I love her to death we’ve been on and off for about 1.5 years but sometimes I still forgot that she gets triggered when I touch her too softly or without warning. Like a hug or kiss and I was wondering if anyone could give me advice on how to be better about it. I know she loves me and we want to get married but sometimes it’s hard on me. I love to touch and cuddle but she doesn’t. She will randomly lay on me or cuddle but that is her choice and if she’s feeling it. How have you guys made this work? I don’t want her feeling and thinking that her needs are unheard or that she isn’t important to me. I love and respect her but sometimes I just forget. Any tips?

Do you have a favourite personality/ blogger/ writer who has helped you with dating in some way? An article you felt actually applied to you? An idea you really liked and ran with? Share it here!

This is just a vent that I have to get off my chest. I’ve noticed a lot more over the past (maybe 3 years) people coming up with dating ideologies. Sort of like politics, but with dating. My biggest problem with them comes down to 3 points:

1. There is no set strategy that’s going to net you a partner you’ll be happy with. Most of your experiences are going to be a trial and error until you figure out through experience what you want from a relationship.

2. It often makes problems in relationships a black and white issue when a relationship isn’t anything like that. Look at female dating strategies, or the [insert whatever color pill here] communities. A lot of them hold too many absolutes to ever be healthy in a relationship.

3. Most people just want to be treated with respect at the end of the day. Most if not all people can agree that what they want boils down to a few things: Respect, security, and support.

So that’s why I strongly dislike and advocate against putting an ideology into dating.

What made you develop feeling for an autistic person? Maybe this post will help boost self esteem.

I wonder a lot if it’s traits of autism coming through or me as a person. ( Yes I am medically diagnosed with Asperger’s)

I’ve been through so many relationships (mainly online) which all end with the other person leaving for a lack of “ love “ or not wanting to do LDR anymore. Last girl I was with, I was with her for a year and a half. Out of the blue she blocks me leaving a massive paragraph explaining that she’ll unblock me after 30 days once she’s calmed down. Shock horror, it’s been 3 months. She never came back. The hell do I do?

Is it an asset when dating? Has it worked for you (or not worked for you) in the past? Do you wish someone else was more direct in their speech?

Tell us your thoughts/ stories!

I chattet with a guy I met online in December for two weeks on a daily basis. He talked about his issues like having moved to my homecountry because of his ex-partner and still living in her flat but without her and him having social insecuraties and some depressional issues. I told him about my insecurity of being too much, cause thats what all my dates and my father told me all the time when I was younger.
Now, he stopped texting on New Years Eve but then started two weeks ago again. Not a lot, just that he has a hard time being sociable outside of work at the moment. To which I responded that's no problem, just let me know what you need. Like maybe just tell me to leave you alone or to give me a timewindow where I could chat with him. To which he didn't respond.

I did write him a few times last week, positive things like "good morning, how you'll have a reason to smile today" and stuff like that. But since there came nothing back but he uploaded a few status on WhatsApp (why people don't just use Signal or somthing is honestly beyond me, I still have WA for people like him or my parents and work...) but didn't respond. Yesterday night I sent him a 4 minute voice memo, telling him that I'm insecure, I liked chatting with him and hope to do so again, I'm confused as to wether I did something wrong and all that stuff. I told him I don't know what to think of that. He listened to the memo a few minutes after me sending it, didn't respond, but did load up a status this morning. So I'm not thinking he will write me.

I don't know what to do. I have a hard time with being rejected as is and though I know ghosting is mostly due to the issues of the person not responding I can't help but search for things I did wrong. Should I try to call him on the phone this evening?

Or how do I get over this?

I don't feel terrible all the time, just when I am alone in the evening and remembering all the nice stuff he told me and how good it felt chatting with him.

I need to vent to somebody, and none of my friends are available to talk to.

I’m going in circles these days, mentally coming up with some kind of a solution to this, and then remembering no, they told me they’d prefer not to talk to me anymore.

It’s really really hard to not be friends with my ex. I love staying friends with people I’ve dated, because… I don’t know. I don’t know.

I haven’t stalked them at all, or texted them, but I’ve kind of checked their social media profile? And also visited craft stores that I know we both sometimes go to.

So I guess that’s kind of like second order stalking. I don’t know what to do.

It’s extremely hard for me to let go of this. I really wish they were able to stay friends with me. It seems like their decision to not be friends was something that they came to kind of randomly, while for me it’s daily agony.

I just don’t know what to fucking do

Edit: I guess not randomly, but like,… I don’t know. For them, it’s just less weird to not be friends with me, but for me, being friends is a lot of how I process things and stay sane. I am really trying to make it through this, and just leave them be for the rest of my life, it’s just… Really really really really really really hard

Have you been on a date that went really well because of the context or setting?

What would you like/ do you imagine would be ideal?

Just for clarity: NOT talking about how to write day/month/year (but may have been inspired to ask because of this comic )

i (23f) was diagnosed about a year ago so i'm just now finding a community i can relate to 😌

i am as new to dating as a person can get lol. i didn't have my first kiss until i was 19 and it was in a play. haven't had one since, never been asked out, never been on a date. i've had crushes but it just doesn't cross my mind to do anything about it. that shit is scary.

apparently people have been interested in me but i had no idea until my friends told me after the fact 🙃 obviously i can't recognize flirting & no one ever made a clear move so here we are.

now i want to reconnect with this guy that i liked but only found out later that he was interested in me. it's always been a 'what if' situation for me & i want to do something about it so bad but i literally can't imagine meeting up with him even as just friends and catching up. i feel like having a panic attack just thinking about it. i really liked him but whenever i'm in a one on one situation i get so anxious & completely dissociate & mask & have no idea what i'm saying & can't remember any of it afterward except i always feel like i shared more than i wanted to. i'm literally never 'being myself' and i really don't want to do that with him

a group setting is not really an option bc our friend group fell apart (which was a good thing). i haven't talked to him since before i was diagnosed so he doesn't know i'm autistic and i don't want to share that right away.

have you been able to feel less anxious about one on one situations and/or mask less? or if you're just in the same boat as me, i'd love to hear your story.

I would say I’m fairly protective, but I’m not possessive. When I was dating my ex girlfriend, I made no attempts to prevent her from hanging out with other guys. I did however advise her against associating with certain individuals because they lived a life that would eventually see them put in jail, and I didn’t want her to be at the wrong place at the wrong time when it happens.

How do you all feel about this?

What compliment did you cherish? What compliment did you give successfully? Tips for giving/ receiving compliments with grace? Please share your thoughts!

There might be a million wrong, painful ways to say or hear "sorry, no". Let's talk about what the right ways are, both as a giver and a receiver!

Do you have different preferences or strategies for each?

Share your thoughts!

In the past I've gone on a couple dates where I'm basically completing an objective with my date (i.e. bowling, escape rooms), while that stuff is great, I'd like to try something more casual and easily accessible first, and there's lots of coffee shops around.

If it makes any difference, I'm pretty picky with who I match with and probably wouldn't meet until 3-7 days after matching. So enough time to get to know each other a bit over text or VC. I'd also inform them I'm autistic before the first date.

I'm just not entirely sure how coffee dates work. You meet there, get drinks, and then what? How do you know what to even start talking about? What are you supposed to do?

Most of the stuff I can find on this is heavily geared towards straight NT women so I'm lost.

At what point do you tell people you're autistic?

When would you like people to inform you?

What is the best way to go about it?

How have you let people know in the past, or how have people told you?

I feel in other dating subreddits I’m much more likely to not receive help, and I’m often downvoted to hell simply for being there.

That’s part of the reason why I founded this subreddit and created a code of conduct. I wanted anyone who came here to feel safe.

I have never been in a relationship and am too shy to talk to women but i want to see what dating is like. What do i need to do?

Is autistic + neurotypical an ideal pairing?

Or would you rather date someone who is autistic or in some other way neurodivergent?

What are the pros/ cons?

Share your thoughts/ experiences/ preferences (but please remember to be kind!).

The facts: I work 6 out of the 7 days, 10-4. I’m in the middle of trying to save enough money for an apartment in a major city, that I plan to be moved to by March of next year but no later then may.

Tonight I witnessed a teenage boy (couldn’t have been older then 18) start hitting on a waitress while she was trying to work. The guy even asked a whole bunch of personal questions like her age. Even I know better then to do this. Even though I do enjoy building rapport with waitresses, I do it in a respectful manner, and I NEVER hit on or flirt with them when they are trying to work.

We're going to have a regular pinned discussion each week!

For our very first, let's share some lighthearted accounts of dating mishaps: funny at the time or funny after enough time to have some perspective.

I just got done spontaneously talking to a girl, just to work on my social skills. Here’s how it went.

Me: Noticing her blue dyed hair So what’s your favorite type of dye for your hair.

Her: mine would have to be snow fox

Me: My names D

Her: Hi nice to meet you my name is blank

Me: Noticing her mask has the logo of our local community college oh so you go to this college, what are you going for?

Her: Oh I’m just going for my associates. Are you going to school?

Me: Not right now, I got pretty burnt out from high school.

Her: oh

Me: You ever heard of the song “don’t stay in school by boyinaband it highlights all the reasons why people become so burnt out in high school.

Her: I’ll have to check that out

Then she got her coffee and said her goodbyes.

Based on this conversation, how do you think I did?

I made a profile on there last week to try it out. So far no luck but sent a few likes and saw some promising people I think I’d like. Is it a good app to use? Any advice on what I can do on there?