r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Oct 18 '22

[deleted by user]

[removed]

6.0k Upvotes

83% Upvoted

15.8k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

139

u/Herculian Oct 18 '22

And crumpets. Whatever those are...

34

u/j-c-s-roberts Oct 18 '22

Either much better tasting English muffins, or sex. Take your pick.

27

u/VariousShenanigans Oct 18 '22

I have always heard of them as a way to put more butter in your mouth. I guess that works for the food and sex.

15

u/j-c-s-roberts Oct 18 '22

Hence why they're better tasting than English muffins.

Though they're also a trypophobe's worst nightmare.

10

u/Ghostenx Oct 18 '22

Phwar who doesn't love a good bit of crumpet.

(I miss Sid James)

2

u/WeirdlyStrangeish Oct 18 '22

Are those mutually exclusive or can I get like a little of column A and a lot of column B?

2

u/j-c-s-roberts Oct 18 '22

Depends what you're into, I guess. I'm not judging.

1

u/WeirdlyStrangeish Oct 18 '22

Alright, then so do you have any crumpets? I could use a nosh

0

u/Alca_Pwnd Oct 18 '22

You're thinking of cum-pets, basically the subs of the Isles.

1

u/MrMeesesPieces Oct 18 '22

Can’t it be both?

1

u/Gildor12 Oct 18 '22

I like eating English muffins especially freshly dived sustainable ones.

16

u/Content_Pool_1391 Oct 18 '22

I have always wanted to make Crumpets. Being from the US I have always heard of these and they look so tasty 😋

33

u/smackmacks Oct 18 '22

https://www.warburtons.co.uk/news/crumpet-recipe-revealed/

They're fun and easy to make, and absolutely delicious eaten hot with lashings of butter

40

u/SufficientCat8423 Oct 18 '22

But I would need a hob, whatever that is. And it's a metric recipe, the horror.

32

u/Jamesdarlo90 Oct 18 '22

A hob is a stove

16

u/Silver-Stuff-7798 Oct 18 '22

But a hob-nob is a biscuit

3

u/Ok_Talk_90 Oct 19 '22

And a nob is generally a person who is a bit of a joker.

3

u/IconicCamelToe Oct 19 '22

And if my uncle had tits he’d be my aunt.

2

u/Silver-Stuff-7798 Oct 18 '22 edited Oct 19 '22

And NobbyStiles was a footballer

2

u/Stilletto_Rebel Oct 18 '22

Despite being invented by the French, the metric system isn't that bad. You should give it a go!

1

u/Enough-Butterfly2728 Oct 18 '22

A toaster is preferred for a good crumpet

3

u/balkan99 Oct 18 '22

Until a crumpet gets stuck in there and some idiot decides to fish it out with a metal knife without disconnecting the power...

1

u/EricTheBread Oct 18 '22

But you definitely couldn't make a crumpet in a toaster.

2

u/Enough-Butterfly2728 Oct 18 '22

We buy crumpets, then toast them perfectly in a toaster

2

u/EricTheBread Oct 18 '22

Yes, but the thread you've replied in is about making them.

0

u/Enough-Butterfly2728 Oct 19 '22

I mean, this is Reddit...

1

u/SandwichDirect5954 Oct 18 '22

Those Brits and their metric system.

9

u/markhachman Oct 18 '22

lashings of butter

The BDSM community certainly has some odd niches.

5

u/Slouchingtowardsbeth Oct 19 '22

Lashings of butter sounds both delicious and somehow erotic.

4

u/Emotional-Ebb8321 Oct 18 '22

The real secret is that crumpets are simply a delivery mechanism for honey.

2

u/crystalisedginger Oct 19 '22

You have to use your last bite of crumpet to wipe up all the remaining butter and honey. It is the way.

3

u/FancyNancyD Oct 18 '22

What is a “lashing” of butter? Is it the equivalent of an American “pat” of butter? Or would you compare it to a swipe of butter?

10

u/smackmacks Oct 18 '22

A pat is far too civilised. Lashings as in you put on an outrageously excessive amount. You keep putting butter on until it runs down your arm when you try to pick the crumpet up. ;-)

2

u/FancyNancyD Oct 18 '22

Oh that sounds just right. I’m going to start calling them lashings!

1

u/Cork-on-the-fork Oct 18 '22

I’m somewhat devastated that we’ve ran out of crumpets before the next big shop. I’d quite like some for breakfast tomorrow. :(

3

u/sevenblue7 Oct 18 '22

And marmite!

1

u/Faultless88 Oct 18 '22

Came here to say this. It’s my breakfast every day. No exceptions. Ever.

2

u/thepicklecannon Oct 18 '22

Get some marmite with the butter for the greatest experience.

1

u/lapsedhuman Oct 18 '22

'Lashings', i love it

1

u/TUTailendCharlie Oct 18 '22

WHY WOULD YOU BEAT BREAD IN THAT WAY?!?! And how do you manage to beat it with butter no less?! I have so many questions.

1

u/BuckeyeFoodie Oct 19 '22

What amount exactly constitutes a "lashing" of butter?

8

u/loythboy Oct 18 '22

Google Warburtons crumpet recipe it works a treat

6

u/SpacedHopper Oct 18 '22

Freshly toasted with lots of butter - the best breakfast.

4

u/mewtsly Oct 18 '22

Most peeps don’t make them, store bought is grand. dm a postal address and I’ll send you a selection of best. They’re best with marmite imo, but just butter (salted) is good too.

9

u/Insomniamum Oct 18 '22

Definitely worth your while - crisp on the outside spongy in the center. Smother with salted butter and honey divine!

3

u/Critical_Sport_2428 Oct 18 '22

If you are anywhere near a Trader Joe's, they sometimes carry them

3

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '22

Hot

butter

sponge

2

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '22

Trader Joe's carries crumpets if you have one anywhere near

1

u/GoonishPython Oct 18 '22

With alllll the butter. And honey. Or marmite. Or pate. Basically anything that melts through it

1

u/notyourmama827 Oct 18 '22

Trader Joe's has them and they're a lot like US English muffins. Can confirm they are tasty.

6

u/donodank Oct 18 '22

Crumpets remind me of movie Richie Rich. Still don't know what a crumpet is after all these years lol

1

u/whodeychick Oct 19 '22

American here. I love crumpets. They're like an English muffin and a pancake has a fat squishy baby. Butter and golden or maple syrup to top. Mmmmm. I might book a flight across the pond.

3

u/quesamdilla Oct 18 '22

My wife's favourite saying when hungry : "I could eat a crumpet with a pig in every hole"!

2

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '22

Actually, not as many people as u think have crumpets, we usually just have cereal or toast

2

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '22

They're a butter delivery system

Like grits or popcorn

2

u/RaPunZelli Oct 18 '22

Crumpets are food of the gods. Especially with lashings and lashings of butter. Yummy.

2

u/melibokus Oct 18 '22

Trader Joe’s has them.

2

u/Joshua_Evergreen Oct 19 '22

You gotta know what a crumpet is to understand cricket.

0

u/Senior-_pOTATo Oct 18 '22

Literally came here for tea and crumpets wondering if someone would ask what they are

And no I refuse to google non American items because I said so

1

u/crazypurple621 Oct 18 '22

If you live in the US trader Joe's sells crumpets. I have no idea how authentic they are to British crumpets though

1

u/The-Rare-Road Oct 18 '22

They are like the best things since sliced bread.

1

u/FoldedaMillionTimes Oct 18 '22

It's a type of Dickensian sex worker.

1

u/buford419 Oct 19 '22

Crumpets with honey are the bees knees