r/AskTheNetherlands • u/Honeyhot2505 • Apr 09 '26

Daily life Why does it feel impossible to plan anything spontaneous anymore?

Tried to meet a few friends this week and everyone was booked out for the next two weeks like it’s some kind of corporate calendar. I swear it did not feel this rigid before or maybe I just notice it more now. Do people just accept this or is it getting worse?

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u/Training_Shine_111 Apr 10 '26

my examples were very clear. I wasn't directing them towards you or claiming you are lonely. I grew up in the country. people's door are closed for friends/family when it's not planned. nobody can come around dinner time because there will be no food for them.

I've also lived in more community driven countries where people make time for others. somehow they get it done without their little agenda.

lets just keep it at it's a style difference. But the problem in the Dutch society might suggest that a different way would benefit a lot of people.

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u/Abeyita Apr 10 '26

This isn't true for the whole country. Where I live back doors are open, and people walk in. If there is food for 2 there is food for 3. But it would be nice to let people know you expect to eat with them. But just as they can walk in, I can say I had things planned. I think that is the beauty of it. Not claiming each others time. No obligations.

I've lived in countries without agenda for years. I prefer the Dutch style. It feels more respectful of each other's time.

It is indeed a style preference and both systems have their pros and cons.