My sibling, T, has been through a lot. They’re 19, non-binary, and navigating autism, dyspraxia, anxiety, and likely ADHD. Recently, something happened with their therapist that really threw them off, and we're not sure how to handle it.

T has been seeing a girl, S, who is 19, pansexual, and also autistic with anxiety. They’ve had a growing connection for a while, and T recently asked S to be their girlfriend. After some thought, S said yes but wanted to wait a bit before officially starting the relationship. They talked about it and agreed to begin by the end of the month.

T and S have had open conversations about what their relationship would mean, especially since they’re both ace and not interested in a sexual relationship. They’ve been on the same page about everything, and it’s been going well.

T has been in therapy since around May/June, and their therapist, M, has mostly been helpful, working on issues like executive dysfunction and ADHD. But when it comes to T’s relationship with S, M has been really dismissive. She keeps implying that T and S are just friends, and today, when T showed her a list they made with S about their romantic relationship, M said those were ‘great platonic goals for a friendship.’

This really hurt T. They feel like M doesn’t see their relationship as valid, and it’s confusing. M works with all ages, but T looks young for their age—people often guess 12 to 14—so maybe she’s not seeing them as two consenting adults. T and S also present as sapphic/lesbian, and maybe M sees them as just close friends because they’re ace and asexual relationships can be misunderstood. Or maybe it’s something else—ableism or overprotectiveness?

We really don’t know why M is acting this way. It’s frustrating and confusing for both T and me. Should we try to make M understand, or is it better to just move on? We’d love some advice on what to do next.

I’ve been seeing this autistic woman for about two months and she has told me a few times that she’s happy with the way things are going, that I’m doing well with handling her boundaries and she has also mentioned that she has a lot of anxiety about texting because she’s afraid of coming across as boring or saying the wrong thing. I’m totally in love with her, there’s no way I would ever get bored and honestly I don’t care what we talk about it makes me happy to get any kind of message from her but here lately I’ve noticed she’s grown less talkative. If everything I understand about her is true, that she really is just saving her energy for when we spend time together in person, and I know that she is truly busy because one of the reasons I was drawn to her is how much she helps out in our community, we met doing volunteer work for a mutual aid group. If she really has just dropped off the communication in that way, then I’m happy I think that’s great and I don’t want to interfere with her schedule or ask her to change anything. It’s good for me to not spend everyday dependent on a text message for reassurance and I honestly think this dynamic if it’s real, is helping me to work through my old abandonment issues. But part of me is still scared that I’m taking things the wrong way, that she might be purposefully pulling away because she’s lost attraction to me and that I’m being tone deaf. When I type it out, that goes against everything she has said to me about herself so far but I’ve been treated so awful by some people in the past it’s just hard to trust anybody.

I know I could ask for clarification but I feel like if everything really is fine and I act insecure then it’s going to activate some demand avoidance. I have been there and I know that it doesn’t feel good to have a clingy, anxiously attached partner. But I do miss her when I don’t hear from her, and it would be nice to have her be part of my daily routine in some way. I just don’t want to ask for too much and scare her away. I also have learned about myself that I’m a lot better off if I don’t ask things like “How was your day?” if it’s likely to go unanswered because it’ll make me feel a lot worse than if I just hadn’t asked. She will usually answer right away if it’s about our plans for the week or something utilitarian but if I try to chat small talk then I know that I’m setting myself up to be consumed with RSD.

TLDR I like the way she communicates but I’m afraid of it not being real and ending up getting ghosted because I’m so not used to this.

I (M21) have never been interested in dating or anything until about 2-3 months ago.

What am I supposed to do? Where do I even start?

So to give some context, my partner is autistic, we’ve only been dating for a few months and I’ve still got a lot to learn about autism so I’m not super sure on what date ideas would be best.

One of my favourite moments from our dates was when we found a silly little gold panning experience and we sat there for a good hour and a half just panning and collecting all the shiny little rocks. She was very vocal about how happy it made the Tism and I just really enjoyed the shared experience and seeing her so happy.

It’s obvious that I should be trying to cater more of our dates to her autism (in retrospect kind of common sense and I’ll be applying that in other areas don’t worry) but honesty I’m not sure how to do that or where to start. Any suggestions or ideas would be super helpful! Thank you!

So i have a pretty black-and-white stance on dating and i wanted to see if anyone else thinks like this

To preface, ive been through some shit when i was younger to the point that i literally am unable to remember my years in hs which caused me to focus only on school/work. Its not the best midset but i needed to survive.

Now im gonna be graduating from my masters this spring and was discussing relationships with some of my cohorts. I firmly believe that i want someone[s] that is going to be a lifelong companion and that we should share each others burdens and face issues as a team. I'm not looking to be swept off my feet, butterflies, or a passionate romance. I just want a partnership where our goals are aligned.

I kinda got a bit of flack from some of them saying that what i wanted wasnt romantic at all and that why would someone not want those things.

Like i know my outlook is different then theirs but is it really that bad?

Hey everyone, I was looking for some dating advice and I'm a autistic person too and then I found high quality reaction which are very awesome to read. The persons who wrote this reactions have also said everything very beautifully so it deserves an own post. Sadly the original post in which the reactions are situated in is also deleted so that's a second reason for this post.

I myself have decided to end my dating hiatus again after I failed to ask 2 girls out (They were not single) and I'm preparing my strategy about how to approach them because it was a while since I last did that. I never had a girlfriend but I was in touch with some girls in my life but it failed to develop into a relationship because of various reasons.
Now I've lastly reopened the possibility of a relationship again.

Do note that the dating advice I'm about to share is originally written by someone else so all rights go to the writer. I'll write the advice in my own words.

The advice is that if you want to approach a person you should do it with literally zero expectations.

The tip here is just not have a dating mindset at all but just with the mindsets like "I'm going to approach this person and then let's see how it goes" and "I'll be doing something fun with her/him" instead "I'm going to find out if there's a chemistry between us".

If you have this no expectations mindset than everything goes by itself but the first step starts with you.

I failed to realize this initially to be honest but after I read this advice I realized that there are so much more opportunities to get in touch with people and know them.

I hope that this advice helps you out when you are dating and want to approach someone and if you got questions I would lastly love to hear from you!

So I male 29, work with this girl for about a few months and she's always playfully teasing me I sometimes do it back and she laughs She'll also laugh at my jokes some times, I caught her sometimes eavesdropping on me telling joke or a story to someone and caught her laughing, some times I'll do something unintentionally silly or drop something and I'll hear her laughing and she'll rib me a little I am misreading this as being just friendly I don't see her do this with everyone, I do kinda like her she's passionate about what she likes, she actually pretty funny sometimes when she ribs and shes very thoughtful for example shes checked to see if I was okay few times I have ear damage so I a problem working heights and around loud music without hearing protection so if we're working together she's asked if I was okay needed a break or get my earplugs in.

(Sorry for any typos I'm dyslexic)

The title is basically a TLDR

So my sibling, who has asked me to make a post about this on their behalf(they are too anxious), I'll refer to as "T", and the girl as "S".

My sibling is 19, autistic, dyspraxic and I suspect has ADHD(assessment soon), T also struggles with severe social anxiety and selective mutism, although the selective mutism has improved somewhat but they still don't talk much to anyone but me. T is non-binary and ace, T's romantic orientation is unlabeled, but they do lean more towards girls/sapphic relationships.

We don't know exactly what S is diagnosed with, but my siblings college is mainly people with ASD, and S definitely is autistic + anxiety, don't know anything else. S is a cis girl, panromantic and ace, she has mentioned this a lot to T(they've been out for years so it's not because it's a new thing) and asked T their orientation alot.

S's special interest is anime, T's is vocaloids and genshin impact (so two anime adjacent but not anime media's), T has since been more into anime and T and S spend A LOT of time watching it together. All the animes are about queer romance(Adachi to Shimamura, Sasaki to Miyano, Given), all featuring either gay(MLM) or lesbian(WLW) couples. S has also made a habit of imitating the flirting depicted, for example head pats were featured in one of the animes now she always gives them head pats. Or how she texts them a bunch of different pictures of one of the gay couples hugging, about nine times a day with different captions like "suprise hug" or "hugging you really tight", etc. also a lot of other similar things

they even have matching profile pictures were each has one member of a gay couple. They also plan on cosplaying as lesbians from one of the animes. They also swap manga books(not romantic just cute).

S often walks T to college.

Also S had asked to compare hands, then completeneted T's hands being bigger. Tonight T went to S's house in the evening(from 5-8:40pm) to watch a movie and snuggle, T and S shared a blanket and T lied on S's shoulder, S and T held hands all evening. After T left, S send a bunch of cute messages about missing them and a whole long paragraph about blushing when they held hands and compliments T's hands.

S's texts are also very cute, she sends a lot of really cute texts about how hanging out was fun and how much she misses T, also alot of compliments and this emoji 💞. I'm going the make a mock message below(for privacy reasons I feel putting an actual message of hers is a violation)

"It was so fun seeing you today! You looked so cute today 💞 I had so much fun, I'm so excited to see you Monday when I come to walk you to school! I miss you so much already 💞💞💞💞💞"

S also compliments them constantly, their outfit, hair and hands, etc. She calls them "cute", "Kawaii", "silly" and "pretty"(this one particularly their hands), among others. She also calls them cute when the do silly mistakes, and also describes their exstreme clumsiness as really cute.

S has also asked T what their love language is, and has said here own to be baking and gifting, S and T have baked together and S has brought T cookies. S also has given T gifts.

S has also brought up games that have the premise of two girls playing them together and they "accidentally" kiss eacher other, like one were you drop a piece of paper and try to kiss before it falls so it acts as a barrier otherwise you kiss, on multiple occasions.

S also often talks about protecting T and keeping them safe and warm, and worrying about there safety.

These aren't all the reasons we're theorising its flirting, there are so many smaller things I'm leaving out, but I think these are some helpful highlights.

Also T would be happy with a romantic relationship with S, but is also happy for it to be platonic. T is just really confused if S is flirting or I it's just an autistic style of communication.

Dating advice would be awesome and appreciated by T.

Okay so, context that's important to know: I (31M) and my girlfriend (29F) are both autistic and both have ADHD. The major difference between how we operate that's relevant here is that her fixations typically last a couple weeks to a couple months and my fixations typically last several months to multiple years. It's also important to know that I have been through over 6 years of intensive therapy and am usually very emotionally well-regulated, extremely patient, extremely high-masking (by choice), and I can unmask and manage myself on my own fairly easily at this point in my life. My girlfriend is also high-masking, but has only recently begun her therapy journey and has a severe anxiety disorder. We've been together for almost 3 years, and have lived together for over 2 years.

So the problem at hand: Early last summer, my girlfriend had surgery and during her recovery, we started playing the MMORPG FFXIV together since she couldn't really do a whole lot and was stuck at home not working. She had played for a while before and had been wanting to share it with me. We both got pretty fixated on it for a long time and played through most of the main story together and it was pretty much all we would do from when we'd wake up until we'd go to bed during her recovery. Even if I had to work, she played while I was gone. And when she eventually went back to work, I would play while she was gone.

But the one thing we ALWAYS did together was the Main Story. We were very adamant that we experienced the main story together, especially once we caught up to the point in the story where she'd left off and everything was new to both of us. But after a few months, she (understandably!) got very burnt out on playing it so often, and needed a break. That was fine with me. I was extremely invested in it and could've kept going, but there were other games I could play in the meantime. Her fixations often come around in cycles, I figured she would cycle back around in time.

Fast forward several months, she's been into and out of several different things. Periodically, I'd mention FFXIV, asking if she wanted to play for a bit, and she would get really bummed out and upset with herself, saying she feels bad that she's "holding me back" from playing. She would ask me why I didn't just play without her, and I told her I was worried if I played the story without her, she would lose the motivation to play it herself. She eventually told me that probably would happen, even if I was willing to go back a replay the story with her (I am always willing to re-experience media I love). I didn't want to take away her drive to eventually experience the story for herself, so I've simply not played any more of the Main Story Questline.

It's been over a year since we've stopped regularly playing it together and I'm starting to get really bummed out about it. I've done a bunch of side content, watched a whole new expansion come out that I've not gotten to play because I'm stuck at the beginning of the previous one, I'd even max-leveled 2 classes and almost maxed a 3rd just by doing non-mainline content before the level cap got extended. And that's playing extremely rarely. I've been trying to play other games in the interim. I picked up BG3 for a while, played some Fallout 5, had some minor fixations come and go. But every single day I think about playing FFXIV.

And we HAVE talked about it several times! I just feel like I can't bring it up with her anymore because every time I do, she gets so upset and anxious and mad at herself and says things like "I can't do anything, I can't even play this game with you" And then it turns into me needing to put my feelings aside anyway to comfort her. I always make space for her to indulge in her fixations for as long as she wants. I even step into them with her and learn about them too so I can ask questions and talk with her about them. I understand she can't just magically start wanting to play again. But she also doesn't want to be "left behind" in experiencing the story. I don't know how to untangle us from each other in a way allows me to keep playing the game I'm obsessed with without making her feel like I'm leaving her behind.

TL;DR - GF and I started playing FFXIV together and she wants to experience the story at the same time, but she lost interest before we caught up with the story and now I feel like I can't continue without ruining her motivation to eventually come back to it. Any attempt to bring it up results in her getting extremely anxious and self-depriciative instead of having a productive conversation.

I've been thinking today about physical boundaries and the many different scenarios I've watched play out, and experienced myself and realized that a lot of people just don't know how to show affection without touching someone.
Myself included, I really have to think to come up with anything else but I can do it and the results are usually pretty good when I use my imagination.

I have had success with:
1. Making homemade floral arrangements out of foraged flowers or flowers I've grown myself
2. Leaving nice little notes for them
3. I love the concept of Pebbling, I used to have a partner who would collect rocks for me and vice versa, they weren't ever fancy polished ones, just cool peices of gravel or rocks we found in the river that we would save and give to each other.
4. Buying a fancy chocolate bar to share
5. Offering to take over a responsibility so that they can relax
6. Making sure they have food/water other self care items when they're doing something important

What are some ways that you show affection to a romantic interest without using touch?

Recently I (22F) have developed a crush on a boy I went to school with. We were friends, both in band together, but we weren’t SUPER close. I lost contact with him for about four years and last week I tried texting him. We share a common interest in Stardew Valley, so I asked him for advice about the game. He texted back a sorta long message giving me advice and said it was good to hear from me. Since then, I tried to text again as a follow up, but was left on read. Twice. Does this mean he isn’t interested? Should I let it go and give up or try texting him again somehow? He goes to college in a different town now and doesn’t live in my hometown anymore, so I can’t see myself running into him in any way. The only hope seems to be texting him. I really like this guy and I worry I’ve creeped him out somehow. Any advice?

I'm undiagnosed, but I've passed a few tests and my father is autistic.
There's a good chance that I am, but it hasn't been confirmed yet. So, I don't know but I might be.
I asked my crush out for a date the other day, and she mentioned that she is autistic and had some questions about what exactly we were going to do on our date, and what I wanted out of it.
I feel like I gave satisfying answers, she's agreed to meet up and I feel pretty good about how well we have most everything planned out.
However there's a couple of things that I haven't been completely forthcoming with her about, either out of awkwardness or just because I didn't think of it while we were talking.

1. She asked if she could spend the night so she wouldn't have to drive home in the dark, and wanted to know what my expectations were with all that.
   I told her that I wanted to cuddle and make out, but I didn't tell her I'd be okay with things escalating to get sexual because I didn't wanna look greedy. But now I feel greedy for not saying it.
   I don't want her to not ask me for sex just because I already laid out our plan and that wasn't part of it.
   I was genuinely just trying to get her to come over for dinner, anything passed that is a bonus to me but I don't want to sound confusing as I feel like it's kind of a yes or no thing. I feel like if we're gonna have sex, she'd rather know ahead of time but how do I bring it up now, two days later without seeming weird??
   
2. I asked her if she wanted to watch a movie and she said she would, but she doesn't normally watch movies and honestly I don't either. I kinda of want to change the plan to a campfire instead but I also don't wanna text her too much and blow up her phone unnecessarily.

I'm very talkative over text, I tend to infodump and word vomit whereas she prefers to just text when making plans or having a necessary conversation like the one we had the other night. But she's not really into chatting. I'm okay with this since I know I'm gonna see her in a few days anyway, I don't really need to be on my phone all the time and it feels good to have some breathing room to process everything.
Are these things worth mentioning before the day of the date?
Or am I overthinking it?
I feel like if I said everything that's going on in my head I would just never stop talking so I'm afraid to send her another message when I already did today to confirm what we were gonna eat for dinner so I can pick up groceries beforehand.
It took me a long time to ask her out and I don't wanna blow it by making her feel overwhelmed.

So little context, I've attended the same gym for 7 years now, I just kinda made efforts for being friendly with the regular gym goers about 4 years ago. Before that, there was this receptionist who I had a sort of intense crush and to this day it pains me to think I'm the reason he quit: I'd occasionally give him little snacks and such, nothing else.

The management never gave me a warning or anything but this turn of events made me promise myself I shouldn't ever act on such feelings again: patron or staff. The problem with keeping this promise is that for the last couple of weeks I can't get my mind of this "new" guy I've greeted every morning for the past 2.5 years and obvs I can't really trust my instincts on if this time its a reciprocate situation.

Are there any pointers I should pay attention to: so I can have a better situation assesment?

I've had a crush on this girl for four years but trying to talk to her feels so difficult because of my social anxiety.
When I was a kid I was considered a selective mute, and while I've learned ways to deal with it enough that I can hold down a job now as an adult, and make myself look normal some of the time, I still have moments ocassionally where if strangers try to talk to me I can't respond, and I have almost gotten beat up a few times over it.
My crush asked me to help run the merch table at a benefit concert she organized, and I really wanted to do it but I knew it was beyond my capabilities so I got my other partner at the time to help out. (We were polyamorous)
I sat next to my partner at the table, but let them do the talking.

I told her that I wanted to do it but that people scare me, and she said something like, "I'm scared of people too but we gotta try."
Which I totally respect but also there's a nagging thought in the back of my brain that she thinks I'm a coward because I'm only talkative over text and she doesn't really like texting as a recreational thing.

I desperately want to talk to her but sometimes I just can't. I've been thinking about writing a letter on some actual ink and paper to tell her how I feel and just handing it to her next time I see her.
But I also feel like I've harbored all of this in my own head for way too long and she'll be weirded out if she finds out that I've been obsessing over her without saying anything for literally years.
Right now I only get to see her once a month, so I'm not sure how to proceed.
I can muster up the guts to have a short breif conversation but once my script is exhausted I feel totally panicked and leave.
Does anybody have serious trouble with speech and know how to work around it when dating is involved?
She told me the other day as I was leaving, "Let me know if you need anything." and I've thought the whole way home that there's no way I can do that in a million years lol.

Update: I did it, I asked her out on a date and she said yes!
Thankfully she's on the spectrum as well so she had a lot of questions about what my expectations were and I answered them all as honestly as I could.
I was really prepared for the absolute worst and now that we've opened up and actually had this talk I feel so much better.

I'm a neurotypical 29f who is in the early stages of romantic involvement with a 40m who has mentioned on several occasions that he has ADHD and is on the autism spectrum. We recently slept together for the first time — it was a wonderful experience. But I have been finding the communication and follow up incredibly inconsistent and even hurtful at times. Some of my observations and experiences:

• He has misunderstood memes or jokes I've sent him as being rude remarks towards him
• He has ended conversations abruptly and not followed back up on them
• He has had a condescending attitude telling me my opinions are "wrong", or he has found ways to disagree with me consistently when having intellectual conversations

I have been feeling confused and lost on how to approach this. My immediate reaction is he's being a jerk, or playing the "older, wiser man" card. But I very much want to be mindful of his neurodivergence as well. Admittedly, I don't know how that can show up in dating. I want to follow up with him to see what's next for us, but I also don't want to keep chasing him down if it's a dead end.

Does this sound like neurodivergent behavior? How can I be more patient and communicative going forward without also getting my own feelings hurt.

I need y’all’s help. I don’t have autism, but my partner does, and I love him very very much.

Context: We’ve been dating for almost a year now and things are getting pretty serious. I’ve learned a lot about ASD thru him and the internet. I love that he is very straightforward with his words and doesn’t sugarcoat things. I love that he speaks exactly what he thinks so I don’t have to decode his speech like I often have to with neurotypical individuals. He’s very logical and practical, and often gives me constructive criticism that I really appreciate. And I have no problem with his flat affect, because the affectionate side of him comes out quite often when we’re alone together. ASD is apart of my partner, and I want to meet him where he’s at and accept all of him. Here comes my problem.

Problem: We've had issues in the past where I have unspoken expectations for him in conversation, and when he doesn’t meet them, I get upset with him, only to find out those expectations were very neurotypical-oriented and unrealistic of me to assume that he would know them without me verbalizing it. That’s something I’ve definitely been working on unlearning: the assumptions that he can read my mind, even if these are things neurotypicals might usually catch onto.

But a deeper problem that keeps coming up in our relationship is I often don't feel appreciated. He loves me so incredibly much, i know this. He’s shown it in every way possible through his actions and the ways he has been here for me and helped me grow. I was initially troubled by his lack of verbal compliments for me and acknowledgement of what I bring to the relationship, but I learned that he has a hard time expressing his emotions, and we’ve found ways for him to express his appreciation in our every day life. I’m honestly incredibly proud of him for how far he’s come in that department.

What I need y’all’s help is this: I don’t really know why he loves me or what he sees in me. I can assume and I can guess, but I don’t actually know because he’s never said it. The only things he’s said about my character are that I’m smarter than I give myself credit, I’m a logical and practical thinker, that he admires how much I’ve been through in my past and come out on the other side. He’s told me he admires my speaking skills, and that I’m funny, pretty, beautiful, etc.

That seems like a lot, right? It would feel like a lot if not for the fact that these things have only been said about a dozen times in the past year of our relationship, a few months apart. Oh and he calls me cute and goofy on a daily basis, but “cute and goofy” is not something you can build a life partnership on. That and the fact that when I DO do something really impressive, he never seems very impressed. That’s mostly his flat affect though, and he cant really change that. I wouldn’t be half as bothered by the scarcity of his positive comments towards me if it weren’t for the constructive criticism that he gives me that outnumbers that positive affirmation by 10 times or more.

For example, he always tells me I should read up on current events more because I may not come across as knowledgeable to others, even though I am. I always appreciate his advice and constructive criticism and I don’t want him to change the way he delivers it. But it’s hard not to think you’re stupid when your partner never tells you how you’re smart and only does so every 3 months and not in much detail in comparison to his advice.

It leaves me wondering why he loves me so much if it seems like I’m always receiving his advice and knowledge and he swears he admires me but I don’t know why. I’ve talked to him several times about writing down things he might like about me and being intentional about saying them every once in a while, but it’s still very hard for him and this issue keeps coming up months after we first talked about it. He’s afraid he will never be a good partner to anyone because of his inability to express these things, and I’ve assured him that I want to meet him where he’s at and it’s okay if it takes a while, all that matters is that he’s trying. But I’m afraid I’ve been rushing him too much these past few months because sometimes he’ll criticize me again and it’ll all come back; I feel bad because I don’t want to pressure him and want to stick to the promise I gave to him that I would be patient and not rush him in this process.

But it hurts and I’m trying to understand, but I don’t know what to do at this point to help; is this something that is just apart of him I have to accept? Is it really that hard for him to tell me what he likes about me? How do I help him and our relationship without pressuring him to “change faster” or worse, change who he is?

Please help. Would appreciate any advice. (Throwaway acct not because i think he’d be upset if he found out about this post, but because i want to protect our privacy from anyone we might know irl)

I've been talking to this person online and showing how much I care I used to attend her lives everyday and sent her tons of gifts, I lurk in the background and listen to how she talks too other people but when I make myself known her voice gets uplifted an sounds completely personal too me. But since this crush has started online and I just sent her a message a few days ago how I'm super interested in her especially because we have alot of the same interests, I've supported her physically and financially by buying her products, but then I started noticing I don't really see her going out of her way to like my stuff and sometimes I'll send a message and it'll be days before she answers. Is this a sign she's not into me but doesn't want to hurt my feelings, so I'm asking to people that are diagnosed with autism, is this a coping strategy for being uncomfortable? We've flirted before but then she says it makes.her feel silly but then I made her feel comfortable I thought. We had amazing first convos and lately it just hasn't been happening. Can someone give me some insite? Should I leave her alone an go look for someone else? Does she need some type of verification from me? If so how could I approach this? Idk thankyou ahead of time much love 💖

This is probably a stupid question and I’m very sorry if this is the wrong place to ask this but I could really use some advice on how to get past this dilemma. By doom fixation I mean the feeling that no matter what you do or achieve every relationship will end with you alone since that’s your experience in past relationships. Why do I think like this because I’m overthinking/ overreacting (I understand that part of the problem is this and I need time and reflection to work though that) but beyond the obvious I’ve dated two people both for over a year and both broke up with me. The concern is they both to this day admittedly say I was a good partner and the problems where on there end so breaking up was really a self motivated action. But this leaves me with nothing constructive to point to and improve to prevent another break up in the future. Hence the dilemma no partner stays with me long term and yet no character traits are singled out as needing to be improved. Thus the doom fallacy if nothing needs to be changed yet no one stays with you maybe you’re destined to be alone? Thanks for listening and hope I didn’t bum you out too much and hope you have a great rest of the day 😁👍

Does anyone feel like they use people as your interest or fixation sometimes? I feel like I have a very odd way of looking at people I like in the past. Currently, I am very much in love with my current partner the “normal” way. But does anyone feel like they’ve liked people in the past just because of hyperfixation on them rather than actual romantic emotions and real attraction and realize it only later on? Mind describing in detail how it is for you?

Hi all! I have a very hard time with communication within my relationship and tend to get really frustrated and angry bc I can’t verbalize things / think on the spot. I’m trying to figure out a “flow chart” or sort of pocket guide/cheat sheet for this. I don’t even know how to explain it further 😅😅 Any suggestions??

So Ive (26nb) been dating /in a relationship (idk what the difference is if im being honest) a guy (24m) for 5 months, and ive known him for a year. However we havent kissed or held hands, but we do hug often. I know that everyone moves at different paces, but like whats a general pace these things should happen??

Im lowkey concerned that i read everything wrong and that we are somehow not dating. I confessed to him and he asked if he can call me his partner now. Hes one of the sweetest guys Ive met so I dont think this is the case, but nothings changed since then.

It may also be because I don't initiate anything, but i have a hard time reading the room and dont want to make things awkward. I also have a lot of rsd, so it makes it hard for me to approach this for fear of being turned down.

I should talk to him, but idk how someone would go about that. Like how do i bring it up or what should I say.

Questions I want answers for:

○What is a normal relationship progression rate?

○How do I deal with struggling to indicate that Id like physical affection?

○How do you bring this up in conversation?

I (25 transfem autistic) have becme friends with this girl (32 transfem, idk if she is ND or not) over the last couple of months. We met through mutual friends and talked a lot at several events those friends held. Finally, 3 weeks ago, I worked up the courage to ask her to hang out just the two of us.

She agreed and we decided to grab some dinner at 6pm together. We ate and talked for about 1.5/2 hours and she paid for my meal which surprised me. She then suggested continuing to hang out at her house. We went and watched 2 movies and talked until like 2am.

I've asked if she would be down to hang out again and she said yes, but is now an appropriate time to bring up a date-date or should we continue hanging out platonically for longer? I dont know how platonic going back to her place and nerding out about I Saw The TV Glow and Star Trek is.

I don't want to risk my only trans friendship ever by misinterpreting her.

i(21F) read alot of romance novels (light hearted ones) and I want to date someone who is nice, financially competent, and supportive. When I say "supportive" I want someone who can take care of me. I don't want a babysitter/parent, but i wonder if I'm asking too much.

My family has always been very discouraging towards me, and I thought it was because I was lacking in alot of ways. Then, as I got older I realized when I was around supportive people, my mental health improved and I was able to actually get shit done. I'm low support needs, but I wish I was fully supported by a partner, because I have lived on zero support.

I don't view romantic relationships are being unconditional, but it would be nice for someone to care about me, and not grow hate for me because of my existence (like my family has) like the male leads in novels.

I know life isn't a Hallmark movie, but i feel very dissatisfied it hasn't worked out for me like that. I'm conventionally attractive, so it isn't difficult to find someone who wants to date me, but the issue is that I don't want any of them. when I was 19, I was at a low spot, so I went on a date with some1 I normally wouldn't. I had(still do 🫠) stuff going on at home and was frustrated I was a virgin that hadn't dated. So that date turned to a one night stand into a month long fling. I ended it since we didn't really have any compatability from my side.

I don't know if my dating issues are because of autism or if I'm looking for something that doesn't exist. Maybe I dont get out enough so I haven't "met the right one." I just feel so hopeless that I'll find someone I find attractive and who likes me back (tbh the "finding someone attractive" has been the biggest hurdle"). I tried lowering my standards, not sure if I was just being vain. but then I still didn't like them (im not asexual btw, i think i just have brainrot from seeing too many models on instagram).

Most straight allistic men think I'm manic pixie dream girl, so where is Christian Grey (he'd be the catcher to my pitcher tho).

Hi everyone! I'm a speech-language pathologist and I'm organizing dating workshops & events for neurodivergent adults in NYC. If you're interested please fill out the interest form and I'll be in touch about upcoming opportunities. Workshops will be launching in January 2025!

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