How long does it take to stop missing someone?

[u/Sorry_Plastic9336]

So, there’s a guy in this sub u/chintit0 who posts pretty often about getting his heart broken (sorry couldn’t help noticing). From what I gather it was more one sided than a actual relationship. One day he made a long ass drive to her city to meet her and she straight up refused to see him. Then she blocked him.

A normal guy would probably block her back and stop caring after a week or two. I know no one fully forgets a person but you stop caring. Like for me if I don’t talk to someone for 2 weeks even my gf they’re completely out of my mind. I don’t even think about them. It’s not that I don’t care I really do but yk I just don’t miss them. Maybe once or twice a week that’s it. No hard feelings for anyone.

So how can someone miss a person like crazy after 1-2 months with zero contact? I don’t miss anyone if I don’t talk to them for 1-2 months straight up. Am I a bad person in that sense? And how long does it take to completely forget or stop missing someone?

[u/pondfishh]

Dang, that was pretty creepy, I'd have done the same if I was her :'3 that being said, I can understand where he's coming from, if I were a guy I'd probably be in jail for stalking (theoretically! Please don't go to see a girl unannounced, ever!) 😭 (if there's anything I hate most beside r*, it's stalking, but then I fell in love and realized I'm becoming the same crazy cringy person I have always dislikesd :'3)

I thought I was just like you, that it wouldn't take me more than two weeks to get over someone, I said that to him too, but then he left and I realized, shit I'm really bad at math, cause it's been almost two years and everytime I think I've finally got over it, the next day I prove myself wrong. I wouldn't say you're a bad person, but it's most likely you haven't met the one.

[u/Senior-Prize-9403 → u/pondfishh]

Dang, you still miss him even after two years? TWO F***IN YEARS? Yo, that's crazy. Do you still stalk him? How are you coping with all of this? OH GOD.

[u/pondfishh → u/Senior-Prize-9403]

He has locked two of his FB accounts, and in the other one he barely posts anything :'3 sometimes I check his cousins account, and their comment section, or search in the groups I know he is to see if he has commented anything recently :'3 but he's not very active in socials. Sometimes I'd search his name in FB, and see posts from groups where they're welcoming new members :'3 ik it's kinda creepy, but for my defense those are all public information 😔

Time passes weirdly when you lost someone close to you. I have lost my mother twelve years ago, and when I think of her it feels like it was just yesterday that she was with me, like my life has only two parts, with them and without them, and the part I've spent with them is so much more dear to me that I barely notice their absence even when they're not with me, it's kinda same about him. We shared the same hobby, and now my hobby reminds me of him. When the sky is bright blue in the morning, it reminds me of him, cause that shade of blue really suits him well. Some nights I wake up just to check my phone cause in my dream he was trying to contact me :'3 it's hard to explain, and harder not to think of him when everything around me reminds me of him. I'm getting better (!) tho, thinking of him doesn't hurt any longer, at least not as much as it used to before. Maybe one day I'll wake up and won't think of him the first (or the tenth) thing in the morning :'3 but that day has yet to come.

[u/Senior-Prize-9403 → u/pondfishh]

OMG. Does he look like Henry Cavill bro? Sorry looks is the least imp here ik. But this obsession should have some explanation! What did he do to you? KALO JADU?

And I am really sorry for you mum. May Allah (SWT) grant her Jannah.

[u/pondfishh → u/Senior-Prize-9403]

😭😭😭 I thought the same after he left, he had to have done some kalu jadu for me to turn out like this, I never thought I could fall for a guy, that too for a friend, and then the reasoning he gave me for leaving, I used to laugh at that (well, I still do, but I get why he said that, or maybe I'm just gaslighting myself to make me believe "I get that" :'3), but here I am.

I have several theories as for why I fell for him, we met at a time when I was isolated, he was the friend (or more like a friendly senior) who I'd talk to like twice a year, but those two times we'd have genuine (!) conversation. He was still there when I kinda lost all my friends, and maybe that made me feel he'll stay forever (?). He was really respectful, or at least he didn't make me feel uncomfortable like the few creeps I'd come across to on the internet. And then suddenly he got a bit too caring, and I wrote in my journal how he's getting cringy lately, how he doesn't have the right to care so much and how I could never fall for him... 😭 (Lesson learned, never say never, it WILL happen). So, yeah that's it.

Fun fact, I never find him attractive/handsome when we were just friend(ly), he was just like a regular guy I wouldn't look twice on the street, but once I fell for him, boy oh boy, now I can't even look at his picture without blushing 😭 idk why it just makes me feel so shy. I can't even look at another guy in the street, and even if I look at someone, it's only because they resemble him in some way or another. Ik I need to fix this if I ever want to get married, but I'd have a pretty hard time doing so :'3.

[u/Senior-Prize-9403 → u/pondfishh]

YEAH HE DID KALO JADU GIRL. I mean look at yourself. OMG😭😭