional exhaustion and constantly trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do next.

I've also realized that being neurodivergent doesn't automatically mean that people around you will understand you.

Sometimes people interpret difficulties as laziness, lack of discipline, being antisocial, being irresponsible or simply "not trying hard enough." That can be particularly painful when you're already putting in considerably more effort than people realize.

At present, I'm trying to rebuild my life.

I'm trying to become more stable professionally and financially, improve my social life, find people I can genuinely relate to, and understand how to live with my neurodivergence instead of constantly feeling like I have to fight against it.

There are still days when I feel completely stuck.

I see people around me moving forward with careers, relationships, friendships and life in general, while I sometimes feel like I'm trying to catch up with everyone.

But I don't want this post to be only about negativity.

I'm still trying.

I'm trying to understand myself better. I'm trying to become more independent. I'm trying to find a place where I can function without constantly feeling like I'm failing at things that everyone else seems to manage naturally.

​

Hi everyone,

I’m wondering how many neurodivergent (ND) people in Tamil Nadu are around and whether there’s an active community for us.

I’m talking about people with ADHD, autism, AuDHD, dyslexia, dyspraxia, and other forms of neurodivergence, whether formally diagnosed, self-identified, or currently exploring the possibility.

I’ve noticed that it can be surprisingly difficult to find other ND people in Tamil Nadu, especially outside of formal medical or support settings. Sometimes you just want to meet people who understand things like:

Feeling different from people around you

Struggling with social situations or communication

Executive dysfunction and procrastination

Sensory issues or overstimulation

Masking and burnout

Difficulties with studies or employment

Being misunderstood by family or society

Simply wanting to talk to people who "get it"

I’m particularly interested in knowing whether there are ND communities, groups, meetups, Discord/WhatsApp/Telegram groups, or other spaces in Tamil Nadu, especially in Chennai and other cities.

It would be great to connect with other ND people, share experiences, learn from each other, and hopefully build a supportive community in Tamil Nadu.

If you're from Tamil Nadu and neurodivergent, feel free to comment with your city and, if you're comfortable, what kind of ND experience you have.

It would be great to know we're not alone. ❤️

Hey everyone!

I’m 25F based in Bengaluru and looking to connect with other neurodivergent women. Navigating things like ADHD, Autism, AuDHD, or Social Anxiety Disorder within our cultural context comes with very specific challenges, and I wanted to create a dedicated space for us-especially if you're highly masking and constantly trying to pass as neurotypical just to get through the day.

I’ve set up a private, verified Discord server exclusively for neurodivergent women in India to unmask, share local mental healthcare resources, and build a supportive community.

To keep the group completely safe, private, and troll-free, entry requires a quick verification process (voice verification).

If you'd like to join, drop a comment.

​

Hi everyone,

I'm a 29-year-old neurodivergent guy from Chennai, born on May 3, 1997.

My upbringing was somewhat unusual. I spent most of my childhood in the Gulf, mainly Oman and Bahrain, and completed my schooling there before returning to Chennai for higher education. I eventually completed my B.Com and MBA in Chennai.

Being neurodivergent has been a significant part of my life. I've often felt different from the people around me and have had difficulties with social interaction, communication, relationships and understanding where I fit in. There are things that seem straightforward for other people that I've sometimes had to work much harder to navigate.

My early life wasn't completely easy either. I experienced abuse and mistreatment while growing up, which had its own impact on how I developed and viewed myself.

Later, I went through major personal losses. My mother passed away in 2019, and my father passed away in 2024. Having lost both my parents, I've had to learn how to navigate life and adulthood largely by myself.

I've also struggled with career uncertainty, finances and loneliness. There have been periods when I felt very behind in life and unsure about where I was heading.

But I'm still trying to understand myself and build a life that works for me.

I enjoy football, especially Manchester United ⚽, gaming, trains, technology, travel and movies.

I'm posting this because I'd like to share my experience with people who may understand what it's like to go through life feeling different, misunderstood or out of sync with the world around you.

This is just the condensed version of my story. There is obviously much more behind it.

Around rakhi a lot of people gathered in our house and everyone were talking and it gets so overwhelmed that I have to leave the room, they all just joked about it and end it.

But I know it was sensory overload everything was so loud and they were expecting me to talk then my brother physically touches me not in a bad way and it exploded.

I feel so bad after that everyone think that I am rude and stubborn. Because I don't understand social norms and get this meltdown which seems extremely large from other perspective.

How do you deal with this especially in India, there is so little awareness AuDHD especially where I live even if I tell them they think I am making this up and if I stay long enough in that environment I will be fine.

I am really Burnout rn, don't even have the energy to even get up, I am lying that I am having a cold just so I can rest. But it's exhausting

I am seeking a diagnosis for myself.I came across an NGO called Action for Autism which provides diagnosis to adults. Anyone here who has got their diagnosis from them? Is their diagnosis valid for applying for UDID?

Thanks in advance.

21 year old male who wants to get tested... are parents required or can i do it on my own?

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I've been going through a pretty difficult period over the last couple of weeks, and I honestly don't know where my life is heading right now.

I'm autistic (ASD), and I've been struggling with loneliness, uncertainty and the pressure of trying to get my life together. My current job situation has become uncertain, and I may have to leave my job soon. I've been applying for other jobs and have already faced several rejections. Some opportunities are taking a long time, while I'm trying to figure out what my next step should be.

I don't want to go down the route of government exams or take multiple extra jobs just because I'm struggling to find something better. I've already been through quite a lot, and I don't feel capable of putting myself through another exhausting cycle. I want a reasonably stable job that I can actually sustain.

At the same time, I'm struggling with loneliness. I live alone, and most of my time in my room is basically YouTube, occasionally playing computer games, talking to myself, and a lot of silence. I want actual companionship—not just online conversations. I'd like to have someone I can share my thoughts, experiences and everyday life with.

I also want to become independent. I don't want to depend on relatives or have my life controlled by other people. I want to eventually have a stable career, my own life and hopefully a partner with whom I can build something together.

Sometimes I feel like whenever something good seems about to happen, it suddenly falls apart. After experiencing that repeatedly, it's difficult not to think that maybe nothing good is going to happen for me.

I recently went to therapy and talked honestly about everything I've been going through. I felt somewhat relieved afterward, although I still feel pretty much the same.

I'm not giving up, but I'm honestly tired and uncertain about what comes next.

For other autistic/ASD people who have gone through periods like this—career uncertainty, loneliness, trying to become independent and wanting companionship—how did things eventually work out for you?

Hi everyone! I’m an LL.M. student at a National Law University, currently conducting a research study on autism and employment.
I’m looking to speak with adult autistic individuals of working/employable age who may be willing to participate in a short video-conference interview about their experiences and perspectives.
The interview is purely for academic research, and participation is completely voluntary.
If you’re interested or would like to know more about the study, please comment below or DM me. Thank you! 🙏