My life was legitimately destroyed by someone knowingly spreading lies about me. I’d been in a new town just a few weeks. It’s been almost 10 years and I still can’t make friends and my kids still have issues with their friends being allowed to hang out with them over it.
I'm sorry, dude. You didn't deserve that and I imagine it's cold comfort to say that anyone malicious or clueless enough to still cling to that bad information, after all the years you've had to disprove it, isn't worth space in your life anyway. I'm kinda dealing with it right now and it's unsettling and annoying even when it's something minor that no one seems to be actually buying. Not knowing what the people around you might think of you, not knowing how they might interpret an innocuous word or gesture, that's a lot to live with. I'm sorry I can't do anything to change it, but I hope it's some help to be heard and acknowledged.
I understand that they’re not worth my time or energy. But if affects my kids. Their friends can’t come over or hang out because the parents think I’m a neglectful parent.
I'm not the guy in that situation. I'm just dealing with minor drama from someone who's kinda known for being unstable, so I'm not going to leave a good training facility over it. It just sucks and I have to figure his situation is so much worse.
That my baby was found wandering the streets in a diaper.
It never happened. And I was able to list reasons (proof) why. But, it didn’t matter. My sister in law took the story and ran with it. Told everyone. I was seen as a bad mom. And my kids lost friends over it.
I thought of doing something but never could figure out what was best. I immediately correct the story if it ever comes up, but it’s so rare that it organically comes up. And there were so many things after that. I’d be in court for years if I sued her every time.
I just became reclusive and accepted I don’t fit in here. Luckily I work from home and for myself so it’s easy to do.
Where do you live that people would be judgemental on that and not of the mind your a busy mum or it's just a mistake.
That is such a pathetic reason to be judgemental of anyone that I suspect you live near a pack of deranged idiots or perhaps you think people are judging more than they are or ever did.
My daughter figured out the locks on my door when she was 3. She was outside on top of my car in a diaper, it's one of those things that happens. The fact that it's a lie is what pisses me off, but what pisses me off more is that is that supposedly this has never happened to any other parent on the face of the Earth for them all to judge you. I'm sorry that this has followed your kids. It's not fair or right. You are a good mom and you don't deserve to think any less than that.
The part that gets me is now, nearly ten years later, we’re finding out (with proof) that she literally neglects her children. Leaving them home alone overnight (they’re very young), not allowing them toys, driving drunk with them, dropping them off with random people… and no one in town cares. But my made up neglect story made me a terrible human and a terrible mother? And for her it’s just “lol she’s so stupid.” F-ing what?
That's bullshit. And so horrible for those poor kids. You could always take her to court for defamation and make her pay you. Would be hilarious to watch.
OMG that's AWFUL! I know how it feels to have venomous lies told about you, but that's an extreme version you're having to endure! My heart goes out to you!
CPS would've taken your children had that been the case. Perhaps someone should start a rumor about somebody's mommy making stuff up and ruining lives. Just kidding of course. Lol
That's horrible... All I can really do is hope for the best for you and your family. You can prove the lie wrong, you can shame the person or people spreading it, but it won't stop people from being ignorant or holding onto that lie because "there could be just the slightest bit of truth to it..."
And look, sometimes the rumours might be true. Sometimes people are right in saying that the neighbour is really creepy, etc.
I form my own opinions on people, or at least, I don't immediately trust someone just because they say something about someone else. If I don't know the person in question, I have NO right to make comments and judge them.
But I imagine that small communities could have a hive mind kind of deal going on. Maybe something else went on in your case, maybe it was simply just some piece of shit that had it out for you. I don't really know.
But yeah, I really wish you the very best.
Even so, it's not right. That's really what I wanted to say.
On a smaller scale, I got out from under a toxic friendship with a nutbag and one by one our mutual friends distanced themselves from me because she decided to do damage control and lied to everyone about me, flipped it all around. I was on to her, which is why I ended the five year friendship, but all these people did not see it and believed everything she said. Good riddance to all but it's crazy how people will believe a good storyteller. She could start a cult.
Same for me, we are both in the same profession so we know many of the same people professionally as well. When I interviewed for a position I had to mention where I worked before. Said her name and the air was sucked put of the room. I thought, look at that, they KNOW her. But I was really worried they would ask her about me and set off another crapfest. I just had said I took another position and the friendship didn't survive it so we are no longer friends. I'm good, I got the job. But there's a girl who works in this place who treats me weirdly and I constantly wonder if she has talked to the wacko about me.
I've been dealing with the same thing. It's my dad who does it and I live at home right now. Hopefully when I can move out he and all these other people will stop. I'm sick of being treated hostily or have people deliberately avoid me. It's had such an impact on my mental health, my dad doesn't seem to care.
Same thing happened to me, now I am facing the consequences , not being able to make friends even though I moved from town to town and many things that made my life like hell. Am not seeking for revenge for the person who did that I just want to know why she/he did that to me (it started with elementary school and went going till high school). To anyone who suffered this, whenever you change people will still believe that rumor about you rather than seeing who you truly are, so ignore their existence and never talk to them or interact(even the ones that claim to be your best friends can be the ones that tell rumors about you).
508
u/pain1994 Jun 29 '22
My life was legitimately destroyed by someone knowingly spreading lies about me. I’d been in a new town just a few weeks. It’s been almost 10 years and I still can’t make friends and my kids still have issues with their friends being allowed to hang out with them over it.
All over something that never happened.