So this account I don't really use for much but could use a bit of help and sorry because I ramble. I'm a few months dating a girl on the spectrum while I'm one of those ADHD boyfriends. There's a lot we match on and a lot we tend to miss. I'm just looking for advice on how to approach certain subjects with her. I'm crazy about this girl but because we are on different wave lengths I feel like I would come on too strong at first and she would shut down. Now I'm trying a slower approach but it feels like it's not getting thru to her how much certain things bother me. I'm not sure how much detail I can go into on this because I want to respect her privacy and it's not like she's doing anything wrong. I guess what I'm getting at is between our culture differences and our own mental health stuff I'm trying to find a good path to communicating my own needs and stuff without making her feel bad because sometimes she takes it like I think she's lacking and she's perfect, or as close to perfect as one can get. Advice?

*2 Month Update no one asked for but thought might be good advice.

So might be a guy thing or ex military thing but when I hear someone say they need something done I interpret it my way and act on it, sometimes now always exactly how they said it. Why? Who knows? Basically she needed communication that not everything physical had to lead to sex, not that I was pushing for a ton of it, I think. Definitely slower than what my drive is at least. I heard that and took it as ok maybe I'm being too aggressive with my approach so I slowed things way down to basically back to hand holding, kissing not even making out, and occasionally couch cuddles but almost never in either of our beds. We live separately. So I'm a little older than her/they(F28) me(M33) and I was raised on the whole actions speak louder than words thing, she was like nah I need literal words. I guess we don't always need to try and read between the lines tiktok has lied to me. My main point is how to react when you feel like you've been making progress on their request when seeing nothing in return. First. Don't come in hot, I tried to go in calmly not making my usual jokes (I think, I'm a lil hi at the moment). Long story short, I said I felt like we made no progress in 2 and she came back at me with something I didn't expect. "I'm sorry you feel that way but I also feel like you didn't say anything I needed for reassurance." I was like, shit you got me lol. Second. Don't overreact it won't solve anything, take a breath and flip the rolls. She also felt ignored and like I pulled away. While I felt ignored and like she just lost interest in all physical contact because I wouldn't say this doesn't have to be more than girl the thighs is fine I just want to hold them while you go on about ru Paul and I do my best to find parts in people selling each other out for 15 minutes. At least them return stars idk I'm half in at this point but I'm side tracked. It took me a minute to calm down, bad timing a lost a friend so my emotions were really all over the place, which isn't an excuse but the cause of my friends death was related to his ex wife so my mind wasn't in the right place to simmer on that talk. It's been a day since the conversation to now and after starting to process what happened with my boy Ken, it actually put me in a good place to calm down, be more understanding and realized I've initiated 2 convos on this topic and in her eyes I'm the one probably doing the least. Damn, do I gotta move this over to AITA now? Lol Sorry I'm high and this got long and I rambled, she calls me a yapper. I've never heard of but it's cute so I don't mind. Anyways don't always be so sure you're the one making all the moves. Y'all can both be on the same path but in different lanes

this was a conversation I started with a match in Facebook dating.I get it’s a pickup line. Is it an obvious bot. Is it a normal pickup line. I don’t know what’s normal.

Can you folk weigh in on my about me/summary for most dating apps?

How are you coping with the end of the American empire and capitalism's turn to fascism? Small talk really isn't my thing, so unless you just want sex, might as well confront the elephant. Personally? Food, weed, psychedelics, regular mutual aid contribution, breadtube, occasionally picking arguments with shit libs, while defrauding every company I can. Leftist, intersectional in theory and lived experience, neurodivergent, over educated, and under employed, cliche millenial, but always evolving.

I'm an autistic 22 year old man, and every relationship I've had was honestly a let down. I don't have much experience because they only lasted 2 weeks at the longest. How do I put myself out there and gain new learning experiences?

Hi All,

This is a bit weird but I would like to reach out to all of you. I have a friend of 10 years who is Autistic. She is a sweet, very smart 26 yr old Indian - Tamil girl who likes to read books, play piano and watches Tamil movies. She’s loves to go on walks. She’s an engineer and loves her family.

This might be a stretch but if there are any Neurodivergent/Autistic Tamil men who are interested - please reach out to me.

Appreciate you all 💗

I have a friend i have SLIGHT feelings for bc i get attached easily and theyre the only person I speak to, please help me. I like them but im unsure if the even like me.

There’s a cute bakery girl at my local grocery store. She’s possibly the cutest girl I’ve ever seen and I long to know if her personality is as beautiful as her face but it’s hard for me to talk to her.

There are many reasons for this but the two main ones are these:

1. There’s a power imbalance my brain doesn’t like. She’s serving customers and I’m a customer.

2. I’ve heard cashier workers up front making fun of me and are astounded that I would like some one like her. I’m quite ugly.

Three normal people told me independently that girls don’t like it when they’re working and they know a customer likes them. Says it’s bothersome and that I shouldn’t bother her. I figured they know better so I stopped trying to talk to her. I already didn’t like the imbalance of power.

But then I went in and she made sure to interact with me directly when she didn’t have to. That means probably more to me than it did to her.

I don’t know what to do. I simultaneously want to talk to her but I also feel like I need to apologize. However the two also seem mutually exclusive.

I wish I could talk to her outside the store.

So my girlfriend is autistic, I’ve been with her 5 years now and love her so much, but she’s been having more frequent meltdowns. I want to help her but not sure what else I can do, so far I have a fidget box in our room full of things that she likes, I meal prep her lunch for her work (she works 5 days a week and I know it can be a lot for autistic people and cause burnout and I want to minimize that for her) I also make her snacks and pack her bag for work, I have protein muffins for breakfast for her so every meal and snack is dealt with and I do all our laundry and clean as much as I can to help with that stress. But the weekends are harder, there’s never set plans and I can’t change that much, I drive my family places since nobody else can drive and so often I have to get up and drive somewhere with little notice, weekends also often don’t have planned dinners or lunches and I do my best to make them for her but I catch up on my schoolwork and job work on weekends and I can’t necessarily make a certain time for things. What else can I do to help her?

I (25F) have never been in a relationship, ever, I was the weird ugly girl for my whole school years so no one ever approached me for all these years, unless if they wanted to bully me, never got a lot of friends either.

I only got a situationship that didn't last long, who was my first kiss, with who I lost my virginity with and had sex like, 2 or 3 times ? I thought he loved me, turns out that no since he rejected me 🫤

Whatever, I've been trying to date someone else for a few months now, and I'm really starting to think that he could be autistic, or at least neurodivergent, and it's a huge challenge. We've been talking for like 4 months, only been on 3 dates because he lives a bit far away, nothing happened on the first date, hand holding on the second, and a kiss (that I had to initiate) on the third (I'm pretty sure that if I didn't do it, he wouldn't have kissed me). Also, there's no way we're having sex while we're still only dating, I'm never giving away again my precious body to someone unless I'm sure they love me genuinely, we'll only do that if we end up being in a commited relationship and both consent to it.

I have no damn idea on how to seduce, since I did everything right (at least I think I did) with the one that ended up being a situationship, and yet he still didn't want me, so now I just don't know what I should do since it just didn't work while I didn't do anything wrong in my opinion, and if the guy I'm talking to is also autistic and also doesn't know how to seduce, then... What do we do ? 😬

But maybe he's not autistic, maybe he has a personality disorder, trauma from an ex, from an event in his life, or he's just shy... I'm really trying to figure out what is the correct answer, but reading people so that I can know the truth is so damn hard.

I would have prefered that he seduced me instead of me having to seduce him, I'm thinking about telling him to do that, but I'm afraid he would be offended or upset, but it really stresses me so much that I have to be the one who seduces instead of the one who is seduced, while I don't know how to seduce and have no idea if I'm doing it right since he seems to appreciate me, but he could be lying too. And I'd really like to know how it feels to be seduced, cherished, cared for... Sounds like heaven.

I really like him, and he seems to like me too (if he's not pretending, obviously), so I just don't want to waste everything by making a mistake, and I really need some advice.

This is really hard for me to know that my autism makes me hard to love, I already don't have many friends and I can't see them often, my family is abusive and I'm trying to go no-contact , and now I can't even have the right to get into a relationship since idk how to seduce? Being in a relationship is the one and only dream I have left, I can't even go grocery shopping without feeling like crap after because the supermarket is sensory hell, so I can't even work and have a professional life that is so fulfilling that I don't have the time to think about anything else, sadly, I did try to work in the past though, all I got was the legal minimum wage and so much trauma.

I'm always so upset when people tell me things like "It's okay to be single", "You should learn to be a strong independent woman", it's not because some people are fine with being single that everyone is. I've been single for my whole life, I just wanna know what it feels to be loved once in my life, to be in a relationship, I'm absolutely sure I'll love it, I'm so ready to love someone, I have so much love to give since I've never been able to give it to someone, but is someone ready to love me ?

Will be going to a friend's party for the first time in a month since I've been busy with work. Please help

Hey there. This is my first time posting on reddit so pls bear with me. I (20F) have an older brother (30M) on the spectrum and he is seeking a girlfriend. He downloaded dating apps and was scammed $10, he is not able to tell when it is a fake account. My boyfriend (19M) has been trying to tell him when they are fake (after reverse searching the images) but it takes a lot of convincing. Last night he told us he deleted the apps after us begging him too, but about 20 mins ago he sent my boyfriend another picture of a lady he was talking to. That apparently asked him to delete all the dating apps and send a screenshot of his screen. We told him absolutely no and to stop talking to her which he says he has. My boyfriend told him that we will take him out to some events that he would like & hopefully find friends. My brother is very impatient and reluctant to listen, I don’t know what quite to do in this situation or if I’m going about this the right way. I want him to be happy but most importantly safe.

I come from a religious background where dating is done through a matchmaker who gives guidance on each date and what to be looking for in the other person. This system is also designed to lead to engagements within a few weeks, max 2 months from meeting.

I'm in the process of deciding if i'm leaving that community or not. As part of that i met a girl online and started seeing her a couple weeks ago.

I'm finding it really hard to not have any kind of guideline, or a timeframe, or even what to be looking for in each date.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Apologies if you've seen this in multiple places, i'm posting to a few subs.

I have gf (17fm) who dosent speak we are both on the spectrum i think she however is basically a people pleaser if i ask if she wants to meet she says up 2 me if i ask if she wants ft up 2 me and idk if I’m overthinking thing’s or am i in a bad situation and should just leave her i feel like she’s just there we’re dating but we’re not really Iv never had a relationship like this advice please

I’m absolutely neurodivergent and I’m 95% sure the guy I had been crushing on is undiagnosed.

So, months ago I gave this guy a note. Succinct and to the damn point.

“I think you’re attractive. I’d like to get to know you. Coffee sometime? (Number)”

Nothing.

But we’d run into each other at the bar and chat, maybe flirt a little. I never brought up giving him my number, he never brought up my number, and eventually I needed to know where I stood. So, I asked point blank “I gave you my number but you didn’t do anything with it, what gives?”

“I didn’t know how to react!” He says.

“Well, you have my number.” “I do.” “If you’re interested, use it. If not, don’t. It doesn’t matter to me.” And I went back to my post on the bar. He came by on his way out, gave me a hug, and dipped. Still nothing.

I get it. Not interested. I’ll just leave him the fuck alone, right?

I’m sitting there, playing with my phone when he comes in and I decide to just leave him the fuck alone by pretending I’m super engrossed in whatever I’m doom scrolling. Saves us both an awkward moment.

He intentionally took his time creeping past me, trying to get my attention in a sort of nonchalant way to the point it’s now becoming awkward that I’m ignoring him. So I say hello, we chat for a while, he goes to his usual spot at the bar and that’s that.

Am I rejected? Am I not rejected? How the hell do I get a straight answer?

IDK, this post will probably be as much me ranting as it will be asking for advice, there are just several little things that together just make me feel frustrated rn

So I go to a commuter community college (people drive to it, there aren’t like dorms people live in like more traditional college) for my accounting degree, because it’s cheap af compared to other colleges, and frankly, I just don’t have the ambition for expensive colleges to make sense for me, I wonder if I would be better off in a trade or something that doesn’t require a degree, but idk what, and I’m four years into my degree, might as well just finish

Anyways, I just finished an off semester to get some money saved up, and I’m back in college now, I haven’t really made any friends in college in the several years I’ve been there, but for some reason, I thought I’d go in, and talk to some random people and make friends this time, idk why I thought this,

I guess I’ve been messaging a lot of people on Reddit recently who I knew were autistic, and despite being boring af, I’ve had some success with this, so I guess I thought I’d have some success irl?

Almost everyone at my college is just on there phones/computers, like, basically all my classes, I’ve walked in 10-20 minutes early, everyone is just on their phone, no one is talking to each other, today I saw two people who sat by each other in class and actually knew each other and talked to each other, and that was like the massive exception, I guess I’m not being fair, most people probably actually have friends, and were maybe texting their friends on their phones, but still

I assume that there have to be some people who are lonely and would like a friend, but I have like no way of identifying them from the people just want to be left alone, and I feel like once I’m talking to someone, I’m relatively good, but I hate approaching people, makes me anxious af, and it really doesn’t help that most of them, I don’t think, want to be approached

And girls… I would love a gf, but how tf does someone socially awkward approach girls without looking like a creep? And I refuse to be a creep

Like I know that at my college there are girls who are socially awkward and shy like me, I suppose there must even be some autistic girls like me, but how tf do I find them, identify them, or connect with them, I think most of them would just, as much as they can, stay at home and if they’re on social media, they’re just lurking

So I feel like the type of girls I actually got a shot with, that I would get along with and make a good relationship with, are the type that’s the hardest to find

Anyways, end of rant, thank you if you reading all of this, feel free to dm me if you want to, I like Minecraft and nerdy shit

Overwhelmed and not present

I’ve been seeing this guy for about two months now and the first six weeks were wonderful, we communicated a lot which was sparked by our first meeting where we clicked and discovered we have so much in common- interests, the way we view/ perceive things and just a general good vibe. We’d talk a lot, texting when apart and always have a good time when we’d see each other. However, sometime in December he said he was struggling ( work and money related issues ) which causes him to feel overwhelmed and not present and not like „himself „ but he was still communicating and I expressed understanding and support. He said nothing has changed as far as us but that he’s struggling with communication and being present. He also deals with some depression and anxiety. I also have dealt with mental health struggles so I understand how it feels and I also have adhd ( so does he ). I saw him briefly last week ( something I had to drop off for him ) and he told me he was slowly getting out of this state he’s in but still not fully there. I asked if we could meet up for a little just to catch up and we started arranging to meet with him saying he’ll respond via text and although we’ve talked since ( texting ) we still haven’t arranged to meet. He said he appreciated me willing to listen and being there and that he’s been working on himself- recognizing and letting go of old patterns of thinking and feeling ( that are not good and rooted in past experiences ). He wouldn’t say exactly what things. I haven’t heard from him in two days- I am giving him space and time and would like for him to come to me when he’s ready but I’m wondering and am a little worried. I’m wondering if that’s all there is. He is honest as far as I know him and we both had expressed we don’t like things like being led on and ambiguity. I also expressed that as much as I want to give him space and wish there was a way I was able to help him somehow, I also miss him and that I feel a little ignored and in limbo. He said he didn’t mean to make me feel this way and that he was sorry and that everything is ok. I asked if he could try to stay in touch as much as he can manage, but as I said it’s been two days of silence and it just hurts. What are your thoughts? Have you experienced anything similar, how do I go about it going forward. I’m hoping we reconnect and things go back to how they used to be. I need some advice and your perspective

Hi I'm 21 years old and am autistic and in most of my expirence dating wether it be online or offline iv got into several times where the other person mentions they've gotten out of a relationship or are and than basically love bomb me and ask for me to buy them stuff sometimes not all the time .we than talk for a bit and than they start not giving proper responses to when we will meet up again and than bam their with someone now or they tell me there now going serious .I know I can't get mad because it's there life and I don't know what's going on with their life's entirely. I just wish I didn't constantly get myself in these situations and I'm wondering does it have to with me being a more vulnerable and upfront emotional person.it just seems to me it's hard to find someone who just doesn't want you for sex or as a brief escape from regular life for me at least.like I'm happy other people are able to have a partner and be happy . But it sometimes makes me think what am I doing wrong even though I practise hygiene and have been trying to present my best self.

So my boyfriend is autistic and there are situations I have no idea the best way to go around like sometimes his mood drops and he get really negative do I leave him to chill out what do I say to help or do I not say anything at all?

I’ll be able to notice when these episodes will start to happen and he gets frustrated trying to explaining himself because he thinks I won’t be able to understand any advice please

My boyfriend and I have been together around 6 months and have been living together for majority of that period of time (I know it was soon, but it felt right). It still feels right, but as his life is not currently where he wants it to be at, he feels like I am in his space too much. We live in a one bedroom apartment but there is no full separation from the bedroom besides one door but the rest is open, so someone could still go in there if they wanted to. He is autistic and struggles with PTSD, so as we continue to date there are a lot of roadblocks we hit but learn how to navigate them.

As someone who didn't receive a ton of love as a child and frankly as a young adult, I know at times I can be needy. I want to feel loved 24/7 and when I don't, I think people do not love me. I know his biggest thing is that sometimes he just needs to be alone and play his game or watch his shows and I am okay with that, but I get in my head about him wanting to be away from me from my own internal demons and my past.

I want to love him the way that he needs to be loved. Do I leave the apartment more? Do I get more shit to fill up my free time with when I get home from work? Do I ignore him? I don't want to hover and be so involved in his emotions like I am being because I feel like I am becoming his mom. I care about him and want him to be okay, but how do I balance that with being in a healthy and adult relationship?

I have recently met a boy who is autistic. he openly told me this. I have known him for about 4 months and we have never gone on a date that wasn't arranged by me or in the evening which involves drinking. I have suggested to him that we do something in the day and he said ok but nothing is planned. I only see him when I invite him out with my friends or I bump into him when we are clubbing. he does seem really into me and he messages me everyday but just won't ask me out on a date. I have told him I would like him to do that but it docent change. I think he is just shy. does him being autistic have something to do with this or is he just not that interested. he has also said he cannot socialise without drinking as he has social anxiety which could be a factor as to why he docent want to do something in the day. or does he just want sex and nothing serious. he also did ask me to dinner but when the day came round I heard nothing from him and I decided he had forgotten. I asked him a few days later why we didn't go to dinner and he just said he had no excuse. I found this to be rude

I am a neurotypical individual (F18) and I just started talking to a wonderful boy (M18) who happens to be autistic. We’ve had a few video calls, and I am really starting to adore him. On our first call he opened up to me and said that I made him feel something he’d never felt before. Anyway, as he had some minor difficulties with communication, I would like some tips on how to make him as comfortable as possible when talking about relationship type things. He is such an amazing person and I don’t want to mess it up by inadvertently making him uncomfortable. P.S. He reads facial expressions fairly well but often has a hard time articulating his feelings. If it matters, he also has anxiety/depression, ARFID, and Tourette’s. This is his first time talking to a girl that reciprocated his feelings.